Roleplay By Monologues

Status
Not open for further replies.
Copperfox

Copperfox

Well-known member
THIS WILL BE LITERALLY THE ROLEPLAY FOR EVERYONE!!

Some roleplayers want to be the star of the story, even if they join later than anyone else.

Some roleplayers want to make up anything that comes into their heads, without paying the slightest attention to what was going on in recent posts.

Some roleplayers prefer to avoid any action at all, having the characters do nothing but converse about the weather or daily routines.

Some roleplayers insist on contradicting clearly established personality traits for characters.

Some roleplayers insist on one-upmanship: if you have an unbeatable magic sword, I have TWO unbeatable magic swords.

Some roleplayers love to combine unconnected situations/characters/worlds without rhyme or reason.

Some roleplayers love to get everyone expecting something from them, then walk away and leave the rest of the characters hanging in the middle of what was supposed to be a pivotal scene.

AND....some roleplayers begin with a sincere intention of being team players and making it fun for everyone...but that relentless real life trips them up with its demands that won't wait.

For all of these types, I now present a roleplay that is guilt-free...because it is PLOT-free! Be anyone, do anything; the MORE senseless and incoherent, the better!

For this to be done, the opening installment must simulate multiple installments by multiple persons, to let you see the contradictions. Once you've seen the first few arbitrary changes, add anything you like. Everyone's a star here!

==================================================

FIRST POST:

It was early morning of the third day after Aragorn was crowned King of Gondor. Faramir and Eowyn were enjoying a leisurely breakfast together on a veranda of the royal palace in Minas Tirith, discussing their wedding plans.

==================================================

SECOND POST:

Suddenly a regiment of Civil War Confederate cavalry came riding up. Its commander, the dashingly handsome Colonel Beauregard T. Beauregard (the T stood for "Beauregard"), saluted Eowyn with his saber, saying, "My dear Miss Eowyn, I was hoping you would marry me instead!"

==================================================

THIRD POST:

Just then, a fleet of Imperial star destroyers entered atmosphere with beam weapons blazing. Every living thing in Minas Tirith was instantly killed...except for one 13-year-old girl and her horse. The girl, named Valatirana, set off on a quest whose meaning no one but she understood.

==================================================

FOURTH POST:

Wolverine and Cyclops noticed Valatirana riding past, but they were otherwise occupied: with a double solitaire game.

"Black five on red six."

"Red jack on black queen."

"Red seven on black eight."

"Black two on red three...."

=================================================

FIFTH POST (written five days later):

No, it wasn't Wolverine and Cyclops who were playing cards, it was Magneto and Sabertooth!

================================================

SIXTH POST:

An hour later, Jessica received an e-mail telling her about a coming talent contest. She just knew that her act of simultaneously belly-dancing and playing a bagpipe could win.
 
One day, after raiding a slave cave with his double machete rocket launcher, a great barbarian browsed the web.
 
Suddenly, a holographic figure of Michael Flatley leaped out of the barbarian's computer screen and taught the barbarian how to "Riverdance."
 
So then this barbarian went out and taught all of his friends how to "Riverdance," so he could hold a riverdancing festival in his 'community.'
 
Note completely unrelated post....

Inside the secret government laboratory, twenty scientists were working to create a telephone which would teleport to another planet any telemarketer who tried to call the owner.
 
The Doctor objected highly to this and shouted, "Hey that's my TARDIS you're messing up there, you'd better clean it up later!"
 
OOC: Before anyone accuses me of hypocrisy because I have written long RP posts which could be called monologues, let me clarify: I was never objecting to long entries, IF THEY FURTHERED THE DECLARED STORYLINE instead of turning it into something else. But in THIS roleplay, the POINT is to turn it into something else constantly.

-----------------------------------------------


"Captain, look at the strange creature we've captured!" yelled Harry Hornswoggle. Captain Jack Hummingbird set aside his unfinished sixth jug of rum to go see what the stir was.

"Who is this, Harry? Some kind of Mer-Werewolf?"

"He says he's a storeclerk, Captain."

"A what??"

"I think that means he, um....works for a living."

Captain Hummingbird's eyebrows rose indignantly. "WORKS for a living? Where's the sexy glamour in THAT? Get rid of him, before he spoils our bad-boys mystique!"

So the store clerk was made to walk the plank. But he wasn't afraid; he knew that this post would be contradicted by another one before he could hit the water.
 
I hope the first parts of the first post weren't about people like me ... because it sounded like it :( and if it did, I'm sorry if I made some mistakes in the tales, but I was all new, and confused :( sorry ...
 
don't worry Powl', copperfox was not making fun of any specific people


"Why Scrooge, I never knew you could bake! What a pity you weren't there to make my wedding cake" exclaimed Pearl Wooster. "But why is there a spider on the top of my birthday cake?"
 
Haldir left Lothlorien and went on a visit to Rivendell. While riding his horse he passed Rohan and stopped to check on Eomer and Eowyn. He heard Eowyn would marry Faramir and he went to give his blessings to the couple.
The guard of Rohan was walkinmg towards Haldir.

" Well met my friend. What brings you here?"

" I as hoping to find Lady Eowyn over here. I heard she is going to marry young captain faramir of Gondor"

" Then I'm afraid to disappoint you my friend. She's still at Gondor"

" Thanks a lot! I will first go to Rivendell to leave a message for Lord Elrond and then I will go to Minas Tirith."

Haldir jumped on his horse and continued his journey
 
(That's right, Powl, I was not singling you out)

Haldir had not covered half a kilometer before he saw a 13-year-old girl on a horse awaiting him straight ahead.

"Who are you, young maiden?" asked the Vulcan scientist. Up till a moment ago, Haldir had been an Elf, but now he was a Vulcan instead.

"I am Semizoria," said the girl, "and I am on a quest which no one but myself understands, and on which the fate of the whole world depends."

"That's not true!" cried an almost identical voice. Another 13-year-old girl came riding up on another horse, to shout at Semizoria: "Your quest is nothing! I am Valatirana, and MY quest is the one the world depends on!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

And then the two 13-year-old girls began kung-fu fighting. But since they were both claiming to be invincible, they cancelled each other out, creating a black hole into which they and Haldir were pulled, never to be seen again. But the horses escaped--to be found by three more 13-year-old girls. Each of these girls mounted a horse and rode off alone, on a quest which no one else understood.
 
Last edited:
Pippin walked on the same road where Haldir vanished before. He saw this strange black hole. The girls who created the black hole were gone but the hole as still there. Pippin grabbed an apple and threw it into the hole. The apple vanished. Then Pippin grabbed another apple and repeated his action. Again the apple vanished. Pippin continued doing the same. But he didn't realize the whole road was filled with apples. Suddenly a big apple stood before him.

" So you like throwing apples into holes eh?"

" I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose"

" Of course you didn't. You don't know what you're doing when you pick an apple and throw it into a hole. You don't see this at all"

The apple was so angry it grabbed Pippin, lifted him into the air and threw him into the same hole. Pippin vanished
 
A 13-year-old BOY was riding his horse, on a quest which only he understood, when he suddenly said to himself, "Wait a minute! I'm in the wrong roleplay!"
 
He turned himself to the RPG creator and looked up.

" Hey! What have you done to me? I didn't want to be here after all. I know I first said yes but then I realized it was the wrong play. Is there a way you can direct me into another play instead of using the black hole?"
 
So the boy followed a shining light, far away into a roleplay being played by adults.

Meanwhile, Dakota Flapping, skateboard champion of Sludgeville, was in the middle of a series of 200-meter leaps through the air...when she saw a dump truck, obviously belonging to an EEEEEEEEEE-vil business corporation, dumping toxic waste onto the grass right in front of children at play.
 
The sexy young man said to the sexy young woman, "I'm so noble for _not_ drinking your blood!"

"You've got that mixed up," said the sexy young woman; "_I'm_ the one who's amazingly noble for not drinking _your_ blood!"

"What?" said the sexy young man. "Are _you_ a vampire too?"

"Of course I'm a vampire; so you're saying _you're_ one?"

"Yes; can't you tell that by how hip and sexy I am?"

"But where'd all the normal people go?"

It took the vampires many days to figure out what had happened to everyone who _wasn't_ a vampire. While the vampires had all been busy showing off how sexy they were and trying to impress each other, the normal people had built spaceships and flown away to an unknown planet, leaving no forwarding address.
 
Captain Sisko stood at the entryway to Deep Space Nine, wondering who were the men in business suits debarking from a starship of unfamiliar design. He wasn't left wondering for long.

"Captain Sisko, we represent Commander Sinclair of Babylon Five. Our client is suing you for stealing all the major concepts for your show from his show."
 
Protagonist said:
One day, after raiding a slave cave with his double machete rocket launcher, a great barbarian browsed the web.
Click to expand...

And he became a king and posted like mad in a place called "Dufferland"

Copperfox said:
OOC: Before anyone accuses me of hypocrisy because I have written long RP posts which could be called monologues, let me clarify: I was never objecting to long entries, IF THEY FURTHERED THE DECLARED STORYLINE instead of turning it into something else. But in THIS roleplay, the POINT is to turn it into something else constantly.
Click to expand...
I thought you said this about anything and whatever.:confused:
 
Copperfox said:
Captain Sisko stood at the entryway to Deep Space Nine, wondering who were the men in business suits debarking from a starship of unfamiliar design. He wasn't left wondering for long.

"Captain Sisko, we represent Commander Sinclair of Babylon Five. Our client is suing you for stealing all the major concepts for your show from his show."
Click to expand...

After everyone read the court paper, they had a good laugh and began singing really loud.

"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine."
"Cisco Kid, was a friend of mine."
 
What I said about "declared storyline" was about "regular" game threads. THIS one is indeed meant to be Dufferish.
=====================================================


The football field was empty except for six girls practicing cheerleading routines. Suddenly a crack opened up in the earth, and out came strange reptilian creatures who wanted to take over selling popcorn at the next game.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top