Roleplay By Monologues

[The Spanish Inquisition]

A purple Duck pops out of the ground. Is this everyone's favorite Dmitri the Duck from the Insane asylum? No, it's his demented evil brother: Smerdyakov! He smirks twistedly. He seems to be muttering to himself:
"BloodBloodbloodblood. Muuuurderrrrr,"
He paces back and forth, glancing threateningly at Our Friendly Neighborhood Copperfox! *jarring cord*

Me: Smerdyakov, why are you staring at CF?

Smerdyakov: Just admiring his, um..shoes. *sneaks off in a corner to plot*

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Alice holds her notes and watches the duck. She sneaks over to Papa Joe and tells him to keep an eye on the duck....

 

[theorangejello]

Toj come on, notices teh duck

haha duckie...
weirdo...


starts to sing ! -

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Alice then sits down and begins watching the duck and taking notes on it.

 

[Copperfox]

Дедушка Иосиф, поблагодарив тех, кто предупредил его, идёт следом за уткой-самцем. Догонив его, моряк в отставке говорит: "Смердьяков, я приглашаю вас делать всё, что вам угодно. Эта нитка по-прежнему нуждается хоть в некотором противоречии, чтобы первоначальная юмористическая цель не была забыта."


Then, to satisfy the Mods that he isn't saying anything racist or obscene, he translates:

Papa Joe, having thanked those who warned him, follows the male duck. Overtaking him, the retired sailor says, "Smerdyakov, I invite you to do whatever you like. This thread still needs at least some contradiction, so that its original comical purpose won't be forgotten."

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

Smerdyakov looks at Joe, evilly.

Smerdyakov: Great. NOW how am I supposed to go through with it? Just you wait. Soon, I'll RELEASE MY SECRET WEAPON! *evil cackle*

Smerdyakov sneaks off to visit Dmitri the Duck.

Smerdyakov: Hello, brother.

Dmitri: *quack*

Smerdyakov:

Dmitri: *quack*

Smerdyakov leaves Dmitri and returns to stare evilly at Copperfox, following so cloesly behind him that CF barely has room to move without squashing him.

 

[Lady of Narnia]

"Smerdyakov!" Alice says. "What are you doing??" She takes more notes on the evil little duck.

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

"I'm not doing anything, Alice," says Smerdyakov, "I'm just admiring Joe's shoes. They're nice," Smerdyakov stares intently at Joe's shoes, as if they have something to do with his "secret weapon"

Me: "Smerdy, why your sudden interst in shoes?"
Smerdyakov: *shrugs* I just like them, that's all. *smirk*
Me: "Oh. You're a weird duck"
Smerdyakov: *smirk* maybe a little
Me: Why do you keep smirking?
Smerdyakov: OH, no reason. *smirk*
Me: STOP it, Smrerdy!
Smerdyakov: *smirk*

The Inquisition (me) watches Smerdyakov intently. Smerdyakov continues to stare at Joe's shoes.

 

[theorangejello]

toj picks up the duck

you stop looking at shoes

puts him in a cage

there happy!

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Alice continues to watch the duck just as intently as the duck is watching Papa Joe's shoes. She takes notes. Just then, Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum pop out of nowhere.

Me (Alice): What are YOU doing here??
Dee: Oh nothing....
Dum: What are YOU doing?
Me: Taking notes on the weird duck that is stalking Papa Joe.
Dee: He looks like he's staring at a pair of shoes....
Dum: .....not stalking Mr. Joe.
Me: Yeah but -
Dee: Don't worry about it.....
Dum: ....Would you like to see us fight a battle?
Me: ummmmmm.........

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

Smerdyakov runs over to Dee and Dum.

"Hey, boys!" he yells, "I wondered when you would get here! I need your help," *lowers voice "I need to get rid of the old man"

Me: WHAT?! You can't do that!

Smerdyakov: You heard that?

Me: Well, I did make you up, so I can hear everything you do. Why do you hate CF, Smerdy? *takes out notebook, like psycaitrist*

Smerdyakov: I don't. *smirk*

Me: Then....why?

Smerdyakov: Not answering. *smirk* *stares at shoes some more*

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Me: You want Papa Joe's shoes?! You'd get rid of him and take his SHOES??! Evil, heartless duck!! That's MY Papa Joe!! I've already lost one Grandfather, I'm NOT going to loose another one! *stares at Duck angrily*

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

Me: You want Papa Joe's shoes?! You'd get rid of him and take his SHOES??! Evil, heartless duck!! That's MY Papa Joe!! I've already lost one Grandfather, I'm NOT going to loose another one! *stares at Duck angrily*

Smerdyakov: I've never had shoes of my own! I just want...shoes. *goes into epileptic fit and lies stiff on the ground*

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Me: *eyes get really wide* If he wanted shoes he could have asked and we could have bought some for him......

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

Smerdyakov: *pops up as if nothing happened* So, can I have Joe's shoes, then? Pretty please? *puppy dog eyes*

Me: But you've got tiny duck feet. Joe's got human-sized feet. (I think). I doubt they'd fit you.

Smerdyakov: But...they're so....pretty.

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Me: hmmmmmmm........ Maybe we can find some that fit you and that look like that.....
Dee: Where will we find shoes like that?
Dum: Who knows...
Me: *whispers* Shut up, you two! We'll find some shoes for him!

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

Me: Yeah, he might take a kids size.
Dee: Do they make kids shoes like that?
Me: IDK, what do these shoes look like?
Smerdyakov: They're pretty...

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Me: *takes notes on shoes and makes a drawing of them so we know what they look like*

 

[The Spanish Inquisition]

Smerdyakov: Do they come in blue? *smirks*

 

[Lady of Narnia]

Me: Why does he always smirk like that? It's creeping me out!