Cheese Family
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Olórin the Wise
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Only if their name is Rumblebuffin. Or was it Bumbleruffin?
In ancient tyme--that is, the early days of the forum--all of the mods had interesting names that revealed their characters exquisitely. That is, there were nine of them. They had black avatars and names like Mordorgurl, Sauron4ever, and Morgothluver. One day Morgothluver was in the forum plotting the destruction of a particular non-mod when he met a sheep.
"Baaa," said the sheep. In Sheepish, this means "Hello, would you like to undergo a low-cost self-help program to boost your self-esteem?"
Unfortunately, Morgothluver did not speak Sheepish. Having a large ego, however, he attempted to pretend that he did by responding to the sheep. So he said, "Baaaaa," thinking that lengthening the word would show his sincerity.
Instead, he had accidentally communicated to the sheep that stampeding cacti were flying off a cliff in Wyoming and landing on top of the White House.
The sheep responded, "Ba!" [I.e., "Are you serious?"]
Morgothluver said, "Baaaaaaaaaaaa!" [Sheepish: "Note that your mother is a pig and your father is a goat, and you ought to wipe your nose more often."]
Naturally, the sheep was infuriated, and he attempted to charge Morgothluver. Having no horns, however, he only knocked Morgothluver into a lamppost. Unfortunately, it happened to be The forum lamppost (which Sushi would later destroy, but that is a side note).
Needless to say, the event imposed a deep confusion on Morgothluver's psyche, as Sheepish is a very difficult language, and most humans have proved themselves incapable of mastering it. Unfortunately for Morgothluver, his pride and confusion intertwined, and he continued attempting to speak Sheepish. He experimented with different forms: "BAAAAAA!" "Baah." "BaAahH!" Unknowingly he spoke an ancient curse on himself (translatable as "Eat mor chikin"), and he found himself on the South Beach Diet. This further damaged his psyche, and he began to go through a series of rapid username changes. He went from "Morgothluver" to "LanguageLuver" to "ShakeSpear" to "Earlymodernenglish" to "Dashingly_Linguistic_Fellow."
Considering that his avatar was still black, with a picture of the Nazgul, the former Morgothluver did not look at all "dashing," and his linguistic skills were, frankly, nonexistent. Being a mod, however, he threatened to ban anyone who questioned him and leave their shriveled minds naked to the Lidless Eye. So his appearance and abilities went unquestioned, and the non-mods shortened his name to "DLF" (Dashingly_Linguistic_Fellow was still a bit much).
But pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. The other mods became annoyed with DLF's newly intellectual persona, and especially with his name change (mods evidenced a clear preference for Mordor-related names at the time). So they took away his mod-hood, officially changed his username to "DLF," and left his shriveled mind naked to the Lidless Eye. Soon he was fit for little but eating and attacking people, so, with the intent of hiding their criminal behavior toward the former Morgothluver, they stuffed him behind the fridge in the mod lounge.
Unfortunately for the rest of the forum--sometimes he comes out.
"Baaa," said the sheep. In Sheepish, this means "Hello, would you like to undergo a low-cost self-help program to boost your self-esteem?"
Unfortunately, Morgothluver did not speak Sheepish. Having a large ego, however, he attempted to pretend that he did by responding to the sheep. So he said, "Baaaaa," thinking that lengthening the word would show his sincerity.
Instead, he had accidentally communicated to the sheep that stampeding cacti were flying off a cliff in Wyoming and landing on top of the White House.
The sheep responded, "Ba!" [I.e., "Are you serious?"]
Morgothluver said, "Baaaaaaaaaaaa!" [Sheepish: "Note that your mother is a pig and your father is a goat, and you ought to wipe your nose more often."]
Naturally, the sheep was infuriated, and he attempted to charge Morgothluver. Having no horns, however, he only knocked Morgothluver into a lamppost. Unfortunately, it happened to be The forum lamppost (which Sushi would later destroy, but that is a side note).
Needless to say, the event imposed a deep confusion on Morgothluver's psyche, as Sheepish is a very difficult language, and most humans have proved themselves incapable of mastering it. Unfortunately for Morgothluver, his pride and confusion intertwined, and he continued attempting to speak Sheepish. He experimented with different forms: "BAAAAAA!" "Baah." "BaAahH!" Unknowingly he spoke an ancient curse on himself (translatable as "Eat mor chikin"), and he found himself on the South Beach Diet. This further damaged his psyche, and he began to go through a series of rapid username changes. He went from "Morgothluver" to "LanguageLuver" to "ShakeSpear" to "Earlymodernenglish" to "Dashingly_Linguistic_Fellow."
Considering that his avatar was still black, with a picture of the Nazgul, the former Morgothluver did not look at all "dashing," and his linguistic skills were, frankly, nonexistent. Being a mod, however, he threatened to ban anyone who questioned him and leave their shriveled minds naked to the Lidless Eye. So his appearance and abilities went unquestioned, and the non-mods shortened his name to "DLF" (Dashingly_Linguistic_Fellow was still a bit much).
But pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall. The other mods became annoyed with DLF's newly intellectual persona, and especially with his name change (mods evidenced a clear preference for Mordor-related names at the time). So they took away his mod-hood, officially changed his username to "DLF," and left his shriveled mind naked to the Lidless Eye. Soon he was fit for little but eating and attacking people, so, with the intent of hiding their criminal behavior toward the former Morgothluver, they stuffed him behind the fridge in the mod lounge.
Unfortunately for the rest of the forum--sometimes he comes out.
Last edited:
Sopespian
Well-known member
Your story is amazing, Glen. 
I'm really enjoying all of this sheep stuff.
I'm really enjoying all of this sheep stuff.
This reminds me of the VeggieTales "Star of Christmas" episode, in which a French pea is playing the part of a lamb for the Christmas pageant, and has cotton balls glued on him. He keeps sneezing and saying, "I think I'm allergic to cotton balls".
I can't remember which thread it was in, but Lady of Lorien (I think) said something about having an insomnia clinic, or something like that, with all of these sheep. Have you been looking into that?