*looks into Crystal Ball filled with ketchup* Thou shalt be given Duffering lessons, GV, by one who comes... she is great and mighty, a Duffer of renown... and even yet she liveth in denial, for she hath refuséd to accept her Duffericity, and the days of many Duffers are consumed in posting statements to the effect that she is a Duffer of High and Mighty Dufferation. Yea, even do I speak of one Dernhelm, the Great Duffer, third only in the ranks of Duffers on this Forum. (HB and BC come first.
) And she shall teach thee, though it be contrary to her will, for that Purpose which driveth her to Duffer and yet to deny her Dufferness at the same time shall drive her again to thee, and she shall give the wondrous noble lessons. And thou shalt know when the time hath come for this when this sign doth appear in the heavens: when Derny doth acquiesce and surrender to her own Dufferness. And when this doth take place the very stars shall be shaken to their foundations, and a great wind shall sweep across the face of the earth, and blow all the 'nites into the sea, for when the Duffers have Derny on their side, nothing is truly impossible. And verily, when this doth take place, the constellations shall rearrange themselves to spell "Derny is a Duffer", and they shall blaze forth their light most joyously, and all shalt be lit for a time, until that very day when the 'nites swim back out of the sea to launch an attack upon Dufferland. And yet they shall not prevail, for the Duffers shall have Derny with them, and she shall raise her hand, and the Forces of 'Nite shall retreat, and the Forces of Dufferness shall triumph. And then shall be the end of all 'nites, and the Forum shall be cleansed, and all shall rejoice for a time. And even then shall the summation of the rejoicing be when Derny is crowned Duffer Lady, and the Forum shall pass down into the ages, rejoicing.
