I wish I knew why Sturdinae had an ID crisis.
granted. the storytelling, all-knowing carlos pops up in front of you and tells you the whole story.
"it was a day in july. sturnidae starling wished he could fly.
he went home to his wife - all he had in life.
but she said "i know eagle accipitridae, he is much stronger than you, he has more feathers than you and he can fly!"
she left him this very day, to sturnidae's dismay.
he led a miserable life, without his cheating wife.
all the other eagles thought 'twas a shame,
and fell unconscious if someone mentioned the name,
the very words of that day,
"i know eagle accipitridae".
yes even the first letters of that,
"ikea" drove the eagles mad.
onehundredfiftythousand years later,
(sturnidae was a starbucks waiter)
his wife bought a bookcase and a game of dart
from ikea - terror struck sturnidae's poor heart.
he fell unconscious and woke again,
but never his old same.
the last thing he could remember before passing out,
was the name of the wicked lout,
by tragic misunderstanding he became accipitridae
and from this very day,
no starling would ever speak to him any more,
that was good cos his ears became easily sore.
but the moment sturnidae had become accipitridae,
the real bad eagle was struck by a ray
of light and became a starling,
that was the strangest thing
that had ever happened to him.
and he never found his true identity again,
as punishment for the time when
he stole the starling's darling."
when carlos was finished with his story, he died, because he was tree, and he had used all the oxygen he'd produced on telling the story. you are arrested for murder and since there's no free cells in the local jail anymore you're locked up in the insane asylum. in the same cell as derny's cd player (she put it there because it played the duffer song over and over again).
