Sonnets Here, In-House

I'm not a by-blood poet,but I do like to write it.
This one's for Glenburne,because I'm pretty sure she's british and I LOVE ENGLAND! Here's an ode to London and the other things I adore about the country,

Ahhh good London,
why is it so sweet to me?
is it thine district of shaftesbury?
or thine dialect so fun?

Your Queen,though on in years
is great in royalty
God bless her,God save her,God keep her from all fears!
I too bless the the dame and Glenburne also thee!

Mr. Barnes also is another thing i savor
about your rainy country
that I'll soon be coming to see
Him at home in his lil' house on 55-59 shaftesbury
Twas him who sparked my passion
for Great Britain
who loves 80's Fashion
and is why that I am
absolutely smitten!

Glenburne,a note for you,
I believe that it is true,
that YOU are from the lovely country
That is so much adore.

For when you posted
that you saw
Mr. Dorian gray
You said "Cinema" instead of theatre
and then i shouted "hooray!"

Long I sought for a lovely brit
to ask many a question
and to praise her awesome country
and shower her with affection

So after all these praises for,
London and you my dear,
Would you want to be my friend
and teach me about England?​
 
That was good free verse; it seemed to flow naturally from you. Note that "thine" is not used when the thing "owned" immediately follows it in the sentence and starts with a consonant. Thus, it should be "THY district," and so on.

But now, as a public illustration of the sonnet style, I will show how a portion of what you wrote here can be MADE into a sonnet. So, N-M-Dust, imagine that what follows is yourself speaking. Note that, in order to keep the rhythm consistent, I treat the name Dorian as if it were a two-syllable name, "Dor-yan."


From Queen Elizabeth to Mister Barnes,
Things from the Empire have me smitten now.
I wish to travel there, and taste the charms
Of rainy weather in Great Britain now.

I wish to see the house on Shaftesbury
Of that hot actor who stirs passion up;
I wish to see the homes of royalty,
And hold a piece of Eighties fashion up.

Glenburne, my love of Britain takes you in,
For when you told us you saw "Dorian Gray,"
You said a "cinema" was where you'd been;
This gave the clue that made me shout "Hurray!"

With London, you get my affection, too;
On British themes please let me question you.
 
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Narniamoondust said:
I'm not a by-blood poet,but I do like to write it.
This one's for Glenburne,because I'm pretty sure she's british and I LOVE ENGLAND! Here's an ode to London and the other things I adore about the country,
Click to expand...

:) Thank you for the thought, although I think you may have me confused with another forumer, since I don't think I've posted in the Dorian thread. I'm American, although many of my ancestors came from the British Isles; but there are a good number of forumers from other countries, if you wanted to ask them questions. Tarkaan's from England, I think, among others.

Again, thanks for the thought. Your poem made me smile!
 
Good gracious! How silly of me! Good gracious good gracious good gracious!
It IS easy to confuse forumers isn't it?
Oh and thank you for fixing my post copperfox:eek:I thought this was just poems. I never really understood what sonnet meant and so i just rushed headfirst into it,(i have that problem:eek:)
I believe it was Princey i meant this poem for,your avvies must've confused me.
But I'm glad you all like it. hee hee.
You guys should tutor me in the ways of writing,I prefer it better from you people
 
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I don't regard it as "fixing" your poem, because AS free verse it was just fine. I was merely showing you another poetic path you could take. If everyone today were doing sonnets, I would probably be promoting free verse; but since everybody today writes free verse, I promote formal, rhymed poetry.
 
I don't mean fixed like as in "Hey you screwed up my thing!"
I mean friendly like, "Oh thanks! That's how it should've gone! That looks awesome!"
Also,do you like tigers? I noticed that my closest buds on this site have the most in common with me.
I was considering YOU one of my closer friends because we talk alot but maybe you're more of a mentor...i dunno.
:eek:
 
No need to define it too narrowly. I can just be the guy you talk to who's older than dirt. And as long as they're not munching on people, I think tigers are pretty cool. How about clicking on my tiger graphic and reading the story it takes you to? "Southward the Tigers" was the first major piece of writing I ever did on The Dancing Lawn. It takes place in the "true" Narnian world, less than twenty years after Aslan had created that world.
 
How great is our God, the rejected cornerstone
All stars in the universe, bow at his throne.
How great is our God, in all of his Fame
That each one of us, he still calls by name.
How great is our God, he shares our pain
and its by his help that we stay at all sane.
How great is our God, that he's our friend
beyond when time itself does end.
 
Copperfox said:
No need to define it too narrowly. I can just be the guy you talk to who's older than dirt. And as long as they're not munching on people, I think tigers are pretty cool. How about clicking on my tiger graphic and reading the story it takes you to? "Southward the Tigers" was the first major piece of writing I ever did on The Dancing Lawn. It takes place in the "true" Narnian world, less than twenty years after Aslan had created that world.
Click to expand...

I would read it if i had time. Being an author is busy for me and so i haven't much time to read any stories.
I was supposed to be reading mewsie's first book too but i got side-tracked.
I promise i will take some time off to read everyone's books.
Also,cool! Another tiger fan,although i don't think you're at my level.:D
Whenever anyone sees something with Tigers,Ben barnes,narnia,or england on it they call my name and i come running.
But I PROMISE to read your story sometime,if you do me a favor.
Can you spread the word about my contest i'm holding in the Lampost section.
Got there and check it out maybe you can help me
 
To Narniamoondust


When I was young, one time some friends and I
Pretended we were in the Civil War--
But at the same time, we had planes to fly!
So, mixing stories up's been done before.

Provided that "real" Narnia remains,
Far-out alternatives deserve no blame;
I, Copperfox, can hardly bring complaints,
When you're so cool as to call me a flame.

Note, I will still teach kids reality,
Which outranks fun; but fun is not a crime.
You pointed out your trailer thread to me;
So I will say, I hope some folks take time

To join your contest, though not serious,
With functions which I find mysterious.
 
Great sonnet!:D
I also find the functions of trailer-making a bit mysterious, otherwise I'd have been the first to volunteer for Narniamoondust's.:p
 
Copperfox said:
To Narniamoondust


When I was young, one time some friends and I
Pretended we were in the Civil War--
But at the same time, we had planes to fly!
So, mixing stories up's been done before.

Provided that "real" Narnia remains,
Far-out alternatives deserve no blame;
I, Copperfox, can hardly bring complaints,
When you're so cool as to call me a flame.

Note, I will still teach kids reality,
Which outranks fun; but fun is not a crime.
You pointed out your trailer thread to me;
So I will say, I hope some folks take time

To join your contest, though not serious,
With functions which I find mysterious.
Click to expand...

WOOT!!! Awesomesauce.
 
Umm I don't quite get everyone's complaints.
What exactly is the problem?
Also to copperfox, that Sonnet is beautiful but a bit confusing for me,what are you talking about with planes and what not?
 
No problemo, I'll just spell it out.

During the American Civil War, 1861-1865, there were no such things as airplanes. Thus, to imagine airplanes existing then would be a major step of fantasy, going against known historical facts. Nonetheless, in my boyhood, my friends and I once played that we were PARATROOPERS IN THE CIVIL WAR, carried to the battleground by transport aircraft. This was a case of pretending something because we just felt like it.

The Chronicles of Narnia are fiction, but they are an established and famous body of fiction. Thus, their contents can be thought of as "facts," which must be taken into account if anyone writes a story which claims to take place "in" the world Mr. Lewis created. When you imagine Caspian having a wife named Tigerlily who ISN'T Ramandu's daughter, this is a serious departure from the "facts." This is why I wrote my sonnet. I was saying that you changing things for Caspian is like my pretending there were airplanes in the 1860's. I was saying that it's okay for you and me to have these alternate imaginings, as long as we remember that the true, original things are still there someplace.

No one was actually complaining about anything.

Now does it make sense to you?
 
Copperfox said:
No

Now does it make sense to you?
Click to expand...



Yes! YES! YES! And that was very sweet of you to write it.:)
(by complaints i meant about the trailer thing)
Also,yes there are the true "facts" in my world too.
No one can touch them though. It's in Twaddle where no "demoth" (my slang for Andrew adamson or michael apted) can destroy them.
I treat it like heaven sort of,because all the "True" heroes of narnia reside there all together. Sort of like how in medieval literature the describe how heroes go to live with King arthur or something I can't remember exactly.
So basically i've created a NEW world that is linked to an OLD world.
 
Long before your time, there was a sci-fi author named H. Beam Piper, who wrote a series of novels in which it was revealed that there were endless parallel Earths. You might, for instance, travel from the Earth we know to one in which World War Two took longer for the Allies to win...and from there to one in which World War Two was a stalemate...and from there to one in which the bad guys WON World War Two, but the conquered nations freed themselves a few years later...and from there to one in which the bad guys were still ruling the world at the time you arrived.

The hero of Piper's stories was a Pennsylvania state trooper who passed through a dimensional gateway, landing in a place which still was Pennsylvania in physical geography...but had a VERY different society, one in which science was not nearly as far advanced as in our world. So he was able to teach his modern knowledge to the people who befriended him, enabling them to defeat their enemies.

But I guess that's enough sci-fi on the Sonnets thread. What you wrote just reminded me of it.
 
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