CoN:LWW Spoof (NEW)

*IOWW the Iasc*

*IOWW the Iasc*

Neglectful, but Alive
Knight of the Noble Order
Emeritus
I've been working on it for a while..and I thought I should post it here. I had fun writing it, but I have yet to finish it. So I'll just post the beginning. :D

The only thing I own is the spoof script. The Characters, events and places all belong to C. S. Lewis or Walden Media.


[Start off in the dark night sky. German planes start appearing]

Nazi Pilot 1: *In German* So after we bomb this place, do you want go get a cup of coffee?

Nazi Pilot 2: *also in German* Yeah, that sounds great!

Alarm: *goes off*

Nazi Pilot 1: Ah, man. Start dropping the bombs.

Nazi plane: *Gets hit starts falling*

Nazi pilot 2 : NO!!!!!! STEVE!!!!!

Plane: *Crashes*

Nazi Pilot 1: Alright, lets get this party started. *Drops Bombs*

Skan- EDMUND: Ooohh, pretty colors!

Mrs. Pevensie: EDMUND! Get away from the window! Peter!

Edmund: Do you have to bring him into this?

Mrs. Pevensie: Quick take him to the shelter and find your sisters while I disappear for a few minutes!

Peter: * Right, Mum! *Drags Edmund out of the house*

Susan: * gets Lucy out of bed and brings her to safety*

Edmund: Wait! I have to get a picture of dad!

Peter: STOP!

Ed: NO!

Bomb: *explodes, causing the window to shatter all over Peter and Edmund*

Peter: * drags Edmund out again and throws him into bunker*

Mrs. Pevensie: *Comforts Edmund while Peter has a spaz attack*

Peter: *gets ready for important line* Why can’t you just do as your told?

[ Train station ]

Crowd: * Is huge*

Soldiers: *walk by*

Mrs. Pevensie: *Check’s on the children before they leave* Peter, watch out for your siblings.

Peter: Yes mum.

Mrs. Pevensie: Look after them

Peter: Yes, mum.

Mrs. Pevensie: Don’t forget, even if Edmund by some chance meets a strange lady in some magical world that you still need to love him.

Peter: Yes Mu- wait what?

Mrs. Pevensie: *quickly* nothing.

Pevensie Children: *board the train*

Mrs. Pevensie: Goodbye! * Waves*

Pevensie children: *shove each other so they can wave to their Mum* Bye Mum!


Not alot, I'm still working on it. I saw some of these for Harry Potter and thought it would be fun.
 
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*Is obsessed with Will* said:
I've been working on it for a while..and I thought I should post it here. I had fun writing it, but I have yet to finish it. So I'll just post the beginning. :D

The only thing I own is the spoof script. The Characters, events and places all belong to C. S. Lewis or Walden Media.


[Start off in the dark night sky. German planes start appearing]

German Pilot 1: *In German* So after we bomb this place, do you want go get a cup of coffee?

German Pilot 2: *also in German* Yeah, that sounds great!

Alarm: *goes off*

German Pilot 1: Ah, man. Start dropping the bombs.

German plane: *Gets hit starts falling*

German pilot 2 : NO!!!!!! STEVE!!!!!

Plane: *Crashes*

German Pilot 1: Alright, lets get this party started. *Drops Bombs*

Skan- EDMUND: Ooohh, pretty colors!
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Oh that was funny! Oyyoy!



IOWW said:
Mrs. Pevensie: Quick take him to the shelter and find your sisters while I disappear for a few minutes!
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LLL

Mrs. Pevensie: *Comforts Edmund while Peter has a spaz attack*

Peter: *gets ready for important line* Why can’t you just do as your told?
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Oh you are wicked!


Mrs. Pevensie: Don’t forget, even if Edmund by some chance meets a strange lady in some magical world that you still need to love him.

Peter: Yes Mu- wait what?
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That just might be like my favorite quote ever!*is falling off chair*
 
pink-cheetah said:
ha ha ha (lol)... that's FUNNY!!!!!!!!! :D i hope you do the whole movie. btw, are you doing this thing from memory?
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lol, yep. All from memory.

But it'll probably be easier when Tuesday comes around. ^_^

Cap'n QA48 said:
LOL I liked the last part where they all shoved each other!
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lol, Well they do! I love to make things funny. And I love the movie, but so many things can be made fun of. Except, I don't think there's anyway I can make the Stone Table scene funny. So I don't quite know what I'll do with that. :eek:

DW said:
Ha, ha, *IowW*, those are so funny! You need to put more on soo, okay?
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I'm working on it now. ^_^ Shouldn't be long.
 
pink-cheetah said:
you should put something about caffeine in there.
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lol, maybe on the next part...Here's part 2. :D

Part 2

The middle of nowhere

Train: *Speeds away almost as if it never stopped in the first place*

Peter: *looks around* Well this bites.

Car: Drives down the dirt road

Pevensie children: *RUN TO CAR*

Car: *Keeps driving*

Pevensie children: Oh, man…

Edmund: Perhaps we were incorrectly labeled!

Peter: Stop trying to sound smart.

Edmund: Fine.

Horse drawn carriage: *rolls down the road and stops in front of the Children*

Scary old lady: *Is sitting in carriage*

Peter: Ms. Macready?

Ms. Macready: Yes, how did you know my name?

Peter: *shrug*

Ms. Macready: Well, get in the cart.

Pevensie’s: *Get into cart*

Lucy: What? No seatbelts?

Ms. Macready: NO TALKING! That is one of the bajillion rules you will have to follow while you live in the professors house.

Susan: Are you going to tell us them, now?

Ms. Macready: No, I shall tell you as we’re walking through the house so I can get more opportunities to yell at you.

Susan: Okay…

Group: *Walk into mansion/castle/home*

Ms. Macready: Now as I was saying…

Susan: *touches stair railing*

Ms. Macready: OMG! NO TOUGHING OF ANYTHING!!!

Edmund: Ha, ha.

Ms. Macready: NO LAUGHING!!!

Peter: Why?

Ms. Macready: NO QUESTIONING!!!! Now, of all these outrageous rules, you shall never disturb the professor or something horrible will happen!

Edmund: What are you going to do? Scold us to death?

Ms. Macready: NO MOCKING!

Lucy: * looks at the professors door* *sees shadow* *runs*


That night in Lucy and Susan’s bedroom

Peter: *is oozing teen angst*

Radio: * is talking about how bad the war is going and is making the Pevensie’s feel SOOO much better*

Susan: *Get’s a wonderful idea and turns off the radio*

Lucy: I wanna go home.

Peter: We all do, Lu. But by now it’s probably blown up into a bizillion-*Is elbowed in stomach by Susan* Uh, I mean, we all do.
Susan: Don’t worry Lu, we’ll go back soon.

Peter: Yeah, and this place is huge! We’ll have so much fun tomorrow! I guarantee it’s going to be the most sun-shiniest day ever!

Tomorrow: *Comes and is rainy*

Lucy: *looking out the window* Well, somebody sure was wrong.

Susan: cusaphongigliopatonomatus. Come on Peter! Cusaphongigliopatonomatus!

Peter: I don’t know…did you make it up?

Susan: Correct.

Edmund: Does it mean, ‘ This game really bites?’

Peter: Ohh, Burn.

Susan: *Death glare*

Lucy: We could play hide and seek!

Edmund: NO.

Peter: Okay!

Edmund: *glares*

Peter: 1...2...3...

Lucy, Edmund, and Susan: *Run and Hide*

Lucy: *runs to hide behind curtains*

Edmund: * pushes her out of the way* I was here first!

Lucy: Fine…* runs to find somewhere else*

Susan: * hides in a box*

Peter: 81...82...83...

Lucy: * opens door and finds the wardrobe*

Wardrobe: * sits there*

Lucy: *Walks into the room and closes the door*

Fly: * tries to fly through the glass window and fails*

Peter: 90...91...92...

Lucy: *Runs across room and goes into wardrobe*

Peter: 94...95...96

Lucy: * leaves the wardrobe door a little bit open and walks all the way to the back of the wardrobe* * Just kidding, the wardrobe has no back to it*

Lucy: *Discovers the lack of an end in the wardrobe and touches a tree*

Lucy: whoa…* decides to go through the tree and finds herself in a snowy place.

Lucy: Wicked.* walks throughout the land and stops at a lamp-post that just happens to be in the middle of nowhere*

Something: *Moves*

Lucy: *is startled by whatever just moved*

Something: *moves again*

Lucy: *Searches*

Something: *Comes out from the bushes and turns out to be a faun*

Faun: *Screams*

Lucy: *screams*

Faun: *hides*

Lucy * hides*

Edmund: Copycats…

Peter: Shut up! Your not in this scene!

Lucy: Walks out and picks up fauns packages.

Faun: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who are you?

Lucy: What are you?

Faun: Me? Well I’m a faun…what are you? A beardless dwarf?

Lucy: NO! I’m a girl!

Faun: Wait, wait, you’re a …human?

Lucy: No, I’m a fish…

Faun: Huh?

Lucy: Never mind. I’m human.

Faun: Oh, well then let me introduce myself. My name is Tumnus.

Lucy: I’m Lucy.

Tumnus: Well Lucy, how would it be, if you came and had tea with me?

Lucy: My mom told me not to drink tea with strangers.

Tumnus: But it isn’t everyday you get to make a new friend!

Lucy: True. * Walks arm in arm with Tumnus to his cave*
 
DeplorableWord said:
Ha, ha I love it Chelsea! It's SO funny! You have to keep it up! Is it hard?
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Not really. I mean sometimes it's hard to remember things that happened. like on the second part, I completely forgot Peter's remark about how they are having 'So much fun' playing the dictionary game. I couldn't remember it last night... :D
 
Yeah, so like....I've been seriously slacking on this for the longest time...but I have alot more now, so I'm going to post it. Finally. :D

Part 3


Lucy and Mr. Tumnus walk into his home

Tumnus: Well, here we are!

Lucy: What? A hole in the side of a mountain?

Tumnus: Don’t push it…

Lucy: *walks around Tumnus’s cave looking at all his belongings* Oh! Is this your father?

Tumnus: Yes.

Lucy: He has a nice face.

Tumnus: Yes, I’m a spitting image of him.

Lucy: You’re right, you are alike.

Tumnus: * Gets all depressed* No, actually we’re not alike at all.

Lucy: But you just sai-

Tumnus: TEA!

Lucy: *Sits down in chair in front of the fire place. Tumnus takes a seat across from her*

Tumnus: I hate this winter.

Lucy: Oh, winter isn’t all bad…

Tumnus: This winter is.

Lucy: But there’s snow, and hot cocoa, rampaging reindeer, and CHRISTMAS!

Tumnus: No, not here.

Lucy: You mean you don’t have rampaging reindeer???

Tumnus: No, we don’t have Christmas!

Lucy: Oh…well that’s upsetting, too…

Tumnus: Oh but you would have LOVED it if it were Summer.

Lucy: Really? That’s nice.

Tumnus: Oh, we Fauns would dance with the Dryad’s and Naiad’s all night long….and you know...we would never get tired!

Lucy: That’s fascinating…

Tumnus: And the music! Oh, the music! * gives Lucy a sly look* Would you like to hear some?

Lucy: Uh…sure.

Tumnus: * Gets flute that is conveniently placed besides his chair* Are you familiar with any Narnian lullaby’s?

Lucy: Um…no. I’m from another world, remember?

Tumnus: Right, well that’s good. Because this probably won’t sound anything like one.

Lucy: That’s cool.

Tumnus: * Plays flute really awful* Um…hold on. * cleans out flute* here we go… * Plays pretty music*

Lucy: *gets bored and looks at the fire*

Tumnus: *Continues to play*

Lucy: *Looks into fire and see’s a horsy looking thingy* WHOA! What was that?

Tumnus: Just keep watching! * continues flute playing*

Lucy: *Watches the fauns play tag with an elk* * Starts getting sleepy*

Tumnus: *thinking* YES YES YES!

Lucy: *falls asleep and drops her cup*

Tumnus: *while playing flute, looks into the fire and see’s Aslan trying to attack him in fire form* * gets frightened*

Light: *disappears*

Tumnus: * gives a look of, ‘ I am in sooo much trouble..*


A long enough time later that it is dark.

Lucy: *Wakes up* I really have to go now.

Tumnus: It’s too late now.

Lucy: Well, I can see that! That’s why I am leaving!

Tumnus: I’m such a terrible faun!

Lucy: Well…you could have woken me up...but that doesn’t make you bad, Mr. Tumnus!

Tumnus: No, it’s not what I’ve done Lucy Pevensie…it’s what I’m doing right now.

Lucy: You‘re a bad faun for lying in the fetal position? Wait…am I being Punk’d?

Tumnus; What? No no, I’m kidnapping you!

Lucy: But why?

Tumnus: This evil lady, the White witch! She told us all that if we found a human we were to turn them over to her!

Lucy: But you wouldn’t! I thought you were my friend! We had TEA!

Tumnus: Your right! * grabs Lucy* We have to get you out of here!

Lucy & Tumnus: * Run through the forest*

Tumnus: We must hurry! The witch has spies! Birds, leaves, rocks! Even some trees are on her side!

Oak Tree: Oh no! We’ve been discovered! Run Birch!

Tumnus: Okay Lucy, can you get back from here?

Lucy: Yeah, I think so!

Tumnus: *breaks down crying*

Lucy: Hey, hey…come on. It’s okay…you tried to kidnap me and give me to some lady in white…but it’s okay!

Tumnus: Oh thank you! No matter what happens Lucy I am glad to have met you!

Lucy: Same here!

Tumnus: *tries to give Lucy back her handkerchief*

Lucy: No, you keep it. Your more of a mess than I am.

Tumnus: Okay.

Lucy: *Runs back through the wardrobe*

Tumnus: *walks back to his house*
 
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Part 4

Lucy comes back through the wardrobe

Peter: 97...98...99...

Lucy: *Runs out of the room* I’m back I’m back I’m alright!

Edmund: Shut up! He’s coming! And I obviously lack the ability to just hide behind the curtains again!

Peter: * Finds both of them* I don’t think you guys get this game…

Edmund: Blame her! * Points to Lucy*

Lucy: Didn’t you all wonder where I was?

Peter: Um...that’s kind of the point of the game Lu…You hide, I seek-

Lucy: But I’ve been gone for hours!

Peter: More like 100 seconds…

Susan: * appears* So does this mean I win?

Lucy: But I went somewhere! Somewhere magical! It was snowing and I met a faun named Mr. Tumnus and-

Susan; Lucy what are you talking about?

Lucy: Come on, I’ll show you! * runs and drags them into the wardrobe room*

In the wardrobe room

Susan: *Opens the wardrobe and knocks on the back of the wardrobe*

Edmund: *Goes behind wardrobe and knocks on that wood too*

Susan: It’s solid Lucy, I don’t think your really went there.

Lucy: But I did! And Tumnus kidnapped me but brought me back through!

Peter: But lu- wait…he KIDNAPPED YOU?

Lucy: Never mind! It was there!

Edmund: Well I believe you!

Lucy: *Would first believe a pig could fly* You…do?

Edmund: Yeah! Haven’t I told you guys about the football field in the bathroom cupboard?

Peter: Would you just stop!

Edmund: * looks innocent* What?

Peter: You just have to make everything worse, don’t you?

Edmund: It was a JOKE. Do you have no sense of humor?

Peter: When are you going to learn to grow up?

Edmund: * spaz attack* SHUT UP! STOP TRYING TO BE DAD! * runs away*

Susan: Well, that went well! *storms off*

Lucy: But it really was there!

Peter: That’s enough Lucy…

That Night

Lucy: *sneaks out of bed and goes to the wardrobe*

Edmund: * comes out of the bathroom and spots her* heh, heh…time to wreak havoc on my little sisters imagination…

Lucy: *Opens the wardrobe door and her candle gets blown out* YES! * Goes in*

Edmund: Lucy! Come here! * goes into the wardrobe* hope you aren’t afraid of the dark! * shuts the door*

Wardrobe: * Is still light*

Edmund: What the- * Goes deeper into the wardrobe and finds Narnia* Lucy, I MAY believe you now…I’m not sure yet…* trips into the snow* Just kidding, I believe you.

Bells: *jingle*

Edmund: Hello?

Sleigh driven by rampaging reindeer: *comes speeding towards him*

Edmund: *Jumps out of the way*

Little furry thing: *Jumps off the sled and comes after Edmund*

Edmund: *tries to run*

The now evident dwarf: *tackles Edmund* skdjfaskjenco aosihhr dofjuhskj iosisi sihfk!

Edmund: What??

Dwarf: ajlsh klajhd lahlskeo opcjsnlrisn!

Edmund: I’m sorry, I can’t understand…

Dwarf: * sighs, stands up and clears throat* How dare you not bow before Jadis the Queen of Narnia!

Edmund: But I didn’t know!

Dwarf: Tkajs kalom akjhd!

Edmund: What???

Dwarf: Tough luck kid! * Goes to stab Edmund*

Voice: Ginnabrrik!

Ginnabrikk: Yes, your majesty?

Your majesty: Hold on a second…* her majesty steps out from her carriage*

Edmund: Wait, I can’t see her she blends in!

Jadis: Hello, child.

Edmund: Oh, hi!

Jadis: What are you doing here?

Edmund: Beats me…I just followed my sister.

Jadis: Your sister?

Edmund: Yeah, she said she came here a while ago and met up with this faun named Tumnus…we didn’t believe her, but I think I do now.

Jadis: OH, I’m sorry, come here child, you look so cold.

Edmund: *completely disregarding the ‘don’t-get-into-sleds-with-strangers’ rule* Okay.

Jadis and Edmund: * sit in sled*

Jadis: Would you like something hot to drink?

Edmund: * Completely disregarding the ’Don’t-take-drinks-from-strangers’ rule but remembers his manners* Yes, please.

Jadis: *drops a bit of liquid in the snow and hot drink appears*

Edmund: WHOA.

Jadis: Here you go.

Edmund: Thank you! * drinks*

Jadis; Would you like anything else?

Edmund: * ponders* yes, I’d like 2 big-mac’s, 3 orders of fries, a milkshake, some Turkish delight-

Jadis: Turkish Delight! I can do that! * does the drop thing again and Turkish delight appears*

Edmund: *once again, breaking a stranger rule* Yummy. * eats Turkish delight*

Jadis: Now, I’ve been looking for somebody to help me take ov- I mean, help me rule Narnia with, and since I have no children *gets depressed* ...or a husband…or a nephew…or even a pet hamster…I think you should be the new King!

Edmund: *inside* FINALLY! SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS ME! * outside* Sounds cool.

Jadis: Of course you’d have to bring your family.

Edmund: What? Peter gets to be King too? No way!

Jadis: No, no! Of course not! Every king needs servants dear one!

Edmund: * inside* Muahahahaha! * Outside* okay.

Jadis: Until then my dear Edmund…

Edmund: Okay…can I have some more Turkish Delight?

Jadis: * evil voice* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Edmund: *is perplexed*

Jadis: I mean…we don’t want to spoil your appetite now…I’ll see you soon, Edmund. * leaves*

Lucy: EDMUND?* comes from nowhere and hugs Edmund*

Edmund: Get off me…

Lucy: Oh you made it through that’s wonderful! Now Susan and Peter have to believe us!

Edmund: Right…where were you?

Lucy: With Mr. Tumnus. He’s alright! The White Witch hasn’t found out of him helping me! And of course there’s no way YOU could have told her.

Edmund: The White Witch?

Lucy: Yeah, she’s very evil, and always wear’s white.

Edmund: *gulp*

Lucy: Edmund, you look so cold…

Edmund: *sarcasm* Really? It feels so hot…

Lucy: I s’pose we should be getting back.

Edmund: Yes, let’s go.
 
office said:
Rofl.
10 thingy.
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lol, glad to see at least one person likes it.

Part 5

Lucy: *runs into Peter’s room and dive bombs Peter while he is sleeping* PETER! PETER! WAKE UP!

Peter: * moans* What is it Lu…I’m trying to sleep…

Lucy: It’s real! Narnia!

Susan: *appears from nowhere* Lucy, you must have been dreaming. I mean, it is the middle of the night.

Lucy: But this time EDMUND CAME!

Susan & Peter: *look at Edmund*

Edmund: Um…well, I was just playing along…

Lucy: *in shock*

Edmund: Some little kids just don’t know when to grow up…

Lucy: YOU LIAR!!!! * runs out crying*

Susan: Lucy…*chases after her*

Peter: *follows Susan and shoves Edmund*

Edmund: Hey!

Lucy: *crying*

Susan & Peter: *still chasing Lucy*

Lucy: * stops in front of the recently appearing professor* *issues hug*

Peter & Susan: *round corner to find Lucy hugging professor Kirke*

Peter: *in awe* So that’s what he looks like…

Macready: YOU KIDS! I’M GOING TO HANG YOU BY YOUR FEET IN THE BARN UNTIL YOUR FACES TURN SO RED- Professor! I didn’t uh…see you!

Professor: It’s alright, it’s alright…just remind me to hide the barn key…

Macready: They know they are not to disturb you…

Professor: We’ll discuss this tomorrow. However I think this little one needs a drink-

Macready: * looks shocked*

Professor: Hot chocolate! Gosh, I’m not that bad of a guy!

Macready: Yes, sir. * takes Lucy down stairs*

Peter: Maybe if we’re quiet…he won’t see us * sneaks away*

Professor: And where do you think your going?

Peter: Darn it…

Professor, Susan, and Peter: * go to Professor Kirke’s office*

Professor: It seems you all have really ticked off my house keeper.

Peter: I’m sorry sir.

Professor: I think it is really her you should say sorry to…she hasn’t threatened to torture anyone since the war started…

Peter: It won’t happen again-

Susan: It’s our sister professor.

Professor: The weeping girl?

Susan: Yep. She’s been very upset…

Professor: Hence the weeping.

Peter: It’s the wardrobe…she thinks she’s found a forest inside!

Professor: WHAT?

Susan: I know, it’s insane…

Professor: Well, what was it like?

Susan: Like talking to a lunatic…

Professor: No no, not that, the forest! What did she say it was like?

Peter: You believe her?

Professor: And you don’t?

Susan: Well of course not! It’s totally un-logical!

Peter: And besides! Edmund said he was just playing with her!

Professor: And Edmund is the one who tells the truth the most?

Peter: Well…actually we have a better chance of a duck singing jingle bells with a cow…

Professor: Well then obviously she’s telling the truth! Now go! I must smoke my pipe…

Peter & Susan: Good-bye, then.


The next day, outside on the front lawn.

Edmund: *is staring off into space*

Peter: heh heh…* throws ball at Edmund* Think fast!

Edmund: * gets hit* HEY! OWIE!

Peter: Sorry, it slipped.

Edmund: Just throw the ball…* Edmund gets in Barry bonds stance to hit the ball*

Peter: * throws ball*

Edmund: *Swings late and sends the ball through a pretty glass window*

Susan: *gasp*

Lucy: *Gasp*

Peter: AWESOME! Uh- I mean *gasp*

Macready’s ‘children are gonna be in trouble’ sense: * tingles*

Pevensie’s: *run into the house and find a suit of armor mangled on the floor*

Peter: Well, nice going, hot shot.

Macready: * is coming*

Peter: RUN!

Everybody: *runs*

Edmund: *leads everybody into the wardrobe room*

Susan: You’ve got to be kidding me…

Peter: There’s no where else! I don’t know about you, but I really don’t feel like being hung by my toes in the barn.

Susan: FINE!

Pevensie’s: *Go into Wardrobe*
 
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