The Marketplace of Technique: Open to All

Another way to avoid using said is by putting a statement about the character either before or after the quote itself--that way synonyms are unnecessary.

Example:

"I'm sick of this place!" Jess flung his books on the bed.

Garrett laid a hand on his shoulder. "Just hang in there. You'll get used to it. It takes a while for a new town to become home."
 
Very good, Glenburne. Put it in context. Matter of factly if a book about the last man left in the world ended with the quote "WHY ME???" I doubt we'd need to say that the last man on earth shouted "Why me???"... :p
 
The Sonnets thread has gained a little fresh attention. So now may be a good time to reinforce the understanding that THE greatest hurdle in sonnets for a modern writing student--the rigid pattern of syllables--is not really that hard to jump over.

Following, then, are some perfectly normal sentences which, while not rhyming with each other, all do fit EXACTLY with sonnet rhythm. If you read them out loud to yourself, you will be getting the feel of the meter.


This S.U.V. has got a worn-out tire.

Where did the babysitter leave the keys?

My television set is four years old.

I'm cooking chili for tomorrow's lunch.

On Halloween I dressed as Wolverine.

Will anyone be there if we go now?
 
Copperfox said:
The Sonnets thread has gained a little fresh attention. So now may be a good time to reinforce the understanding that THE greatest hurdle in sonnets for a modern writing student--the rigid pattern of syllables--is not really that hard to jump over.

Following, then, are some perfectly normal sentences which, while not rhyming with each other, all do fit EXACTLY with sonnet rhythm. If you read them out loud to yourself, you will be getting the feel of the meter.


This S.U.V. has got a worn-out tire.

Where did the babysitter leave the keys?

My television set is four years old.

I'm cooking chili for tomorrow's lunch.

On Halloween I dressed as Wolverine.

Will anyone be there if we go now?
Click to expand...

I don't hear any rhythm in that at all... but then again, I'm not the poetry girl, so maybe I'm just deaf to it.
 
Here, I'll help you, and help anyone else looking who is new to meter standards in poetry:



This S.U.V. has got a worn-out tire.

Where did the babysitter leave the keys?

My tel e vi sion set is four years old.
 
Copperfox said:
Here, I'll help you, and help anyone else looking who is new to meter standards in poetry:



This S.U.V. has got a worn-out tire.

Where did the babysitter leave the keys?

My tel e vi sion set is four years old.
Click to expand...

Yes, that helped. Otherwise I read those lines like a normal sentence and .... nothing was clickin'.
 
In most performances of Shakespeare's plays, the actors purposely speak the lines like ordinary sentences; but the rhythm pattern is there for those who are consciously listening for it.
 
Since we've had some discussion of what goes into creating a sonnet, I now offer an exercise in the fundamentals. That is, I am inviting anyone to attempt, not yet a complete sonnet, but merely some couplets: two-line combinations, not needing to be tied in to anything larger. This exercise WILL call on anyone taking it to use the format of lines with ten syllables each, every line beginning on an unaccented syllable and ending on an accented one.

Each of the following readymade lines is the first half of an unfinished couplet, independent of the others. Under each one, I leave markings to remind you of what the meter (rhythm) is supposed to be: da DAH da DAH, etc. I invite anyone looking to take one of these lonely first lines, and write a second line which rhymes with it AND keeps the same rhythm. Post what you write on this thread, please.


The Dancing Lawn is filled with Lewis fans.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /

Fan fiction is a popular pursuit.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /

"Fresh bread" is what we call new members here.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /

If Moderators lock a thread, it's done.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /

The Inklings were a literary group.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /

When Ephinie got married, there was joy.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /

A lot of girls are making banners here.
__ / __ / __ / __ / __ /
 
It is looking good. I took a class all about writing poetry once, but that was a long time ago (almost a third of my life ago). I have always been a prosy poet, did not do to well with meter and rhyming. In fact, one of my biggest problems in poetry class that only "sort-of" rhymed and my teacher did not think that they were in compliance with the assignments. Maybe one day, I will dig out some of my old poems and share them with you guys.
 
Here are a few. Not great, but I think I got the rhythm right.

The Dancing Lawn is filled with Lewis fans.
-That gather here from many different lands.

"Fresh bread" is what we call new members here.
-But that does not mean we don't hold them dear.

If Moderators lock a thread, it's done.
-And we are sad if we were having fun.

The Inklings were a literary group.
-I wonder if they ever discussed soup.
 
Actually, Zella, those were pretty good. Thank you, now I don't feel so neglected. Note that your phrase "discussed soup," if pronounced conversationally, goes right against the syllable pattern of the sonnet. Now, even great poets do sometimes take just that kind of liberty; but for illustration, let me say that something like "SPOKE OF soup" would keep the same meaning, yet restore proper meter.
 
Copperfox said:
Actually, Zella, those were pretty good. Thank you, now I don't feel so neglected. Note that your phrase "discussed soup," if pronounced conversationally, goes right against the syllable pattern of the sonnet. Now, even great poets do sometimes take just that kind of liberty; but for illustration, let me say that something like "SPOKE OF soup" would keep the same meaning, yet restore proper meter.
Click to expand...

Thank you. I knew it wasn't quite right but wasn't sure how to improve it.
 
Well, that suggests the next lesson: word substitutions, to preserve the idea-content of a poem (or song lyric) while improving the rhythm, the rhyme, or the phonetic effect.


Here are four lines from an imaginary sonnet. In them, I am purposely NOT keeping good rhythm. (Note that I believe the name "Volturi" to be properly pronounced with the accent on the second syllable, Vol-TU-ri.)

Loving a sexy vampire is stupid;
The Volturi might want to kill him off.
They'd tell him, "You can't love a mortal kid;
Sexy vampires must not start getting soft!"

The third line of these four is rhythmically correct; but all the others violate the meter. The words "Loving," "stupid," "Volturi," and (in the last line) "Sexy vampires," in the locations where I've put them, force accented syllables to go where the meter wants unaccented ones, and vice-versa. So in the rewrite, I make changes for consistent meter, WITHOUT spoiling the meaning of the poem. (Note that ONE-syllable words can be treated as accented OR unaccented syllables, as needed in a poem--though of course awkwardness can occur if a word like "THE" is made a stressed syllable.)

To love a sexy vampire is unwise;
Volturi lords might want to kill him off.
They'd tell him, "Human girls can't stir your sighs;
We can't have sexy vampires getting soft!"

The new version maintains the "da DAH da DAH da DAH" rhythm all through. In the course of correcting the stanza, I had to change the rhyme of the first and third lines; but the MEANING was preserved intact.
 
Some of us have recently experienced writer's block in the course of writing prose fiction. So it's time for a suggestion: if a plotline is deadlocked--switch to a subplot.

Imagine, for example, that you are writing a novel about a sister and brother who have both graduated medical school, and are starting internships at two different hospitals. Imagine that you have set out to focus on the sister for more of the time than on the brother. Now, suppose that you are developing a conflict between the sister and a hospital administrator; the situation begins in March, and you intend for it to be resolved one way or another in August. But what if, having taken events as far as June, you simply CAN'T figure out how to carry this plot thread the rest of the way?

It might help to cut away to the brother. Even if his current experiences have no bearing on his sister's difficulty, he's a character in his own right and deserves some attention. While you are making up events to happen to the brother, the corner of your brain dedicated to the sister will be "sleeping on it," and may spontaneously hit on a way to continue her plot arc. Or you might more deliberately devise a way that the brother's experiences DO end up affecting his sister's situation, thus breaking up that logjam.
 
Copperfox said:
Some of us have recently experienced writer's block in the course of writing prose fiction. So it's time for a suggestion: if a plotline is deadlocked--switch to a subplot.

Imagine, for example, that you are writing a novel about a sister and brother who have both graduated medical school, and are starting internships at two different hospitals. Imagine that you have set out to focus on the sister for more of the time than on the brother. Now, suppose that you are developing a conflict between the sister and a hospital administrator; the situation begins in March, and you intend for it to be resolved one way or another in August. But what if, having taken events as far as June, you simply CAN'T figure out how to carry this plot thread the rest of the way?

It might help to cut away to the brother. Even if his current experiences have no bearing on his sister's difficulty, he's a character in his own right and deserves some attention. While you are making up events to happen to the brother, the corner of your brain dedicated to the sister will be "sleeping on it," and may spontaneously hit on a way to continue her plot arc. Or you might more deliberately devise a way that the brother's experiences DO end up affecting his sister's situation, thus breaking up that logjam.
Click to expand...

I read this and it really helped with a story I was writing.:) Thanks!

Does anyone have any tips for how to write seriously? Everything I write comes out either funny or satirical...so funny or satirical, in fact, that I can't use any of my best sad ideas because they seem out of place!

Someone once suggested to keep two documents, one for the story itself and one for a parody of the story, to vent your silliness on the parody, so the story can come out serious. But when I try it, the parody comes out so much better than the actual story that I have to use IT as the actual story!:eek::mad::(

Help would be appreciated...
 
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One thing to keep in mind when writing a serious story is--not to overdo it. What I mean is, when you speak as the author, using the narrator's voice, don't spend a lot of words _telling_ the reader that this is a serious situation; allow the reader to _observe_ the seriousness through the imagined events.

Victor Hugo, writing the conclusion of "Les Miserables," described the burial of Jean Valjean in simple terms; he didn't go on to lecture the reader for several more pages about how people shouldn't allow a society to be so unjust and cruel and yada yada.
 
Of course. Nonetheless, the ending didn't need it. And Monsieur Hugo was writing for a readership which had more patience with being lectured than today's readers have.
 
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