“No more ghost stories,” Teddy demanded.
“Ooh, just one more!” said Johnny. “I just got this great idea…”
“Boys, time for bed,” called Pete’s mom.
This put an end to the prospective fight, and we eventually fell asleep. The next morning, Pete’s mom greeted us with a breakfast of Fruity Rounds.
“Boy, Pete, you sure have it good,” mumbled Rory around a mouthful.
“She just bought it as a treat,” Pete explained. “I don’t eat like this every morning.”
After we ate, we began a War Tournament. Not with weapons or anything---the card game War. After several interesting rounds, it was down to Pete and Johnny.
“I’m going to win,” Johnny said as Henry dealt the cards.
“How can we be sure of that?” Rory asked skeptically.
“What does your heart tell you?” Johnny replied.
There was a pause.
“Did all those ‘follow your heart’ posters at Happy Angels mess up your mind or something?” said Rory.
“No, it’s a Lord of the Rings quote,” Johnny explained. “And I AM going to win. In fact, I bet the Ultimate Embarrassment that I will.”
“Nooo!” shouted the other McGillis boys.
“What does he mean?” Tim asked. “What’s the Ultimate Embarrassment?”
“Old home videos of us as dumb little kids,” said Rory. “You and Pete get to watch them if Johnny loses. He better win.”
It all came down to a final war. Johnny triumphantly put down a king.
“You can still take it back,” Pete said before lifting his card.
“Never!” said Johnny.
The other McGillises closed their eyes in horror as Pete revealed his card---an ace.
“You had no right to make such a stupid bet, Jonathan McGillis!” Rory yelled. “You should have taken it back while you had the chance!”
“A man’s bet is his honor,” said Johnny grandly.
“Is that a movie quote?” said Tim.
“No, it’s from the book I’m writing---Outer Battles Epic: Space Skis.”
This sounded so weird, we didn’t ask. Johnny led the way to the McGillis family apartment, where he proceeded to pull a large box out of the storage closet.
“There’s this one DVD Dad made with all the…highlights…from the old VCR tapes,” he said. “Oh, here it is.”
The first scene was of a little blond-haired baby sitting surrounded by pillows. “July 3rd,” announced the voice of Mrs. McGillis. “Sally can sit up now!”
Baby Sally grinned at the camera.
“You should have seen all the tapes we had of just Sally,” said Johnny. “You would not believe it. ‘Sally, one day old. Sally, one day and one hour old. Sally, one day and two hours old.’ You would think all Mom did til I was born was walk around with a video camera and tape Sally. Come on, let’s skip to where most of us are at least born.”
Henry, who had control of the remote, obeyed. The disembodied voice of Mrs. McGillis was heard again. “August 12th. Sally starts school next month! I can’t believe it! Sally, are you excited?”
Five-year-old Sally looked up from her coloring book and nodded. Four-year-old Johnny jumped in front of the camera. “Hey, Mommy! Lookit me! I can do a flip right off the table!”
Even at five, Sally had her older-sister look. “Johnny, Mommy was filming me.”
There was a wailing noise in the background (probably baby Teddy), and the camera was shut off. The next scene was four-year-old Johnny standing on a stool in front of a group of people.
“Relatives,” Henry explained. “Grandma’s annual Christmas party.”
“Now, Johnny,” said a woman in a festive red and green dress. “Can you recite your poem for us?”
“It’s too embarrassing!” Sally whispered. “Don’t make him do it, Aunt Linda!”
Aunt Linda looked determined. “You want to do it, don’t you, Johnny?”
“Sure,” said Johnny. “She said she’d give me a glass of Coca-Cola if I did, Sal.”
“Quiet, everyone!” announced Aunt Linda. “Little Jonathan here has a poem he wants to recite.”
Johnny began, saying it too fast and with pauses for breath in the wrong places.
“I’m standing in the corner, my mom is mad at me…”
Real-life Johnny snatched the remote from Henry. “Okay, that’s enough of that.”
The scene changed to one of four-year-old Henry reading a Science for Kids chapter book.
“March 8th. Henry, say how old you are.”
Henry glanced up. “Four.”
“And what are you reading?”
“About the five senses. This book says when you breathe, molecules of what you’re smelling go up your nose. You think if you smelled a cake long enough, it would disappear?”
Five-year-old Johnny burst in front of the camera and held up a purple action figure. “Mom, look! It’s Gadzo Zippin!”
“That’s Captain Purple,” Henry corrected him.
“Uh-uh! In my story, he’s Gadzo Zippin.”
“It said on the box his name was Captain Purple,” Henry said.
“Boys,” was all Mrs. McGillis said before remembering to turn off the camera.
“This is boring,” Teddy said. “Let’s skip to later.”
“Yeah, something when we’re older,” said Teddy.
Rory grabbed the remote. “Okay…I think chapter 14 has you in it.”
Chapter 14 was obviously the McGillises getting ready for another school year. They had evidently been told what to say beforehand---their name, age, and upcoming grade. It started with Teddy. “I’m Teddy, and I’m five, and I’m going to kindergarten.”
“Why is it called kindergarten?” Rory asked. “There’s no gardens there.”
“It’s from a German word,” Henry explained.
“Your turn, Rory,” prompted Mrs. McGillis.
Rory looked bored. “I’m Rory, I’m six, and I’m going to first grade.”
Henry looked eager for school to start. “I’m Henry. I’m seven, and I’m going into the third grade, but not the same one as Johnny.”
“Yeah, you’re going to the nerd class,” muttered eight-year-old Johnny.
Mrs. McGillis and Sally gasped.
“Jonathan! Where did you learn that word?” his mother demanded. “Sally, shut off the camera. Your brother needs…”
“That looked like it could have been interesting,” said Tim. “Too bad she turned it off.”
“Where did you learn that word, anyway?” asked Pete.
Johnny shrugged. “That was in the distant past. How am I supposed to remember?”