Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

The subject of new fortifications being purely academic at present, Tarp Kanvas presently found a different conversation to engage in. Joined by Quismar Fradd, the most socially prestigious female among the Greedork settlers, he sought out Slick and Krayzee Mudpackis.

The six-limbed warrior began: "Mistress Quismar already knew, and I was recently told, how Mistress Krayzee came to possess your mind-over-matter powers. But no one here seems to know-- unless you know it by now, Krayzee-- how you, Slick, first came to have these powers."

Slick lowered his eyes for a moment before answering:

"From what I've heard about your native world, counting both your species and the human types, it has more than fifty separate, independent nations, any two of which might at a given time be friendly or hostile to each other, depending on various political changes. But the reality I was born in-- the universe which contains the Republic of Lots of Worlds, and which in recent years beheld the rise of the Empire of Evil Badness-- was shaped in every way by The Fuss. The history of the first person to acquire Fuss powers is shrouded in obscurity; but we do know that the irreconcilable enmity between up-side and down-side became clear as soon as anyone realized that there WERE two sides.

"My native planet of Razgrom produced Fuss users on both sides, but up-siders usually held leadership. Now, you can see that I am physically smaller than many human males-- John Cardsharper, for sure!-- and I always resented this disadvantage."

"Then did the up-side Fuss users treat you as inferior?" asked Quismar. "If so, that would make them very different from the few up-side Fuss users my own race has produced."

Slick sighed. "No, far from it, all up-siders I ever knew on Razgrom behaved kindly toward me, and encouraged me to develop the abilities I had. But what they DIDN'T encourage was my wish to possess Fuss powers for the specific purpose of dominating and intimidating larger boys AND all the girls who held me in contempt."

Krayzee interjected: "I resented larger girls too. I know, I'm a good height now, but I was a slow grower. If I'd had the chance as a teenager to gain Fuss abilities, a lot of my snotty schoolmates would have mysteriously seen their data devices flying out of their hands and getting smashed against stone walls."

Acknowledging Krayzee with a nod, Tarp Kanvas looked thoughtful. "Humans on my old world often resented my kind being bigger. But some of their men took this as a challenge, and worked so hard at improving their martial skills that, even without John Cardsharper's great strength, one of them would have some chance of winning a fight against one of us."

"Felgercarb on that!" snapped the former Dark Headgear. "Pardon my language, but everyone always used to tell me to look at unfair disadvantages as a 'challenge.' Easy for them to say that, when THEY didn't face a 'challenge' that was rigged against them from the lift-off. Anyway, that WAS how I felt. And feeling that way, I was a sucker for the down-side. Up-siders observed so many restrictions, trying to avoid killing people, trying to avoid becoming tyrants."

Quismar touched Slick's arm sympathetically. "So you followed what seemed to you like a path to freedom."

"Yeah, freedom for myself-- and enslavement or death for others."

"But you're not like that anymore," Krayzee reassured her husband.

Slick smiled faintly. "I wonder if Groan Starr, his hairy friend Puke, Princess Vixen, King Lowbrain, Master Yoga-Rug, Bob Snooze, Professor Yuss, or Admiral Blender would survive the shock if they learned how much I've changed?"
 
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On Jersey Earth, the team of Heart Sapphires who had been creating water for the Sudanese people decided to shift operations to Libya, whence they could easily hop over to Italy if they chose. This was the group including the hairless Veblith Timtaf, and Lubtifor who had lately been in Samoa. Making rendezvous with them near Tripoli were Jitra Pooklar, the woman who looked EXACTLY Earthling-human except for having a tail, and Chemhuda who had a thin physique but an angelic-sounding voice. Half an hour after they had resumed producing potable water-- with mantis-like Flashlight Zaz-Chispa, who had invited herself along-- they were joined also by Sister Aldanish, who had been in the eastern United States.

Aldanish brought with her the delusional boy Sawyer Boyd, still insisting that he was now a large iguana lizard.

Erroneously assuming that Zaz-Chispa must herself be a Heart Sapphire, yet realizing that all Sapphire Sisters were humanoid, Sawyer drew the inference which seemed most plausible to him. Trotting up to the insectoid Green Flashlight, he squealed, "You've claimed your own truth! I'm a lizard, you're a mantis-- what will the other Sisters turn into?"

Veblith Timtaf irritably snapped at him, "She doesn't have the wisdom to change her shape! She's always been a bug. She's a Green Flashlight, spying on us!"

As soon as he heard this, the would-be iguana back-pedaled frantically, as if being a Green Flashlight made Zaz-Chispa likely to dismember him and devour him. The insectoid heroine gave a startlingly human-like sigh of exasperation. Walking over to Veblith, she rasped: "I'll make it easier for you ladies to prevent that kid from stampeding away and getting lost in the desert. See you later;" and she flew off using her own wings.

Once Zaz-Chispa was out of probable hearing, Aldanish exclaimed, 'What if she's REALLY going to fetch more Fascist-Lights to interfere with our work of love?"

"Be at ease," the older Chemhuda admonished her. "The same goes for you, Sawyer. No Green Flashlight has EVER physically injured a Heart Sapphire on purpose in our entire history. And as for non-violent interference: she was just inventing an excuse to leave, because in reality she was being put to shame by the glory of our compassion and self-actualization. She won't try to sabotage us; Mother Universe is on our side."

"Then we can yet regain all the ground we may have lost," Jitra proclaimed, "and raise up the ascendancy of the Emotional Scale, here and on every Earth-variant!"

"Even on Original Earth!" cried Lubtifor, caught up in Jitra's enthusiasm.

Veblith made a negative gesture. "Not there, I'm afraid. Our powers wouldn't work there. If the horrors of reason and logic are to be extinguished on Original Earth, people NATIVE to there will have to do the job."
 
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One Sapphire Sister in the second wave who has not yet been mentioned by name was the only reptilian one to have come to Jersey Earth. Reptilian, anyway, insofar as having scales all over her skin surface. But her scales were smooth, simply helping her species to retain water on a largely arid home planet. In all biological functions, she was a mammal; and a human hugging her would not have felt scratched by her scales. She even had some hair on her head, looking like a top-tied ponytail. No human male science-fiction fan would have considered her unattractive.

Shibwazushu, as she was called, was not hoping to stimulate any romantic feelings in the also-scaly Green Flashlight named Twishdok; he was, after all, the one shaped like a velociraptor. But Rohavra had felt that the common element of being at least "sort of" reptilian might still induce Twishdok to listen to the reptilian lady with an open mind.

She found him in Osaka, Japan, in what was left of a Japanese department store. The nature of Japanese department stores was one of the countless ways that life in this mountainous nation had always been driven along certain paths by the shortage of easily-usable space. A Japanese department store would include a grocery store and sometimes a post office, these always at street level; and everything else extended NOT laterally, but straight up. Departments for clothing, furniture, toys, and so on, rose one above another.

Japanese civilians who saw Shibwazushu landing beside the high-rise commercial building were not alarmed by the sight of her; nor had they been alarmed by Twishdok. Not only had they known for many years that extraterrestrials existed, and not only had they all followed the news of many alien types coming to this Earth as Flashlights and Sapphires; but over the decades after this Earth's World War Two, they had all seen reptilian monsters in movies just like the Toho Films productions on Original Earth. One of the few differences was that, on Jersey Earth, movie monster Gojira kept his original name in English-dubbed versions, instead of being renamed "Godzilla."

Twishdok was on the toy-store level, and with him were a dozen or more Japanese adults. When the lovely lizard lady introduced herself, she was promptly informed that the oldest man present was named Sekigahara Tetsudo (family name first), and he was the building's owner-- for all the good this had done him when the place was looted months ago. One of the women had been the store's personnel director; all the others were blood relatives or in-laws of the destitute boss.

The Sekigaharas were collecting all plastic toys remaining on this floor, including kaiju toys. Twishdok explained to Shibwazushu: "Toys weren't worth stealing when desperate people were trying to find necessities of life. But melted down and reshaped into various kinds of tubs and containers, the recycled plastic will hold soil to grow vegetables. I've worked out how to use my Flashlight energy to transform waste substances into wholesome dirt; in fairness to you Sapphires, I've studied YOUR way of running such processes. We're going to use the surviving windowpanes to create a greenhouse on the roof, where the vegetables will be partway grown by the time winter hits. The nearby ocean always provides plenty of snow in a Japanese winter, and some of the snow can be melted to water the crop."

Shibwazushu wanted to remind Twishdok that the Heart Sapphires had been feeding hungry people all along, and had even established many storage locations for the food they created. But.... they hadn't prevented the global anarchy which resulted from THEIR actions, and they had not prevented Earthlings like Mister Sekigahara from being robbed and ruined.
 
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Magnet City was far from being the largest city in the New Jersey of this Earth-variant. But larger cities in the state, and in the nearby parts of Delaware and Pennsylvania, had not had persons like Trace and Bess Dickey and Sharon Rockwell to hold things together when the Heart Sapphires demolished the world's infrastructure. Thus, no thanks to the Sisterhood, Magnet City was more fortunate than many American cities: it boasted a hospital which still had SOME electricity, some pharmaceuticals, and some sanitation resources.

The badly wounded senior Sapphire Sister, the one whose name consisted of certain musical notes followed by coughing, was laid on a pallet in a corridor, because every bed was occupied at present by patients in WORSE condition than she. Her being able to endure surgery on her neck in these circumstances was greatly helped by life-sustaining Sapphire energy being poured into her by Rohavra and other chastened Sisters.

Madison Brewer, the surgeon who repaired the neck of Stairway-to-Heaven-cough-cough, was over forty years old and not physically beautiful by any standard; but the Heart Sapphires, who all gloried in being attractive, were sobered greatly by realizing the debt they owed to her and to other Earthlings.

When the Sapphire leader was able to speak, she asked Doctor Brewer: "Is Rohavra here? Or Nolarivu, or the wife and the female friend of Captain Dickey? I wish to speak to any or all of them."

Most immediately available were Nolarivu Pamizo Stewmeat and Sharon Rockwell.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

"Sharon Rockwell, I not only owe you and all of this planet an apology, I owe you the truth.

"I owe NOTHING to the one who really founded the Heart Sisterhood. He-- that surprises you, doesn't it? Surprises you both, eh, Nolarivu? We always say that we're not against males; we have to say this, because a MALE immortal created the original Heart Sapphire artifacts on Planet Tuusakkarin."

"Who was that?" both visitors asked in unison.

"IS: who 'is' that immortal. Because of John Stewmeat's involvement in defending another Earth-variant, you know of the existence of the immortal Twerpseid. Twerpseid has a cosmic-balance opposite, known as Highfyver, the sovereign of New Laziness. Highfyver's will to act is far weaker than his potential ABILITY to act. For ages, his great warriors like Impunity Man and Slightray-- the second of those was the one who interfered with your heroes during the confrontation-- have thwarted moves by Twerpseid in small-scope ways. But Highfyver shrank from REALLY fighting his opposite. Which is why the world John Stewmeat went to help, received NO help from New Laziness.

"So the ruler of New Laziness resorted to proxies-- pacifistic ones. He established the Heart Sapphires, allowing all but a few of us in any generation to think our foremothers on Tuusakkarin got the whole idea by themselves. The long game was to spread so much peace throughout those galaxies under our influence, that no one would WANT to fight anyone, so there wouldn't be any war for us to risk losing. But for this project, he allowed Grrrryll to join our Sisters, and you saw what Grrrryll did to me."

"He must have meant well," said Sharon. "I mean, it isn't WRONG to wish to prevent conflict."

"The problem," sighed Stairway-to-Heaven-cough-cough, "was and is the fact that those who listen most willingly to a message of nonviolence.... are always the ones who NEED IT THE LEAST. Our calls for tolerance and understanding were heeded and respected by societies which ALREADY WERE peaceful. When Sapphire Sisters tried to coax warlike people into being friendly and calm, it nearly always failed. If those barbarians HAD known that we were working for Highfyver, they probably would have decided that he wasn't even strong enough to NEED conquering."
 
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Additional Heart Sapphires, from both the first and the second contingent, converged in Libya in order to regain strength in numbers. Among these was the orange-skinned Sitskorba, who had been present when Grrrryll knifed Stairway-to-Heaven-cough-cough; but no one wanted to discuss that calamity. They didn't like to think of one of their leaders coming so close to an untimely death, and neither did they like thinking about how their presumed moral authority had been impaired by trying to impose their will even by non-lethal force.

Sister Veeba-Lozz-Feggas proposed that they go ahead and relocate to Italy-- in fact, to the Vatican-- and try to rally suggestible people afresh. "I hear from Sister Kalfraji that some of our Earthling supporters in Europe are heading to Rome, to try to persuade the Pope to issue an ex cathedra pronouncement that our wisdom is better than his."

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "

The Pope on Jersey Earth used the name Philip. Many English-speaking Catholics on this Earth nicknamed him Philip the Unflappable, because nothing seemed to startle him. Philip had spoken with John Stewmeat soon after John first became a Green Flashlight, and had enthusiastically pumped him for information about other worlds. When Stairway-to-Heaven-cough-cough, Tahushio Bleebu and Joza-Varu-Paf had begun the Heart Sapphire incursion, Philip had sought to meet with any Sapphire Sister, but all had snubbed him because he wasn't emotional enough.

When Veblith, Lubtifor and other Sapphires dropped in on Rome, an assistant to Pope Philip, Monsignor Dardo Bertucci, approached them. The first one of them to take notice of him was Jitra Pooklar, and he pretended not to notice her prehensile tail. Her peers decided that Jitra was as good as any Sister to inquire into human theology, so Dardo escorted her past the Austrian Guards (what this Vatican had instead of Swiss Guards) to meet Pope Philip.

The Papal interview lasted nearly two hours. It was cordial, and featured much two-way discussion of their different worlds. But Jitra was grieved to realize that Philip was never going to agree that the teenager Sawyer Boyd WAS now a giant iguana.
 
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When Jitra emerged from the Papal palace with the Monsignor, she saw the dancer-graceful Sister Kalfraji nearby, speaking to Sister Veeba and Sawyer Boyd. Half a dozen carabinieri (roughly equivalent to United States Marshals) were loitering on horseback; there was no fuel for motor vehicles.

Turning from Kalfraji, Veeba-Lozz-Feggas told Jitra, "Kalfraji says that people down the length of Italy are upset, because more than half of the olive and grape crops went to waste this year. They couldn't transport their produce to warehouses, let alone to retail grocery stores."

"But we have the solution, don't we, Sisters?" babbled Sawyer. "If they just listen to their hearts and claim their own truth, all of them can change into horses, donkeys and goats. Then they'll be able to eat grass!" With the courage of his convictions, the boy had eaten quite a few insects in the last few days. Jitra decided to keep the loudmouthed kid occupied, by engaging him in conversation about comparing his imaginary tail with her actual one.

Speaking unofficially, and aware of what had been done in Sudan and Libya, Dardo Bertucci asked Lubtifor (because she was one of the most fully human-looking Sapphire Sisters), "If you women are able to bring water to a desert..... is there any chance you could do something to restore Italy's grapes and olives?"

Lubtifor went into a huddle with several of her fellows, then rejoined the Monsignor. "Sister Sitskorba and I will give it a try. If you and somebody from the secular government will help us to identify places of need, we can fly there, inspect their fields, and try to make the crops regrow to immediate maturity."

To make this brief, Lubtifor and Sitskorba did receive directions to where they might do some good. Finding Italian vinegrowers and orchard owners whom their own Sisterhood's meddling had ruined, they identified trees and vine rows which still had enough life in them, then caused a duplicate harvest to spring forth within an hour at each location. Then they used their powers to gather the harvest, and transported crops AND owners to places where the produce could be sold. But they were told that this was not enough, unless they could facilitate further distribution.

So they did. The Sapphire Sisterhood did at least have SOME concept of not leaving a job half-completed. And, belated though this intervention was, the efforts of Sitskorba and Lubtifor did reduce the resentment that hard-working farmers felt toward their intrusive society.

Meanwhile, Kalfraji, Veblith and the others remaining in Rome persuaded spoiled university students-- who were stranded in Italy, and had been surviving by begging and less-respectable options-- to join in a noisy rally (with refreshments provided) to proclaim how glorious it was to lead a life controlled by nothing but spontaneous emotional impulses.
 
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THE HEROES ON URTH were aware that their storyline had been dragging and stalling for much too long. They were falling way behind other story arcs. Accordingly, while you readers were looking elsewhere, they all ran around a lot and did all sorts of stuff.

Greg and Ruby were finally allowed to complete their honeymoon in Cambodia. But Aluminum Banshee, Tapper Cossack, Squire Vindictive, Clean Hornet, the kickboxer Petsarat Kingpavong, the visiting superheroine Golden Rakshasa, super-dog Tin Rin Rin with his boy Jeff, the invulnerable singer Whiskey Dallas, and some other good guys including Zoorama Slippage who came over to help out magically, ran down and captured several specifically magical villains: Emir Efreet, Weebeejammin the stone giant, Red Hot Lamia the snake-woman, and Mirror Merchant.

The psychic criminal Noseypickus foresaw the offensive by the good guys, but he was away from his friends at the time and couldn't warn them to hide. So he remained a wild card in the game, attaching himself to the Crocodile Market.

Back in the Western Hemisphere, telepath Charles Crazier, assisted by assorted heroes including Doc Slippage, Nonwhite Lightning, Black Parakeet and the antlered mutant Exohern, established at last that Superdude and Superhottie WERE being held captive on Planet Senphatori with their superpowers neutralized, and that the almost-unbeatable Block Atom was behind this. Closer to home, they discovered that Falconette Gowdy-Gowdy's posh British resort ("Frankenstadt Tower") was being used as a base by the Hound Breeders' Club, a criminal ring associated with Asia's Crocodile Market. So that nest of scum and villainy was at last broken up, with such master criminals as Kern MacLowry getting arrested. This led to the discovery that MacLowry's lot had secretly facilitated Block Atom's plans, by tampering with the Tachyon Loop starflight project.

Falconette Gowdy-Gowdy was even belatedly revealed as having murdered her husband for his wealth. British jurisprudence on "Urth" being very similar to much modern Western jurisprudence on Original Earth, Falconette was allowed to say it was all "a mistake," for which the judge gave her a stern talking-to. She did, at least, forfeit her ownership of Frankenstadt Tower, which then somehow became the property of a crooked member of Parliament.

Two super-villainesses, however, had evaded capture at the time the Hound Breeders were busted: Western bad girl Rattle-Sneak and Eastern bad girl Hand-Eye. They kept their heads down, and searched for other villains who were still at liberty.

Oh yeah, and Green Flashlight Mike Deep Swimmer came home to report to the young woman Jinzafel that her family members on her birth planet still were living. Nothing special ensued from this, because Mike still considered himself too old to pursue young Jinzafel romantically. That's life.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \
 
Professor Crazier could not be quite certain, but strongly suspected, that those who had lately come from Senphatori, especially the Tachyon Loop test pilots Ululani Atuf and Frankie Chiang, had something like tripwires in their brains, which might alert Block Atom and his cohorts if the tampered-with people got un-tampered. Accordingly, while keeping an eye on the "tourists," the Justified League and several sympathetic world governments went to work taking measures which the innocent pawns would not know about, so could not transmit to the villains even unconsciously.

A ship similar to Hope of Urth (thus able to use the same schematics) was built in a hurry, with Mike Deep Swimmer helping in various aspects of the construction. Meanwhile, Doc Slippage went back to Awkwardlisp via dimensional tunnel, to request more help for a likely battle against Block Atom.

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"Your Majesty--"

"Please, call me Preston. Is the Urth mission doing well?"

"Where conditions ON that variant are concerned, very well. Indigenous evil forces have suffered some big defeats there. But we now know that Urth's allied world of Senphatori has fallen under a separate evil influence." Kirk Slippage handed over a thumb drive. "This contains a summary of recent metahuman crimefighting on Urth. Now, here's another one, detailing what we know about the Senphatorian situation.

"We still don't know how capable Urth's alien enemies are of observing us from a distance. But not knowing what became of the Tonkrypian cousins adds urgency for the Justified League. I know that Awkwardlisp has enormous reconnaissance resources. Can you get a direct look at Planet Senphatori?"
..............................................

Thirteen hours later, back on Urth, Zoorama mentally contacted Charles Crazier.

"My mystic link with my Kirk has delivered the news. Preston Vincent's people have confirmed that Superdude and Superhottie are alive, but depowered. Partly responsible for this is a mental-powered woman who comes from a remarkable sub-universe. One remarkable fact about her sub-universe is that MY native Earth-variant has been visited by people from there. Because of this, I know about the quasi-magical power the villainess on Senphatori possesses. It's called The Chatter....."
......................................................

Doctor Unusual was no stranger to mental communication, be it mystical or science-based. All the easier when the person "calling" him was a friend who had worked with him.

"Stanley?" Zoorama began. Stanley was the sorceror's little-used first name. "Are any of those 'Ashtrayides' people still on Seedubb?"

"Sorry, no. They're off space-traveling. How are you and Kirk doing?"

"Well enough, and in the thick of the action. A woman with mind-control talent like the Ashtrayides people is part of the situation we're confronting on 'Urth.' And with her is a MAJOR physical-threat villain. How does the good-against-evil picture look on Seedubb right now?"

"Very good for our side, actually, knock on wood. So if you need reinforcements over there, that can probably happen."
 
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Three days after the end of the previous post, Stanley Unusual stood inside the largest enclosed space at Spark Laboratories, maintaining psychic communication with Zoorama Sotero-Slippage on Awkwardlisp, in order to ensure exact accuracy when the interstellar gateway manifested. Watching this procedure, besides non-superpowered researchers at the facility, were Aquaticman and his wife Maritima (who was in every conceivable way a better person than a certain spoiled-brat actress), The Whoosh, Captain Patriot, Green Crossbow, Marysuefire, Goldfinch..... and Batfellow, who was NOT going to be left out of this adventure.

A simple Spark Labs-built robot, shaped like Brutus Dwayne, would be seen going here and there in Urbanopolis while Batfellow was known to be away, keeping up the feeble pretense that Brutus WASN'T Batfellow.

With so many Seedubber heroes already absent on the space voyage with the Ashtrayides family (including Groan Starr and Princess Vixen), SOME heroes needed to stay at home and guard their own Earth. The concerns of Tatlantis would be attended to by King Reecola of the Fishfolk, with his daughter Princess Reelnyce and her consort Beef Boy. (Your historian reminds you that Beef Boy could live in the shape of a Fishperson as long as he wished, yet still be able to change back to his original human form if he needed to walk around on land.) And in Aquaticman's absence, the formidable Queenkraken would accept orders from King Reecola. Above water, the free world would be guarded by Green Flashlight Ryan Pebbles, Catfemale, Huntergirl, Flatwing, the converted-to-goodness Face Twister Maskoflage, and Teen Tryouts Blue Junebug and Raisin.

The dimensional tunnel's mouth opened as planned, without mishap. The first person to step through it was a bit startling: a man almost nine feet tall, wearing very comicbook-looking clothes. He announced himself as follows:

"Dang, this is awesome! Now I've had a look at TWO alternate Earths! I wish Erica could be here to share this moment with me. Pardon my touristy gawking. My name's Preston Vincent, born in the place your world calls 'Australia.' But now my stage name is King Truthside. If any ladies present want to know about a man who owes his position to his wife, you're looking at him. It was my Erica who caused me to receive my new powers. But to get back to business: within the next hour or so, some of my technicians will come up the wormhole, to share some of our technology with your staff here." Looking around, his eyes fell on Doctor Unusual. "You're the sorceror. Thank you for your assistance."

Batfellow, who was very hard to impress, approached the massive newcomer and shook hands. "It's we who thank you for assistance." Then he pulled back his costume cowl. "Everyone in this room knows who I am: Brutus Dwayne. Do you have a me on your Earth?"

"No, we don't," King Truthside answered. "And if 'Ooorth' has a counterpart of you, he never went into the superhero profession."

"Meaning no offense," put in Marysuefire, "but the laboratory team here is capable of interacting with your incoming technicians. Whereas my crowd needs to get started learning about the worlds, plural, that we'll be involved with. How soon can we take the tunnel?"

"Sooner than you think. Twerpseid, who forfeited his powers to me, was able to create HIS OWN time-space corridors. I've been practicing-- with non-living objects at first, of course, then with volunteers; and now I'm confident of success, which Zoorama can confirm."

"Do you have a predetermined arrival point for us on 'Ooorth'?" asked Batfellow.

"So I do. As with my arrival point here, your arrival point there will be concealed. It's an underground chamber, about as big as this place, directly beneath Justified League Main Headquarters. Just like your science personnel here, employees of the League will meet you there."

"Does this mean that their superheroes are busy already, even before we start the campaign against Block Atom?" asked Goldfinch.

Batfellow smiled. "What King Truthside means is that Ooorth's hero organization wants to APPEAR as if it has lots of business going on ELSEWHERE THAN their headquarters."

Truthside smiled back. "Exactarooney. This way, the local superheroes-- them, and the ones from my own Earth-- will gain time to make further preparations for the Senphatori expedition, before enemy spies can find out that the locals have help from THIS Earth-variant."

A short while after this exchange, Green Crossbow whispered to Batfellow, " 'Justified League': I like the sound of that. Maybe we should start a group like it. I could provide offices for it at my corporate base in Startled City."

Batfellow nodded. "And for East Coast purposes, Dwayne Enterprises could probably spare a floor of conference rooms."
 
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On Urth, enough business was going on for heroes that only two unequivocal metahumans were on post at Justified League headquarters: Brazilian Flame and Howie Maui. (Black Stingray, a good guy in this reality, was keeping in contact with Howie while scouting back and forth in the ocean.) For a marginal metahuman, the ex-War Witch Phormidba was also hanging out there. With her were the retired Senphatorian teacher Toblia Jadzug; the somewhat-younger woman Veelo Bamrac who had been the first Senphatorian to feel returning memories of events on Senphatori; and Urthling Enrique Ridondo, an administrator from the Tachyon Loop installation in Texas. These last four were talking in depth with non-superpowered auxiliary personnel of the Justified League, covering every subject that might help heroes to know what to expect on an expedition to the other planet. Partway through this, they were joined by Roby "Fighting Machine" Doby from Earth-Whichever.

Veelo remembered someone, who she guessed had to have been Block Atom, getting on all Senphatori mass media to give a speech. When hearing Veelo recount this, Toblia began remembering it also, with an added recollection of all her neighbors feeling reassured rather than frightened by what the outsider told them. At this point, Roby asked the two women if they remembered anything about Block Atom showing or offering weapons that his new subjects might use in his service. Straining to remember, Toblia was pretty sure that the interloper had said existing Senphatorian armaments were good enough.

) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) ) )

On Senphatori, Block and Serrimu were welcoming more new recruits.

"These," Plasstar told them, "are my sisters. Each of them has eighty percent of my physical strength, and they both have specialties which affect an adversary's eyesight and breathing, though at a shorter range than my plasma bursts. Danrufa here sheds blinding dust clouds from her scalp, while Belcharis chokes people with eruptions of stomach gas. We would also have brought our brother Eetbeenzar, but The Dancing Lawn wouldn't want to describe how his power works."

"Excellent," said Princess Serrimu; "we welcome your sisters. Who's next?"

A large erect-walking reptilian fellow stepped up and bowed. He had bony blades growing from his tail, and from the outward side of each hand, plus a sturdy horn on his snout. "Greetings, mighty ones. Your excellent evilness has favorably impressed the Queen of the Goshdarned, so she personally transported me to this planet to assist you. I am just magical enough that it is not easy for mortal weapons to kill me, and my attacks could at least painfully wound a Tonkrypian. Also, by looking at any person, I can tell if they possess any supernormal abilities. My name translates into human speech as 'Circle-Slice.' I am available to serve you for three Senphatorian years. Make that seven years, if you consent to institute human sacrifice on this planet."

"We can talk about that again two years from now," Serrimu told him. Nodding approval at his consort's words, Block Atom added, "If this is eventually agreed on, I stipulate that NO ONE shall be sacrificed unless they are known to have disobeyed Serrimu and me, or if they are outside enemies captured in battle. We're not low-life thugs, we are LAWFUL evil."

( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( ( (

Over the course of that day, another dozen or so reasonably tough warriors, all of totally non-human races, offered their loyalty to Block Atom, and were accepted upon Serrimu vetting them with her Penny Jezebel intuition. But a substantial bonus was to come the next day.

Serrimu sensed the coming of a Dune-series-type starship, and hastened to assure her consort that this would be bringing lawful-evil characters like themselves. And so it proved. The most prominent persons on board the ship were both known to Serrimu as having been in exile on Planet Lousy Sekondhanstor: Imperial Truth-Babbler Twitfloozie, and Colonel Gruntygoon of the Calamari Dynasty's Elite Imperial Guards.

When these two, accompanied by a Lazytaxie scientist, had been welcomed at the residence used by Senphatoru's ruling couple, Twitfloozie addressed Serrimu:

"Jazzica, her family, and the turncoat Eerilake, believe they have us completely intimidated, now that they've prevented us from gaining any advantage through the Goulash clone of Duke Neato the Pure-Hearted and Generally Likeable. This man, Bustabeaker, was part of that cloning project, and will collaborate with whatever local scientists you have in your service. As long as the Ashtrayides don't notice any untoward activity recognizable as originating from us, they'll assume we're harmless. It follows that our interests are best served by getting in on some action OUTSIDE of our own Frank Herbert-derived sub-reality."
 
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Corky "Superdude" Klint and his cousin Clara "Superhottie" Klint had become apathetic over weeks of captivity. They knew that one or the other of them had sometimes been away from Urth for many days, without leaving an itinerary for the League. Now this habit had come back to bite them. Their colleagues would be assuming that they had found some distant world in urgent need of their protection; and even Professor Crazier's Secret Plotline-Advancing Machine could not find out EVERYTHING.

Now the cousins were eating cold pizza in their red-sunlight dungeon. Adding insult to injury, Corky disliked pineapple on pizza, but had been directly ordered by Serrimu (using The Chatter) to eat the pineapple placed on his portion, while the reverse was also true for Clara.

All at once a cosmic vortex opened up right where the bathroom door was. Both depowered Tonkrypians thought reflexively of Twerpseid, and felt a shiver of involuntary fear. Then a tall, broad figure emerged from the dimensional tunnel-mouth, momentarily heightening their dread. But the FACE of the newcomer was human, completely unlike Twerpseid; and no Pukedemons accompanied him.

"Superb Dude? Superb Hottie?" It must be understood that Preston Vincent had grown up on an Earth-variant where there were no D.C. comic books, let alone living, breathing parallel versions of Superman and his cousin. "In case you're confused, the Twerpseid you remember has lost HIS superpowers permanently, and by an act of good magic his powers were given to me. Now I use the stage name of Truthside. I'm from a different edition of Urth, which was the last place Twerpseid invaded before he and his children lost their powers. The whole planet Awkwardlisp has now been claimed for the side of righteousness, and we've begun redirecting its resources to healthy purposes. After making contact with your home planet, my friends and I learned that you two had gone missing."

"So do you know about Block Atom?" asked Superhottie.

"We do, and we know about his kind-of-telepathic mistress. Because of HER, we need to clear out right away. I only spent this much time talking so you wouldn't be all confused. I have to get you to safety, so they can't kill you or use you as hostages. Let me carry you. I have to keep you close for you to fit inside my personal tunnel. Before we evacuate, is there anything here that I ought to bring away with us?"

"Nothing holding a useful record," replied Superdude. "They never installed monitor cameras. Maybe Block wants to assure Princess Serrimu that he trusts her to sense any ominous changes.".

Preston Vincent nodded. "From what I've learned, you two have been kept weak for so long, that you won't spring back immediately. But we've got enough other heroes anyway, that I think even Block Atom will be going down. Enough, though, let's beat feet!" And Preston hefted the two cousins under his arms.

Less than a minute later, they were inside Justified League headquarters, and friends including Jimmy Ulcer were piling onto them with relieved, affectionate welcomes. Corky and Clara had to tell themselves repeatedly that this deliverance was genuine. Howie Maui informed Corky that Luisa was at a medical appointment right now, but that she and the close-to-term baby were just fine. Their familiar friends gave them time to adjust before introducing the reinforcements from Earth-Whichever and Seedubb.

When introduced to Superdude, Batfellow made a cryptic remark: "It will probably do you good to have experienced what the rest of us have to feel every day: the knowledge of your own mortality."
 
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Once given a ride to where Luisa was, Corky heard good news from his wife:

"Did you feel new strength when I first hugged you? That wasn't just because you're temporarily weakened; I've actually picked up some of our son's strength! I'll never be able to fly or shoot rays with my eyes, nor be bulletproof; but I'll be strong enough that we won't have to worry about the baby accidentally hurting me after the sun starts empowering him.

"All the doctors believe that my own strengthening will be permanent. Which means, let's be sure to have more children!"

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

When Aquaticman and Queen Maritima had first been introduced to Urth's Moistureman, the two ocean kings had simultaneously exclaimed: "So I have BLACK/BLOND hair on your world??"

Maritima had then asked the fair-haired water-lord, "Are you married to a counterpart of me?" Moistureman, who on Urth had the birth-name of Arthur Gurgly, had sighed and given his answer:

"I was, but not anymore. My queen, Waterella, looked like you, but only on the outside. She wanted to run everything her way; wouldn't listen to anyone, even on subjects which they understood and she didn't. If I so much as tried to reason with her, she would scream that I was 'controlling' her. Two years ago, then, she made up a story that I was physically mistreating her. Professor Crazier's telepathy, and other means of truth-finding, all proved me innocent, but she just claimed that this proved there was a patriarchal conspiracy against her. I still wanted to restore the marriage, but she insisted on divorcing me.

"Waterella tried to claim the entire kingdom of Splatlantis as alimony, but nobody, male or female, surface or aquatic, would go along with that. Now she lives in our version of a mental institution."

Hearing this, Howie Maui had remarked to the Seedubb-Tatlantean couple, "Now, every unattached mer-woman in our oceans wants to get with him, but he isn't ready to move on."

A different moving on, however, was possible. The water-breathers were now sticking to business in all conversations. Moistureman, who was among the Urthian heroes remaining at home to safeguard homeworld, was going to spend coming days openly showing himself here and there, doing things he would normally do. This, it was hoped, would convince any hostile spies on Urth that the Justified League was not yet ready to move against Block Atom. Such spies definitely would not be allowed to find out that another Aquaman-derivative was available to spearhead any underwater operations on Senphatori.
 
APPROACHING THE PLANET BOPTEEBOPTIMUS PRIME in the Bopteebop System, the captured ship secretly renamed Adjustment, now commanded by Moose Windchime, had one ex-Imperial defector on board besides Flint Lockhart. This man's name was Dobro Grassblue, and he had been a reactor technician in the engineering department of this very ship. He was valuable both for his practical skills, and for the fact that bad guys on the target planet would recognize his voice on subspace radio. The reason why Dobro had been willing to switch allegiance was because, for all his prior time on board this ship, he had seen his rank-superiors taking the credit for good work HE had done.

As Adjustment came near the distance mark beyond which it would need permission to approach any closer to Bopteeboptimus Prime, its comm system was patched through to the reactor compartment, and it was showtime for Dobro.

"Bobteebop Navigation Control Center, this is Escort Cruiser Wanton Violence, requesting clearance to assume parking orbit. We are bringing combat casualties from the suppression of the slave rebellion. All are in stable condition, but will need restorative surgery before they can resume normal duty status."

"Wanton Violence, we copy," responded a female voice. "Engineer's Mate Grassblue, you have a pleasing voice, but why are you using it at the radio console just now?"

"Comms Officer Tagbosh was planetside during the action, and inhaled some caustic fumes. He'll be all right soon, but he has asked me to talk for him for the rest of this run."

The woman's voice turned subtly colder. "Hmmm, you don't say. Tell me, what is Tagbosh's favorite color?"

"First Sergeant Milspecka Stratt, we both know that every time anyone asks the Comms Officer that question, he replies that he has a different favorite every day, and always waits at least two days before he repeats any color."

Milspecka's voice thawed out again. Very well, Wanton Violence, take Approach Trajectory Twenty-Five Six-Two-Four. Park behind the mining-service ship, two hundred miles separation."

When the link was cut, everybody congratulated Dobro on his acting job. He told them, "If you feel like rewarding me, then don't damage the command post where Milspecka's working."

Flint grinned at this. "Maybe we can request that she be transferred to this ship's crew."

In the hope of preventing ANYONE from being harmed on either side, Moose and Hoppaway exerted their Fuss powers in tandem. Reaching out to every hostile ship now in orbit, they sensed where each vessel's combat computer was, and caused subtle cracks to form in vital parts of those computers.
 
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One thing that was genuine about the ship's false pretenses was the part about transporting casualties. Eight wounded Imperial soldiers from the slave-camp world, under sedation, were handed over to medical personnel on Bopteeboptimus Prime. These casualties had been unconscious for all the time in which they might have learned that their side had lost the battle. Flint, who would be recognized by the locals, oversaw the transfer of patients, and accepted a general stockpile of medical supplies.

Milspecka Stratt came by, intending to greet Dobro, and got inside the landed ship before Flint could make up an excuse to keep her out. But Melodica was on hand, and hastily put to use the training Moose had given her.

MELODICA: You have now said hello to everyone in this crew whom you would expect to see.

MILSPECKA: I have now said hello to everyone in this crew whom I would expect to see.

MELODICA: Everything appears to be as it should be.

MILSPECKA: Everything appears to be as it should be.

MELODICA: When you return to your duties, you will think seriously about your feelings for Dobro Grassblue, who is a terrific guy.

MILSPECKA: When I return to my duties, I will think seriously about my feelings for Dobro Grassblue, who is a terrific guy.

So it all worked out. The good guys obtained valuable supplies, convinced everyone on Bopteeboptimus Prime that the "slave uprising" had been put down, gained time for their friends back on the liberated planet to decide their next move, and got away cleanly.

They had not needed to stake their survival on the effectiveness of the sabotage done to enemy armaments; and by the time Imperial personnel detected that sabotage, it would be unclear how the damage had occurred.
 
When the returning Adjustment opened comms with Takniss --which someone had finally figured out was the name of the liberated planet-- they heard that ships from Bubblewrap Five had pulled in the day before. There were five Earthlyforce combatants, two Snitsnobbie cruisers, and the now-famous Braykpedduli ship Queen Yessa. Woodrow Ackerman, as captain of the armed transport ship, was busy determining whether Imperial armories on Takniss possessed any antiship missiles which could be adapted for his own use.

Telepath Chelsea Sandalzon was among the new arrivals, and soon was greatly in demand, because she could transmit into other people's brains her own memories of taking part in the campaign against the horrid Glukks. Whether by her telepathy or by more ordinary means, everyone who knew anything about the Bubblewrap Coalition was delighted to learn the outcome. The uber-evil Glukks had lost conclusively. Some had escaped into remote regions of space; but it was estimated that eighty percent of all Glukks in existence had either surrendered or been killed. Chelsea would soon be returning to Coalition space, where she was needed. Earthling telepaths, Mintcandybarri telepaths, Braykpedduli telepaths and Snitsnobbie telepaths would be kept busy for months to come, forcibly conditioning the surviving Glukks to become non-aggressive.

Up-Side Master Quinine Sauce rode in on one of the Snitsnobbie ships, and spoke to Jifpek Dagla at the first opportunity.

"Before the ship I've just been on joined the counteroffensive against the Glukks, it performed a year-long anti-piracy patrol on the edge of Snitsnobbie space. They were working the side closest to the Empire of Evil Badness. Late in that period, they detected a ship of unfamiliar design. Using their plotline-convenient inter-lingual array, they were able to question the aliens. These turned out to be from a planet called Furstink, and had ears as big as your hands. When we asked them about their business, they explained that their whole civilization existed for only one purpose: to convince all OTHER civilizations that any and all INDIVIDUAL OWNERSHIP of property was the same thing as theft.

"After this, the patrollers weren't very surprised to learn that the Furstinky ship was carrying slaves. Precisely because the Snitsnobbies had only recently stopped keeping slaves themselves, they came down hard on the Furstinkies, confiscating their ship and making THEM work to make restitution to their victims.

"And here's the punchline, Mister Dagla. Almost half of the three hundred captives the Snitsnobbies liberated were of YOUR species. They have been working FOR PAY on a Snitsnobbie-held planet, while awaiting a chance to return home. Now there's a chance to repatriate them to your native planet. The Snitsnobbies aren't strong enough in space-navy terms to mount an expedition for this purpose over so much distance. But the Republic of Lots of Worlds is closer at hand; and the ship your bunch now controls can be part of the repatriation."
 
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REJOINING THE LAST TOWERMAN:

The first human beings Ronald's expedition saw after passing Punksteema's north pole were bear hunters. Note that the bears in question were not the tundra bears which have been described previously. These were like Earthly Kodiak bears, only LESS friendly. Polarboy and the other saddle-deer were spooked by the smell of blood from a newly killed carcass. Burzu Yunsh of the Sogmilla dismounted, and jogged toward the hunters on foot. He held his consecrated spear (the one that could kill a non-material ghost) off to one side, its point aimed behind him: not the position he would have taken if he meant to attack anyone.

In the ocean-less arctic wastes of Punksteema, there existed a sort of commerce-language: a useful thing, when huntsmen from all the way around the northern hemisphere might meet each other up here. Most northern countries referred to it, logically enough, as "hunter's language." Burzu spoke with the hunting party for about a quarter-hour, occasionally gesturing back toward his companions. Eventually, the leading hunter gave Burzu a gift: a section of bear hide with flesh still attached, a handy means of carrying the edible gift. The leader then looked past Burzu, and beckoned all of the travelers to come on over. This leader's name was Jorbin Chag.

Burzu quickly told the Towerman, "My part was almost entirely letting Master Chag know where we came from, and who YOU are in particular; I have not yet raised the subject of undead walkers." Through the Sogmilla huntsman's interpretation, Ronald asked Jorbin a series of questions-- which, for courtesy, began with inquiring how their hunting had prospered. Jorbin soon revealed that their country, called Upper Wenzeppu, needed all the food supplies it could get for households with children and elderly persons, because many husbands and fathers, heads of households, had recently died. Just like that, real business was on the table.

"Meaning no disrespect, Jorbin Chag, what caused these losses?"

"Poison. The Lower Wenzeppuans, in exchange for furs we harvest, bring us various goods from lands south of them. Especially prized by us is wine: something which can't be produced this far north. Thirteen days ago, all of our villages observed an annual festival, in which men hold a feast one night which they prepare themselves, then the women do the same the next night. Wine was provided for the successive nights..... but there WAS NO second feast this time. Of all men who drank wine the first night, one in every six died, with two more falling ill. My sons and nephews and I escaped this harm only because we were already out hunting."

"Do you suspect the Lower Wenzeppuans?"

"No, because wine from the south comes to us in casks with distinct seals. No Lower Wenzeppuan trader ever opens a trade cask. Nor do they have any cause to wish us harm. We shield them from occasional raids by Sledge Nomads."

"Are your neighbors even aware of the deaths?"

"Yes. We do not possess the wires which carry words; but several of the traders were still in Upper Wenzeppu when the poisoning occurred."

"Do they have any possible culprit in mind?"

"Not yet, but the King of Lower Wenzeppu has given us his blood oath that he will never stop trying to find and punish the murderers."

No news of zombies/ghouls/liches came up in the conversation. But what WAS going on in Jorbin Chag's homeland was mission enough to occupy a Towerman and his adherents. The Upper Wenzeppuans did remember the legends of the gunslinger-paladins, and Ronald of Goliad pledged his best efforts to resolve this crisis.

Despite not seeming to involve the immortal villain Jaheg-Jorod, this news was momentous enough to warrant Lester Grath sending the first of his homing ravens back toward Heskadug with a written report: "REACHED UPPER WENZEPPU SAFELY. UNKNOWN ENEMY HAS POISONED MANY THERE. INVESTIGATING."
 
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FOR THE FOLLOWING SCENE, MOVE BACKWARDS IN TIME BY ABOUT A WEEK.

The civilizations of Planet Punksteema had no unified standard for defining eastern and western hemispheres. But approximately opposite to the longitude of Upper Wenzeppu (somewhat like the separation between Chicago and Athens for us, if Wenzeppu is Chicago) lay the kingdom of Mifdola, whose righteous King Feckladast had been assassinated by traitors. Those of knowledge-wizard Felipe Catalano's party who were not engaged in the hunt for the prime suspects in that crime, were making themselves useful in the Mifdolan capital. As our scene opens, we find the teenage girl Heejee faf-Tujan test-firing newly-manufactured military rifles, mounted on a tripod because her upper-body strength was greatly inferior to her sniping skill. The makes of the rifles varied, as did the telescopic sights designed by the girl's widowed mother, Sazka faf-Boli. Army officers would use Heejee's results to help decide which rifle models and which gunsight models ought to be manufactured in quantity.

Among the onlookers was the sixteen-year-old Queen Sotavalit (accent the second syllable), the reigning monarch of Mifdola since her father's death. At a moment when soldiers carried away one rifle and brought the next one for Heejee, Sotavalit walked up to her.

"Heejee daughter of Tujan, I am impressed by your skill; and no one in my realm sees any reason why women cannot learn to use firearms. But I've never handled a gun myself. Would you please show me at least a beginning of how it's done?"

"Of course, Your Majesty. Here, you should begin by sitting on my stool and seeing the world as a shooter sees it. Feel free to look though the scope, but for now do not touch the trigger."

When the Queen was seated, Heejee continued: "When you use a firearm, there's no such thing as north, east, west or south. Instead, the directions in your world are which way the wind blows, where the sun would be in your eyes, and above all the two CRUCIAL directions: downrange and uprange."

Sotavalit smiled. "As I understand it, 'downrange' is where your bullets would go, while 'uprange' is where you DON'T want any bullets to go."

Heejee smiled back. "Very good, Your Majesty."

"Psssst, please call me Sotavalit. I'm hardly any older than you, and in some areas you are the more knowledgeable of us."

"As you like, Sotavalit. The next item is: ALWAYS ASSUME that a weapon IS loaded, and never point it at anything or anyone you would regret killing....."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Into the hole-in-the-wall known as Vulture's Vomit Villa came two men, a female tundra bear, and a doomrat who really was an ensorcelled man. Hemrogo the Mifdolan walked beside the bear Daintycrunch; Billyboy the human-souled doomrat was accompanied by Felipe Catalano's hardcase cousin Ysidro Lopez. They were on the trail of Lord Prendok Fegsor and his accomplice Thellark, but so far had no clear proof that either of the traitors had come this way. That, however, was why an airship would be reconnoitering other possible escape routes.

The Gun Vultures, as the ruling gang called themselves, controlled everything in their town; but they maintained TWO separate taverns, five blocks apart. This was to enable them to keep mortal enemies away from each other. But Ysidro and Hemrogo had no particular enemies here that they knew of. So they simply went into the nearer of the two drinking establishments. Daintycrunch and Billyboy politely waited outside, and Slatry the tavernkeeper, unflappable in the presence of these dangerous beasts, brought pans of water and hunks of meat out for them. Tundra bear and doomrat both acknowledged his kindness as they could.

The two men both scanned the room as they entered. Both noticed that three men at a table to the right were looking at Ysidro. Without a word, Hemrogo moved several paces away from his companion-- so that the others, if hostile, would be forced to watch two directions at once. This done, Hemrogo turned most of his immediate attention to anyone ELSE in the tavern who might be interested in them.

The tallest of the trio rose from his chair and glowered at Ysidro. Patrons who would be in the line of fire if that man drew a gun, quickly moved to other tables or left the tavern.

Speaking in a commerce language: "You're the Gromstarker, Snake-Hand Ysidro. You killed my two brothers--"

This was as far as the bully got. Faster than anyone could follow, Ysidro drew his own revolver and put a bullet through each of the tall man's shoulders. Other things followed. The tall man's two friends raised their hands high; Slatry came alongside Ysidro holding two single-shot but heavy-caliber pistols, in case anyone else made trouble; Hemrogo hastened to go out and reassure Daintycrunch, lest she demolish the whole tavern in his defense; and Billyboy came in to make sure his friend was all right.

Ysidro coolly asked his unsuccessful foe: "Were your brothers named Jerruck and Bedloth?" Getting a surly nod in reply, he went on, loudly enough that the whole room could hear: "Your worthless brothers-- behaved badly-- toward the daughter of some friends of mine. I gave Jerruck and Bedloth the option of merely submitting to a flogging, then paying civil damages in court-- since my friends could have used the money; but your brothers thought they could cancel their courtroom appearance by canceling my life. It didn't work out for them.

"Now, this is your lucky evening. I will NOT send you to join them in The Bad Place, and I'll even give you my word not to go out of my way to bother you in the future, provided you tell me everything you know about any hunted fugitives who may have passed this way in recent days. Note that there's no wrong answer, provided you speak truth. Be advised that my doomrat here can SMELL a liar; and he loves the taste of a liar's blood."
 
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The merchant steamship Speculation, out of N'Dazpor, owned by the widow Jutmeddu Bishtal, pulled into the principal seaport of Elsitobrek (accent the third syllable). In longitude, this nation on the coastline of Arcondoyla was six hundred miles west of a meridian passing through Wenzeppu, and much farther south in latitude.

Part of the Speculation's cargo was a product of the N'Dazporhai book-printing industry.

The Elsitobri people had no movable-type printing presses, and therefore often bought printed books from the N'Dazporhai, who did have such presses. The Long Quest Church Alliance, which existed in Elsitobrek and in three adjoining countries, had a good-quality translation of the Bible in their language, but had never been able to mass-produce it. An incident unrelated to Sir Ronald's adventures had brought a change: two Long Quest clergymen had successfully performed five authentic exorcisms of genuine demons which no sorcerer had been able to drive out. This had brought hundreds of new families into the fold of that church body, which already enjoyed general goodwill because it WASN'T in ministry just for the money. Therefore a demand had been created for more Elsitobri-language Bibles; and family members of the persons rescued from demon possession had put up the funds to have the printing done by N'Dazpor's best publishing house.

Jutmeddu owned some stock in that publishing house, and so had greatly reduced the transportation charge for shipping the crates of Bibles.

When the gangplank was lowered, the Loi-Tidumo harbormaster who had sailed with Jutmeddu hurried ashore to meet several Elsitobri businessmen who were awaiting him. The first local resident to speak to Jutmeddu was a female acquaintance just a little younger than herself: Mrs. Reeblin Dessdorp, the wife of the elder of the two successful exorcists, and an overseer of Bible teachers.

"Blessings to you, Mrs. Bishtal! Are the Bibles all safe?"

"The only danger to them is that someone might mispronounce names when reciting aloud."

Reeblin gazed upward. "Funny that you mention pronunciation. None of us in Elsitobrek knows for certain how Ishwa's name was actually pronounced in His mortal lifetime on Original Earth." (She was, of course, naming the Lord Yeshua/Jesus in the way her people pronounced His name.) "Yet when Fritch and Lunt--" (these being her husband and his fellow exorcist) "--invoked the name 'Ishwa,' the demons were forced to give way."

"That's not so strange," replied Jutmeddu. "The unclean spirits would have known WHO WAS MEANT by the invocation."

"You're right. But I still wonder how it is, when Ishwa obviously lived His incarnate life on an altogether different planet from ours, that we come to have the written record of His works, death and resurrection on OUR planet?"

The shipowner shrugged. "It was the Creator's will that it should be so."
 
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Returning to Disappointment Plateau on the continent of Wellvernia, west of Tidumo: Copperfox begs to remind you who the black women were who camped there many pages ago. The name of their inland home country will be decided when and if this becomes necessary.

In descending order of age, with the eldest of them being nearly sixty and the youngest in her early twenties, their names were Mukuma, Florence, Abigail and Halima. Their diversity of names existed because Punksteema reflected the laziness of novelists who don't bother about ethnic or cultural consistency for their characters. (Think of the "Seeker" series, in which the story-world has NO connection with Earth, yet it can have a central character named "Richard.") None of the travelers was closely related by blood to any other. They were all single and unattached, Mukuma and Florence being widows. There was just one kinship connection: Abigail was a younger sister of Florence's late husband Yohakim.

On a fine morning-- or as fine as a morning ever was on this plateau-- Halima was dishing out breakfast to her companions, when hoofbeats became audible from the south, which on this highland was also downhill. Florence made ready a musket, but the approaching traveler was not behaving in a threatening fashion. He appeared to be racially like the women, though not clad in garments which would usually be seen in their homeland. He was riding on the back of a camelopard: the same kind of working animal used by Skagruth Johnston of the Sail and Harness Freight Company. Camelopards were native to the south continent, but had long ago begun to be exported to Arcondoyla.

Once within hailing distance, the man called out in a commerce language: "Good health to you, descendants of greatness! My name is Brewster of Goliad! I am acquainted with Sir Ronald of Goliad, the Last Towerman, who soon will cease to be the last one."

"And to what do we owe this visit from a dweller in that small but renowned freehold?" asked Mukuma.

"If you have heard the tale of how Sir Ronald cleansed the Ominous Lands from the Wolves of the Crybabiya, you perhaps realize that the Almighty Creator means for the Towermen AND the Smoke Maidens to regain their former strength and prestige. Four good spirits laid blessings on Ronald, and transported him across the Equatorial Ocean to perform his rebuilding mission in Arcondoyla."

"We didn't know that last part," Abigail confessed, "but we had heard about the cleansing of the Ominous Lands."

"Well, the same four spirits appeared to me, described the four of you, and sent me to seek you out. Generations ago, the Smoke Maidens of this continent fell into vanity, chose to resent the fact that the Towermen simply were stronger physically than they were, and petulantly emigrated to Arcondoyla. This is why there no Smoke Maidens in all of Wellvernia today. But there WILL be Smoke Maidens here again, just as there will be new Towermen in the north.

"Abigail, I know that you know that you had a Smoke Maiden among your ancestors. Mukuma and Halima, I now inform you that you also had Smoke Maiden foremothers. And you, Florence, had a Towerman as one of your great-great-grandfathers. All of you can become the mentors of a new generation of gun-women. And with firearms in our time being more efficient than in past ages, your difference from men in muscular strength will matter less than at any former period in history."

+++++++++++++++++
 
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The Spirit Kookaburra from Ostralia on Earth-Whichever, the neutral-good-aligned being who communed with Kuparr "Dreamtime Chieftain" Daku, visited King Preston Truthside Vincent back on Awkwardlisp. The demigod-ish bird told Preston, in substance:

"Remember how you came to have the opportunity to harness the might of Awkwardlisp for the cause of goodness. Defense of your homeworld was necessary, but not sufficient. Only by COUNTERATTACKING could your Erica and the others finally make an end of Twerpseid's wicked reign. You are not wrong to want to keep your son Eric safe; but you can provide him with adequate protection for the time it will take to put Block Atom down-- without YOURSELF staying out of the action, when you're the very one who can beat Block Atom. Stony Stork as Iron Gent, supported by Kuparr's magic and the combat skill of the reformed War Witches, should be more than good enough to keep your son safe inside some fortified place, for the time it will take to liberate Planet Senphatori....."

" " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " " "
Fortuitously, an extra bit of reinforcement showed up soon after the kookaburra's visit. One of the non-humanoid Green Flashlights who had been on Jersey Earth, Shimtuku the cricket-shaped one, could be spared from the Flashlights' dealings with Heart Sapphires. He had come to Awkwardlisp because the other Flashlights agreed that Awkwardlisp should be notified about New Laziness covertly interfering with other planets. Thanking Shimtuku for the information, Truthside in turn explained the showdown with Block Atom which was imminent, and asked the cricketoid to join the temporary guard detail for little Eric Vincent.

"I can assist you in telling the other Flashlights that you delivered your report to me. I don't see a need to do anything soon about King Highfyver. By the way, is everything well with the heroes from my own Earth who went to the other Earth you've just been on?"

"As of when I left, Sushi, Jimmy and Jasmine were well, and making themselves useful."

So a Green Flashlight was added to the young prince's bodyguard force. The diapered boy still had no idea that his father, now a cosmic monarch, had started out as a helicopter pilot flying charters across the Ostralian bush country.
 
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