Adventures during the Golden Age in Narnia

How do you like this story?

  • I LOVE IT!!!!! It is amazing!! please write more!!!

    Votes: 11 57.9%

  • It was good..

    Votes: 5 26.3%

  • It was okaaaayyy

    Votes: 3 15.8%

  • I ABSOLUTELY hated it!!! It was awful!

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Total voters
    19
QueenLucyTheValient

QueenLucyTheValient

New member
I have decided to write a fanfic. Any comments or criticism welcome.. Here is the first chapter, hope y'all enjoy!

Chapter 1
Alana paced the floor angrily. "Why must I go to Narnia, Mother?"
"Because," her mother began, "because you could use the experience." she said carefully.
"EXPERIENCE!!!" Alana shouted angrily, "EXPERIENCE!!! THAT IS WHAT YOU THINK I NEED, WELL I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE HAD PLENTY OF EXPERIENCE!!!"
"ALANA!! Calm yourself. no amount of yelling will get you what you want. You are going and that is that. Now get packed. NOW."
Alana stormed of to her room angrily and slammed the door. Her mother sighed. "She will like it there, the kings and queens are very kind. She WiLL LiKE IT!!" she convinced herself as she left the room.
****
Alana had gotten packed and was to leave for Narnia from her parents castle in Archenland the following morning.
Alana was a selfish, prideful Archenlandish lady, the daughter of the respectable Duke Ceran and Duchess Serine of Archenlands Southern Boarder. She had long black hair and dark blue eyes. She was considered a beauty in Archenland, and did not want to loose that status in Narnia. That was only part of the problem though. She used her beauty to her advantage, she was a total flirt. She would go to huge parties and balls so she could flirt.
Her mother did not approve of this, but I do not think I know of any mother who does. She sent Alana to Narnia, partly in hopes that the Kings and Queens would straighten this out, but knowing Alana, it would only make it worse. Duchess Serine worried about her daughter. She was not turning out how a true duchess should turn out, but then again, Serine had been just that same way when she was younger, but her parents straightened it out in due time, and she certainly turned out alright.
****
Alana got up early the next morning, because she had been literally dragged out of bed by her father, and was preparing to leave with her company to Narnia. It would be a two day journey. She would stop at Anvard on the way, and then arrive at Cair Paravel the following afternoon. Little did she know it would be a longer trip then expected due to unforseen circumstances...
 
I like it so far. :) I'll wait and read a little bit more though, before I cast my vote. :) By the way, Alana is a very good name... it is one of my favorites!
 
well thanks! I will write the next chapter later, I want to make it longer and so forth.. :) better than the first chapter.. I am going to have lots of fun with this story. :p Hehehe..
 
QueenLucyTheValient said:
well thanks! I will write the next chapter later, I want to make it longer and so forth.. :) better than the first chapter.. I am going to have lots of fun with this story. :p Hehehe..
Click to expand...
Okay... having fun is always a good thing! :D I can't wait to see how Alana behaves at Cair Paravel! And I can just imagine the Pevensie's responses to her... Edmund would be like, "Throw her out!" but Lucy would be so sweet. :D
 
This is a good time for you to offer this story. What I mean is that the movies have allowed audiences to get the idea that the name "Narnia" equally means ALL of the world of the Chronicles, and the latest movie still fails to correct that. Your story will help to clarify, for the uninstructed, the fact that although Narnia was the first part of its world to contain living things, it is only one area of that world.

Any chance of having the Hermit of Archenland put in an appearance in the story? Either to give advice to Alana, or to provide Alana's parents with news of how she is doing in Narnia?
 
Copperfox said:
This is a good time for you to offer this story. What I mean is that the movies have allowed audiences to get the idea that the name "Narnia" equally means ALL of the world of the Chronicles, and the latest movie still fails to correct that. Your story will help to clarify, for the uninstructed, the fact that although Narnia was the first part of its world to contain living things, it is only one area of that world.

Any chance of having the Hermit of Archenland put in an appearance in the story? Either to give advice to Alana, or to provide Alana's parents with news of how she is doing in Narnia?
Click to expand...
That's a good idea Copperfox! :) I hope you'll consider that one, QLTV.

Yes, I think it's too bad that people think the whole world is 'Narnia'. =/
 
It is sad!! I will put some thought into adding the hermit in there. :) I prolly could do that..
Thanks Copperfox, I apreciate your comment, well, I apreciate all of your comments!!
 
Well, here is the second chapter..

Chapter 2
Queen Susan of Narnia bustled around Cair Paravel, trying to prepare for the Archenlandish lady who was coming to stay with the four Kings and Queens for several months.
"I honestly do not understand WHY Su is all in a fuss about this, this, this, this GIRL who is coming to stay with us? It is not logical! Would not our being kings and queens and living in a castle more grand and beautiful then even Anvard be enough to impress this girl?" King Edmund asked, much to the surprise of his brother, High King Peter, and his other sister, Lucy. Edmund did not talk much, and this was the longest time he had gone on for months.. Well, in spoken language anyways, he was the one who had the best handwriting of all four kings and queens, or Pevensies, which was their last name.
Well..." Peter began, "Umm, she feels it necessary?" He finished uncertainly.
"And we do not have to help, Su has the whole castle in an uproar!" Lucy laughed.
Susan then decided to walk over and try to employ her other siblings into helping her in her predicament that she had so recently dug herself into. She had finished telling all the servants what to do and came to ask help of her siblings.
"What do I do?" she asked. " I have gotten everything ready and still I feel as if I have forgotten to do something? I responded to Rabadash's letter in the way which you suggested, Ed; I am having my dress made; I have written the response to the Duke of the Western March denying his marriage proposal and I have set up our voyage to the Lone Islands and the other territories that belong to us.. What else is there to do?!?" She panicked.
Her siblings just laughed at her, and were about to say something when they were presently called to dinner.
****
The next morning, Peter woke up early in order to go ride his horse on the beach. He decided to saddle it himself, instead of having the stable-master do it. Sometimes he felt that his servants did too much of the work, and left him too little.
After saddling his horse he proceeded to ride it down to the beach, and went on a long ride. A ride on the beach always cleared his mind and calmed him down after a stressful week. He got off his horse after about twenty minutes and just sat down and thought.. He must have thought quite a long time, because he presently heard hooves pounding on the sand coming from Cair Paravel. It was Edmund.
"What is it, Ed?" Peter asked with a sigh. He hated being interrupted when deep in thought.
"It's our 'Archenlandish guest.' She is not here, and she was supposed to arrive two hours ago." Edmund replied. "Shouldn't that get you worried?"
 
"What do I do?" she asked. " I have gotten everything ready and still I feel as if I have forgotten to do something? I responded to Rabadash's letter in the way which you suggested, Ed; I am having my dress made; I have written the response to the Duke of the Western March denying his marriage proposal and I have set up our voyage to the Lone Islands and the other territories that belong to us.. What else is there to do?!?" She panicked.
Her siblings just laughed at her, and were about to say something when they were presently called to dinner.
Click to expand...

That part really made me smile. :) Very realistic, and it fits in with the other Narnia stories well. The more references to Lewis canon an author puts into their fanfiction, the more believable it is. Good job! :)
 
Back
Top