Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Screamed her head off. The noise, not surprisingly, alerted security personnel who, upon seeing King Arthur and his knights all heavily armed, albeit with medieval weaponry, immediately

(Meanwhile, the decision of King Arthur and his knights to go back in time to engage in war had been noticed by other time travellers, i.e The Master, The Rani and The Meddling Monk: all three thoroughly approved, having agenda of their own).
 
Which was a huge mistake because the granny they decided to frisk was Abuelita Paciencia, who was in London for the Olympics, having won this special trip in a cigar company's contest.

Abuelita Paciencia thought these were another bunch of bandidos from ToDos Locos (TDL) so she, once again, made good use of her checkered bag. She knocked down most of the security guards in less time than it takes a Lamborghini go from 0 to 60, and the survivors ran to tell their supervisor what had happened. The supervisor, who was very impressed with Abuelita Paciencia's skills, hired her on the spot to work undercover as the new airport's security asset.

Meanwhile, Arthur and Lancelot were sniffing the air, like wolves smelling a rabbit, when suddenly Arthur pointed at Orville and Rodenbacher and said:

"You gentlemen, there! You both smell like butter! What is the meaning of this?"
 
Orville explained: "Well, in your time, the word 'corn' -- or whatever version of that word you had in Old English -- meant ANY species of grain. But when the New World got colonized in a later century, the Europeans discovered that the natives cultivated a kind of grain with stalks and ears MUCH larger than European wheat or oats or barley. Eventually the word 'corn' came to be applied ONLY to this large kind of grain. And various forms of this large grain are often served with butter."
 
"That sounds like a bunch of wildboarwash," responded Lancelot, still sniffing in the direction of the Norman twins. "Seems to me you're hiding some popcorn in your bags, seems to me, yes. What say you?"
 
An intellectual-properties lawyer appeared alongside Mr. Mortensen and whispered, "You can't claim copyright on such a simple, common phrase."
 
"I believe the intellectual property attorney is correct, sir." Responded Lancelot.

"Brave Knight," interrupted Arthur. "And I believe you're brave since you dared talk to an obvious fellow knight that way, what is your name?"

"My name is Aragorn."

"Aragorn?" Asked Orville, who was glad the subject had changed from popcorn to intellectual property. "Isn't that Spanish for Lazy?"

"No, it is not."

"Well, I just thought it was because there's an old Spanish lady guard who told me to pick up my luggage and move faster. She said muévete aragan!"

"Well, you just heard wrong," said Aragorn, obviously annoyed. "That is not the Spanish word for lazy."

"It sure sounded like it," said Orville, doubting Aragorn's comments.

Aragorn said nothing and instead calmly unsheathed his sword, then looking at Orville and Rodenbacker said:

"Do you know what correre means?"

"No," the twins said in unison.

"It is Italian for RUN!"
 
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Seeing the stunt doubles run down the street, Aragorn made his horse reared in their direction, waved his sword in the air and yelled in the style of a psych ward orderly:

"RUNNERS! WE HAVE RUNNERS! HI HO!"

And went chasing after them.

Meanwhile, the real Orville and Rodenbacher saw their chance and ran in the opposite direction.
 
were introduced to Super Duper Man who, as usual, began talking by quoting lyrics from songs by America. This time it was Sandman.

"Ain't it foggy outside? All the planes have been grounded."

Orville and Rodenbacher looked up at the blue sky, then at their plane tickets and said:

"No, not really. We just arrived at Heathrow from Fiji. The weather is perfect."

Super Duper Man ignore them, of course, because the lyrics didn't go that way. He continued:

"Ain't the fire inside? Let's all go stand around it."

"Oh, no sir. I don't think so," said Orville, "if there's a fire anywhere, I ain't standing around it to be sure."

"Funny, I've been there, and you've been here," continued Super Duper Man, totally ignoring their responses, "and we ain't had no time to drink that beer."

"Look here, mister," Rodenbacher said this time, "I hope you mean ROOT BEER, because 'tis a family friendly forum here."

Giving the Norman twins a patronizing look, Super Duper Man continued, "cause I understand you've been running from the man that goes by the name of the Sandman."

"Actually, no. First we were trying to get away from that old Spanish lady guard, after that we ran from that lazy guy with the big sword," answered Orville. "None of them was made of sand that we could tell."

"He flies the sky like an eagle in the eye of a hurricane that's abandoned."

Rodenbacher rolled his eyes and said, "No. That would be Bat-Bat."
 
Meanwhile, a leprechaun popped out of an Irish fairy mound and noticed a very old man walking down the road. He tried to irritate the man by mimicking a screeching swingset, but unfortunately, the old man was deaf. The leprechaun was shattered by the experience and entered a midlife crisis. He considered becoming a banshee, but the other banshees voted that down on the ground that he was too short.
 
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Therefore, holding the old man personally to blame for all his troubles, the leprechaun surreptitiously followed the old man home. As the old man entered his house and prepared to kiss his wife, the leprechaun turned his hair purple. The wife, upon seeing her husband with purple hair, screamed, walloped him with her rolling pin, and said
 
The old man, unaware of his purple hair, and totally oblivious to the presence of the (now invisible) grinning leprechaun, which was taking advantage of the disagreement between husband and wife to enter the kitchen for the purpose of raiding the larder, could not understand his wife's behaviour towards him. "Wh-wh-what have I done?" he whimpered.
 
The wife drew herself up with harrumphing dignity, folded her arms and proclaimed: "You're supposed to know by magic what bothers me! If you are any less all-knowing than God Himself, that proves you're a bad husband!"
 
The Grey Eagle flew in the window, and with his telekinesis made a pie throw itself in the abrasive woman's face. Then he went back to hunting down sexy vampires, while the henpecked husband....
 
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