Tiff, about being told to be cheerful, I am reminded of four things, which I will give in descending order of solemnity.
1) When Janalee was called away to Heaven, people wasted no time in getting started telling me, "It's okay, because you have good MEMORIES." They made me want to thunder back through a megaphone: "You IMBECILES! The good memories only remind me of what I've LOST, which makes me feel WORSE!"
2) If you search the Book of Proverbs, you'll find a verse in there someplace that says: "He who sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who snatches off [someone else's] garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on a wound."
3) Once when Jan was still with me, we came upon a T-shirt vendor at a shopping mall, and Jan persuaded me to buy for myself a shirt that showed a grumpy-looking cat, with a caption that said, "But I _am_ smiling!"
4) There was a sign in my former workplace that said, "Daily floggings will continue until morale improves."