Roleplay By Monologues

Status
Not open for further replies.
Meanwhile, Stanley discovered that his last name was Kubrik and immediately disavowed "A Cloakwork Orange" because he claimed that it was based on Magneto's cousin's life. He tried to rename it "A PluckPork Purple" but the name never did catch on.

He appealed to the FBI to put him in the witness protection program because Genghis Khan was looking for him to give him a bear hug in thanks for teaching him good torture techniques.
 
Upon seeing this, Pipping got mad and asked to be release of his contract because he claimed that the part of Dorothy had been offered to him, and he was really looking forward to giving a great performance.
He immediately went looking for Stanley Kubrik to see if Stanley would give him a better role. He's still looking for Stanley.
 
Haldir saw the weird looks on Pippin's face but Pippin already left when Haldir searched him. Haldir however loved the dress.

" It's an elvish dress"

Elvis showed up and asked what was going on.

" I never had a dress like that!"
 
Meanwhile, the regiment of American Civil War Confederate Cavalry, commanded by the aforementioned Colonel Beauregard T. Beauregard (the T stood for "Beauregard") discovered that Elvis was living in Memphis, immediately forgot about the wedding of Farimir and Eowyn and rushed the federal troops defending Memphis. These Federal troops were now commanded by Stanley Kubrik under the assumed name of Eugene Templeton Singleton. Singleton's regiment consisted of his horse, and a drummer boy who looked strangely familiar to Pippin.
 
Suddenly, _another_ know-it-all 13-year-old girl on a horse came riding up. "It is my mission to make peace between you!" she triumphantly exclaimed. Both sides threw pies at her; the Union side threw apple pies, while the Confederate side threw peach pies.

Back in Minas Tirith, ignoring and contradicting the earlier statement that Minas Tirith had been wiped out, Faramir and Eowyn proceeded with their wedding. When Adam Sandler showed up claiming he had been hired to sing, he also got hit with pies.
 
Last edited:
From the east end of an athletic field appeared a field-hockey team. Coming to meet them from the west end appeared a baseball team. Both teams began simultaneously trying to play their own sport, while both insisted that what they were playing was basketball.

Numerous avid online roleplayers perceived no contradiction. They were too busy imagining being 13-year-old girls on horseback setting out on solo quests which only they understood.
 
Melenie was wondering around her school hall waiting for her hpne to go off. When it did go off she remeberd thats she had left it in her locker.
 
She reached the phone before it stopped ringing. A recorded voice declared, "Congratulations! You have been selected to win a FREE vacation at a beautiful tropical beach in central Siberia!"
 
In spite of the peach-apple-cobbler completely covering the ground around her (she herself being completely untouched) the girl with the flowing perfect hair, milky complexion and amazing eyes (one violet, one silver) burst into perfect little tears, each one sprouting a flower when it hit the ground.

"Forsooth!" she crieth. "My horse, it hath revealed it is in fact a unicorn! The invisible horn was hidden upon the death of my half-blood royal parents to protect me from the curses of Fenric!"

"Yes ma'am," one of the Confederate soldiers replied as a janitor went by with his mop. "Corporal Forsooth at your service."
 
At the intersection of State Street and Seventh Avenue, the light at this moment was red for State Street. Waiting for the light to change were forty-eight 13-year-old girls on horses, every one of them bound on a solitary quest which only she understood. Passing through the intersection were at least as many 13-year-old girls on horses, every one of _them_ also on a solitary quest which only she understood.

One of the girls on State Street lost all patience with the light, and started through _before_ it changed. Her horse consequently bumped against the horse of one of the last questing girls coming through on Seventh Avenue. "Whiplash!" yelled the Seventh Avenue girl. Immediately, a crooked ambulance-chasing lawyer called out from the sidewalk, "I'll take your case!"

But a third 13-year-old girl recognized this lawyer as the evil being whom it was her quest to destroy. So she changed into a Tyrannosaurus, and ate up the lawyer, just like the scene in "Jurassic Park."
 
Eowyn tossed her bouquet, which thanks to a shift in the wind and the strong arm of a shieldmaiden, shot right over the edge of the cliff and fluttered down to the streets of Minas Tirith below.

"Wow," shouted one of the guests over the horrible warbling songs coming from the sound-system, "Look at the traffic snarl down there! Every 13-year-old girl in the country must be out on a quest at once!"

"Has anyone seen the catering wagons anywhere?" someone else asked. "The groom claims there were supposed to be several hundred pies on order for the reception."
 
Another 48 13-year old girls were crossing the street at the fifth avenue while suddenly a horn was blowing. They looked up and saw a giant pirate boat called the Flying Dutchmen. They immidiatly recognized Davy JOnes and the girls started to swoon over him. Davy Jones laughed and stepped on the road.

" Ha! Do I look pretty to you?"

" Yes you do"

" Do I look great to you?"

" Yes you do"

" Do you want to sail with me on this boat while knowing my history after watching Pirates of the Carribean 20 times?"

" It was 40 times but yes I would"

All 48 girls replied in choir. So Davy Jones stepped aside and allowed the girls to enter his boat. As soon as they all were on board Davy Jones made the boat sail away and the boat vanished...never to be seen or heard of again.
 
A 14-year-old girl named Allyson stood watching all the 13-year-olds departing. Suddenly there was a tap on her shoulder. Turning, she saw that it was Legolas' handsome brother Hunkolas. "Where's your horse?" he asked her in friendly tones.

"I don't have one," Allyson admitted. "And I'm not on any solitary quest."

Hunkolas looked intrigued. "You're not?"

"Nope. I wasn't even on one when I was 13. The other girls think I'm weird, but I actually like _people_ better than horses. I work as a nurse's aid at the House of Healing. As a matter of fact, I assisted Aragorn in taking care of Eowyn and Faramir."

"Really!" Hunkolas sounded impressed. "Say, if you're still unattached when you reach adulthood, I'll give you a call."
 
In the principal's office of a suburban high school, the captain of the football team was saying to the principal, "Reading? What's reading?.....Oh, you mean reading the scoreboard!"
 
Irving Hockelsmit, obscure nephew of Indiana Jones, had never mastered a bullwhip; but he had gotten fairly good with a riding crop. Now if he could just get one of those 13-year-old girls on mysterious quests to teach him how to ride a horse, he might be able to have an adventure.
 
"Gimme a D!" shouted the cheerleaders out in the hall as the football team jogged from the principal's office.

"Gimme a U! Gimme a H! What's that spell? What's that spell?!"

"Duh?" said the football players.

"Yesssss!" said the cheerleading captain. "See, Mr. Hinckledorf? They can too spell!"

Triumphantly waving their pom-poms, the cheerleading squad led the football players outside where a giant flying ship loaded with screaming 13-year-olds swooped so low overhead they were all tumbled in a heap from the backwash.

"Wah....?" one of the players started to say just before he was hit with a peach pie.
 
Elsewhere, one 13-year-old girl who had had the sense NOT to get on board the Flying Dutchman was riding her horse through a deep forest, when she saw what looked like an abandoned greenhouse. Upon examination, she determined that the structure had been created by a TDL member called Shortangel, for the enjoyment of other members includng Bruiser. She so greatly enjoyed looking at the still-blossoming flowers and the still-active butterflies, that she soon decided her solo quest wasn't so important, and maybe she would go home and plant some flowers of her own there.
 
When she approached the flowers she saw names appearing on them.

" Copperfox"
"Eveningstar"
"Inkspot"
"Bruiser"
"Barbarian King"
"Desert Wolf"
"Primsong"
"Fernshirehobbit"
"Mrs Gil-Galad Took"

The girl started to laugh when she read this last name. She grabbed the flower.

" Gil-Galad and Took? Since when did they became relatives? This person must be out of his or her mind"

She laughed so loud the clouds began to complain and started to cry and scream. A tornado appeared. The girl handed him the Mrs Gil-Galad Took flower and the Tornado swallowed it.
The girl demanded the tornado to leave and walked back to the flowers to see if more names would appear but instead of more names she only saw the same flowers without names.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top