The Order of the Can III

It is sad but I may be too tired to duffer right now. Caffine isn't helping maybe I just ought to go to bed and sleep. Sleep would be good. Too bad I have to wake up early tomorrow. I hate morning shifts. I hate shifts where I don't make any money. I HATE SILVERWARE. Especially Knives.
 
*sings*

*stands on head*

*falls off cliff*

*whalesplated*

*hugs cactus by accidents*

*bangs head on wall*

*is yelled at by wall*

*flattened by wall*

*swallowed smiley by accident*

*:eek:*

*cries*

*sobs*

*not having a good day*

*eats cookie*

*is poisoned by poisoned cookie*

*blames mods for it*

*gets banned*

*finds a Life*

*really having a terrible terrible day*

*goes looks forlornly at threads in which banned people cannot post*

*steals Oly's ban button which he stole from Dernlet*

*unbans self*

*posts*

*is swallowed by blackhole*

*meets Waldo army*

*faints*

*meets Dr. Rable-Lloonie*

*finally, something nice*

*is told that self is not a duffer*

*horrors of horrors!*

*dies*

The End

*comes back to life*

*finds that Rable-Lloonie was cactus in disguise*

*pushes cactus off cliff*

*falls off cliff*

*oh no not again!*

*hit by bop*

*whalesplatted by whale*

*is careful not to say "not again"*

*eaten by GG*

*sighs*

*coughs*

*is shot by mafia*

*is confused*

*confuses people*

*hopes that this post is giving some people headaches*

*feels better*

*drink coffee*

*minds is controlled by Lieke*

*falls of cliff*
 
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as you see, this duffel from 2O09 demonstrates the perfection of the genre by the classic triple structure: duffer tries to express its dufferness in inappropriate terms, fails to the point of utter destruction, then meets an emblem of true and unsullied dufferness, in this case prof. dr. dipl. o. rable-llonie, and finally frees herself by cutting loose from all idols and eating cheese.
 
Behold what happens when you have too much time on your hands...

Original Glorious Food said:
P.1
There were ten\ brave young adventurers\ who liked to\ puff weed pipes\ until they get\ to the forbidden\ gate that leads\ down the alley\ of darkness. When\
P.2
all of the\ birds up in \the weeping willow\ tree, fall over\ three of the\ blue mules were\ running round the\ ripe red raspberry\ when one of\ the fat sheep\
P.3
threw up on\ a boy's face\ who was sitting\ by a sheep\ who was singing\ off key. Fortunately\ the boy had\ only one ear\ and could not\ understand the sheep\
P.4
until he could\ get a new\ ear, that luckily\ it wasn't very\ new, so he\ asked the sheep\ about the cult\ which, at the\ grand poo-bah earlier\ was still under\
P.5
a massive rock\ where they adventurers\ were happily puffing\ up the hill\ and when they\ got to the\ top they all\ enjoyed a big\ juicy and delicious\ turnip flavored pie,\
P.6
that made them\ drowsy with contentment\ so they fell\ off a cliff\ Into the King's\ bowl of jalapeños\ which were so\ so very scary\ And smelled\ like the elephants\
P.7
alot and a lot\ until they all\ fell down dead\ with their noses\ in the pie\ which was turning\ into apple flavored\ pie that was\ turning into pudding\ in a vat of\
P.8
water. So they\ decided to jump\ into the vat\ which turned out\ to be full\ of boiling\ hot custard, so\ there you\ will find the\ big pot of\
P.9
boiling hot water\ so go away\ from the pot\ and try not\ to go back\ into the pot\ go up the\ hill instead. There\ you will fall\ into a pit\
P.10
[Dernhelm] where you will (black, how did you know it was a pit I was thinking of. Really, I was!)]\[BC] (i am sicotic i mean hipontic)\ [Dernhelm] find a dragon (Huh!) \ who will tell\ you what to\ eat the ham\ [Dernhelm] "I will not!"\ but you must,\ because if you\ do not, you\
P.11
will die forever \ [Ithilien] again and again\[BC] and again and\ [Ithilien] again and again\ [BC] and again and\ [Dead Rain] then will finally\ run away to\ a cool place \where the cows\ eat trees instead\
P.12
of grass. However\ the cow where\ Brad Pitt and\ BC where were\[Dernhelm] making no sense\ [BC] i know it\ will never be\ the same again\ and again and\[Ithilien] again and again (sorry, I just had to do that!)\
P.13
[BC] and again and\ [Smog] to, too, two?\ [BC] and again and\ [Dead Rain] never again did\ [BC] they go again\ [BC] and again and\ [BC] again and again\ [BC] and again and\ [Dead Rain] because if they\[BC] did not stop\
P.14
[BC] they would die\[Dernhelm] because Black Cloak\ [BC] is so hot\[Dernhelm] so she'd burn (have you got something against me?)\ like a volcano\[Smog] "Burn, satan Burn" (sorry injoke) \ the volcano cried\ [BC] wait i burned\ up completely. So\ there is nothing\
P.15
in that place\ [BC] where i used\ to be hot\ [BC] again and again\ [Ithilien] and again and\ [BC] again and again\ [BC] and again and\ [Goldenrod22] they see thieves.\ that are silly\ cuz they ate\
P.16
stolen pear pie\ with lethal custard\ in the mix.\ such glorious food!\ So they ate\ too much of\ the food so\ they flew into\ a huge cloud\ inhabited by a\
P.17
grain of sand\ who was lonely\ and very fat.\ This little grain\ of sand thought...\ how wonderful life\ would be if only...\ you're in love\ [Smog] Burn, Satan burn\ then the seed\
P.18
said to the\ Big wide tree\ that was extremely...\ un-healthy "are you...\ a seed too?\ No, I'm fat \ big ugly idiot"\ And i hate...\ to look at\ food and water\
P.19
cuz they make\ me so mad \ [Smog] ...Burn, satan burn...\ and will go...\ to many lengths\ to find much\ ...fire, because they...\[The Prince] Live where there is (Sorry four words)\ ...water. "Will you..."\ go to the...\
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Original Glorious Food said:
P.20
fire with me\ ?" "No, because you...\ [Dernhelm] are very bad!" (Sorry, I just couln'd resist!)\ And do not...\ like to wash...\ ...your hands but...\ your face is\ Kind'a' ugly because\ it's very dirty!\ [Smog] "I like cheese"\
P.21
[BC] cheese is not ugly\ Suddenly Donald Trump\ said to the cheese\ "You are fired"...\ and the cheese\ Said to trump "...\[BC] u are a (10 hingy)\ [Dernhelm] Trump'n Jump'n turnip! ("hingy"?! LOL)\ And that's why\ you hired cheese\
P.22
However, you're hired\[Dernhelm] if you wish (Huh?)\ [Smog] Donald wakes up. (We needed to get off that whole sub-plot)\ What a dream!\ Probably caused by\ eating to much\ cheese!!!! It's supposed\[Dernhelm] to be bad (ten "hingy")\ for your Cholesterol.\ Well, then the\
P.23
Cheese did it!\ [Ithilien] Sherlock Holmes said\ [WHB]"Right, my dear\ [Smog] Stop the MADNESS!!!!!\ [BC] what madness said\ the little boy.\ who became king\ of what country\ North and South\ Why did you\
P.24
ask that silly\ question you fool!!!\ But Care Bears\ scare little children\ with their bright\ polka dot eyes\ and sharp pointy\ "...claws?" "No, they..."\ do not" said\ the ugly duckling\
P.25
then the duck\ said "Marry me!"\ "What? no way\ Replied Hilter. "Why..."\ would u ask\ who was very\ fair and so\[BC] cute and muscular [(sighs sly) oops do not read this GC]\ [Ithilien] who's so muscular?\ [BC] sly he is\
P.26
Boy Thought *SMACK*!\ said to be\[BC] hot and cute (ouch not fair)\ [WHB] Unfortunately he died.\ [BC] noooooooooooooooooo he is\ [WHB] still dead! Next,\ I will go\[BC] and try to (you guys are so mean killing sly)\ discover the lost\ think that will\
P.27
[Smog] Revive Sly, there\[BC] then he will (ty smog you are my hero) \ [WHB] (ooooo try to refrain myself from putting the most obivous verb that could go there beginning with d ending in e and rhyming with pie - but I wont) go on to\[Smog] DIE! (I'm not as nice as WHB) However, if\ [WHB] (LOL!!!! ) forty camels can\ [BC] eat smog, and\ [Smog] spit me out\ [BC] and eat u\[Smog] again. ButIdidnotreallygeteatenbecauseSlyisstillalivehewa sjustsleepingsothereisnomoreneedtoeatsmog, ok. (Pretty smart, eh?)\
[BC] but the stillatesmogandhediedhehehehehe\
P.28
[WHB] Leaving that subject.....\ They went and\ [BC] ate all thefoodinthewholeforest\ Then they said\ "Yum - that was\ [BC] very good, then-all-of-the-sudden\[Smog] A big Cowboy (BC, stop that it's cheating)\ [BC] came and said\ "Hello there, Jehu!"\ "How ya doin'?'\
P.29
Ahaziah? Would you\ please come with\ me to the...\ [BC] contender to see-sly\ get beaten up!!!\ but win the\ most wooden acting\ Chair to sit\ in and be\ safe from the\
P.30
violent bloodsucking women\ who want to\ get a car...\ a pink car\ a pink cadillac\ convertable and drive\ downtown where the\ hot chicks are\ selling ice cream\ and hot dogs\
P.31
"This is scary..."\ said sly's little\ muscles, because they\ are really grosed-out\ and require popping.\ [Smog] *pop, pop, pop*\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [Smog] Pop, pop, pop...\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [Ithilien] "Stop pop popping!"\
P.32
[BC] pop pop pop\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [Smog] The muscles went...\ [Ithilien] on amusing themselves\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [Ithilien] "I give up!"\ A little doggie\ said to the\ muscles 'Stop popping,\ or else i\ take over the\ [BC] pop pop pop\[Thanatos] what's with all\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [Ithilien] must stop thee!"\ [WHB] Popping's now illegal!!!!!!!!\ [Thanatos] Hooray, they yelled\ [BC] the pop pop\ [BC] pop pop pop pop\[Thanatos] This is insane!!!!!\
P.34
[Smog] Pop? (Sorry couldn't help myself)\ I see you!!!\ said the duke\ after his bath\ He ate some\ duck paté with\ [BC] pop pop popcorn\ [BC] pop pop pop\[Thanatos] How much longer\ will the he-man\
P.35
[Thanatos] will say POP\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [HB] <quote=BC> pop pop pop <\quote> for heaven's sake\[HB] Stop Saying Pop\[HB] POP POP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its\[HB] really really really\[HB] ANNOYING ANNOYING ANNOYING (that was from Ithilien she promised itself she wouldn't touch the comp til her hmwk is done)\ [Ithilien] (hey! HERself!) cried the little\ [BC] pop pop pop\[Thanatos] enough with POP!!!!\
P.36
[BC] ok hop hop hop\[Thanatos]( saracasm) So much better\ this is now\ the time of\ [Smog] Hopping and Popping!\ [Dernhelm] also of Stopping\ [BC] pop pop pop\ [Smog] Sly died today...\ [WHB] and everyone partied!!!\ [Smog] W()()t, W()()t, W()()t!!!\
P.37
[BC] No He Did Not\ [Smog] (Yes he did) After the party\ he went to\ his favourite igloo\ to find the\ Water of Life\ But he was\ stopped by a\ no-necked pigeon.\ That didn't have\
P.38
any yellow feet\ to kill the\ [BC] evil somg who\ [Smog] Is so Handsome.\[crjr9833] And who has also got a parakeet up his sleeve...\ [HB] (ps, cr that was more then 3 words. even dancers can count to 8) so he can\ [Ithilien] (oh yeah? musicians can count in 32nds!) enter into heaven\ but before he\ [HB] squished Itilian he\ [WHHB] dressed in lady's (Hey Ithilien - if your piece is in 12\4, then you could count in............ 48ths!!!)\
P.39
Nothing! Furthermore, Smog\ [crjr9833] (Sorry!! I wasn't paying attention to the rules.)\ [Ithilien] so Holyboy shall pay (holyboy isn't technically a word so it doesn't count, right?) (hey, waterhogboy, ever try 64ths?!)\ the price for\ [HB] (Now your just flat out cheating to ridicule(sp?) me!) His stylish clothes\ that were ugly\ [HB] (how can stylish clothes be ugly?? I know some of us are writers, and oxymorons are good but this is ridiculous) On Ithillian, who\ [Smog] ( Stylish clothes can be very ugly, especially the "low rise" jeans on fat people. AHHH!) had to run\ cos she'd stolen\ the rubber ducky\
P.40
of the Knights...\ Who say "Nie"\ NO not the\ That saved the\ King Arthur's horses/coconuts\ [Smog] (am I the only one who is humming the theme of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"?) "Coconuts? Where did..." *Begins to hum theme again* ~Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun~ ~Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun~ ~dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,~ ~dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun!~...\ [Ithilien] the swallows migrate? (I love monty Python's holy grail!)\ [WHB] (I love Monty Python too!! John Cleese is class. You ever seen Fawlty Towers?) To the lands\ [Smog] of Africa where.... (I love Fawlty Towers! I watched an episode last night! "Don't mention the war!!!")\ [WHB] jungle crazy baboons (CLASSIC British TV!!)\
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*entering ten characters*
 
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