Roleplay By Monologues

Status
Not open for further replies.
Out on the fields of Pelennor, the Confederate and Union armies ceased throwing pies at the bidding of a lone girl on a unicorn, her great beauty and perfectly sweet voice having blinded them to the evilness of her plan to steal all their pies for herself.

A sprinkling of strange flower-labels came twisting down out of the sky, decorating the remains of the coveted baked goods and causing a small cadre of mutant gophers to spontaneously emerge from the embattled turf to slurp them up.

"Arrrrrr!" the girl cried in dulcet tones as her plans were foiled yet again.
 
Eowyn called out loudly. "Oh munchkins! Rehersal is over!"

A crowed of hobbits came running up to her including Pippen and Sam.

"We're sorry M'lady but Haldir was sick. But we have an understudy! The witch king will make a perfect Dorthy!" One of the muchkins said. "And of corse, as always, Frodo will portray the part of the good fairy and Merry will play the Wizard of Oz."
 
It was at that very moment that a small white rabbit came running past holding a pocket watch that was about his size. "I'm LATE!" he squealed as he disappeared.

and that was when they all realized they had wandered into Wonderland.
 
The flowers started to dance around the girl and they stick out their tongues while calling blahblahblah to the girl.
The girl was getting annoyed and angry and she wanted to ride with her unicorn when suddenly she was knocked down by an ent.

" Treebeard...please go away! I don't need you here"

Treebeard looked at the girl and started to laugh.

" Jadis! I wouldn't have recognized you!"

" No you idiot! It isn't Jadis...it is me!"

The Witch-King appeared.

" I must set off to for Eowyn's marriage. I have a little surprise for her"
 
"Oh dear, oh dear. Where is that Witch King?" The head munchkin said. "And the scarecrow, Bombur, tinman, Rosie, and the lion, Elanor! Oh dear dear dear. And Gandalf! Where is Gandalf! He should be here with Shadowfax (who naturaly will play the part of Toto). Atleast the munchkins are here."

"Hello!" The witch king apeared in a pink and blue cloak.
 
The Witch-King walked up to Eowyn and threw his sword towards her.

"I want to do this again"

Eowyn looked surprised. Everybody was ready to fight but Faramir held his hand up.

"Wait! What do you mean? And why are you throwing your sword at her?"

The witch-king quickly grabbed his digital camera and handed it over to Gandalf.

"Now if you will take a picture of us"

The Witch-King grabbed Eowyn's fist and raised her arm.

" Come on! Do it again! It will get a special place on my wall?

Eowyn didn't understand but Gandalf did. Gandalf handed the camnera over to Faramir.

" I think I know what he means. He wants you to stab him again like you did back then"

" Again??? I think it's time he stops asking me to do this. I have done this already three times"

Eowyn sighed but Faramir hestitated.

" I will get some visitors over and one of them is Sauron. He wants a copy of it"

The Witch-King begged Eowyn.

" Alright, honey take a pic please"

Eowyn stabbed the Witch-KIng as she did before and screamed.

" This is so supercool!!! Now I must make a copy"

The Witch-King had disappeared as he used to do but suddenly appeared again.

" Go to the room on your left. The one where my dad wanted to burn me. You will find a notebook and printer inside"

Faramir pointed to the direction he descriped
 
But in that room, standing in front of the printer, was Galadriel, who said:

"WAIT! This roleplay is becoming too CONSISTENT! There've been at least five consecutive posts now that have SOME CONNECTION with each other! By Elbereth Gorgonzola, this must cease!" The Elf-Queen then sat on a Harley-Davidson, gunned the motor, and roared off all the way to South Korea, where she ordered and ate the hottest kimchee she could find in downtown Seoul.

She was hailed in the restaurant by Harrison Ford, who said, "Great work in the last picture, Cate!" But she snapped, "Idiot! I'm being Galadriel right now, not that Russian lady!"
 
Emmett, the character played by Scott Glenn in "Silverado," was riding the range looking for a sequel he could be in, when he saw a 13-year-old girl hitchhiking. This being dangerous country, Emmett figured he shouldn't leave her stranded; so he let her climb onto his horse, while he walked awhile holding the reins to spare the animal. "What're you doin' in these badlands, miss?" he asked.

"Looking for a horse I can ride, so I can go on a solitary quest that no one but me knows the purpose of," she replied. "I'm not sure what I'll be looking for, but the fate of the universe will probably depend on me."

Emmett wondered how long she'd been out in the hot sun with nothing to shade her head. "I reckon you had _more_ chance of finding a horse for yourself out here than finding some other thing that you didn't even know what it was! But if there's somethin' you think needs findin', don't you reckon you'd find it sooner if you _didn't_ search all alone?"

The girl turned irritable. "What, you mean--go searching with _other_ people? But then how could I feel that I was uniquely special in all the world? No, I just want a horse."

So, without warning, the girl kicked hard, and stole Emmett's horse.

Left on foot in arid country, Emmett did the only thing he could do: turned right and stepped into a neighboring roleplay where the air was cooler.
 
After visiting two other threads in his search for a new horse, Emmett the gunslinger from "Silverado" finally made it back to the Monologues thread. He knew he had made it back, precisely _because_ nothing there was as he had left it.

Before him now lay the remains of a crashed jet airliner. In the surrounding vicinity were palm trees and makeshift shelters. The stranded airline passengers were talking among themselves, wondering where they were. So Emmett rode over the nearest hill to look. Fifteen minutes later he came back with a super-size cola and informed them, "You're on the back lot of Busch Gardens in Florida."

And Copperfox took a long breath, feeling only the teeniest bit silly for finding respite from the intermittent grief in this absurd parody.
 
The Princess-who-need-no-saving-from-no-stinking-knight-in-shinning-armor-and-riding-a-white-unicorn looked at all the devastation around her and wondered: "Have all the American Idol fans been let lose? Or is this just a figment of the imagination of all those silly Americans?"

Whatever the case, she was intent on going on a quest herself to find the legendary "Big Cheese," that elusive creature that everyone at the office had warned her about.
 
It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a gunshot rang out! Then the adults on TDL remembered the old "Peanuts" episodes in which Snoopy tried to make it as a novelist.
 
Magneto fell from the orbit of Earth for unknown reasons into Eowyn and Faramir's weding where the preformance of "The Wizard of Oz" had begun.

Meanwhile on the ice rink....

Wolverine and Cyclops played a card game with no diamonds and no aces. Stanley walked into his basket weaving class on the ice rink.

"Lesson One." Said the instuctor, who happened to be Jadis. "Skating while weaving, weaving tables and houses, and how to dance on ice."

Iceman skated into the scean. "Repeat after me." He said and began doing a Torvil and Dean ice skating routine with Jadis while weaving a table leg.

On Davy Jones' ship....

Serenity landed beside the ship and the enitre crew inclusing River Tam who had magicly telleported from the ice rink walked out onto the ship.

"We're looking for" Mal ducked a pie flying past his head. "a brain in a jar of" he ducked ten pies. "dirt. Now if you'll WHOA!" He jumped to the floor as 1000000 pies came fling past. "all-just-cooperate-we-can-get-this-done-nice-and-quickly!" He yelled in one breath from the floor of the ship as 1000000000000000000 pies flew past, seaming not to touch anyone exept him.
 
Struggling free from the sticky heap of pie filling appeared a curly-haired man in futuristic clothing, who addressed Mal in a British accent: "I say, son, jolly good seeing you!"

Mal wiped the delicious goo from his face. "You don't look like my Dad."

"Sorry, young chap, I mean my metaphorical son. I'm Rog Blake, the hero of 'Blake's Seven,' the show of which _your_ show was an artistic descendant."

A nearby monster-pirate who also had a British accent interjected, "That's right! Good to see you, Blake! But weren't you killed in an annoyingly downbeat ending?"

"Well, yes, I was," Blake admitted. "But Copperfox never liked that ending either, and he planned to write a fanfic devising a plausible way to have me be alive after all. So here, we can assume it was written. But excuse me, I'm off to go rent a copy of 'Ocean's Eleven.' "
 
Imagine that the following is an OOC from a newly-joining player:

NO, NO, NO! It wasn't Rog Blake who came out of the pile of pie! It was the title characters from the other pessimistic British sci-fi show, "Sapphire and Steel!"


Then a still-newer player:

That's wrong! It was "Number Six" from "The Prisoner" who came out of the pastry; that was HOW he escaped from The Village!


Then Copperfox points out that it was already clearly posted that it WAS Rog Blake who appeared in front of Mal. Copperfox gets ignored.
 
Meanwhile, in a faraway kingdom, another princess-who-needs-no-rescuing-from-no-stinking-knight-in-a-white-unicorn was staring at the picture on her wall, which showed cf in a despondent mood, and waved her huge fire and liquid-plasma sword in a victorious mood.
 
The White Stag walked up to Copperfox just then, saying softly, "Steady, old boy. The wives are happy in Heaven, and you've got a good buddy lending moral support packaged as humor."

"I know," replied Copperfox, and smiled. Then he explained to the Stag just HOW he had conceived of Blake staying alive. The dictatorship revived him before all brain activity ceased, so they could make him the subject of experiments which amounted to sophisticated torture. But a nearly-forgotten character from an old episode, Blake's gorgeous and infatuated female cousin Rowena, pulled off a rescue mission. Once restored to health, Blake married Rowena, and they lived happily ever after on a planet where no one would think to look for them, because the locals all had American accents and the villains never would have thought Blake could stand to live there.
 
Suddenly, a guy who called himself "The Doctor" and had really funny hair that stuck out above his forehead in a pointy shape, went walking by muttering: oy! oy! oy! with an English accent.
 
The White Stag said to the Doctor, "If you had been present as a character in the 'Blake's Seven' series, that story could have had a happy ending, even though it were at the cost of you pompously lecturing Blake that he should never have killed anyone for any reason."
 
Meanwhile, a 12-year-old girl named Kathy was marking her calendar. As soon as she turned 13, she was going to set out on a solitary quest whose purpose only she would understand. If the horse didn't show up for this, she would ride her bike.
 
"I've got a jar of dirt! I've got a jar of dirt! And guess what's inside in!" Jayne sang dancing with a jar in his hands.

"A BRAIN!" Everyone on the ship said at once.

"You're no fun." Jayne groused. Suddenly a geinie appeared and grabbed the jar of dirt with a brain in it and disapeared.

Meanwhile at Eowyn and Faramir's wedding....

"If I only had a brain..." Sang Bombur

Suddenly the geni who stole Jayne's jar of dirt with a brain in it appeared. "You're wish has been granted!" He handed Bombur the jar and was gone in a poof of flower making the whole set white.

"Well we could always put on a preformance of White Christmas." Merry suggested.
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top