A Christian Life In Lyrics

Warning: Do not read this one while eating

Speaking of nutrition, here's a novelty song I almost forgot I had written. While I was in music ministry with Kevin S. Johnson, he nudged me somewhat in the direction of health-food preoccupations. This led me to write--


"The Lament of the Large Intestine"


I work night and day, but nobody thanks me, although I am putting my best in;
I'm long overdue for some recognition--I'm your overworked large intestine.
You don't speak of me; but I'm here and you need me, whether or not you admit it.
For most of your life, you've treated me badly; but if you like living, you'll quit it.

Yippee-oh, yippee-ay, I work night and day,
So let me just put one request in:
When you sit down to eat, watch out how you treat
Your hard-working large intestine.

You fill up your face with all of the wrong things, like factory sugars and starches;
Then I have to deal with all of the garbage, down here between your pelvic arches.
It might not be quite so bad if the burden were lighter, but you keep on stuffing
Enormous amounts of junk in your stomach, whose nourishment is next to nothing.

Yippee-oh, yippee-ay, I work night and day,
So let me just put one request in:
Quit decaying your teeth, and give some relief
To your weary large intestine.

Now, if you detect an extra-bad odor from your lower regions arising,
Don't just hold your nose; that might be me saying your diet could stand some revising.
Cut down on red meats, the chemicals more so; have pity on your large intestine!
You are what you eat, so try eating real food; you might also take comfrey-pepsin.

Yippee-oh, yippee-ay, I work night and day,
So let me just put one request in:
When you sit down to eat, watch out how you treat
Your hard-working large intestine....long-suffering large intestine.


(c) Joseph R. Ravitts ...as if anybody would want to steal this one!
 
EDIT: To anyone reading: Try not to notice anything sentimental which was addressed to any individuals. Just look at the song lyrics.
 
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Copperfox said:
Oh, you sweet little Amanda-Panda, you're so wonderful, it almost makes me want to cancel the G.U.G. Treaty and start fighting you with affection all over again! But you already know how much your Papa Joe appreciates you. Now I'll be able to add other songs! Bless you!
Click to expand...

hehe. I try. ^^
:dances: More songs. Yay! :]
 
At least once before on this thread, in the spirit of "Better some than none," I posted the fragments I could remember of a "lost" song of mine. Thus do I do now. In about 1975, I wrote a song titled "Long Enough," about the shortness of this life and the desire for Heaven's endless joy. Here is a fragment that I can remember--the beginning of the song, actually. For those interested in meter and rhythm, this song's melody was in 5/4 time. Note also how I used a rhyming technique Mr. Tolkien was fond of: making the _middle_ of a line rhyme with the end of the line before it.


My whole life won't be long enough to know all the friends God has given me;
I'll need all eternity for the fellowship I desire.
I know this wish could not be had if achieving it were all up to me;
Only by the Deity are these irons pulled from the fire.

The ending included the words, "Forever will be long enough, just the right amount of longevity; // Pardon me my levity, but I'm happy from knowing Christ..."
 
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Here is a lyric which dates to my days in music ministry with Kevin Johnson; I wrote these words first, then Kevin composed a tune for them. The subject is the reunion of Jacob and Esau. Common, shallow Bible teaching dismisses Esau as plainly and simply the bad guy; but he DID forgive Jacob. As I worked on this, I had in mind the comment of the Chinese Christian martyr Watchman Nee about the fact that Esau did have a legitimate grievance of sorts against Jacob: "Those whom we have wronged will always represent God for us; when we meet them, we meet God, and we are judged unless the matter is settled."



"OH, GUILTY FEAR"


North and east from Edom's mountain, Esau came a-striding,
With fighting men four hundred, up to the meeting place.
Newly come from Paddan-Aram, Jacob felt like hiding;
He had not feared the angel, yet feared his brother's face.

Oh, guilty fear, how it turns blood cold, before perfect love takes its place;
Yet there is no man who should be bold before he has met saving grace.

Esau looked and saw his brother's servants bringing cattle:
A tribute from the cheater, his victim to appease.
Esau said to them, "Fear not, I did not come for battle!
I came to see my brother, to set his heart at ease."

Oh, guilty fear --etc.

Jacob was astonished at his brother's peaceful greeting;
No longer did the firstborn regard him as a thief.
Esau hugged and kissed his brother, and they started weeping:
One with new-found affection, the other with relief.

Oh, guilty fear --etc.
 
I thought this thread was lost forever! But a deep enough dig unearthed it. After I find time to review which songs are already represented on it, I may add more from my archives.
 
Here, at last I can offer an audio link! This link was provided by Kevin Johnson, with whom I used to sing. Naturally, it is mostly about Kevin's own work, but there is some of my material there too. Note that the song about "Ivanhoe" is there; I wrote it, but Kevin sang the version you'll hear.


http://www.myspace.com/512490690
 
For my own use in character portrayal at this year's Colorado Renaissance Festival, I have written a new set of words to an old sea-chanty tune. The resultant (albeit so far untitled) song is a way for Archbishop Stephen Copperfox to make his personality known to incoming customers.

If there was X amount of evil abuse of privilege by clergymen in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance, the typical RenFest patron is prepared to believe that there was X times twenty. So I _can't_ just say, "No! The clergy was always right about everything!" And I _won't_ agree that it was always wrong about everything. So when I sing the following, I'll be staking out some kind of middle position, and giving the audience of our living theater a clue to what kind of man I am in my role.

Our great King Henry broke away from Rome,
Said we could base our church right here at home.
Don't pry into his motives for the break;
I hope now that, under God, the church is ours to make.

No Inquisitions, no one to be burned!
If I get respect, I want it to be truly earned.
I pray we get it right in the sixteenth century;
I'm not out to murder folks who don't conform to me!

I'll read the Bible in my native tongue;
Translation is a job that can be done.
The point is the content, not a mystic sound;
Like the holy Carpenter, I'll build on solid ground.

No Inquisitions, no one to be burned!
If I get respect, I want it to be truly earned.
I pray we get it right in the sixteenth century;
I'm not out to murder folks who don't conform to me!
 
Here's a song I don't seem to have included in this thread up to now. It has to do with the way some people want to remake all standards of right and wrong to suit their own subjective tastes.


"PHOBIA FUGUE"

Halfway up a New Mexico hill, can't get over how peaceful and still;
But it appears no beauty gets left alone.
Some young jerk with no sense of restraint had to bring his beloved spray paint,
Leaving his brain-dead scrawls on the ancient stone.

Oh, but excuse me, I'm forgetting: the only crime
Is not to have an empty, I mean an open mind.
I've got graffiti-phobia, all of the fault's in me;
How could I think of pushing my own morality?

Driving over an Illinois road, always worried my tires will explode
On broken glass where bottles are tossed away.
Somewhere now on the litter-piled plains, high-speed babies with beer-belly brains
Lie to themselves they're winning the game they play.

Oh, but excuse me, I'm forgetting: the only sin
Is to confront folks with the messes they wallow in.
I've got drunk-driver-phobia, I should apologize;
If someone worships liquor, I mustn't criticize.

All America's getting the word: sin is sacred now--do not disturb!
Can't interfere with anyone's private choice.
If a man wants to marry a snake, who are we to call that a mistake?
We mustn't let our phobias have a voice!

It's all so simple, when discussion can be shot dead
By saying morals are a phobia in your head.
Let's laugh those right-wing bigots right out of the marketplace,
And sing "Amazing License" instead of "Amazing Grace."

We'll make it doctrine at our great universities
That having standards is a serious brain disease;
Then, when we cast off truth, to live any old way we feel,
I've got this used car that I'll sell you--it's such a deal!
 
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Sleepy Mouse : Back in the days of the Jesus Movement, churches were _participatory!_ And meaning no offense to liturgical folks here, the participation was not _limited_ to verbatim reciting of a lectionary. Singing, likewise, was not _only_ hymns or praise choruses.

Any member of a fellowship could give a testimony on a Sunday morning; and there were _original_ songs which had a _subject_ for the people to consider. But over time, an increasing number of pastors became jealous and territorial. They decided that _nobody_ but clergy must ever be permitted to make any _original_ statement which was addressing the members directly. Any lay person on the platform was required to be _only_ participating in the _vertical_ sending of praise upward to Jesus.

Churchgoers devoted to this mentality might say to me: "What do you have _against_ worship?" To any such person, I would reply: "Exactly when did I say worship was _bad?_ Go ahead, I'll wait." But vertical praise is not the only thing we are ever allowed to do. _Exhortation_ is a spiritual gift, and nowhere in the New Testament are we told that pastors and elders have a monopoly on it.

The prophet Amos would raise an eyebrow at being told that only the clergy had a right to be heard.

I miss the old days in the previous century.
 
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