Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

YOUR AUTHOR HAS NOT BEEN ABLE TO FIND anyplace where he already described the brave middle-aged Corporal Dolph Bluntgrin being liberated from his undeserved imprisonment. So, retconning if need be, I now state that the woman Subsoila, who could change into a sort of giant mole, sprang him out of the slammer. He and the elderly schoolteacher Neverditziya have been hiding out in a cave.

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

Swimmer Moon and her daughter were air-freighting Tuxedo Dash and Masked Biker, looking for bad guys. Sure enough, made to order, a marching formation of evil robots was following a broad highway in the general direction of Castle Greyhair. There were fifty-eight ranks, each thirteen robots across; and at the head flew a banner which said, "24th Evil Robot Regiment."

Not living beings, not even the way some robots were sentient. These definitely were just machines. Fair game to destroy, EVEN under cartoon rules. For openers, to loosen their formation, Swimmer Moon dropped her husband straight down onto the center of the regiment. Landing with his feet perfectly on one robot's shoulders, he smashed a steel rod left and right, caving in the heads of the robots on each side. Then, like following stepping stones, he randomly hopped from robot to robot, whacking heads and beating down gun barrels. While the battle-bots were trying to make sense of an attack they had never been programmed to face, Tuxedo Dash made it to one edge of the formation, and leaped onto the back of Masked Biker's motorcycle. Once the men were in the clear, Swimmer Moon and Chipmunkyusa cut loose with circuit-frying energy attacks, until not one robot was left at full performance.

A man who looked to be a little older than Weapons-Man came running up from a hiding place. "Hello! You must be on the side of Mighty Male!"

"Yes, we are!" Masked Biker answered. "We come from a planet your heroes have communicated with!"

"I'm Dolph Bluntgrin, a retired solder from the King's army! I followed Teerifica during my last six years of active duty, and I can tell you, the woman in charge now IS NOT the Teerifica I remember!"

"You're quite right,:" said Swimmer Moon, landing near Dolph. 'The real Teerifica came back with us, and she's probably fighting the impostor now!"

The corporal displayed some sort of tool case. "If you can help me reprogram and restart some of these robots, they can help the cause. Not just themselves; in my town there are some good-quality particle-beam weapons, not serving any purpose where they are. Four or five robots could get them detached from their fixed mounts, so they can be driven to where you have use for them."

Masked Biker showed a tool case of his own. "I think we can make that happen."

Dolph nodded. "Once the particle cannons are free of their mounts, we can round up some Workasauruses to move them to where aircraft can pick them up for deployment."

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
And at Castle Greyhair:

Clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang, clang clang......
 
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Copperfox has been kept running by real-world responsibilities. No joke. Therefore, it's become difficult for me to keep track of my own characters. I think I've given all my currently-covered heroes things to do, but I'm not sure.

Here's a stop-gap solution. First, assume that the heroes who just met Dolph Bluntgrin find a magical way to transport the particle-beam weapons to where they're needed, after Workasauruses get the weapons handily lined up. Next, I'll toss in extra monsters. Call them the Strangle-Dangles; they use nooses to choke or trip up adversaries. Any hero who is underused, can be assumed to be busy defeating a gang of Strangle-Dangles.

I don't want this arc to be entirely a joke, but neither do I feel like killing off any of the currently-spotlighted good guys. As a compromise, I'll say that some heroes did get badly wounded. For sure, Bahavish Ogoshi, Combatalot and Anteater Woman will get hurt. Maybe Weapons-Man too; and Lucy Luminous might have gotten stung by one or two of those venomous insects. Meanwhile, I'm trying to find what I said was the actual name of the large female Snarkonnen/Lazytaxie Face Twister who is False Teerifica.

I absolutely will depict in full Sorcery Lass' confrontation with (of course) Soreheadmort, and the rest of the duel of the Teerificas, plus action involving Skamartistor.
 
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WE NOW FREEZE TIME IN THE HE-MAN DERIVATIVE CARTOONIVERSE, JUST LONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A FAMILY-FRIENDLY LOOK AT SOME RECENTLY WEDDED COUPLES. WE'LL SOON RETURN TO THE TWO TERRIFICAS, RIGHT IN MID-CLANG.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Zuha, Twishdok, Chubkripdak, Series-Of-Gestures, Poradsimu, Gramsuli and the rest have the situation under control," Nolarivu hissed. "Deezla and several other Sisters have already come over to our way of thinking. Besides, you nearly got chopped into sausage in your PREVIOUS mission. You don't have to do everything yourself; even Trace and Sharon have special powers now. You can turn to a new mission, starting today: the mission of LOVING ME, thereby setting an example for all energy-shapers everywhere."

"I want nothing else now, mega-honey. And I only need to look at Trace, Bess and their children, to know how to do the true-love part."

"You already do that perfectly, John. Tomorrow, though, you need to do the moral-authority part, meeting with Da Da Da Da-Da Da-Da-Cough-Cough at the hospital."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Do you have any clue to possible surviving relatives of yours on Bathtubmir? Or schoolmates?" asked Only-One.

"As a matter of fact," replied Massage, "half a year before the violence that changed my life, two younger friends of mine, a brother and sister named Habgun and Wiltrava, relocated with their parents to Planet Poxkrut, where the father had a work opportunity. As far as I know, Poxkrut has managed to keep out of the war against the Empire of Evil Badness. There is a health hazard, though: large areas of the planet suffer air pollution due to mining operations. But if we go there, breathing protection is widely available."

"I can live with that, sweetheart. Let's go there."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Wilma, have you heard any of the ice miners blabbering about my weird new gift?"

"Not so far," said Duke Diskoduck's new bride. (Since, as has been mentioned before, the bridegroom didn't really have a proper last name, people around them were winging it. In the four days since their wedding, Cakebunders had variously addressed her as Duchess Dearthing, Duchess Duck, Duchess Disko, and Captain Duchess.) "Have you decided if you'll tell ANYONE who didn't already know?"

"Can't make up my mind. On one hand, I at least now have SOME sort of ability no one else has. On the other hand, it's so narrowly specialized an ability, that if I even bring it up, whoever I tell about it it may think I'm just trying to compensate for my general dullness."

"Then you'll probably be more comfortable still keeping it quiet-- though I don't consider you dull. Keep on developing your talent as a diplomat; no one can say that IT'S unimportant."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Frank Stevia, Chief Medical Officer for Bubblewrap Five, came out from the station at his first opportunity, to expand his knowledge by helping regional physicians to treat injuries and ailments among the former slaves recently liberated from Admiral Skrawn's power structure. Somewhere amid this work, he had a chance to confer with Noherra and Snack about facilitating their having children.

"Have you heard the expression in genetic science, 'mixed dominance'?" he asked them. Noherra understood the concept, so she told Snack, "It's when a child shows a COMPROMISE between traits of the parents. If a tall man marries a short woman, their children might be right midway in height between the parents. When humans marry Tryyurlucks, the skin pigmentation of their children almost always ends up splitting the difference between their parents' colors of skin."

Frank nodded, then said, "But for you, there's one genetic point which probably can't compromise; it has to be one way or the other. Your children must EITHER have head-tails, OR have scalp hair."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

And, on the world of Seedubb-- Harpy Nickelworth gave a press conference, with top officers of the York-Jersey State Police joining her to confirm the legitimacy of the occasion.

"Ladies, gentlemen, and folks like ME: this is the second most wonderful day in my life. The most-most wonderful day was when magic folks led me out of badness and made it possible for me to have my very own knight in shining armor." She gazed at her husband Alphonse, with whom she HAD NOT REALLY had a falling out. "Today is wonderful because now I can QUIT pretending that I broke up with my darling-est darling. That was all a trick, which he knew about, to let me do some undercover investigating. My part is finished now: it ends with all my new gang members being granted suspended sentences, provided they follow the rules of a Dwayne Foundation halfway house. Mister Dwayne, bless his heart, will make sure they get all the help they need to go all straight-and-narrow.

"As of that, I am RETIRING from comicbooky adventures. From now on, apart from keeping my hand in with psychiatry, my life is about giving sons and daughters to my Alphonse."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
 
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WE NOW RETURN to the two Teerificas, at Castle Greyhair on Planet Alwaysurnia.

Clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang....

Okay, they're busy, let's have a look at Sorcery Lass.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

As the evil immortal Soreheadmort came into view in the air above the merely-sort-of-immortal Sorcery Lass, he felt a need for caution: caution regarding his reputation among evil immortals. Right now, Sorcery Lass not only was restored to her full health and vigor, but was at her place of power. If a merely-sort-of-immortal woman could EVER kick the butt of a full-out evil immortal, it would be right now and right here. Soreheadmort did not relish the idea of himself being laughed at by the likes of Kuth-Hula-Hoop, Screendoormamu and Jaheg-Jorod; so he tried to shift this encounter onto the lower-stakes ground of a manipulative argument.

"How can a woman like you put up with such geeky, childish types as you're associating with? You deserve better! Don't you want to be cool and hip? Don't you want to be the star of the story, with top billing?"

This was as far as his attempt to cause discord between Sorcery Lass and the other good guys got, before she hit him with a lightning bolt which really stung. So he went crazy. Meteors, giant hailstones, acid rain, sandstorms, and six or seven actual kitchen sinks, rained down at the magical heroine. When she held out against these things, the fiend tried a wider bombardment, endangering people in all directions.

But suddenly, Swimmer Pluto appeared, using a time-shift. The effect of her time-shift was to delay all the harmful stuff Soreheadmort was raining down-- so that by the time the bombardment would have hit someone, the PLANET had moved farther in its orbit, and the falling stuff was left behind in outer space, not hitting anyone.

Encouraged by Swimmer Pluto's assistance, Sorcery Lass shouted the great words of power: "GOOD IS BETTER THAN EVIL, BECAUSE IT'S NICER!" Hit hard by this counterattack, Soreheadmort gave it up, and fled to another dimension.

Meanwhile, Battery-Cat was in a serious fight with a huge wild-boar-like monster in the service of Skamartistor. Blood flowed, trees were uprooted, and the good beast was in actual danger..... until Mighty Male shouted at him: "Battery, time to assault!"

Battery-Cat caught the pun, and it rallied his fighting spirit.

A large supply of bacon and ribs would be available tomorrow.
 
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While Mighty Male was battling a sixty-foot-long snake all by himself, the swords wielded by the two Teerificas both broke near the hilt at the same instant.

The two women had not been trying to strike EACH OTHER all this time: not even a non-life-threatening shoulder wound. Not quite able to shake off the comicbook mindset where edged weapons were concerned, they had simply been trying to shatter the other one's blade. With both swords broken at the same time, they stared silently at each other for a long moment.

Then False came back to herself, and punched Actual in the face. Reeling backward three steps, Actual recovered, and her counter-punch sent False reeling back four steps. Five steps, six steps, seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen. Suddenly, Actual Teerifica got in an EXTRA punch, driving False a whole fifty feet back This much boxing somehow left their identically beautiful faces unmarked, but they still both FELT the pain of the exchanged blows.

And the momentary fifty-foot separation, as they both simultaneously realized, allowed for a yelling charge, to be followed by some sort of gripping. When they came together, it was in test-of-strength style: each woman's hands going palm to palm against the other woman's hands, with fingers interlinked. Now they pushed, which was a lot less painful to them both.

Also more equally matched. Actual pushed False nine feet back, False pushed Actual nine feet back, Actual pushed False nine feet back, False pushed Actual nine feet back, Actual pushed False nine feet back, False pushed Actual nine feet back, Actual pushed False nine feet back, False pushed Actual nine feet back, Actual pushed False nine feet back, False pushed Actual nine feet back, Actual pushed False.... This was destined to continue long enough that we'll be able to look at some other clashes without missing the outcome of this one.

Elsewhere on Alwaysurnia, Dolph Bluntgrin's crew had brought their particle cannons to a position from which they could fire at Naughtygator Cosmodart's ship. The particle beams weren't strong enough to wreck a mothership created by Spaced-Out Guild technology; but they did make it unsafe for the enemy to launch any more troop shuttles from orbit. And Cosmodart, like most Naughtygators, was a yellow-livered coward-- so, without consulting Skamartistor, he fled into deeper space.

Around the same time, superheroine Subsoila and funny-type Storko helped the Anoxian heroine Surfenbirda to find and rescue her imprisoned long-lost love Tunakassrol, thus allowing a painless resolution to the Mighty Male / Teerifica / Surfenbirda triangle. Storko even managed to send a magical vision to Tunafishla over on Anoxia, revealing to her the just-uncovered fact that her cousin HAD NOT been killed by "bigoted merperson-ophobes." Rather, Tunakassrol had been secretly arrested by Crowdhack's enforcers for questioning the legitimacy of The Mob. He and several others like him had been sent to Alwaysurnia, as a cooperative overture to Skamartistor. They had been put to forced labor at bad-guy projects under the Dismal Sea.

Tunafishla had never blamed Surfenbirda for Tunakassrol's presumed death, or she would have gotten a gun and shot the good girl. Now that Tunafishla knew it was HER OWN side which made off with her kinsman, she grabbed her first opportunity to defect to the side of She-Wow. Being slightly acquainted with Interrupta, Tunafishla was pleased to learn that the female inventor had also turned good.

As soon as Surfenbirda had also happily welcomed her former enemy to the side of justice and kindness, the now-enlightened ex-villainess next began giving thought to how she might persuade Katlittura to switch sides also.

 
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Specularkus and Negafemina, the two Lazytaxie chemists currently serving Skamartistor, dared not try to fight even rank-and-file good guys head-on; but they kept creating difficulties for the side of good, by using their "Animosity Tree" formula to make civilians here and there get into senseless brawls with each other, forcing some good guys to divert their efforts toward preventing injuries in the riots.

If I ever said earlier that Negafemina and Specularkus were captured by good guys, just assume that Skamartistor set them free. The evil couple continued inciting anarchy until they were captured (re-captured?) by Subsoila. Meanwhile, I repeat that you can assume that any good guys not otherwise accounted for are busy defeating bunches of Strangle-Dangle monsters and evil footsoldiers.

But the villains were not giving up. Ickylinn understood that she was one of the very few evildoers around who could effectively fight the Spacer Swimmers. Being quite smart, she knew that she could more easily render them ineffective then kill them. She began her counterattack by carefully analyzing Swimmer Pluto's time-and-space power-- then casting a spell to sabotage that power. Suddenly, Pluto found herself running in circles in the middle of a field, unable to do anything useful. Next, Ickylinn put a spell on Swimmer Jupiter, who was possibly the least sophisticated of the adult Swimmers. Jupiter found herself doing a sort of Hulk-out: not harming anyone (Jupiter could not be made actually evil), but wasting her time and strength pointlessly destroying non-living objects. With a remaining bit of energy, Ickylinn pulled off a spell which didn't require much effort: she made Swimmer Moon RESUME her unhelpful chanting.

Chipmunkyusa went to work to dispel the enchantment hampering her mother. She would be able to achieve this, given time. She might be able to restore Swimmers Pluto and Jupiter as well; but for now, ALL Spacer Swimmers on this planet were neutralized as a combat force. The same could be said about Ickylinn-- but FOUR powerful good girls placed on the sidelines, for ONE powerful bad girl on the sidelines, was a highly advantageous trade for Skamartistor.

The wicked sorceress was exhausted, but huge numbers of Skamartistor's personnel were safe now from being overpowered by supernatural effects, as long as they stayed away from Sorcery Lass. As earlier indicated, many of the strongest good guys had by now been wounded; but rank-and-file Alwaysurnians rallied to fight the rank-and-file bad guys.

Aware of the new setback suffered by her own side, Sorcery Lass teleported Mighty Male to where he could challenge Skamartistor in person. Easily knocking out half a dozen miscellaneous monsters who tried to bar his path, Mighty Male shouted, "All your secret maneuvers have been exposed now, bonehead! Even your alliance with characters loosely derived from the novels of Frank Herbert! All that remains is for Teerifica to arrest her evil doppelganger, and for me to place YOU under arrest!"

Skamartistor used his own reserve magic to materialize a suit of armor around himself, and an impressive battleaxe in his hands. "Then let THIS be the most utterly-last-and-absolutely-final battle we've had since last year's ultimately laster-than-last battle!!"

They charged furiously at each other, and the noise of their collision was heard by the two Teerificas thousands of miles away.
 
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In front of Castle Greyhair, there was a raw new trench in the soil, thirteen feet long, four feet deep, and five feet wide at the upper edge. Scuffling booted feet had dug this ditch over a period of almost three hours, following around twenty-five minutes of swordfighting and fistfighting. Two broken swords lay nearby.

Waist-deep in the trench, too tired to yell at each other anymore, Teerifica and her copycat gasped and panted, half-consciously keeping up a feeble continuation of their epic back-and-forth shoving match. They were now embracing to hold themselves upright, instead of doing the interlocked-fingers thing. Teerifica was dizzy with fatigue, but MIGHT have kept her feet if she and False Teerifica had leaned back out of each other's arms. The Face Twister, however, absolutely would have crumpled and fallen in a heap with Teerifica no longer holding her erect.

Neither woman had the energy to take notice, but the reason why no one was meddling in their exhausted clinch was because She-Wow had arrived. The princess from Anoxia, with a few still-functional Alwaysurnian soldiers, was keeping in check all the still-active evil Alwaysurnian monsters in the vicinity. (We'll go ahead and say that Green Flashlight Lucy Luminous had indeed gotten stung by the last couple of Reallybigwasps, and was receiving emergency treatment.) In addition, Skamartistor had conjured several sparkly vampires up from somewhere, to attack Sorcery Lass, but Sorcery Lass refused to go all fan-girl swoony for the vampires. After a hasty magical check to make sure none of them was on the side of good, she blasted them all out of existence with intense magical flames.

Startled by the dazzling fiery light, the two Teerificas momentarily lost their hold on each other. Actual Teerifica was after all able to stay standing up, while her opponent began to fall down, like a wet towel tossed aside by someone finishing a shower. But with an Actual-Teerifica-type impulse of charity toward a foe who could no longer threaten her, she re-grasped the other woman and heaved her up over the lip of their trench. Teerifica sat on the edge, her feet hanging down into the ditch, and cushioned her barely-conscious enemy's head on her knee.

When a friendly soldier drew near and offered a flask of water, Teerifica lifted her enemy's head and gave her a drink, before drinking some herself. Once the last of the nearby evildoers had all either fled or been captured, She-Wow hurried over to make sure that her probable soon-to-be sister-in-law was all right. Then: "So, Teerifica, DO you know who this doppelganger is?"

/ / / / / / / / / / / /

The even-more-finally-lastest-of-the-last battle between Mighty Male and Skamartistor was just getting properly warmed up. Every crashing clash of sword against battleaxe shook leaves off of trees by its very noise. And of course, both combatants intermittently did evasive shoulder-rolls, just because this had become routine. Kicks and elbow- or knee-jabs were mixed in here and there. The action was awesome, and EVEN resembled melee combat moves which WEREN'T in cartoons.

But most serious fights actually do conclude with someone losing. In the end, to Skamartistor's horrified final instant of surprise..... the Sword of Castle Greyhair cut the bone-faced evildoer's head.... clean.... off.

Far away from the fatal scene, Ickylinn magically sensed her monarch's really-no-kidding DEATH.

Her sentimental way of mourning Skamartistor's (well-deserved) end was to plan her own optimistically-hoped-for coronation as Empress of Alwaysurnia.
 
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At a field hospital where Weapons-Man, Anteater Woman and other wounded heroes were undergoing treatment, someone descended from the sky whom everyone at first assumed to be Swimmer Moon, But this blonde anime beauty explained: "I'm Swimmer Venus. I just happen to look a lot like Swimmer Moon. But I attack enemies with a focused directional beam, not the wide-coverage sparkling energy that Moon and her daughter use. And I don't spend a month reciting chants."

Tuxedo Dash, who of course could tell his wife apart from Swimmer Venus, replied, "Moon actually managed to suppress that habit for this war. But Venus, it's good that you came now, since our victory leaves us with reduced readiness, given so many casualties needing surgery. An added intact Spacer Swimmer will count for plenty, if some other evil power attacks us just when we've liberated this planet."

Swimmer Venus told her sort-of-like-a-brother-in-law: "One other helper already known to you has also come here. He came with me from Planet Hightone, as a matter of fact: the insectoid Green Flashlight called Tiptikditpip. He touched down on the opposite side of this world from here, the better to keep a lookout against any new threat."

Weapons-Man looked anxious. "But then, is anyone helping Mugwumpa to safeguard the Hightoners?"

"Don't worry, Dash, Swimmer Mercury is on Hightone right now." For the benefit of Alwaysurnians who still knew very little about the Spacer Swimmers, she added, "Besides being able to fight against any hostiles landing there, Mercury enjoys much greater scientific talent than the rest of us. She's already beginning to teach knowledge to the Hightoners which will soon bolster their self-defense potential. But now, please tell me something. Tiptikditpip and I have been told that the evil ruler Skamartistor got what he deserved; is a new regime installed yet?"

"It is, or very soon will be," replied Weapons-Man. "Well, not exactly new, but the regime we WANT. Our lawful King and Queen were kept safe by a good wizard, who is in communication with Sorcery Lass. Once Alwaysurnia has gotten stabilized, Their Majesties will be resettled in Castle Greyhair, with their son Prince Andy beside them."

"Speaking of that," said Swimmer Venus, "am I right that Prince Andy has a sister, who was away from home for most of her life?"

"Yes, Princess Advila, also called She-Wow. That's a complicated story, but she's enjoyed a loving long-distance relationship with her family since her brother sought her out on Planet Anoxia several years ago. She-Wow can't simply move back here full time, because she's needed on her adopted homeworld."

Swimmer Venus made a faint I'm-thinking noise. "Yet she did make time to help out here on Alwaysurnia. So is there going to be reciprocity?"

"For sure," Tuxedo Dash put in. "And we anime-derived characters are helping to make it possible. Until yesterday, Alwaysurnia was in too bad a shape for Mighty Male to charge headlong into the fight against The Mob on Anoxia. When their own royal household has a secure position again, Andy and his lot will see what they can do about overthrowing Crowdhack."

'Which will be HUGELY facilitated," said Weapons-Man, "if you Spacers, and the Green Flashlights, and whatever other heroes are available, are willing to help Alwaysurnia to rebuild, so we WON'T lose everything we only just regained once we go to help She-Wow."

'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

At Castle Greyhair, the ant-shaped Green Flashlight was getting acquainted with She-Wow and Sorcery Lass. Mighty Male was elsewhere, hovering over the veterinarian who was tending to Battery-Cat's wounds.

"Though I never actually met any members of your Corps before this late emergency," remarked the good sorceress, "I already knew that there are many thousands of you Green Flashlights, representing hundreds of biological types. I don't know how much we can offer you that is of use to your fellowship, but any aid that you can give us in liberating Anoxia will be making one corner of the universe cleaner."

"We live to serve life," Tiptikditpip told the two human females, while trying not to think about how grotesquely repulsive they were to his own visual tastes; "and since the whole is the sum of its parts, cleansing ANY planet from evil is a benefit to the cosmos at large."

She-Wow lightly touched one of his antennae, which Sorcery Lass had ascertained was good manners with his species. "I'm already grateful for the attention you've paid to our sibling planets up to now. Perhaps you could communicate with your leaders, to determine what they're willing to let you do for this part of the universe."

Tiptikditpip seemed to shrug. "Helping you to free a planet from tyranny is exactly the kind of thing that the Flashlight Corps exists for. It's only an issue of having SO MANY missions in progress. Just before becoming involved in your situation, I was one of a platoon of Green Flashlights who had to untangle a mostly non-violent, yet very serious problem on an Earth-variant which had hardly any superheroes of its own. Since I'm here, there's probably no reason why I can't simply go on working with you; the same applies with Lucy, once she's well again. But I can't say whether the Janitors of the Universe would allocate any MORE Flashlights here."

Sorcery Lass gazed at him warmly. "Having two Green Flashlights here is already an enormous help. The more so since the Spacer Swimmers will themselves need to depart eventually for other missions."
 
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Sometimes poetic justice actually does happen.

The Face Twister who had impersonated Teerifica was made to stand trial for impersonating this planet's parallel embodiment of a popular animated-cartoon character. Also for countless acts of meanness to civilians. The reinstated King of Alwaysurnia, father of Mighty Male and She-Wow, was busy supervising public-works operations to repair the damage done to this world by the unlamented Skamartistor and his followers. Accordingly, the Queen acted as presiding judge. In an attempt at impartiality, the Queen impaneled a jury consisting entirely of off-worlders, including both Green Flashlights. (Lucy Luminous had recovered from poisoning well enough that she could perform tasks which were not physically strenuous.)

She-Wow, because she was so tender-hearted that she always tried to find some good in people, consented to her mother's request that she become the shape-changer's defense attorney. Trying in good faith to be fair, She-Wow objected to Actual Teerifica being the prosecutor: "She has a personal grudge against my client."

"Overruled," replied the Queen. "Lady Teerifica exhibited extraordinarily humane behavior toward the defendant after defeating the defendant in a duel."

Catching Terrifica's eye, Princess Advila winked. When Teerifica returned the wink, Advila was relieved: Terrifica was not annoyed with her. So Advila went on: "In that case, Your Majesty, I object to Lady Teerifica as prosecutor because she'll GO TOO EASY on my client."

Sorcery Lass magically whispered in the Queen's ear: "Teerifica wants to get alone with Prince Andy. Now that Skamartistor is gone, and good riddance, those two deserve some privacy to discuss where their relationship is going. Everybody else knows that Andy and Teerifica love each other, but even though she figured out long ago that he's Mighty Male, they never felt free to do any courting as long as the perennial danger existed. Now-- bells and birdies. I've tapped someone who can run the prosecution in Teerifica's place....."

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Prince Andy and Lady Teerifica had never so much as held hands before. The demands of duty had never seemed to let up. Now Teerifica was released from the courtroom, on the understanding that she was to testify against the Face Twister tomorrow. They strolled in the shade of a beautiful grove, which had survived the short victorious war. Holding hands now felt like the "Whole New World" song in Disney's"Aladdin," though Mighty Male had never been a thief.

"We haven't caught Ickylinn yet," the lady soldier whispered, "but you ridding us of Skamartistor is a turn of the tide."

Andy gazed at her fondly. "Thank you SO much for NOT saying that my putting an end to old Bonehead 'makes me just as bad as he was'."

"I could never be so stupid, Andy. Skamartistor was nothing but a plague on Alwaysurnia, which is NO WAY morally equivalent to a self-sacrificing hero like you. He knew very well that he would have received mercy if he had surrendered to you, but he wouldn't have spared you if he had won. It's his own fault that he preferred to go out like MacBeth. Since he's dead now, my REAL rival for your attention is out of the way. And once we're married, the children I plan to bear for you will never have to be afraid of the big bad bonehead."

Three minutes later, when it became physically possible to speak again, Mighty Male teased: "You beat me to the proposal!"

"It's only fair. Where would my girl power be if I couldn't beat you at SOMETHING?"
 
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Around the same time as Mighty Male and Teerifica enjoyed their VERY first kiss ever, Sorcery Lass went to a field camp where Dolph Bluntgrin was temporarily billeted. He expected to depart in the morning for his usual retirement quarters --but Sorcery Lass had other plans.

"Corporal, I'm hoping you'll volunteer to do something which, in fact, has a personal meaning for you."

Dolph was awestruck that someone so important was not merely speaking to him; and not ORDERING him to do something; but ASKING him to do-- "What do you wish me to do, my lady?"

"You, Corporal, possess not only battlefield courage, but a refined moral courage, guided by mature insight. You showed this on the day when the enemy shape-changer posing as Captain-General Teela acted out like a spoiled brat while supposedly inspecting your town's air-defense installation. Realizing that she was intentionally being irrational, you purposely drew all of her senseless ire upon yourself, to protect your neighbors from being punished for nothing.

"Tomorrow, the impostor goes on trial. I want YOU to be the prosecutor, because fear of you taking revenge on her may cause her to be more cooperative."

"Hmmm. Certainly, she may be afraid of punishment; but I doubt that she'll afraid of me as an individual, since she is twice as strong as I am."

Sorcery Lass afforded the gallant veteran with something she hardly ever showed to anyone: a playful, impish smile.

"She is twice as strong as you are IN YOUR OLD AGE-- but not even AS strong as I happen to know you WERE in your youth. Do you see where I'm going with this?"
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Twenty-one minutes later, the metahuman lady Subsoila, the one who could morph into a sort of giant mole, dropped by the encampment to ask about the state of Dolph's plans to return to his home town. She did a huge double-take when she saw him; his new appearance was more startling than the fact that Sorcery Lass was with him.

"Dolph! You look almost like Mighty Male! Is that really you?"

The old artilleryman greeted her with a hearty hug. "None other. Her Ladyship seems to have decided that I should come out of retirement, so she took away my arthritis and gray hair. As for my resemblance to Prince Andy, Sorcery Lass-- who was living at the time of the ancestor in question-- tells me that I'm a fifth cousin to the Prince, by way of a younger brother of King Vessner the Wise."

The side-of-good shape-changer looked back and forth between her friend and the benign demigoddess. "I'm happy for you, Dolph, but is there a specific reason for this rejuvenation?"

"More than one reason, Subsoila," Sorcery Lass told her. "But I'll explain the one which affects YOU directly." Now she looked out of the story, since this was also exposition for the readers.

"Many of the romantic pair-bonding episodes in this multi-plot serial have developed very suddenly and quickly. The author can get away with this, because the man and woman in each case enjoyed supernatural help to know for sure that the pair-bond WOULD be the right thing for both of them. This instance, however, is different. The man and woman I have in mind, both of them very good people, have already been friends for half of the younger one's lifetime. Each has done many good turns to the other, and each enjoys the other one's company. The only barrier between them is-- or HAS BEEN-- their considerable age difference. The man is a widower, and has children older than the woman of whom I speak, but they know he was faithful to their mother, and all of them will cheerfully accept his marrying again at last.

"As you can see, Subsoila, Dolph is now physically no more than three or four years your elder. This is real, not an illusion. I suggest that both of you act accordingly. I'll just wander off while he proposes and you tearfully accept."
 
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In the America of Seedubb Earth, what we would call Seattle was called Startled City. Supposedly the reason for this name was that the first Anglo-American man to reach the site by an overland route had been startled by the elaborate totem poles of the Native Americans in the region. But the body of water we call Puget Sound had the same name on Seedubb.

Something else was shared in common by Original Earth and Seedubb. In both worlds, the military establishment of Communist China ran a supposed business corporation called the Chinese Ocean Shipping Company, whose only real purpose was to gain wealth and geopolitical advantage for the Party. When Alister "Green Crossbow" Quade learned that there was a senior Chinese infiltrator in Startled City, he had begun sniffing trails. This paid off grandly. Pressure from the Bats-Family, coming on top of The Whoosh liberating Marysuefire and Goldfinch from deep inside China, had panicked Beijing's agents in the United States. Precisely because there had been very little Chinese espionage in Washington State recently, the spooked agents flocked to Startled City to catch their extraction ride on a C.O.S.C.O. freighter. But the cat was out of the bag.

The Coast Guard was getting into position to interdict a departure by the freighter, accompanied by Homeland Security agents-- and by Aquaticman. Green Crossbow, meanwhile, had prepared a special arrow for this operation. When shot into the emitter of the ship's surface-navigation radar, the arrowhead released a gooey concoction full of radio-reflective chaff particles. The crew needing to get that navigational radar cleared should ensure that the arresting party would be in the perfect positions. They had a Chinese-American officer to use the bullhorn.

"Chinese freighter Silver Pagoda, this is the Coast Guard. You have taken on passengers who are under suspicion of spying. You will submit to boarding and search. Resistance will be dealt with severely."

This was where the C.O.S.C.O. crew revealed that they had benefited by the mechanical innovations of Red Headbone before they made their latest trip to America. A concealed backup surface-radar array sprang up at the bow, and a remarkable set of quick-starting engines gunned it. Three Homeland Security agents who were with Green Crossbow on the pier suddenly received non-fatal flesh wounds in their left shoulders, due to sudden gunfire from the stern of the freighter. As other Homeland Security men returned fire, Green Crossbow shot an arrow that sprayed sneezing powder on the Chinese crewmen, throwing off their aim.

Coast Guard sharpshooters put armed crewmen out of action in the forward exterior parts of the ship; but many other sailors had cover against bullets, and the ship continued attempting to escape. That was until Aquaticman, just under the surface, grasped the prow of the freighter-- and turned the entire ship 180 degrees. The law-enforcement personnel on shore, knowing in advance that the King of Tatlantis might resort to this move, had gotten bystanders out of harm's way. The huge container ship ran itself aground-- and Aquaticman came on board.

Seedubb's Aquaman-variant looked like Jason Momoa's version of the character, but was more merciful to outclassed regular-human evildoers than the Momoa version had been in his movie. Within another fifteen minutes, everyone aboard the Silver Pagoda was in custody-- including the Chinese spies who had been trying to escape from the United States.

Now came the fun part: inventorying all of the stolen American technology stashed in secret compartments. This included items from Spark Laboratories-- even an early prototype of the Anti-Villain Device.

"Yeah, they would want this," Green Crossbow remarked to Aquaticman.

> < > < > < > < > < > < > < > < > <
 
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The Teen Tryouts were overjoyed to have Marysuefire and Goldfinch back in action. Green Crossbow passed them information obtained in the Puget Sound waterfront arrests; this gave them a trail to follow in Central Municipality.

Marysuefire and Goldfinch were joined by Blue Junebug, and by a brand-new member of Teen Tryouts named Farrah Flutter, hero-name Degreaser. Like Evening-Wing a.k.a. Duskwing and Goldfinch, Degreaser had no super-powers, but was athletic and skillful. Precisely because Degreaser was new and not yet famous, the other three acted like "beaters" at a hunt, with a plainclothes Degreaser as the metaphorical shooter. Goldfinch, Marysuefire and Junebug, in public and undisguised, openly accompanied city police and United States Marshals on a sweep to root out the deep-cover Chinese agents they knew to be present in the city. Degreaser, meanwhile, was loitering near a hideout location which the enemy agents were not now using, but to which they had a contingency plan to relocate.

While waiting for spies to show up so she could capture them, Degreaser suddenly heard an electronic sort of noise from inside the safe-house. Signaling Blue Junebug what she was doing, she took the risk of breaking into the house. Inside--

If this Earth-variant had been more Marvel-based and less DC-based, it would have had a counterpart of Iron Man. Then, Farrah Flutter could have said to herself: Ah ha, this is an Iron Man ripoff suit of armor. As it was, upon seeing the thing standing upright but inert, she did her own mental extrapolation, thinking: This stuff is like Blue Junebug's exoskeleton, or like Cyberdork's robotic part. This may have been designed by Lex Loozor, with an idea that more suits like it could be built by Chinese agents in-country. Now it's lighting up; must have been remotely activated, and one of the spies will soon show up to put it on, so he can cover the escape of the others.

She looked around hastily, to see if there were tools available which would let her disassemble the armor outfit before its designated user could claim it. No luck there; but she improvised. Uncoiling a climbing rope she carried, she tied one end around one ankle of the suit, then found a hiding place where she could wait with the other end of the rope.

Three Chinese men suddenly burst into the house. Two of them looked back outside as soon as they got in. The third man-- the smallest of the three, Degreaser noticed-- didn't look outside. Which makes him the chosen suit-wearer.

When the smaller man had almost reached his armor, Degreaser tugged the rope, and the toppling suit of armor knocked its intended wearer off balance. Now it was time for instinctive action. Girl power notwithstanding, Degreaser would have no chance against all three adversaries at once, unless she made the best use of their being surprised. So she sprang past the already-off-balance man, to attack the others.

Besides the advantage of surprise, she had the benefit of a telescoping steel baton. Her first whack landed on one man's left ear; the second stroke hit the remaining man's windpipe, not fatally but certainly hard enough to neutralize him as a threat. Back to the man with the smashed ear: a blow to the top of his head put out his lights. An instant later, Farrah was by all rights a dead girl for two seconds, as the would-be armor-wearer drew a reserve pistol and sidestepped so his friends wouldn't be in his line of fire....

But then Blue Junebug's extendable grappling cable broke in through a window, to grab the gun out of the spy's hand.

"Hey, Degreaser, I hope you don't mind my stealing some of your fun!"

"Under the circumstances, I think I can forgive you."
 
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Doctor Unusual presently made it out from Urbanopolis to join the law-enforcement officers and the young superheroes on the scene. At his request, the newly-captured foreign spies were brought before him. Pausing, he spoke to the ranking U.S. Marshal present:

"In a judicial context, I believe in protecting even criminals against self-incrimination. But I can do something which WON'T constitute forcing them to confess anything. If one or more persons present will consent to it, I can let you see the same things I will show to these three spies. I won't command them to DO anything, but I'll make them AWARE of certain things."

Goldfinch spoke up here: "Marshal, sir, it isn't betraying any vital secrets if I tell you that Doctor Unusual had a hand in leading Harpy Grinn OUT OF evil. I believe he's about to do something similar."

The head Marshal said to Doctor Unusual: "Make me one of your magical onlookers." Two of the city policemen made the same request, figuring that ordinary cops participating in this way would be more credible for civilians than if it was only the sorceror's fellow superheroes getting involved. Presently, the three captured spies, the three law-enforcement officers, and Degreaser because she wanted to see the projected vision, beheld a mind-boggling panorama of Chinese history.

NOT ONE BIT OF WHAT FOLLOWS WAS MADE UP BY COPPERFOX.....

They saw fifteenth-century China using its enormous military potential to intimidate smaller Asian countries into letting China dictate the terms for commerce. They saw nineteenth-century China being furious at European powers for doing THE EXACT SAME THING to China that China had formerly done to its neighbors. They saw Mao Tse-Tung in the Second World War, NOT helping to fight the invading Japanese, because Mao didn't care how many of the Chinese common people whom he pretended to care about were killed in the war, provided that HE could rule China afterward. They saw China forcibly conquering defenseless Tibet just because. They saw the Great Leap Forward and the Cultural Revolution ruining the lives of millions of Chinese laborers. They saw China persuading American corporations to buy and resell products made by the unpaid labor of political prisoners. They saw Muslim Uighirs and Falun Gong Buddhists being repressed by a regime which pretended that only the West could be bigoted. They saw Chinese forests being recklessly clear-cut, while pro-Beijing journalists pretended that only the West ever harmed the environment. They saw Party officials conducting "self-criticism sessions" to keep the peasants too humiliated and battered down to think of disobeying the Party....

The sorceror concluded the audiovisual enchantment.

The spy who had been hit in the throat by Degreaser was able to speak again by now. "Magician, is there any way our families could be saved from death if we defect to the West?"

Blue Junebug didn't speak up immediately, but he remembered how he himself had assisted The Whoosh in extracting Marysuefire and Goldfinch from captivity in China. Marysuefire and Goldfinch, of course, also remembered this.

When Green Flashlight Ryan Pebbles was brought in on this, he made an effort to signal any fellow Green Flashlight within reach. What he turned up was another chance for Copperfox to continue interconnecting plot arcs. Ryan contacted Mike Deep Swimmer, the Shawnee brave who was Urth's Green Flashlight. Mike's errand to Planet Fohesso was not time-urgent, so he changed course.

"Ryan, it's been a long time! Will what you need take very long?"

"It shouldn't: not with you, me, Doctor Unusual, Marysuefire, Aquaticman and the Queenkraken all pulling together."

Who's the Queenkraken?

"A reasonably friendly giant monster."

While this was going on, a loose end was being tied up. Huntergirl, daughter of Batfellow and Catfemale, arrested the Chinese spy Tu Shin-Tai, the man who had been terrorizing Chinese-Americans into doing things for him.
 
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THREE DAYS LATER: Ordinary Chinese citizens were walking hither and thither in Tienanmen Square, when something like a tornado appeared in their midst--only, it didn't harm anyone. When it vanished, there stood an American who was well known all over Seedubb Earth: Steve Roughroad, alias Captain Patriot. He was holding the shield which had formerly been stolen from him.

In perfect Mandarin Chinese, with even louder projection than he was normally capable of, the Captain boomed out: "I was transported here by magic, and the magic enables me now to understand your language. I need to speak with Secretary Hui Kai-Ma. If she is not currently in Beijing, I will speak to the highest-ranking military officer available."

Six minutes later, in place of the woman who was handling Count Verygone, Lex Loozor and Red Headbone, a uniformed man in his late sixties approached the superhero. "I am Admiral Sung Fong-Chu of the People's Navy. State your business."

Steve nodded. "Let us begin by each admitting that the other one IS NOT ignorant. You and I both know that, without our own Earth being any less real, there are other versions of Earth in the universe. Most of of them have a direct counterpart of Communist China as you know it; and on most such Earths, a balance of power prevents YOUR counterparts from being overthrown as they-- as YOU deserve. The devastation that a global war would cause is the only thing WORSE THAN your continuing to hold a fifth of the entire human race in slavery."

"No one in the People's Republic is a slave!" the Admiral harrumphed.

"Tell that to the political prisoners in your lao gai. But back to our immediate business. Not only have your agents committed serious crimes on American soil, but you are harboring high-level Western criminals here. Possibly the worst of these is the renegade scientist Lex Loozor, who is developing weapons for you.

"Now, pay attention. You are about to be reminded that the balance of power on THIS Earth does not favor you nearly as much as is the case on Original Earth. As we speak, our SORCEROR, Doctor Unusual-- the one whom your deceased friend Opposite Whoosh tried to murder-- is giving magical guidance to other friends of mine." Captain Patriot had in mind Marysuefire, the Whoosh, Batfellow (who would not hear of being left out of this), Goldfinch (ditto), the telekinetic girl Raisin, and the two Green Flashlights. "My friends will be popping in at various locations, to rescue and carry away various Chinese persons who will be GLAD to be free from your dictatorship. You will be powerless to prevent this."

Admiral Sung almost lost his temper. "You are as much as declaring war!"

Captain Patriot shook his head. "If we were waging war, leaders like yourself would already be dead or taken prisoner, and your military hardware would already be in the process of getting demolished. As it is--I suggest that you un-mute your cellphone and answer the incoming call from your navy. I'll wait."

Two minutes later, and after the Admiral had spoken coded orders into his phone, he stared, dumbfounded, at the American hero. Captain Patriot filled the silence for him:

"Your global surveillance, even before you had Mister Loozor helping you, is good enough that you know who and what the Queenkraken is. Your navy opened fire on her, didn't they?"

Sung worked his mouth silently, then forced words out: "They did, and she just SAT THERE!"

Captain Patriot nodded. "Your gun artillery is not powerful enough, to hurt the Queenkraken badly enough that she would go to the trouble of sinking your ships. Aquaticman, whom she recognizes as her King, has told her not to take any lives needlessly. I strongly advise you not to bring up Loozor and Headbone's directed-energy weapons; those WOULD hurt her enough that she would begin destroying your fleet.

"And it's unnecessary. We don't want to back you so far into a corner that you turn desperate and start launching nukes. Three or four of those might actually get through. We want you to start PERMITTING PEOPLE TO EMIGRATE from China if they want to. In return, we will permit you to keep Loozor's crowd here in your service. Let them build new armaments for you-- provided they're for defense. You will not be allowed to use that new ordnance in any aggressive actions against other countries."

While this conversation proceeded, Marysuefire and other heroes were locating relatives and friends of the spies whom Huntergirl had caught, in order to offer these a safe haven in America. By the time Doctor Unusual retrieved Captain Patriot from Beijing, the Chinese Communist Party was already close to a consensus that they would be best advised to concede the match this time.
 
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}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

The Republic of Lots of Worlds was grateful for the Bubblewrap Coalition's assistance in recent actions against the Empire of Evil Badness. The Republic reciprocated by lending six top-quality frigates (all equipped with the stand-off shields which the Coalition was only just beginning to adopt), plus a team of up-side Fuss users. Masters Quinine Sauce and Nonsmoka Tiptoe, Adepts Transmeddit, Zubdookree and Ziprukken, and Pattycake-Awan Benzine Tancur, all spent time with the Coalition telepath Chelsea Sandalzon, to consider how Chelsea could best work with the Jedi-equivalents. And all of them spent time with Colin Webber, the man plugged into the last Shadything starship. Jacob Mossyhutch with his absurd gravity gun still was around as well, as were Duzeerlim and her Mintcandybarri warriors.

They were in preparation for a move against the Glukks, the trollish evil aliens who had formerly served the Shadythings. Besides the Republic warships and Fuss users, the Bubblewrap Coalition provided twenty Earthlyforce warships (including the improved Aggiemarbelon), seven Goldarn warships, and four defensively-armed Braykpedduli support ships (including the Queen Yessa).

This was to be another grand shoot-'em-up space battle; but your author sets higher priority on a smaller-scale, more personal adventure. This is the matter which surfaced after the good guys' liberation of Admiral Skrawn's slave-labor planet. It is the matter of Melodica having been denounced by one freed slave-- who revealed that he had been trafficked and sold BY MELODICA, when she was a pirate. Moose Windchime and the Toofah-Roffian girl Hoppaway had committed themselves to helping Melodica make amends to the wronged man-- by helping to free OTHER slaves.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The above-mentioned former slave, named Jifpek Dagla, was a tail-headed Tugboata like Nonsmoka. Besides his justified indignation, he could also offer a practical suggestion to Moose Windchime.

"As you may already have discovered, many of the slaves you have set free are former military personnel of the Empire, drummed out of the ranks for some failure in their duties. Among them are sure to be as least a few who could help to operate one of the smaller hulls among the Imperial ships you took as prizes. With luck and mind-probing, you might also uncover some innocent slaves who have military or spacefaring skills from their lives before captivity."

Moose nodded. "So, using an Imperial ship with our own people as crew, we could approach a world where slaves are kept, and after being given landing clearance, we would seize their spaceport....."
 
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The first volunteer to join Moose and Jifpek's quest, also a freed slave, was a female Tugboata named Aseeta Rephlux, who was sweet on Jifpek. When Melodica, acting for Moose, asked about the woman's qualifications, Jifpek vouched for her: "She's excellent at mathematics. She can assist with navigation, and with inventorying ship's supplies."

Melodica glanced back and forth between the two Tugboatas. "I can tell that the two of you both appreciate the math of one plus one. I'm the VERY LAST person entitled to criticize you on that score. Aseeta, welcome to the crew of-- Jifpek, you have the right to give our prize ship a new name."

"Let's call it the--" He said something incomprehensible to Melodica, then explained: "Adjustment. In the Tugboata language it sounds more dramatic. But it corresponds closely to that word weregild which your husband explained to me. Think of it as 'putting things right again.' We probably won't be the ones to blast Thuglife Skrawn into glowing dust, but that makes a happy thought."

Four additional accepted recruits later, Moose Windchime rejoined them-- accompanied by a black human male.

"I had a sudden Shatterplace epiphany," declared the also-black up-side hero. 'I became aware that one of the Imperial soldiers we captured was a child soldier: that is, he was conscripted as a boy, and forced to fight for Count Spooky, then later to serve Porkanbeen openly. His name is Flint Lockhart, and it was part of my revelation that he SHOULD become an excellent up-side Fuss adept, but that some evil being called Kennedweeba somehow deprived him of this fulfillment."

Young Hoppaway was nearby, and said to Flint, "May the Fuss be with you! If you're joining us, I'll do my best to help you find your path in life. Also, if there's an opportunity, I'll introduce you to a space pilot named Pro Dashalong. I feel strongly that you and he will become great friends, and that you'll both achieve noble things-- if no down-side meddler is allowed to ruin it for you."

Moose resumed: "Also in my revelation, the thing called Kennedweeba particularly wanted you to be denied a normal relationship with a woman you desired. This apparently was part of an effort to make your life conform to some odd story, a story happening decades into our future, a story in which everyone male would be inferior to everyone female. But you, Flint, are not helplessly bound to undergo such humiliation."

"Thank you," the ex-Imperial soldier said in a low voice. "I have the oddest feeling..... I feel as if someone once told me..... Tell me, sir, is it true that every woman everywhere always and infallibly knows if a man is lying?"

Melodica, standing nearby, suddenly howled with laughter. "If that were true, I never would have joined Zoot Booter's band of pirates!"

" " " " " " " " " " " " " "
 
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We need to see at least SOMETHING of the campaign that the Republic of Lots of Worlds and the Bubblewrap Coalition waged against the Glukk.

The Glukk stronghold against which the operation was directed was the largest such place within reach. The actual Glukk homeworld was VERY far away from Coalition space.

Corin Webber's symbiotic ship was obliged to concentrate on protecting the vulnerable Coalition ships, i.e. all of them except Aggiemarbelon and Queen Yessa. This was okay, because it brought plenty of Glukk targets into Corin's sights, and his weapons could fire in multiple directions at once. Chelsea Sandalzon and Benzine Tancur were with him: Chelsea to shield him against psychic interference by the Glukks, and Benzine to see how much of Chelsea's telepathic work she could sense through The Fuss. That last part worked better than either woman had anticipated. Their minds fell into tandem so smoothly that, together, they were able to disorient two Glukk pilots whose ships were going after the weaker ships. As a result, the weaker (i.e. lacking stand-off shields) ships easily destroyed those two threats.

Meanwhile, since the Glukks were unaware that the Aggiemarbelon enjoyed Star Wars-grade shields, three Glukk ships perished for their ignorance. Another way that lack of information harmed the bad guys was that they were accustomed to Bubblewap Coalition combatants relying on beam weapons far more than on physical missiles. Woodrow Ackerman's armed-transport ship destroyed one unwary Glukk ship, and damaged three others.

Two of the Republic's more-advanced warships were "mission-killed," meaning that not all crewmembers died, and the ships might be salvageable, but they couldn't fight anymore at present, and the people on board were evacuated. Corin's precision shooting enabled him to protect the small craft which were lifting friendlies off of the crippled ships. Five Coalition ships were destroyed outright, and-- because it was now understood by the Glukks to be a serious threat-- Aggiemarbelon was blasted with massed fire into a mission-killed state. Constance Tilbury died a genuine heroic death helping her crew to evacuate.

But almost all of the stricken ship's Furystars got clear. Ganging up on the last Glukk vessel to have shot into their mothership, the fighters were joined by Queen Yessa with her whole remaining load of shipkiller missiles. That evil ship was toast.

The enemy had a fortified orbital station which needed to be reduced. For the sake of the valuable technology which could be captured there, the allied forces conducted a boarding, led by the Fuss users. Jacob Mossyhutch was there too, having been informed by Corin that the bulkheads of the station would withstand and absorb his gravity-gun's pellets, therefore he could shoot Glukks yet not expose his friends to asphyxiation from air escaping the hull.

The battle inside the station was truly horrible. The blurriness which Glukks could generate around themselves caused some gunshots, and even some lightsaber-strokes, to miss their targets. This unaccustomed difficulty proved fatal for the green-skinned Adept Ziprukken, though he avenged himself as he went down. Shot in the chest, the Greedork up-sider corrected his aim with his last breath, and his foe fell to the deck in two pieces.

Opening the way for Anflaktikshok warriors to penetrate farther into the station, Sergeant-Major Mossyhutch used up the last of his ammunition. But even as his Mintcanybarri allies were surging forward to protect him-- new ammunition arrived. Well, not exactly new. What happened was that, out of all grav-gun pellets he had fired in tests or combat weeks earlier, the ones which had not been stopped by something had traveled ALL THE WAY AROUND THE UNIVERSE. Now they materialized right in front of him, and reloaded themselves into his weapon.

Before long, the orbiting fortress was taken, and the few surviving Glukks (from captured enemy ships too) were forced to go aboard Corin's terror-ship. There, the cool cyber-bionic stuff reprogrammed their brains to obey all orders from the good guys. Chelsea the telepath double-checked the Glukks' minds to be sure they were truly subdued.

Now that the Bubblewrap Coalition had acquired this abundant haul of superior technology to work with (which they needed much more than their Star Wars-ish friends needed it), Corin met with grateful agreement when he declared that it was HIGH TIME for him to be detached from the accursed Shadything ship. He would fly back to Planet Upsydaisylon, where Master Drool and the Great Artifact would make sure that no hidden default program could make the evil ship resume evil activity after Corin left it. Then Drool's "Flapjack" technicians would begin the work of adapting Shadything science to improve the Bubblewrap Coalition's industrial base.

Corin would carry with him a residue of Shadything technology, more or less identical to what remained with the young woman Jelisaveta Vhani of Earth-Whichever. But as with Jelisaveta, this remainder would be commanded by Corin's will, not the other way around. Corin Webber of Earthlyforce was a free man.... and would even enjoy the satisfaction of accepting the humble apologies of Bruce and Deelyte Loxbagel.
......................................................................................
 
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Moose, Melodica, Hoppaway, Jifpek, Aseeta, and the other volunteers had several equally-likely directions to try, in their quest to liberate more slaves. They already had input from bad-guy prisoners they had questioned; but nothing they had gleaned settled which way was best to search first. A point was reached when the up-side master declared: "If, before tonight, we have no better decision agreed on, let's go to that prospective location which is farthest away from here."

Then Melodica had a lightbulb moment. "Could it be that Flint's Shatterplace significance extends to this choice?"

Catching Melodica's drift. Hoppaway asked Flint, "Where was your last duty station before here?" The ex-trooper answered: "The planet Bopteeboptimus Prime. It's a waypoint for a great part of the commercial space traffic that circulates in Admiral Skrawn's territory."

"Do slave transports pass through there?" asked Aseeta.

"Not officially. But I didn't have access to cargo manifests or inspection results there. My battalion simply ran perimeter security around the port, while also standing by in case ground forces were needed on any nearby world. So it's possible that merchant captains registered in the Republic, but having no sincere loyalty TO the Republic, were shipping slaves via Bopteeboptimus, without this fact being on anyone's official records." He sighed. "It isn't as if the captives, if any, would have been let out for exercise during the stopover."

Moose Windchime nodded solemnly. "This feels right. Barring any still-clearer prospect rising for us VERY soon, Bopteeboptimus is where we'll go. That is, PROVIDED there isn't something which would trip us up. As far as we know, the Imperial higher-ups believed our false transmission that the emergency was ended. But we need to review the comms records, in case anything specific was said about the particular ship we have commandeered. It would not do for us, as an Imperial ship, to approach Bopteeboptimus Prime and be caught in a contradiction. "
 
A HASTY SLAPDASH REVIEW OF RECENT PAGES

My characters based on Babylon Five were joined by Star Wars-derivative characters, to fight against my version of the "Drakh" who served the Shadows in B-5. Victory in this cause finally allows Corin Webber to be free from the "Shadything" ship.

Other Star Wars-ish characters, including my version of Mace Windu, moved on from liberating a slave planet, to planning new actions against my version of Admiral Thrawn. A "teenage" girl of Yoga-Rug's race is among the Fuss users in this group.

On Seedubb Earth, Marysuefire and Goldfinch were FINALLY released from captivity in China; Aquaticman used his friendly sea monster to put a scare into the Communist authorities; and Harpy Grinn-Nickelworth, completing her undercover mission, was overjoyed to get back to being a wife.

On Planet Senphatori, my version of Black Adam began recruiting other super-villains, to help him when the Justified League on "Urth" would finally get around to investigating the absence of Superdude and Superhottie.

On Jersey Earth, the Heart Sapphire Sisters were steadily losing their hold on people's minds. A daughter of Twerpseid, having been included in the Sapphire contingent, stupidly discredited the whole operation --by trying to KILL one of the leading Sapphire Sisters, when that woman started taking a reasonable attitude toward the Green Flashlights.

In my Stephen-King-ish steampunk world, Felipe the knowledge-wizard and Zoralee the lady detective, while not yet having met up with my gunslinger-knight Ronald, began investigating the assassination of a good king named Feckladast.

My Spaceballs-related character Duke Diskoduck, having married the good-hearted space pilot Wilma Dearthing, has acquired a REALLY ODD superpower. Now he can cause the "2001: A Space Odyssey" theme to play in the air, magically holding the attention of everyone else who hears it, so Diskoduck can take any action he wants, unhindered.

One Sapphire Sister, named Luvardra, took off on her own, instead of helping in the attempt to ruin Jersey Earth. Landing on the planet Jinobrid-- where Green Flashlights had been teaching science to the natives-- she fell in love with, and won the heart of, the human Green Flashlight Parbellik Magta.

Speaking of people falling in love: my version of Asajj Ventress returned to the side of good, and got married to my version of Ewan MacGregor's Obi-Wan Kenobi. Their first new mission as a couple involved stopping violence at a sort of gangster-rap concert.

My versions of He-Man and his sister She-Ra, with many other heroes including anime characters, finally purged my version of Planet Eternia from the evil of my version of Skeletor. In fact, my Skeletor-equivalent has caught a long-overdue case of permanent death.
 
On Planet Freesoil, the counterparts of Edgar Rice Burroughs' six-limbed Tharks from an inhabitable version of Mars, having miraculously been given enough strength to function in an Earth-level gravity field, and having come to accept NOT having any enemies to fight in the foreseeable future, were fitting in better than even John Cardsharper had hoped. Their king, Tarp Kanvas, led by example, wielding shovel, hammer, saw, pickaxe, whatever tool was needed for a job. The Star Wars-ish Greedorks who had joined the human colony continued their own initial friendliness toward the fantasy Martians.

Slick Mudpackis, formerly Dark Headgear, with Lylah and Krayzee who now also had Fuss powers, went here and there each working day, stepping in wherever telekinetic assistance was called for in a project. This included an ambitious new job, only lately made possible by the enlargement of their labor force: building a hydroelectric power plant at a place where a nearby river possessed a convenient stretch of rapids. The colony's original solar power plant was sharply limited by having only the panels which had been brought to Freesoil at its initial pioneering. Years would pass before the Freesoilers would be able to use their theoretical knowledge to manufacture new panels on-planet.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Boone, do you know what a star fortress is?"

Boone Crockett looked back at Tarp Kanvas. "I'm told that your people never got as far as space travel, so you don't mean 'star' in a literal sense."

"Correct. It's a matter of designing defensive walls. On our world, just as on most Earth-variants, BEFORE the advent of firearms, forts and castles would have walls which ran in straight lines, like a box. This was efficient for deploying defensive troops along the ramparts. But when cannons became practical, straights wall became vulnerable to an exactly perpendicular impact. Forts began to be breached routinely with artillery.

"So architects hit on a countermeasure: building triangular sections that jutted out from the walls. Like points of a star design. This way, an incoming projectile would strike at an angle, thus having far less chance of breaking through. As an added benefit, this method also enabled the defenders to fire down at the attackers from several directions."

"Are you suggesting that we build one of these? The Creepycrawlids that I told you about never shot anything except a few plasma bursts."

"I'm just speculating. Future enemies might use guns."
 
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