My First Fan-Fic

The group followed the beaver uncertainly deeper into the forest until it stoped and turned to face them.
Susan was the first one to speak. "What is it you want with us?" she asked. She was in a rather bad mood at the moment and did not like the idea of following a strange talking beaver into a strange wood in a strange, unknown country.
The beaver looked at her and answered, "I have come to meet you, as Mr. Tumnus instructed me to do, but we have little time before dark, and it is dangerous to be out in the woods when night falls."
"Is Mr. Tumnus alright?" Lucy asked.
"My dear," the beaver answered, "He was taken by the secret police, and they were last seen heading north. The Witch will have him by now." And then, seeing the child's downcast face, he added, "But there's always hope for him."
Lucy brightened a little at that, but not much. She was very worried about her friend. "I just don't want him to get hurt on my account."
"I know, dear, I know," the beaver answered. Then, he said, "But since it will soon be to dangerous to be out here, let us be off! I will take you to my home, where Mrs. Beaver and I shall get you some supper, and we will all have a nice long talk."
 
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Wow! This is one of the best 'first fan-fics' I've ever read! You're doing excellent keeping with the plot!
Emily is quite an interesting character...
 
The followed Mr. Beaver through the woods until they came to a place where the woods thinned. It was beginning to snow again. Mr. Beaver said that it was a good thing, as the snow would cover up any tracks that they left. Emily was again trailing behind the others, lost in thought. Suddenly, she looked back over her shoulder.
"Well that's funny," she thought, "I could have sworn that I saw something move back there." Emily shivered uncomfortably and hurried to catch up with the others.
Susan noticed that Emily looked a little nervous and asked, "I say, Emily, is something wrong?"
Emily glanced over her shoulder again. "I don't know," she replied.
Suddenly, Mr. Beaver noticed that something was up, too. He stopped as a little bird, the same bird that had called to them before, alighted on a tree branch near them.
It cocked its head and chirped, "Mr. Beaver, you and the children are in grave danger."
Mr. Beaver shook his head. "I guessed as much. Are we being followed?"
"Yes," the bird replied.
"Alright then," Mr. Beaver said. "You take them on ahead to my place, and I'll see what I can do here."
The little bird looked nervous. "But, you don't understand -"
Mr. Beaver gave a low, long whistle, and several other animals came running. "I had some of my friends come along, just in case this sort of thing happened; now take the children and go!"
 
(Here's the next update)

The little bird nodded and said to the children, "Come on, follow me! Quickly now!"
"But -" Lucy started, but Peter cut her off.
"Let's go, Lu!" he said.
They all started off running as the bird flew ahead of them as a guide. As they ran, Emily looked behind her again. Mr. Beaver was there shouting orders to his friends. She heard him say, "Badger! You take the left; we musn't let them get around us!" Then, she tripped over a root and fell.
Susan screamed, "Emily!"
Peter stopped and turned around. He ran back and pulled her to her feet. "Come on," he said. "Be careful!"
Emily couldn't help glaring at him a little. "Thanks a lot," she muttered under her breath. Once she was up again, they started to run all over again. As they were disappearing into more woods, they could hear the sound of a fight going on behind them.
 
"Do you think Mr. Beaver will be alright?" Lucy asked.
"I don't know Lucy," Susan replied. "Right now, let's focus on getting away!" The others all agreed with her and they ran on in silence for some time. It was by now very dark out and they found it very hard going in the woods. They tripped over roots and vines and branches seemed to be grabbing at them, thrying to trip them up, too. Everything that moved look sinister to them. Finally, they could go no further without a rest. So they all sat down with their backs against several trees and looked at one another. No one spoke. It was dead quiet, and everyone was dead tired. Lucy tried to smile and cheer the others up, but Edmund scowled ill temperedly at her and she gave up.
Emily was lost to the others again. She was thinking of something; something that she wanted to forget, but wouldn't leave her alone. Again and again the girl tried to push it out of her mind, but it keep coming back. She could see as if it were clear as day. She could hear the taunting laughter of the others, and she saw herself sitting in her seat cowering there, trying to hide from them. She saw herself writting to her mother about it; and she also remembered getting her mother's frustrated letter in reply. Emily shook herself, trying to shake the memory off, but it wouldn't leave her alone.
 
"Emily? Emily?" Susan said.
Emily didn't reply. She was still lost in her thoughts.
"Emily!"
Emily jumped. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Susan said. "Are you alright?"
"Never better," was the sarcastic reply.
Susan looked a little hurt and said, "I was just wondering."
Emily tried to hide her suprise. "Since when did you care about me?"
Susan shrugged.
Emily shook her head and bit her lip. She looked bewildered. It had been so long since someone had actually cared.
 
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