"Hidden Dreamer" (my songs and poems)

WillsGirl said:
I guess... I just want another place to get my feelings out.
And I wouldn't mind some feed back. I mean... I do kind of want to know if I'm on the right trach here. I LOVE to sing but I don't have a lot of expieriance writing lyrics so... I'm just going to post some things.

I wrote this song after my family went through "The Cancer Wars"


To See Your Face

Through the window I watched it rain,
Through my tears I watched your pain.
You were there in every thought,
I was scared but you were not.

Chorus:
And I will wait 'till kingdom come,
To see your face, the way it was,
Before the rain
Before the pain
To go back in time, and just play again.

I was lost,
In the darkness there,
I counted cost,
But didn't care.
I wanted you,
to be whole again.
I missed my cue,
And fell into sin.

Chorus

Through the songs
And through the nights
Oh how long,
Without light?
I saw you change, day by day
Stuck in a cage, with nothin' to say.

Chorus

We made it through one tough year,
But not without a thousand tears.
And I have yet, to see your face,
The way it was before life changed.

Chorus

Bridge:
To go back in time, and just play again,
Like the good 'ole times, my brother friend.

Now I know, we all have changed,
And life will never be the same,
But I still wait wait, to see your face,
the wat it was,
Before Cancer came
Click to expand...

That is an awesome set of lyrics. You had me all the way up to the last line. I would change the last line about cancer. I am sure it means something personal to you, but you want to connect with a wider audience. I would keep it vague enough so others can identify it with their own story.

Keep at it. I wish i could get my thoughts out that clearly and that beautifully. As it is, i will just have to stick with being a critic. ;)
 
Someonebeatmetowunderkind said:
That is an awesome set of lyrics. You had me all the way up to the last line. I would change the last line about cancer. I am sure it means something personal to you, but you want to connect with a wider audience. I would keep it vague enough so others can identify it with their own story.

Keep at it. I wish i could get my thoughts out that clearly and that beautifully. As it is, i will just have to stick with being a critic. ;)
Click to expand...
LOL, THANK YOU! I think that is Great because my mom and I were talking about these lyrics RECENTLY, and BOTH said the same thing about that last line... I just haven't gotten around to changing the post.
Thank you for the compliments.
 
A work IN PROGRESS.....
(or at least part of it.)

I don''t know where we get,
the idea that life should be a free ride
but the quoted one must be an idiot,
'cause man, we know it just aint right.
Stop asking for free hand outs,
get up, go do a hard day's work,
Figure out what life's about,
then come back and show 'em what you're worth.
People come and People go,
Life and Death? What do we know?
Do we have enough compation, do we have enough Sympathy,
or are we just lookin' out for number one, and yeah, that'd be me.
I'm not sayin' you should always be so troubled,
I'm not sayin' life should always be so hard,
I just think we need to go the distance,
I just think we should aim far!
 
I like that one too!!
I'm telling you, it's powerful.

OH OH OH did I tell you Kate??? I finally have a song with guitar chords!! :D :D

and I think that would be a great song for you to record....

maybe we should start workign on a duet......
 
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