Narnia PD

BarbarianKing

BarbarianKing

Knight of Narnia
Staff member
Knight of the Noble Order
Citizens of Narnia! There have been some encouraging news regarding how our beloved country is being represented in the new Human movie on Earth! Let's hope it is all true. Praise be to the great Lion for the good news!!

However, we must not let our guard down as there is still work to do until ALL humans understand the real Narnia and become our allies as they all come to the knowledge of our common creator, and the name by which He is known in their wold.

As Chief of Narnia Police Department (hey, now one else wanted the job!) my first task is to ask for recruits to become full-fledged officers charged with the task of ensuring that the purity of C.S. Lewis' writings remain and be ready to proclaim the Saving Grace of our Great Lion!

(you can clap and cheer here)

As my first task, I appoint Copperfox as second in command, and the badger (otherwise known as the furry mod) as adviser.

All recruits, please line up on the right and to be sworn and to begin training IMMEDIATELY!!!!

There are other positions within the department to fill in also!! When you sign in, please let us know what job you want. We especially need detectives investigate various crimes, including some involving the smuggling of enchanted turkish delight that was trying to make its way to Cair Paravel!!
 
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Unsolicited advice? is there any other kind badgers give?

And how come no one else wants to join the force to combat evildoers in Narnia?
 
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Just a routine permaban, folks. Nothing to see here. Nip along smartly now...
 
Well, I'm reporting for duty. My first project is to go on TV with a crime-watch bulletin:

Citizens and friends! We have weathered a literary, artistic and spiritual crime wave, and it is by no means ended yet. I ask you to consider: have you recently observed any of the following behaviors on the part of persons in creative professions?

1) Wanting to tear down role models of heroism and submerge them in mud.

2) Deciding that a child character cannot be appealing enough AS a child, and insisting that this character must be made old enough to become an object of romantic fantasies.

3) Acting sickened and repelled by the fact that Aslan stands for Almighty God, not just a cool talking lion.

4) Delighting in depicting good-guy characters getting into unproductive squabbles with each other.

5) Preferring big-wow visual effects above the quality of a film script.

6) Excusing any of the above infractions by saying, "But it's ONLY a story!"

If you witness any of these crimes, please report them to the Narnia Police Department. Your reward will be knowing that you did what you could to prevent a great and godly author's work from being mocked and ruined.
 
~Lava~ said:
I would like to join this great task.

I would like to be a detective. CS(Lewis)I style.
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Welcome recruit!! In recognition for being the first volunteer, we will definitely make you a detective. And for the record, all our detectives ARE CS(Lewis)I style!!!

As a bonus, we'll give you a uniform that looks exactly like the badger's!!!!
 
In my lecture course for new trainees on the force, I use a deservedly short-lived Sixties-ish TV comedy series (on CBS, I believe) as an illustration of artistic vandalism.

At the time of which I speak, actor Yul Brynner was still alive and healthy, and was widely remembered for his performance in the movie of the musical "The King and I." Since Mr. Brynner was available, some television developer got the brainstorm of hiring him to star in a weekly (non-musical) series adaptation of the big-screen musical. The small-screen spin-off was titled "Anna and the King."

What's maddening is that this show DID NOT HAVE TO be a flop. Mister Brynner carried his end, bringing undiminished acting talent to the role of the King of Thailand (Siam). But the ~M~O~R~O~N~S~ at the network decided that they "had to" change the real historical heroine, Anna Leonowens of Britain, INTO AN AMERICAN.

They did this despite the fact that Americans of the same period had widely accepted British characters on TV and in the movies (for instance, The Avengers, James Bond and Mary Poppins). This major format change insulted two nations at once: Britain, by saying that the actual heroine who really existed in the nineteenth century wasn't good enough, and the United States, by saying that our people were too stupid, narrow-minded and provincial to approve of any TV series without an American leading character. So the series was robbed of much of its proper flavor from the very start, and was doomed to fail from the very start.

This, young cadets, is the lesson you must apply to the protection of the Narnian spirit: be on guard against the perverse twist in human nature which wants to ruin things UNNECESSARILY. We all know the saying, "If it isn't broken, don't fix it;" but there are many people in the world of the arts and media whose motto is, "If it isn't broken, BREAK IT, and claim that you're improving it."
 
Oldest film versions of the Scarlet Pimpernel and Pride and Prejudice are similar in egregious meddlesomeness.
 
Just to show that we are not ridiculously rigid, I will acknowledge a case in which a change made for a movie did NOT ruin the intent of a story.

When Jane Austen wrote her otherwise wonderful novel Sense and Sensibility, she became guilty of a serious omission. She simply stated as a terse, unelaborated fact that Edward was a nice guy, and that Elinor fell for him. We were not shown anything of HOW Edward had this effect on Elinor.

Therefore, when Emma Thompson helmed her film version of that book, she spent a good deal of screen time filling in the gap. All the specific examples of Edward's kind and considerate behavior toward the Dashwood family were made up fresh, not drawn from the book. But they did not violate any part of Miss Austen's intent; they succeeded in showing us that Elinor had a REASON to love Edward.

In the same way, depicting an air raid in the LWW movie did not ruin anything. We police officers are not fanatical opponents of every conceivable cinematic embellishment, only opponents of that which contradicts the spirit and essential content of the Narnian stories.
 
Mozart the Meerkitten said:
hi, can I join? I don't really care what part I'm in.:)
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After your training, you'll join a contingency from Archenland PD in charge of patrolling the southern border where the desert begins. We think that's where the major plotters for the smuggling of enchanted turkish delight reside.
 
Lucy but Taller said:
LBT,reporting for duty sir. *salutes*

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Awesome!! You'll be given an intensive CS(Lewis)I detective training and sent to work in Lantern Waste District which our intelligence tells it's one of the major smuggling point for enchanted Turkish Delight!!
 
We'll want to analyze that evil Turkish Delight, in case it proves to have additional evil neurological effects not documented by Mr. Lewis.
 
I want you all to know that I have a license to pack a gum. Get rough with me and I'll jab you with my spearmint.
 
You ought to see how hot my peppermint is! :D

Jadis tried to fight back once using WINTERgreen. The flavour lasts and lasts...a hundred years to be exact.
 
We need some invisible duffers to join. They'll be used to tail Andrew Adamson to make sure he doesn't touch another Narnia movie again. Unless he promises to behave this time.
 
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