Duffer Boot Camp!
- Thread starter ~TheCaptain~
- Start date
What about the other end of the name? We could call her Les.
Miss Freckles
New member
You just try that.
*searches room for pointy objects*
*finds sorting hat*
It'll do.
*searches room for pointy objects*
*finds sorting hat*
It'll do.
WarriorSatyr
Member
Ooh! Ooh! Sort me! Sort me!
WarriorSatyr
Member
Hmm. That's fine with me.
Les, are you planning on impaling me with the sorting hat? Because I don't see that working. Unless you pull the sword of Gryffindor out. But I bet the sword of Gryffindor likes me, I recruit for Gryffindor all the time.
Miss Freckles
New member
That's not my name.
Speedy Gonzales said:
I like to play my cards close at this point.
Gorgonzola said:
There are some simple exercises you can try to improve your imagination, or eyesight.
Gongon said:
Yes, but the Hat hates you, because you stole his job. And he is rushing through his undergrad in Impa- Well, never mind. He's studying, quiet in the hallway.
What kind of house do you care about?
The hat and I are best friends. That's why I help him with his job.
Miss Freckles
New member
Do you have any other common interests apart from recruiting Gryffindors?
Miss Freckles
New member
*narrows eyes suspiciously*
So... The book or the movie?
So... The book or the movie?
Sopespian
Well-known member
But... not off of Cliff, right?
Miss Freckles
New member
Well... I guess when you put it that way, I don't need to ask...!?
But push me off the cliff anyway; let's not keep the tourists waiting. I remember the good old days when they used to be traumatized by seeing someone unexpectedly hurled off the cliff and rushing towards the ground, followed by a large whale-shaped shadow. Now they come to see the "cliff where people and other flora and fauna rain down all the time." They actually get miffed if they come all this way and don't get to see anyone flattened into a pancake on the ground. Sad. Well I blame video games.
No, you don't need to ask. And now that I know tourists are waiting, there's no way I would throw you. I want them to suffer. Actually, however, they will probably all be playing games on their phones and may not be paying any attention to the cliff at all.
Miss Freckles
New member
Oh Glen. Are you like that in real life?
Person: *enters library* Excuse me, miss, where can I find "Some Book" by A. U. Thor?
Glen: "Oh, that's easy. Take the stairs, go to the 7th floor, turn right, then left, then right, then right again - no wait, make that left - then left, then walk through the aisle until your claustrophobia causes you to foam at the mouth, then climb the ladder, crawl over the roof, try not to get struck by lightning, reach down - avoid the poisonous snake - and tap lightly on the spine of the book, one, two, three, sixty-three, like that. And remove the book."
(75 min. later)
Person: *returning* Sorry, miss, I looked for the book where you said, but it wasn't there.
Glen: "I know, but I wanted you to suffer. Actually, I've got it here under the counter."
Person: "And do you have some antiseptic for this snake bite?"
Glen: "No. It's just for the staff, I'm not allowed to give you any."
Person: "I don't like you anymore."
Person: *enters library* Excuse me, miss, where can I find "Some Book" by A. U. Thor?
Glen: "Oh, that's easy. Take the stairs, go to the 7th floor, turn right, then left, then right, then right again - no wait, make that left - then left, then walk through the aisle until your claustrophobia causes you to foam at the mouth, then climb the ladder, crawl over the roof, try not to get struck by lightning, reach down - avoid the poisonous snake - and tap lightly on the spine of the book, one, two, three, sixty-three, like that. And remove the book."
(75 min. later)
Person: *returning* Sorry, miss, I looked for the book where you said, but it wasn't there.
Glen: "I know, but I wanted you to suffer. Actually, I've got it here under the counter."
Person: "And do you have some antiseptic for this snake bite?"
Glen: "No. It's just for the staff, I'm not allowed to give you any."
Person: "I don't like you anymore."
I also recruit the odd Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw here and there so Gryffindor doesn't get too crowded and it doesn't look like I'm showing favoritism. And I do mean "odd" literally.
Unfortunately our library only has three floors, and I'm on the top one. Getting people lost on purpose isn't easy around here.
And maybe the snakebite thing should be approached the way Confucius approached the topic of whether to help a man who has fallen into a well. Someone who ends up in a well couldn't have been doing anything particularly virtuous to start with, so it isn't virtuous to pull him out. Someone dumb enough to get bitten by a snake obviously deserved it, so I should not give them antiseptic.