Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Meanwhile a race of aliens was rather fed up with the people of Earth. Since humanity began beaming TV signals into space, the aliens were now receiving reality TV. The aliens came to Earth in hopes of peacefully resolving the conflict with a very important message,

"Please! For the love of Mike! No more Kardashains! No More Survivor! No More Big Brother .No More Real Housewives. No More Toddlers and Tiarras. And please, please, please, NO MORE BRIDEZILLAS! Thank you. You have 48 standard Earth Hours to cease broadcasting these programs. "
 
Unfortunately, Hollywood didn't believe that those were actually aliens threatening us, and they were still being made filthy rich off of these programs, so they refused to stop airing them.

The 48 hrs. came and went, and the aliens were so fed up with these shows that they thought that the only way to get rid of them was to blow up the world. So they brought out the biggest nuke they had and blew up Earth.
 
Captain Obvious pointed out, " Hey, didn't you try this before?"

The aliens responded,"Maybe. If we did, you didn't listen to us."

A hypothetical politician said, "Maybe we can negotiate?"
 
Fortunately, the Robertson family of "Duck Dynasty" was praying together at the very moment when the alien weapon detonated; so the Earth was restored in the next post.
 
Curses!" said the aliens ."Foiled again. We reissue our original edict: Please! For the love of Mike! No more Kardashains! No More Survivor! No More Big Brother .No More Real Housewives. No More Toddlers and Tiarras. And please, please, please, NO MORE BRIDEZILLAS! Thank you. Now, we will be fair and give you 72 standard Earth Hours to comply. This time we will block out all your Tv signals and force you to watch something equally insipid and tedious... CSpan."
 
Doctor Who, the Peter Davison version, showed up at this point, holding a small electronic device up in the sight of the angry aliens. "I have a solution," he told them. "On Earth, persons with old-style television sets buy these adapter boxes to enable them to receive the new-format signals. Now, by that all-purpose device called 'reversing the polarity,' I'm programmming this adapter box to BLOCK television shows. Just take this back to your world, analyze it and manufacture others like it, and then you WON'T receive the programs which have irritated you. It will be as if they had never been produced."
 
"Amazing!' said the leader of the aliens. " And Earthlings built this? Perhaps once we have reverse engineered it, we can send it back to block those same programs from the Earthlings! Perhaps then they may watch more intellectually stimulating programming, or even, gasp, read a book!"
 
The Robertson family of Louisiana was all in favor of encouraging literacy. They began giving away duck calls as prizes for kids who would read a book all the way through.
 
Unforunately, Smerdyakov, the purple duck, took offense at the giving away of these duck-calls. As every time one was used, he felt a powerful urge to obey it.

(I hope that was okay)
 
Okay, good. I just wanted to make sure.
...

The Harlequin walked through a barren landscape. He wasn't sure where Columbine had gone, but he would find her.
 
Miley Cyrus noticed that a reference to actual art and actual culture was appearing in the roleplay, so she screamed in horror and ran away, determined never to come near this thread again.
 
AS she ran she fell down a giant hole, which just so happened to be the Sarlacc from the Star Wars movies. There she would be slowly digested over a period of a thousand years.
 
When Boba Fett and Jabba's guards finally managed to climb out of the Sarlacc's mouth, some pop-video producers met them. They immediately offered to give the Jabbanite swine-guards a part in a coming video, because they looked A LOT BETTER than Miley Cyrus.
 
The Gamorreans, of course, didn't speak English, only Gammoric. So when they agreed, they were surprised to find themselves being expected to sing rather than beat people up.
 
Not that it mattered... with the heavy interest people still have in Finish supergroups, the fact the Gamoreans spoke no English made them a huge hit, causing their first video to go viral.

The Gamoreans who didn't go into music got jobs at call centers for computer, cable, and cell-phone companies as well as banks.
 
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