Fan-Fic, a different side of the heroes of Narnia

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“I wouldn’t know,” Cara said, “I don’t know how to dance.” Ed grinned, “then I’ll teach you, stand up.” Cara stood up, she stuck the rose in her hair. Ed smiled, “put your right hand in mine,” Cara cautiously placed her hand in his. Ed smiled, “good, not put your other hand on my shoulder.” She did as she was told. Cara could feel him put his hand on her back. “Ok, now just follow my lead.” It took Cara a few minutes to get the hang of if, but then she danced perfectly.​
Cara and Ed had been dancing in the garden for a little while when suddenly the rose bushes faded into marble pillars, the grass changed to a wood floor, and the sky disappeared. They were in a ballroom. Cara looked around, the ballroom was empty. She saw a huge mirror on the wall. She looked into it. She didn’t see herself dancing with Edmund. She saw the queen that had been in the hall, that had died, and a man, dancing. Cara let go of Ed’s hand. The ballroom disappeared; she was back in the garden. She felt sick. “Are you alright?” Ed asked. Cara nodded, something was wrong with her, and she didn’t know what.​
Ed watched her, he knew she wasn’t alright. He looked up, a rain drop hit his face, he glanced at Cara. She was standing still, with her eyes closed as rain drops hit her face. He smiled, it started to rain harder. They were socked in a matter of minutes. Cara opened her eyes, “I guess we should go inside.” She had water running down her face. Ed nodded; she looked even more beautiful when wet, if that was possible. He took her arm and quickly walked inside, dripping water all over the floor and the decorations.​
Peter opened his eyes, the rain was pouring down. He stood up and walked as fast as he could to the door, he pulled it opened and walked into the hall. He stumbled to the end of the hall. He pushed the wall open and fall into his room. A pair of strong arms caught him. Peter blinked, it was King Lune. “King Lune,” Peter said as he stood up and closed the door in the wall. “Peter, its good to see you again.” Peter nodded; he grabbed a towel off his bed and tried to dry his clothes. “Have a seat,” Peter said; he sat down behind his desk. King Lune sat down in a chair facing Peter. “I got your letter,” Lune said, “why are you so interested in something that happened seventeen years ago?” Peter looked out the window, “I think I found a survivor.”​
 
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Ed and Cara looked at each other, they were both soaked. “We better change,” Ed said. Cara nodded. Her clothes clung to her as she walked down the hall, following Ed. They stopped; Ed opened a door to a room Cara had never been in before. She followed him in. She looked around, there were clothes hanging up. Ed smiled, “this is where Peter and I keep our comfortable clothes.” He looked at Cara, “we where these clothes riding.” He walked over a chest and got a black shirt and black paint and a red belt. He handed them to Cara, “you can change in there,” he said pointing to a door on the far wall. Cara nodded and walked over to the door; she opened it and stepped into a small simple room. She closed the door behind her.​
Ed quickly changed his shirt and combed his hair. He looked out the window, the rain had stopped and the sun was coming out. He heard a door open behind him, he turned, Cara was standing in the door way.​
 
I agree that the line: "I think I found a survivor" would be so good in a movie! this is really interesting. If you don't mind me saying so :eek: I think this story would even be better if it wasn't fan fiction. I think you have a really great thing going for you here and I think it would be good if you weren't tied down by the bowndries that Lewis already set. I know that is rich comming from someone who has been working on a fan fic for nearly two years but I thought I would say that anyway. I like the story and I can't wait to see what happens next :D
 
~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
I agree that the line: "I think I found a survivor" would be so good in a movie! this is really interesting. If you don't mind me saying so :eek: I think this story would even be better if it wasn't fan fiction. I think you have a really great thing going for you here and I think it would be good if you weren't tied down by the bowndries that Lewis already set. I know that is rich comming from someone who has been working on a fan fic for nearly two years but I thought I would say that anyway. I like the story and I can't wait to see what happens next :D
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I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean like not having Aslan or anyone from Narnia and just making it all up?
I'm writing a novel that is fiction that isn't a fan-fic its all orignal. :)
redlady20 said:
That's it?!?!? I want mooooreee!! It's amazing.

P.S. I really love your banner and avvy :)
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Thanks!

Here's more



Cara grinned sheepishly, “the clothes are a little big.” Ed laughed, “they should be, they’re mine.” He stared at her for a moment; there was something about her, something almost magical. Ed looked away, blushing, “come on.” He walked to the door, Cara followed him. Ed opened the door and froze. Susan was standing there, her eyes widened when she saw Cara.​
Lune looked down at his hands, “Peter, there were no survivors,” Lune said sadly. Peter stared at him, “but there has to be,” he insisted. Lune shook his head sadly, “I was passing though the aria the day after it happened, I saw the bodies Peter, everyone in the town was dead.” He looked away, a far off look in his eyes, “we searched two days for survivors. No one was alive, there is no way anyone survived.” Peter looked down, “I understand,” he said quietly. “Did you ever see the Queen’s baby?” Lune smiled, “yes, she was a beautiful baby,” his smiled disappeared, “her body was never found.” “We hoped that somehow she had gotten away," he looked at Peter, “a few days after the massacre a telmarine man and woman were found with a baby basket.” He looked out the window, “they were suppose to carry the baby to safety, but there were killed first. We never found the baby.” Peter stood up, “then it is possible she’s still alive.” Lune nodded, “possible, but very unlikely.”​
 
oxford girl said:
I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean like not having Aslan or anyone from Narnia and just making it all up?
I'm writing a novel that is fiction that isn't a fan-fic its all orignal. :)
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don't get me wrong I love your stuff and I do think it is original...very much so. what I was trying to say is I think it is good enough to stand on it's own two feet as a work of fiction that has no ties to Lewis. that was all I was trying to say. it is very good and I love the new addition :D
 
~Grateful * Surrender~ said:
don't get me wrong I love your stuff and I do think it is original...very much so. what I was trying to say is I think it is good enough to stand on it's own two feet as a work of fiction that has no ties to Lewis. that was all I was trying to say. it is very good and I love the new addition :D
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Oh! Ok. I get it now. Thanks. I honastly didn't think it was that good. :eek: After I finish it I was thinking of re-writing it and changing it so its not a fan-fic.
 
Here's more, sorry it took so long. :eek:


Susan didn’t say anything for a moment. “Ed the guests are going to be arriving soon, you need to change.” Ed nodded, “alright.” Susan looked at Cara, “you can come with me, I have your dress.”Cara glanced at Ed, “ok.” Ed smiled, “I’ll see you later,” he said, then walked down the hall to his room. “Come on,” Susan said as she turned and started walking down the hall. Cara followed her, but not happily. Susan stopped in front of Cara’s room. “Your dress is on your bed and you need to be changed and down stairs within an hour.” Cara nodded, she opened her door and stepped in. “Oh and Cara,” Susan said, “my siblings and I are very close and if you hurt Ed, I will do everything in my power to make your life horrible.” She smiled sweetly, “I’ll see you later,” and with that she turned and walked away; leaving a confused Cara staring after her.​
Peter sat back down, “but it is possible and I think I’ve found her.” Lune leaned forward, “if it is her Peter, we cannot let anyone know.” Peter stared at him, “why?” Lune stood up, “because the same people that killed her parents will come after her.” He headed to the door, “now you better get ready for your ball, your sister will be very upset if you don’t look your best.” Peter rolled his eyes, “alright, I’ll see you later.” Lune chuckled and walked out. Peter stood up, he wasn’t overly happy about having to go to the ball, and he really didn’t want to wear what Susan and picked for him. He walked over to his closet and opened it. He didn’t have a very big choice of what to wear. He pulled out a dark red shirt with gold threads in it.​
Peter carefully took his shirt off, being careful not to touch his side where he had been injured. He glanced at is wound, and wished he hadn’t. He had to change the bandages again. Peter slowly took the bandages off and grabbed clean ones. His side was red and warm where the cut was. He clenched his teeth, it still hurt, but luckily he wasn’t in excruciating pain any more. He put the fresh bandages on and pulled his shirt on. He looked in mirror, he hardly recognized himself. He had dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and he was pail. He needed a break from everything, he needed to get away.​
 
“Oh and Cara,” Susan said, “my siblings and I are very close and if you hurt Ed, I will do everything in my power to make your life horrible.” She smiled sweetly, “I’ll see you later,” and with that she turned and walked away; leaving a confused Cara staring after her.

*slaps Susan* That was completely uncalled for. :mad::mad::mad:

Btw, it's great! :D
 
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