Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Eustace C. Scrubb said:
He decides that he doesn't want to get stuck in Batman's shadow, so he wants to be known as Catman. He is thinking that maybe his new suit should include
a utility belt that has catnip dispensers and a ball of yarn.
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Veteran cartoon hero Mighty Mouse is conflicted: should he consider Catman as a friend or a foe? He shares his doubts with Underdog.....
 
However, before the young police detective can debut as Catman, or before Mightymouse and Udnerdog can decide, angry fan boy gives the young Detective a huge stack of comic books about Nightwing, the character who Dick Grayson, the original Robin became. Attached is a letter.

"Dude, if you want to move out of Batman's shadow, become Nightwing!"
 
Things got nasty when Sister Elizabeth threw a Sheperards Pie at Brother Elias' head. He retaliated by throwing an entire batch of Amish Freindship bread at her.
 
Luckily for everyone, Bob the janitor and his mighty steed, Tumble, arrived soon after the fight broke out. With mop in hand, Bob started mopping up the mess.
 
However, Pig-Pen the Filthifier and His Doomy Legion of Doomy Doom Doom arrived on scene ( with their newest partner in crime.. Jim the guy who invented the impossible to open packaging for CD's and DVDs) and made the whole place so messy that the HEalth Inspectors had to close the area because it was so unsanitary.
 
Seeing the new possibilities for evil that the Pig-Pen gang offered, another inventor joined them: the inventor of toilet paper that refuses to tear ACROSS, but insists on tearing LENGTHWISE up the center, creating useless ribbons instead of a usable wad.
 
Also joining them was "Frank" the telemarketer, who calls you at the worst possible times, acts like he's your best friend, can barely speak English, and yet some how cannot pronounce your first or last name.
 
He wished to open a nation wide chain of Shwarma restruants and needd a grant from Stark Industries. Since Stark loved his Shwarma so much he gave it to him.
 
A very special guest arrived to one of the Shawarma restaurants: a celebrity chef called Chef Ramses of Egypt, who only came to see if the producer of the Avengers was on location. He wanted to push his new idea for a film, a so called "linguini eastern" that featured several well-dressed bandidos who used guns that shot cherry tomatoes instead of blanks. The villain of the film of course would be this clean shaven pistolero called Willie the Adult.
 
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At this pint an eleven year old girl on the roll play says:

Wats wif all dis stuff about Abengers, swarma,and draino. Isaw Abendergs. It wuz stupid and boring. Not at all like Twilight which is about love. This story should be about ME! Duh wirlds greetets pop-star whose records sold so many records that it went platiunum!
 
But, unfortunately for the eleven year old, yet fortunately for everyone else, Bob the janitor took out his squeegee and wiped away all of the terribly misspelled words that the girl had typed/said.
 
And she met the same fate as, well, every other pop-star. Had one big hit, but then faded into obscurity as soon as the teenagers found a new fad.
 
Meanwhile, Gollum came to realize just how much he really loved his unexpected house guest, Bella Swan. So Gollum got down on one knee, proposed, and she accepted. The two were wed the next day.
 
Gollum loved her very much, but one day, she found that he had left his ring on the island in the middle of the subterranean lake they called home. All she wanted to do was admire it, but he came back sooner than she had expected from hunting goblins, and found her touching his "precious". He was furious, and tried to kill her, but she put on the ring and escaped unseen. She crawled through tunnels and ran down long, narrow passages until she was hopelessly lost, when she decided to sit down and take the ring off for a moment. As she was sitting there, a goblin fell on top of her. And then a hobbit. And this was no ordinary hobbit. It was Bilbo Baggins. This was how Bilbo came to have the ring in his possession.
 
Bella got up and tried to chase after Bilbo and Gollum, very angry that her husband was leaving her. Hwoever she was squished like a bug when the Goblin king fell on her and she died. And that was the end of Bella Swan.
 
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