Glorious Food II (Please Don't Delete)

Lady of Lorien said:
he saw a crayon whose color was 'tear.' "Can I tear you to pieces?" he asked it? The crayon, deeply troubled, made a face :eek: and said in its strong, booming voice, "indeed, you may NOT! My name is Cran, (derived from the pronunciation of crayon, :p ) and..."
Click to expand...

"-I am the all supreme ruler of PENCILS!" Cran announced.
"But wait...that makes no sense...you're a crayon!" He argued.
"Alas, I may LOOK like a crayon, but I am actually A-" *transforms* " HEALTH INSPECTOR!"
 
"YOU'RE A WHAT?" He asked... I...don't...

"You couldn't tell?" Said Cran, mournfully. "I DO try to retain some of my dignified bearing even in my crayonly form, but I suppose..."
 
went over to Dernhelm, and poked her. "Hm?" she asked. Cran said, "In the interests of good health, it is best not to enter a state of unconsciousness when listening to the wavering sound produced by creatures in a state of happiness;"
Dernhelm yawned. "Are you, by any chance, refering to 'laughing'? If so, I advise you to call it that."
The crayon glared at her. "As I said, it is best not to enter a state of unconsciousness when listening to the wavering sound produced by creatures in a state of happiness. It can cause such undesirable side effects as disturbed brain waves, which result in...

Edit: Oops; sorry. 'Twas late. :o Still, it makes slight sence...so I'm not going to bother changing it. :p
 
(Leave it! It's hilarious!)

nausea, headaches, severe bleeding of the hangnail, loss of all hair, loss of fingernails, loss of ears, loss of socks, watery-legged-ness, and
 
diagnosis, Dernhelm yawned, and stood up. She looked at Cran for a moment, then said, "Why don't you go get yourself a Ph.D in health, and leave me alone." She turned to go...
 
, but he drew himself up to his full height (of three and a half inches) and spluttered "What are you talking about? I HAVE already got 4 different PH.D's in Health, as well as numerous related branches of studies. I'm a health inspector in the sorrowful disguise of a crayon, remember? I don't lose my degrees when I lose my proper shape and size! Honestly!" He gave a waxy scrabble, and...
 
Dernhelm turned, sighed, and said, "If you don't go and find something else to do, I'll be driven crazy. And then where'll you be? I might break you in half! Though I wouldn't be surprised if you simply thought it was an interesting case study." She snorted.

Cran...
 
snorted and took her pulse. "Do you know," he wheezed, "I do believe that you have elevated blood pressure? It must be what you eat. What do you eat? Eh? What's that?"
 
"I live on a diet of potato chips and soda, plus some CW, now and again." Dernhelm tried not to laugh as she said this.
 
"Truly?" spluttered Cran. "Well no wonder! Although this is a fascinating scientific phenomenon...I had not thought it was possible for mortal man to live on such a diet in any way! Truly amazing! Extraordinary!"
 
At this point, Dernhelm could no longer restrain her laughter. She laughed for – perhaps ten minutes. Then she gasped, 'Dr. Cran, are you really that gullible?'
She began to laugh again.

Dr. Cran looked rather taken aback, and replied...
 
Dernhelm looked at him incredulously. 'What?' she exclaimed. 'Did you say you had several Ph.D's? 'Cause I can hardly believe that. You're too....uh...shall we say, mentally incapable?'

Now, this kind of lanugage Dr. Cran could understand. He...
 
Drew himself up higher than his full height...to a full 5 inches! And splutterd more than ever. "Now SEE HERE! I do not brook personal insults from ANYONE! I shall go to the authorities, indeed I will, and they will...
 
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