Ridiculous Movies

EveningStar

EveningStar

Mage Scribe
Staff member
Knight of the Noble Order
Royal Guard
This is for ridiculous ficticious movies you have "seen" with a short synopsis of the plot. I'll start off.

THE MONSTER THAT ATE NEW YORK

It's about a large green monster that ate New York City, then ate Hershey Pennsylvania for dessert. By the way, it was rated "R" because in wanton violence it fell right between "Q" and "S".
 
THE EGGPLANT THAT ATE CHICAGO

Based on the popular song, in this monster flick an eggplant gets tired of the overabundance of vegetarians and decides to prove to the world that meat and junk food is the way to go.
 
Title: "The Profound Meaningfulness of Meaningless Profundity"

The camera spends fifteen minutes staring at a rural landscape in which nothing is happening. Cut to an urban apartment, where a man and woman argue bitterly and shout that they hate each other. Cut to twenty minutes of pointlessly watching city traffic. Then the woman from the argument scene has a new argument with some other woman. The man from the argument scene has a new argument with some other man. Cut to ten minutes of watching a garden slug in a flower bed. Cut to a restaurant, where the second woman and the second man sit down to eat, then get into a furious quarrel. Five minutes of watching planes take off from an airport; then ten minutes in which unidentified characters, having no known connection with the arguing foursome, have a noisy and bloody gunfight. Cut back to the countryside from the opening scene, where now an unknown man is digging a hole to bury a mysterious box. Return to the city, with all of the first four characters getting together to scream and curse at each other. Credits roll over a closing view of city traffic.

Wins thirty or forty international awards. Goes to DVD and no one buys it.
 
The Lord of the Rinds: The Fellowship of the Rind

Nine fruit growers set out on an epic journey to destroy a cantaloupe rind lest an evil cattle herder use it to control the world. They succeed in throwing it in the trash, securing the peace and freedom of the world forever. Along the way, they meet a wizard, six random superheroes, four siblings (accompanied by two beavers), a mercenary, several pirates, and twenty-three dead teenagers.
 
"Criminal Mines"

The movie version of the paranormal TV show in which law enforcement profilers endeavor to learn the impetus behind psychopathic self-aware land mines intent on destroying mankind. The officials engage in an apocalyptic battle against the mines, complete with unspectacular acting, lack of chemistry, and slow plot movement.

Starring:
Kanye West as Derek Morgan
Craig Parker as Dr. Spencer Reid
Kyle Chandler as Aaron Hotchner
Lady Gaga as Penelope Garcia
Generic Blonde as J.J. Jareau
Mario Lopez as David Rossi

I could do this all day...
 
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THE GARNISHER

Based on the heartwarming true story of Sylvester Krantz, Jr., the Mess Sergeant who sought to raise morale during the Battle of the Bulge by giving Dogfaces and GIs a familiar sprig of parsley on a very special dinner. "Presentation is everything," he said, "something that is true of most things in life."

MILLARD FILLMORE, AMERICAN HERO

A tense, fast-paced drama of the rise of an American Icon, Millard Fillmore. Surviving athletes foot, the common cold and a loose board in the parlor floor, Fillmore rose from humble beginnings in a log cabin to take his place among the nation's ten most obscure presidents. Catapulted into the Oval Office by the death of William Henry Harrison, Fillmore had to face the Great Grammar Crisis of 1851. "Somebody's got to talk good to set a tone for this country!" Remember...unless you've seen it twice, you haven't seen it!
 
THE SILMULILLION

Andrew Adamson directs this movie adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkien's Silmarillion (name changed because of copyright restrictions, as Christopher Tolkien would not sell the film rights). The Silmulillion tells the story of the creation of Earth by the Song of the Superheroes (who include Batman, Robin, Spiderman, and others), the fall of the Joker, and the making of the Leprechauns. The movie consists of a series of epic battles between the Joker and the Leprechauns, who sing better than he does. Eventually one of the Leprechauns floats his coracle out to sea and makes it to Aslan's country. The film ends with exciting sequences of Aslan killing the Joker and disposing of his body with the aid of a remote-controlled helicopter. (All the Leprechauns, of course, live happily ever after.)

Due to death threats from Tolkien purists, the film can only be shown in select, heavily guarded theaters. If you wish to purchase tickets, bring your birth certificate, driver's license, marital records, and a foreign passport to your local police department.
 
I dunno, Glenburne, I think you're _underestimating_ the amount of damage Andrew Adamson would _intentionally_ do to the story if he got his hands on anything from Tolkien.
 
IT'S A WONDERFUL LAUGH

Sid, a despondent washed-out stand-up comic thinks of ending it all until an angel named Bozo comes to convince him that he's made a lot of people laugh in his time, including the midwife that delivered him. Unfortunately the retrospective of his life proved to be too funny for Sid and he died laughing...literally.
 
"Die Soft" ​

Health-food fanatics invade the corporate offices of a maker of pastries and candy, and a heroic baker tries to rescue the hostages from being force-fed with tofu and lima beans. Epic pie-fights abound.
 
DANCES WITH CORGIS

HRM Queen Elizabeth finds yet another unflattering news story too much to bear so she goes on a vision quest to Downtown Liverpool where she learns to survive far from civilization and regains confidence.
 
EveningStar said:
IT'S A WONDERFUL LAUGH

Sid, a despondent washed-out stand-up comic thinks of ending it all until an angel named Bozo comes to convince him that he's made a lot of people laugh in his time, including the midwife that delivered him. Unfortunately the retrospective of his life proved to be too funny for Sid and he died laughing...literally.
Click to expand...

I would go see that movie.
 
Since there's already BEEN a "Pride and Prejudice" takeoff book that featured zombies, it wouldn't be much of a leap from there to produce a horror-adventure film called:

JANE AUSTEN,
ZOMBIE HUNTER!!!​
 
THE TIGER, THE WIZARD AND THE WARDROBE

A family of four fauns go through a magic wardrobe into World War II England. They must find and defeat Adolf Hitler and set the world free.
 
Crouching Hamster, Hidden Dachshund

Low-budget kung-fu movie in which the characters perform dazzling stunts like jumping over a small puddle or walking up a flight of stairs.
 
Is that a take on Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon?

Attack of the Vegan Zombies!(2010) Its a film about where Joe and his wife Dionne might lose the farm. In order for the farm to be saved Dionne asks her mother who's a witch to cast a spell to have a successful farm. Once the spell is cast something strange appears in the field, and gets discovered by a nosy neighbor.
 
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