Roleplay By Monologues

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A stranger showed up at Faramir and Eowyn's wedding reception, and began telling the guests that he should be King of Gondor instead of Aragorn.

"Haven't I seen you someplace?" muttered Faramir. "I know: you hang out at that seedy coffeehouse where everybody says that the war against Sauron was all Aragorn and Elrond's fault because Aragorn and Elrond are prejudiced against one-eyed demon lords!"

"Why, that's right!" Eowyn chimed in. "Your crowd also wants to prohibit Dwarves from mining coal, and force all children to be taught to speak Entish whether they live near Ents or not!"

"What can you possibly have to offer," Faramir demanded, "to convince us that YOU have any right to be King?"

The stranger smiled broadly. "I'm for CHANGE!"

Faramir and Eowyn suddenly smiled back. "Oh, that's different! Why didn't you say so sooner?" "Anyone who says the word 'change' is obviously meant to be King!"

So, before the day was over, Aragorn had been deposed, and the stranger was made King of Gondor.
 
"WAIT A MINUTE! THIS ISN'T HOW TOLKIN WROTE IT!" Merry said, running into the scean.

River Tam came with ehr crazy ninja skills and kicked the new king off the trone and replaced him with Aragorn then left the scean doing back flips at highs speeds to get back to Serenity.
 
Meanwhile, Emmett the Western gunfighter had gone to Manhattan to try to meet with television networks about doing a TV series of "Silverado."

Approaching one of the network office buildings, Emmett saw a young woman headed for the entrance also. Therefore he held the door open for her. She responded by screaming, "PIG! How dare you condescend to me like that!"--and kicked his shins.

A second young woman approached; this time Emmett decided to let her do her own door-opening. She stopped at the entry and screamed, "PIG! How dare you disregard me like that!"--then kicked his shins.

A third young woman approached, and Emmett said, "Miss, would YOU mind opening this door for ME?" She responded by screaming, "PIG! How dare you harass me like that!"--and kicked his shins.

When a fourth woman approached, Emmett didn't wait for her to say or do anything; instead, he drew his Colt .45 and shot her between the eyes. "Don't worry," he told the corpse. "You'll be alive again in no time, because every post on this thread gets contradicted."
 
A spaceship landed. The space alien emerged, announcing, "I have come to reveal to you inferior Earthlings that it was really my planet which secretly gave your primitive race all the ideas that built your civilization!"

"Get in line," said a bored bystander. "What with all the Doctor Who, Star Trek, Stargate and Babylon Five programs, you've got at least four hundred other super-aliens waiting their turn to make the same claim."
 
But then everyone gave the Alien a pass to get to the front of the line when he started singing:

Many miles away there's a shadow on the door
Of a cottage on the shore
Of a dark Scottish lake...............
 
At Saint Bridget's Children's Hospital, a nurse who doubled as a clown put on her makeup and costume to raise the spirits of precious, innocent, suffering children. That was her intention, anyway...but then the Clowns Union had her arrested and fined for non-union clowning.
 
Suddenly, in a DARING new plot twist which had NEVER been tried before in ANY story, the secret agents discovered that what really lay behind all terrorist attacks was A NAZI REVIVAL!!
 
But of course the secret agents, who had been hired during a "progressive" regime who would hire anybody or anything that had a nose in order to give equal opportunities to everybody, failed to notice that the supposed "Nazi" group was actually the Three Stooges, with Moe dressed up as Hitler, rehearsing their next scene on Moronia.
 
Completely ignoring all that was happening in the various settings around it, a hoard of hedgehogs stampeded down main street, except for one bald one who found it all rather pointless.
 
But suddenly the bald hedgehog found a saddle being placed on his back by a very small six-year-old girl, who rode away on her new steed to pursue a quest which only she understood.
 
Suddenly, they are all randomly transported into Fawlty Towers.
"What's going on?" Basil Fawlty shouts, "I'm trying to run a hotel here! What's all this riff-raff?" And tries to shoo the herd of hedgehogs out of his lobby.
 
Copperfox HIMSELF steps into the action, long enough to say to Span-Inq: "Bless you for bringing in Fawlty Towers! My first wife Mary used to get a huge kick out of that show; and her life was hard enough that any humor was precious."

Then, to avoid excessive seriousness, Copperfox runs off to the set of another British comedy Mary enjoyed: "Are You Being Served?"
 
"Did someone ask for service?" Jeeves pronounced, enunciating each word carefully and biting off the ends. "I'm sorry, but Mr. Wooster isn't in right now, he'll no doubt be pleased to hear that you came by."

He nudged several hedgehogs out the door with a push-broom, then wiped the sill with an immaculate handkerchief.
 
Captain Peacock came in just then, stepping over the hedgehogs, and said, "I just saw the most remarkable thing outside! This Yankee chap in cowboy clothes, calling himself Emmett, came up the street on a horse. He saw five yobbos committing a certain unspecified form of assault upon a teenage girl in broad daylight--and he completely disregarded the laws against intervention! He actually SHOT the unspecified kind of assailants dead! Of course, he was arrested by the twenty bobbies who'd been watching the unspecified form of assault; they arrested the girl too, for resisting the unspecified kind of assailants. But what a strange thing--civilians actually resisting criminals!"
 
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Aslan appeared from somewhere, telling the cops to release Emmett and the girl he had rescued. The girl promptly stole Emmett's horse--the second time in this thread a girl had stolen a horse from Emmett so she could go on a quest that only she understood.

"Never mind the horse," said Aslan to the gunslinger. "I'll fly you to where I want you to go. I want you to spread the word that I'm offering a special service to roleplay characters. Anyone who's a vampire can come to Me, and I'll change them into normal humans. Being Jesus Christ, I can do that sort of thing."

"If that's what You want, Sir. When it's done, though, is it okay if I change my name to Roland and go searching for the Dark Tower in an alternate dimension?"

"I'll get back to you on that one," said Aslan.
 
Suddenly a big flash and out of nowhere a Delorean appeared. Marty mcFly stepped out together with Doc Emmett Brown.

" Come Marty...we must change our future! I see a very dark cloud coming upon us"

" But Doc....isn't it a bit late to change our future now? I mean we only went back 15 minutes in time"

" No, it's never late. Come on..I saw a big Lion walking here and soon he will eat us all!"

" Help Doc!!! There he is!!! AAAHH!!"

Aslan walked by and looked at Marty and Doc Brown

"BOOO....are you afraid now?"

" But Doc...he's talking! A talking Lion!"

" Hmmm...Marty...I have heard it before? Doctor Doolittle? Junglebook? Where did I hear Lion's talk?"

" Come on Doc! Don't tell me you think it's Aslan!"

" But I am Aslan"

" Doc...did you hear that Doc? He's-s-s-s saying he's Aslan!"

" Wait a minute...did you say Aslan? But then we are save Marty!!"

" Yes, you are save. I'm Aslan and I don't eat humans or any kind of meat at all. I'm here to help you. Now look, that Delorean is a nice car but in Back to the Future III it will be destroyed. Of course the stuntmen will do the work but you better should make a train Emmett. It's more faster and bigger and you won't get that much attention when you live in the 1800's"

" Hey Doc! Did you hear that? Aslan said you should make a train!"

" A Train? Why not a boat?"

" Because at the end of BTTF III you willo return with a train so that's why you should focus on trains".

" Are you saying this movie will get a part III? Does this mean we will also have part II?"

" Of course my son. You can't have an episode III without having episode II".

" You hear this Michael? THis movie is going to be a blockbuster!"

" Yes Christopher! We are going to be heroes!!"

Director interrupted both men.

" Michael J Fox and Christopher LLoyd...can you please continue your roles please?"

" We are going to be famous!! Hahahahaha!"
 
The gunslinger from "Silverado" was still with Aslan. He took an instant liking to Doc because they had the same first name--which was actually a variant on the name Emeth, a name borne by someone Aslan thought highly of.

While they all chatted, gossip reporters a few blocks away were sure they saw a man who looked like Copperfox having a candlelight dinner with a woman who looked like Mrs. Gil-Galad Took; but both of them denied it when interviewed on television.
 
The thirteen year old girl with auburn hair and violet and silver eyes, who's sol quest which only she understood was to make peice between the Mongols and their rivals, who was untouched by any pies flying past her, who's horse was trule a unicorn, rode onto the ice rink, her unicorn doing a perfect slide into the middle interupting the basket weaving class.

"That was most impolite!" Jadis said and tired to turn the girl into stone. But her unicorn sprouted wings and flew off into the distance to find a new sol quest which onyl she understood.

Meanwhile...

Wolverine and Cyclops continued to play cards in a never ending game.

MEANWHILE....

Jayne sat with his arms crossed pouting about his brain being gone.

EVEN MORE MEANWHILE....

A flower popped out of the ground making a small 'poop' sound.
 
Shortangel, TDL's resident botanist, carefully dug up and potted the new flower--getting away with it just in time, before a giant Monty Python foot stomped on the spot where it had sprouted.
 
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