Spacebullies Two: The Search For More Parody

[Copperfox]

More E.R. Burroughs copycatting remains to be done-- but with a little crossover stuff.

Bazookadar is a complete planet, just inside-out. So it needs to have some variety.

Long before any sapient beings had lived full-time on the exterior of Planet Freesoil, some of those abundant super-duper-everything -doing ancient aliens paid a visit. These were the Shadythings, my version of alien villains in the Babylon Five TV series. Able to sense the existence of living things INSIDE the planet, the spider-like super-aliens drilled through, experimented on some intelligent winged reptiles, gifted them with telepathy, and flew away smirking over the misery which would befall humans in Bazookadar. Enjoying`contacts with Hopecrusher Central, the Shadythings understood that the Creator's Never-Stopping Story had conceived Bazookadar as a bit of diversity, just because. Living things had been brought into genuine existence around the same time as people on Original Earth had begun making steel.

Because the cruel Wingdingers and the brutish Slambangani had been fore-ordained to be wicked in order to serve as villains, ALL of them at the moment of death were always shown the kindness I depicted when the villain Lex Loozor got killed on Seedubb Earth. All were made aware what reality was actually like, and all were granted the opportunity to acknowledge the Actual God and be eternally saved.

Very very few such characters ever refused the offer of Heaven.

" " " " " " " " " " " "
The location on Freesoil's surface where the Shadythings had landed centuries ago now featured a cinema-location-worthy crater. Within sight of the crater was where the Senphatorian starship carrying Charles Crazier, Squire Vindictive and Exohern touched down. They were met by some of the Greedorks who dwelt alongside Freesoiler humans. Professor Crazier facilitated the introductions.

A Greedork female named Haladist was the first of the settlers to notice that the redoubtable telepath was gazing at the rim of the vast crater. Having grasped the nature of Crazier's talents, she THOUGHT in his direction: Abner Littleton and some of the other human males determined that the crater wall contains minerals not yet found here as native deposits.

Since Exohern and Squire were shut out of any telepathic dialogue, the Professor simply told them by speaking what had just been discussed. The killer and the speedster had plenty of defeating-evildoers action ahead of them, but both were smart enough to understand that residues from an alien expedition might be interesting to study.

 

[Copperfox]

Now I'll rejoin the situation on Earth-Whichever, which includes the Thumpercolts who were founded by an ambitious army general. Vilkarezdu the cyclopean Heart Sapphire ("of the Fifth Blezrip") is with the Thumpercolts.

Peter Mayangi, the Zairean prosecutor who had witnessed the social disruption caused by the nutcase Calvin Wallace who carried an alien artifact, came to the United States to meet with some American superheroes. He _didn't_ approach General Timothy "Thumper" Moss, because he had heard that Moss was a manipulative narcissist. Instead, he met with independent heroes: Woman Torch, Unfindable Man, the Exquisite She-Hunk (born Jasmine Waterford, cousin to scientist Bryce Donner), Flying Elephant, and Elephant's wife Jelisaveta Vhani. (I remind my readers that Jelisaveta acquired an ability like that of Black Giraffe, to sense unusual energy patterns.)

MORE FILL-IN: Jiang Fung-Yao and his ex-War-Witch wife Litzelga (the one whose fingernails naturally glowed in the dark) by now had three children: three-year-old son Bruce, one-year-old daughter Kuo-Hai (named for Fung-Yao's mother) and pre-born son Jerry who was three months away from emerging. They also had a German Shepherd named Skater (based on movements she made when playing) who was a daughter of the famous dog hero Tin Rin Rin. The interplanetary family now dwelt on the Big Island of Hawaii, which had recently suffered an absence of large- animal veterinarians. Bruce, who had inherited his mother's physical strength along with his father's intellect, was already learning to ride horses. They often see the Filipino superhero called Water Scout when he's on this Earth-variant.

Litzelga is all in with making more children, but other heroes can carry the crimefighting load. Including one brand-new hero, a mutant from the mostly-obscure Earth- variant where Molecule Breaker & Crosswind were born. Fateful Doctor transported Colosseumus to "Whichever" about ten months ago. His body and bones are coated with iron & titanium, yet enjoy normal organic elasticity; and he has fantastic tolerance to heat. Woman Torch fell for him, because she could make love to him _while_ burning. Only the very hottest flame Sushi can generate (hot enough to cook to death any ordinary person within thirty paces) could have any weakening effect on Colosseumus at all.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

I remind the readers that the evil demigod Twerpseid has been sprung out of his (very lenient) confinement by a plotline- convenient wizard named Blues Trauma. This ambitious minor- leaguer was able to restore some of Twerpseid's power (not to include wormhole travel), and on Earth-Whichever they got their hands on the Anti-Strife Equation drive which Calvin Wallace had previously stolen. This one allowed modest teleportation, but wouldn't let them blink to any other planet. So they began cautiously searching for any strong local villains with whom they could collaborate.

Operatives of Hopecrusher Central took notice of Twerpseid's bid to recover his prestige. This was when they realized that they had been overlooking an obvious basic trope. Signaling their intention to Blues Trauma, they proceeded to correct their omission.

Among Maori tribesmen in New Zealand, among Yukaghir tribesmen in Siberia, among Aleut islanders in Alaska, and in several parts of Africa and southern Asia, the Hopecrushers' long-range enchantment sought out men of military age who could not by any stretch be called white men. The Hopecrushers could only act upon men who were distinctly evil and capable of wanton cruelty. Identifying no fewer than forty such men in each targeted region, Doctor Dizwarn's colleagues called to them psychically..... then CHANGED every one of them into a tall, blond-haired German. All of these men suddenly were wearing Third Reich uniforms, and were filled with an eager desire to terrorize and harm non-white persons-- even their own neighbors. Twerpseid and Blues Trauma hurried hither and thither to steal weapons and vehicles for the use of the newly-minted Standard Cinematic Neo-Nazis.

Bunches of evildoers at Hopecrusher Central breathed sighs of relief and satisfaction. They marveled at how they could have neglected this vital business. HOW COULD THEY have omitted the indispensable white- supremacist Hitler-wannabe's who were always re-used and re-re-used in entertainment on Original Earth?

With an overdue correction made, the two super- villains dashed here and there, assisting the new-generation fascists with attention-getting raids. Of course, this included book-burning, At a chosen time, Hopecrusher Central told them to cease active Nazi-movement participation. The Neo-Nazis were expendable tools, and could be left to their own devices. For months to come, they would serve as distracters, preventing Earth-Whichever's authorities and metahumans from going after GENUINE evildoers.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

With Stony Stork facilitating the visit, General Irina Beriya came very happily to meet the formerly-Marxist American friend whom she had not seen in many months. For sentimental reasons, Jasmine assumed the fat, unattractive shape in which the beautiful Russian officer had first seen her. As they embraced, Irina spoke to Mister Stork over Jasmine's shoulder:

"I believe you wanted to know why the Thumpercolts were not asked to help Moscow suppress the Neo-Nazis. It's logical enough. Our Defense Minister will be much more comfortable with accepting support from American civilian heroes who previously helped against Pukedemons, than from American military personnel who DIDN'T have a role in that global defense."

"That makes sense," replied Iron Gent. "Not all of America's major heroes could be allocated to Siberia for the Yukaghir situation in any event, with Neo-Nazis popping up elsewhere. The Thumpercolts CAN cover the Aleutian Chain, which is American territory. Kirk and Zoorama Slippage are back home now, and can be a ready reserve-- with Roby and me-- against new outbreaks. Water Scout, possibly joined by the new wonder-dog we've heard about, might lend a hand to the Maoris. India's Golden Rakshasa can go to the Asian theater of action, possibly joined by Master Kam and Mistress Bao. A squad's worth of reformed War Witches are available too."

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

Cut to the African interior. This planet's Africa, like the Africa on Original Earth, contained a nation whose printed name looks like a word we're not to supposed to say. The country's name is pronounced "NEE- ZHAIR."

Three non-Earthlings who were well acquainted with Earth- Whichever had been accepted as a temporary special force by the Nee-zhair-an defense apparatus. Two of the three aliens had FOUR arms apiece, and the one male of these was a surgeon rather than a shooter. Uberkwack's extra hands and superb eyesight made him a natural for intricate operations; and since entering the service of King Preston Vincent Truthside, he had become famous on multiple planets for his achievements. Uberkwack's wife Kemptilly, now on the side of good, was the only woman of their species to serve as a War Witch in living memory.

The other ex-War Witch was a blue-skinned Chisskurdian, same race as Admiral Thuglyfe Skrawn. Tapidri Drifla had been among the very first War Witches from the invasion of Earth-Whichever to join the side of good. Her younger sister Tarvili was now married to Emangu Kavat, an Aborigine huntsman whose uncle was Kuparr Daku the Dreamtime Chieftain. Tarvili was attentively raising their son, Kuparr Kavat.

Present time and action. Host-country officials had been provided with satellite imagery by both Russia and America: imagery which led the armed forces to this location. An obscure jungle road was access to the headquarters of the unlikely new headquarters of artificially- metamorphosed Neo-Nazis. The regular troops would fire upon the comic-bookish villains: not seriously trying to kill any of the out-of-place blond Nordics, and avoiding friendly fatalities. The real attack would be Tapidri, Kemptilly and Uberkwack; they would use stun- weapons to take the fascists alive.

There are other episodes to describe in this plot-arc, so just accept that the raid was a stunning success, no pun intended. Nobody died in the raid. Uberkwack would soon be taking part in the examination of the prisoners, to determine both how they came to be changed into non- Africans, and how far their minds had been tampered with.

 

[Copperfox]

A handy mission was assigned for the closely-bound foursome of Sushi, Colosseumus, Jimmy and Jasmine. Two battalions of suddenly-created movie-type Nazis, communicating but not working closely together, had taken wealthy tourists hostage at tourist lodges on two famous mountains: Mount Huascaran in Peru, and Mount Sajama in Bolivia. The Nazi force in Peru had stolen captured Awkwardispian sky-bikes from a Brazilian armory; they had given three of the flying machines to their counterparts in Bolivia.

The metahumans had plans to save the hostages. To improve these plans, Zoorama Slippage worked on deep divination at the war room where she and a few others were standing by. She then relayed to on-scene heroes all pertinent facts about Neo-Nazi hideouts-- or hostage-crisis locations, like the tourist resorts in the Andes Mountains.

When the superheroes had plans mostly formed based on interior layouts, federal police of both South American nations furnished diversions, making a big show of hostage negotiations. Everyone was grateful that (as demonstrated these cheesy-movie fascists were not as quick to slaughter women and children as Original-Earth Waffen-SS troops. The champions of decency, for their part, would not kill anyone if it could be avoided.

The two super-couples in South America covertly approached the tourist lodges by the remotest routes. Sushi and Colosseumus headed for the Peruvian location; Woman Torch being able to fly would be valuable when facing the Nazi band which had more numbers and more air power, while Colosseumus could simply stroll through their gunfire. In Bolivia, Jimmy and Jasmine would be sneakier: She-Hunk would attract attention by noisily threatening the Nazis, while Unfindable Man scouted all entrances to the lodge.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

Around the same time as the above, the Thumpercolts were finally getting a genuine challenge. Not waiting for heroes to uproot them from their Aleutian Chain encampments, an unusually large number of Neo-Nazis flew or boated or skimmered into mainland Alaska. I can lose track of seasons in a multi-arc serial; but Alaska being Alaska, odds are good of the weather being COLD at the time of action. So just assume that the bad guys have stuff like snowmobiles if they need it.

Some two dozen riflemen from the Inuit (don't call them Eskimos) tribal police came along to cover the flanks of the Thumpercolts. They had the marksmanship to disable enemy vehicles, disable heavy weapons used by the enemy, and of course inflict non-fatal wounds in the left shoulders of Neo-Nazis.

By now, Dirtypool, Alchemistress, Bashmistress and Useless Agent all knew that Red Chunk was actually the glory-hungry General Timothy Moss (who, nonetheless, WASN'T seeking immediate fame as himself by TELLING the world who he was). Thumper Moss cared enough about people he was responsible for, that he told John Hiker and the two women to shelter behind him when serious enemy fire was incoming. Dirtypool, naturally, was a special case; he adhered to the no-kill order, but enjoyed intimidating the Nazis by letting them shoot him-- then making sick jokes while he regenerated his maimed body parts. Bashmistress copied actions of hostiles, and made sure to spare Useless Agent from having to fight any female Nazis at close quarters. As long as he could simply shoot and wound evil women from a distance, and fight hand-to-hand only against men, Useless Agent could take down enemies very efficiently.

Alchemistress had her chance to shine. Making snowballs and then making the snow magical, she rendered many Nazi-held guns unusable. She even cast an illusion spell on Red Chunk, which made it LOOK AS IF the gigantic humanoid were eating Nazis alive. Red Chunk was not doing anything of the sort, but the terror of the illusion caused some of the Nazis to panic and flee. The Inuit officers, all of them on task, set about arresting the offenders.

One way or another, numerous blond-haired, blue-eyed stormtroopers were captured alive. When she could safely do so, Alchemistress began her efforts to ascertain WHAT had changed these normal people into caricature villains.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

But we have unfinished business in South America: especially letting Colosseumus do some stuff, since he's a new character.

As I've said, the tampered-with men in Peru had enough sky-bikes to interdict every approach to the resort. Even with her airborne adversaries having to avoid shooting each other, Woman Torch needed to fly evasive patterns. Only in comic books could electromagnetic energy be warded off by flame, or vice-versa.

Sushi had promised her new husband that she could easily dodge such beams. But at the risk of bruising her tough-chick ego, Colosseumus aided her a bit, throwing rocks at the sky-bikes. He was accurate enough that he could keep them worried about him, and prevent them from getting a kill-shot on Sushi, until enough of them were forced to land that Sushi could handle the rest.

Because bloodless comicbook- style narration.

When she could safely spare the attention, Sushu pulled a trick that she and Colosseumus had planned. Lashing one whole side of the resort's main building with flame, she made it impossible for anyone inside to see out. Then the unrealistic metallic mutant smashed a hole in the wall, and was in among the rent-a-Nazis. He shouted in Spanish: "Hostages on the floor! Nazis, drop your weapons and give up, and your lives will be spared!" So nobody died at this location. Jasmine and Jimmy Strum will get THEIR chance to not kill anyone in my next post.

 

[Copperfox]

Jimmy the Unfindable Man had refined his energy-field control considerably, during and since the time he had spent protecting the infant son of Preston Truthside. At a chosen entrance to the lodge, he activated a vertical energy square inside the large room beyond the door. Gently pulling the square toward himself, he knocked several Nazis and pieces of furniture over. There didn't seem to be any hostages in that particular space, so he hurried toward another entrance while attention still was upon the disturbance he had created.

Jasmine the Exquisite She-Hunk played along, by leaping to a spot near where her husband had just been. "Don't make me get rough! Release your hostages, UNHARMED, and I'll go easy on you!"

During this, the three alien flying machines here in Bolivia had been supplemented by ten or twelve hijacked helicopters. Although vertical- takeoff aircraft had been a purely experimental thing during the 1940's, it seemed that some Bolivian men who knew how to control modern helicopters were among the victims of involuntary transformation. Each helicopter carried at least one shooter besides the pilot; their weapons were an even mix of ray-guns and bullet-guns. She-Hunk directed her evasive movements in such a way that she would not be the cause of anyone inside the lodge-- OR her husband who was not yet indoors-- getting shot.

Jimmy chose his next point of attack: an attached courtyard, unused in cold weather except as a skating rink. Two gunmen were stationed there, and presently they stepped outside the enclosure and joined in shooting at Jasmine. She, naturally, was undamaged by small-arms fire; of weapons in enemy hands, only the ray-guns could hurt her worth mentioning. Fortunately, the airborne weapons lacked a targeting system, they were merely eyeball- aimed. Thus, She-Hunk was able to dodge many shots, keeping her injuries minor until she could uproot a tree to absorb some of the beams.

Here was Jimmy's chance to infiltrate the chalet- style building, without any hostiles knowing he had sneaked in. Finding a dozen resort employees being held at gunpoint, he slapped force fields closely around the heads of the three Pseudo-Nazis guarding them. He also interposed an invisible wall in front of the captives-- which was a good move, as it prevented the civilians from being hit by the wild reflexive shooting of the suffocating storm troopers.

When the gunmen fell unconscious, Jimmy let them breathe again, then told the now-rescued hostages: "Tie them up, but don't kill them! Their minds were tampered with! And don't go outside yet, there's shooting outside still."

Jimmy went on to subdue the rest of the mind-altered German-looking men, then dashed back outside to assist his wife in grounding and capturing the remaining helicopter and sky-bike riders. Some had suffered injuries when dashed out of the air by giant snowballs Jasmine threw, but none of these injuries were immediately life-threatening. Once the threats were all suppressed, the Strums began telling their prisoners, in substance: "You're not to blame, you were all programmed against your will to do violence. Our science-using and magic-using friends will try to restore your true personalities; your original appearance too."

One of the rugged blond-haired men peered intently at Jasmine, muttering: "I've seen you on television news! You're the Exquisite She-Hunk, and you're the most incredibly beautiful woman I ever saw! But how CAN you be so lovely, when your skin ISN'T white and your hair is black?"

Grinning, Jasmine ruffled the man's hair. "Want to see how I looked before I ever became She-Hunk?" Assuming her original form as the formerly-hateful dumpy white woman who had the good luck to be Bryce Donner's cousin, she went on: "The villains who did this to you, seem to have had it in mind to distract people from THEIR crimes, by beating the dead horse of a Hitlerite Germany which is never actually coming back."

Within the hour, conventional police and medical personnel were on the scene to mop up. So far, none of the captured artificial fascists had changed back to their original physical appearance, but several were beginning to grasp the unsettling fact that their personalities had been altered without their consent.

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American authorities asked the one-eyed Heart Sapphire Vilkarezdu to join the team being detailed to New Zealand; she could, of course, fly there unassisted. Already on the North Island, with the Zealander government's permission, were helicopter pilot T.R. Mosby (my version of the black guy in "Magnum, P.I."), the water-breathing Filipino metahuman Water Scout, and the female wonder-dog Skater who got along well with both Mister Mosby and Water Scout. (Note that Water Scout, born Inosanto Bagwis, is native to the Philippines of Jersey Earth, but has gotten teleported more than once to let him be part of adventures elsewhere. If I haven't used him as often as I seem to recall doing, you can assume that he's been to some other worlds not important for this story.) Flying down from the United States, Vilkarezdu (who had been part of her sisterhood's poorly-planned meddling on Jersey Earth), brought along Doc Slippage, whose many talents included the sort of emergency surgery seen in war zones.

And both major islands of New Zealand had become war zones.

On Earth-Whichever as on Original Earth, New Zealand's capital was Auckland, at the north end of the North Island. Native Maori were about one-sixth of the country's overall population. Kirk Slippage and Vilkarezdu were met in Auckland by Creighton (rhymes with Brighton) Tawhiri, Minister of Defense for the New Zealand of Earth-Whichever. Tawhiri gave the newcomers a quick situation report:

"The extraterrestrials who joined up with this artifact-thief Calvin Wallace appear to have learned about the warlike ways of my ancestors; and apparently it amused them to think of Maori men transformed into German fascists, battling unchanged Maori warriors. One brand of combativeness against another. The outbreak started on South Island, resulting in us heavily allocating both soldiers and medical responders down there. This made it most timely for T.R. Mosby and the dog Skater to join us on NORTH Island when artificial Nazis began appearing up here as well. Working with our medics, they've kept busy locating and evacuating wounded persons. Interestingly, since the men changed into Nazis have a World War Two mindset, they have completely forgotten that in their normal selves they considered helicopters ordinary.

"Inosanto Bagwis is currently reconnoitering the sea between our main islands. Miss Vilkarezdu, you logically should be left free for independent ops; but my government requests that you allot some of your time to helping Water Scout in, well, in scouting the water. Search for any new Nazis crossing back and forth.

"Doctor Slippage, we know how superbly you performed field surgery on casualties in South America during Twerpseid's invasion. We request that you do the same job here. And since you're also a psychiatrist, you can study the psychosis of the transformed men."

 

[Copperfox]

In northern India, between Punjab and Uttarakhand, Nitara the Golden Rakshasa had been joined by a platoon of experienced Sikh troopers, plus eight conventional policemen for the purpose of managing any prisoners they took. Fleeing from the local Neo-Nazi outbreak, civilians provided many details about the Nazis' numbers and armament. One elderly gentleman told Nitara:

"They've claimed the Krishna's Arrow Meditation Center as a base. They've been saying to everyone: 'We are better than you because we are Aryans!' The chief swami told them-- I should say, reminded them, since all of them were born as regular Indians-- that the Aryan racial group ORIGINATED in India. Then they shot him."

The Sikhs, though not Hindus, growled in outrage at this. Nitara reminded them, "All information we have so far, says that these transformations are forced upon the men, without their consent. Whoever is CAUSING all this, is who deserves to be shot."

The lieutenant who held operational command of the Sikh soldiers and the policemen, spoke up: "Mistress Bagram, isn't there a facility of Stork Industries southwest of here? They would surely have some employees whose hair is blond?"

Two and a half hours later, at a location out of sight from the meditation center, an executive airplane delivered eight Stork Industries employees who had blond hair, and who had volunteered to join in the hostage-rescue mission.

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The ranking Neo-Nazi, who had been a quiet, ordinary office worker until thirteen days ago, was now twelve centimeters taller than he had been, and was now calling himself Augustin Achdulieber. He smiled complacently as eight yellow-haired civilians walked toward his camp's entry point. All of them (thanks to a hasty rehearsal) were managing to sing what could pass for the song "Deutschland, Deutschland Uber Alles." The diversion was a perfect success.

Augustin welcomed them, heard out their concocted story about "seeing the light"-- and thus was caught completely off guard when Golden Rakshasa in her weretiger form broke through the camp's barriers on the opposite side. Only two of the Nazis were looking in the right direction at the crucial moment. They opened fire upon the Rakshasa; she had relied on their treating her as the obvious immediate threat, the better to keep her followers safe. As has been indicated long before, Nitara was not completely immune to non-magical weapons, but it would take a LOT of non-magical damage to slay her. She and her men soon overpowered and disarmed all of the pseudo-Nazis.

NOBODY on either side was killed or critically wounded, because Copperfox likes happy outcomes. Assorted experts would soon be toiling to find a cure for the involuntary change which had been thrust upon Augustin Achdulieber and his crowd.

In another dimension, Doctor Dizwarn and other operatives of Hopecrusher Central were screaming naughty words in a dozen languages. They knew that people with any sense would soon be scornfully dismissing their cobbled-up scheme to deceive people that the absolutely dead horse of the Third Reich was "the REAL menace" for the modern world. It was not possible for the Hopecrushers to invade Original Earth and attempt personal violence upon Copperfox himself, but they wracked their evil brains looking for new means of sabotaging his campaign to make real-world people believe in the power of goodness.

It didn't improve their mood when Copperfox began watching a Huey Lewis music video.......

 

[Copperfox]

In rural Burma, Arush "Flying Elephant" Vhani followed cues from his energy- tracking wife Jelisaveta, to discover a camouflaged jungle camp of Neo-You-Know-What's. While unable to become invisible, Arush was short, lean, and able to sneak through jungle foliage with the best of them. While unable to fly, he could leap to a handy tree limb four meters above the ground. While not possessing the Quickness Force, he was swift enough to spring into the midst of a mission briefing being held by the master-racists.

Your author is pleased to inform you that, on Original Earth, what we all know as Chinese kung-fu actually WAS BORROWED FROM INDIA. Arush Vhani knew enough of India's Rajput martial techniques that, with his superhumanly swift reflexes, he could and did punch, throw and kick Nazis with a Batman-grade level of agility. Like his countrywoman Golden Rakshasa, the Flying Elephant was not strictly invulnerable, but needed to get hit by a huge number of bullets before their cumulative impact could kill him. And the requisite quantity of rounds was not reached before Arush had incapacitated all of the Burmese Neo-Nazis.

NORMAL Burmese soldiers brought Jelisaveta to the scene of her husband's victory. When she scanned the heads of the arrested prisoners, she looked startled. "Husband, this is a bionic enhancement, THESE MEN'S HAIR is a sort of transceiver circuitry....... There, this yellow hair isn't organic to them, any more than my cheek-wires are normal to me! It must have been attached as brain inputs."

"Then maybe shave their heads?" one soldier suggested.

"Logical enough," said Arush. "But as long as they're neutralized as a threat, maybe we should first move them to a hospital. It could be that whoever did this to them has a 'non-disclosure' program, to kill them if it seems they might talk. Remember, these men are victims themselves."

"Of course, Flying Elephant. We'll call for medevac helicopters."

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Kuparr Daku the Dreamtime Chieftain could logically have been expected to pitch in against the Nazi outbreak in New Zealand. But a similar outbreak in Vietnam had been brought to the shaman's attention by the Spirit Kookaburra two days before the outbreak among the Maoris. He told representatives of the Ostralian government: "I've been communing with Actual God, according to His permissiveness with fantasy elements in the Never- Stopping Story. Just as I was able, a few years ago, to restore many Pukedemons to humanity, I believe I'll be able to start restoring all of these involuntary Nazis."

By the time Kuparr arrived in Vietnam, a battalion of soldiers led by a Major Trinh Sang-Su had rounded up a similar number of blond storm troopers. Unfortunately, killing five of these had been unavoidable; this was on the heads of Calvin Wallace, Blues Trauma, and anyone else who might be complicit in the clumsy global- deception campaign. Major Trinh had a detail to relate to Kuparr:

"The five we had to kill, upon dying, reverted to what they had previously been. Two of these five, plus two others who NEARLY died, turned out to be Face Twisters from the Dune-based sub-reality. The latter explained this to us. They even confessed that they had been tasked by the Hopecrushers to get our world so obsessed with Nazis here, Nazis there, that people would ignore GENUINE menaces. But don't let me delay you from your curse-breaking."

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

An alert sounded at Hopecrusher Central as soon as Dreamtime Chieftain began curing the Nazi-fied Vietnamese men. The alert- reception console was being manned by Gung Jin-Shao, a fourteen-year-old boy from the China of Mediumgard Earth. During the same period when Cosmic Fact Checkers had extended their nonsense from Jersey Earth to Mediumgard, the Queen of the Goshdarned had changed Jin-Shao into a minimal vampire (not at all bulletproof). When Revengists including Colonel America and Bleeder the Vampire Killer turned up the heat, Doctor Dizwarn had evacuated Jin-Shao and established him as an Apprentice Hopecrusher.

"Doctor, the 'Whichever' Earthlings have seen through the Neo-Nazi gambit already."

"Show me the video, Jin-Shao........ (Naughty language) I told Kuth-Hula-Hoop that this trick wouldn't work for very long on a population that had survived an invasion by Twerpseid, but it still voted to proceed. Sure, several Earth-variants use a pretended fear of Nazis as an excuse to IGNORE genuine, immediate perils; but the Whicheverans have learned too much by now to be so easily duped."

"Well, then, Doctor, what's the next move?"

"Probably order Calvin Wallace and Blues Trauma to clear out, write off the stupid Look-Out-For-Hitler gambit, and see if enough top-ranking villains are available to put down Earth-Whichever."

 

[Copperfox]

Positively time now to return to Punksteema. Firstly, we look northeast of Reslagor, east of Bamulica, north of Hukshem, and northwest of Kikoro. (There will be a quiz next week.) Mellow Druid Barkfist Snowdiver, advisor to King Jentrum of Reepokistan, had endorsed inviting the Captains of Skilled Labor to operate there. The cleric Tolstoy Blake was a frequent visitor to Reepokistan. Jentrum had mandated the establishment of telegraph lines as soon as he succeeded his father, the better to receive news of the world at large.

One telegraph terminal would be in a large new residence-plus-office, to be known as The Skilled Labor Charterhouse In Reepokistan. With Jentrum's permission, the Loi-Kikoro hunstsman K'Zogar Poi had come up with several Malgriff Hussars, to serve as local security for the charterhouse. It had been stipulated that these guardians possessed enforcement authority only upon the property of the charterhouse; Reepok authorities might enlarge the sojourners' jurisdiction on a case-by-case basis.

One fine morning, being invited to the royal breakfast table, Barkfist told the king: "Your Majesty will recall that Armolas Greenbranch is one of the three or four mightiest of good-aligned druids in all of Punksteema. Speaking through the elements, he has begun relating to the rest of us what his current mission is."

Jentrum nodded expectantly. "Even if telegraph lines progress to worldwide coverage, even if _telephone_ service advances equally, we will never wish to be _without_ the advice of you nature-lovers who honor nature's Creator. What is the esteemed Master Armolas reporting?"

"Your Majesty has heard tell of the Wenzeppuan wise woman, Trail-Chooser Sahajil, meeting with the people on board the Mifdolan airship; how she urged them to investigate conditions in Udraski. I now know that, on the latest overflight of the moon, the Frantic Druids attacked them from above, trying to visit a deadly disease on the whole expedition. Master Armolas and his son Froliptar used their own magic to reinforce the wards against evil which had been placed upon Queen's Favor by Prince Felipe. The evil attack was foiled; but the very fact that the Frantic Druids no longer try to conceal their lunar settlement argues that they are marching hard toward some goal."

>>> Note that the disease attack was the form eventually taken by the "cloud" mentioned in Post #1679.

Jentrum's wife, Queen Palorba, then said, "Are the Towermen, and any available Smoke Maidens, going to involve themselves?"

"Your Highness, much of _their_ attention still is on finishing their diplomatic mission in Reslagor. _Preventing_ a civil war in such a major nation is as much worth doing as winning an already-raging war. Sir Ronald of Goliad, for his part, has earned some peace for himself a dozen times over. And Wyatt Hickok's party still is very far away from here >or< from Udraski. But take heart, gracious queen: Master Armolas also learned that the Almighty has lately conferred the Towermen's anointing on two stalwart men who already dwell much nearer to Udraski. These are two veteran warriors of Samplibam, of whom I confess I had never heard before, but who are both of high repute in the Shogunate. Their own activities may eventually be merged with what Jizbrol Tazaff's party is doing."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

On the outskirts of a peaceful farming area, the coal-fueled airship was moored, with locals allowed to come and look it over. Some of the crewmen with mechanical talent went and repaired broken grain-grinding machinery which was powered by a stream. The tundra bear Daintycrunch was being kept downwind from farm livestock.

In an uncultivated area out of sight from any other people, Yadiva Jilris, friend and rifle-trainee of the Drovlalish girl Heejee faf-Boli, walked energetically beside Froliptar Greenbranch. Between her gun and his magic, they had little to fear. The young druid had told the younger markswoman there was something to see. It was a doe of a species about the same as white- tailed deer on Earth.

She was very old, past bearing fawns, and seemed sick and exhausted. She eyed the humans with something between fear and indifference.

"Beautiful creature," Froliptar said to the feeble deer, "you have lived your life well. You no longer need your weary present body, for you will shortly have a new body in AsaLion's Country. So pardon us if we collect what you longer need;" and he gestured to Yadiva.

With a crack! the doe arrived in the presence of her Creator, where she found herself young again.

"Human beings are properly omnivores, _not_ herbivores," Froliptar declared. "And no, animals are not equal in spiritual dignity with people. But they do have feelings. Most of the flesh we consume comes from beasts who have been allowed to fulfil their proper lifespan. You will find that, when cooked, this venison is as good to eat as if coming from a yearling."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I gotta relax a bit, gotta feel okay with _not_ always having to name every character who's on camera longer than five seconds.

An old farmer whose leading crop was a textile- creating plant similar to cotton shall be called Pseudo-Cotton Farmer. Captain Kring Dakamish, Pilot Vojur Fod, and Nishri Tonka the young wife of the man who looks like a young Gene Wilder, were politely questioning him about local conditions, though only Vojur Fod knew the commerce-language which was used hereabouts.

The first question for Pseudo-Cotton Farmer, coming from Kring, was: "Have any Silnarpian airships landed in Udraski since winter?"

"Not as far as I know. A Loi-Bavrid airship dropped by _before_ the latest winter, with barrels of their dried vine-fruit." The fruits grown in Bavrid were known to be highly nutritious, and the questioners noted that evidently no one was interested in _blocking_ Loi-Bavrid airborne shipping. At this point, Armolas Greenbranch strolled in their direction. First to sense the senior druid's state of mind was Nishri, who met him before he drew very close.

Speaking in Mifdolan, the "Javelin Sister" asked Armolas if something were disturbing him.

"Yes. I have been communing with birds of differing kinds which regularly overfly this area. I especially contacted birds which have passed above dirigibles. Several such birds who flew over a _Silnarpian_ airship, saw what looked like _footprints_ on top of the buoyancy envelope."

Nishri was quick on the uptake-- and had heard many tales about situations in which Towermen had been involved. "Were those footprints colored _yellow?_ A sort of sulfur- dust yellow?"

"So they were: the color left by _Jaheg-Jorod_ when he teleports away from a place."

"Does this mean that the necromancer has a hand in the affairs of Udraski?"

"Possible, but not likely. More likely that he is meddling in Silnarp itself."

 

[Copperfox]

Since in fact Jaheg-Jorod _wasn't_ involved in Udraskian affairs, and since his hitching a ride atop a dirigible when surveying land areas had been a minor incident, there was indeed no cause for the people aboard Queen's Favor to divert their own attention to the necromancer.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pseudo-Cotton Farmer mentioned a cousin of his, to be called Other Pseudo-Cotton Farmer, who lived two days' march to the northwest. "Unseasonal rains washed away his just-planted seed crop. I've been waiting for my neighbor Goat-Raising Neighbor to send over the wagon he's lending me. I need to transport a replacement seed supply to my cousin before he loses any more days in the growing season."

A sturdy, pleasant-faced woman, here known as Wife Of Pseudo-Cotton Farmer, pointed toward the south, calling out, "Here comes the wagon, to be known as Goat-Raising Neighbor's Wagon!"

Kring Dakavish beckoned the Pseudo-Cotton-Growing Couple to come along as he strode toward the approaching wagon. He introduced himself, and told the wagon driver (known as Goat-Raising Neighbor's Farm Hand): "My airship is already traveling in the same direction as this man's shipment of pseudo-cotton seeds. The apparent volume and weight of this replenishment will not be difficult for my ship to transport to where it's needed, reducing the wait for Other Pseudo-Cotton Farmer."

The locals expressed appropriate gratitude. Then, Firstborn Son Of Pseudo-Cotton Farmer exclaimed, "Father once let me take an opportunity to ride on an airship! Captain Dakamish, if I can ride on your ship, I can point out exactly where Father's cousin lives! Our families see each other often; I can stay with Father's Cousin until I can get a ride back here."

In the end, all went smoothly enough. When the seed replenishment was delivered to Other Pseudo-Cotton Farmer's property (where the actual sacks of seed were carried to the indicated storehouse by the mortar- operating soldiers), Armolas Greenbranch spoke words of successful growth over the future pseudo-cotton crop. After picking up such local news as the farmers could give them. the ship's company of Queen's Favor continued their journey.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

On one ridge of a modest-sized river valley in the northern half of Silnarp, the Samplibami armorer Neridim Yubiwaza, retainer to the corrupt House Burakarut, had prepared a sort of hunting blind. In it with him was Odilladet Gohuhal, a smart young Silnarpian woman whose widowed mother had encouraged her to master firearms.

Unknown even to Silnarpian leaders whom he and Jaheg-Jorod had cultivated, Neridim had trained Odilladet in the use of what, for Silnarpians, he had begun calling a "rattle-gun." Closely resembling a 19th-century Gatling gun on Original Earth (although even Yarbeck Trask and Jaheg-Jorod did not know this), it was fed by a vertical magazine and a trigger- crank. Neridim and Mister Trask had established that five shots per second was the fastest rate of fire the rattle-gun could manage without risk of jamming.

A party of bison-hunters from Flodmarth (one of two small city-states friendly to the Shogunate of Samplibam) had the bad luck to pass within sight of Neridim and Odilladet. The cold-hearted young mowed them down; and Silnarpian swordsmen assigned to assist the experiment made sure all the victims were dead.

The bison hunters had just been unfortunate. The ultimate target was Shogun Wajitujit, who had stood in the way of the Burakaruts' imperial ambitions long enough. And with the enlightened Shogun buried, Jaheg-Jorod's human helpers would proceed to exterminate Samplibami Christians, whose very presence in the Shogunate was an obstacle to the necromancer's designs.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

[Copperfox]

With conditions in Quelidar getting rectified in a hurry, Perdida Fortescue's efficient sail-and-steam freighter Leaping Swordfish was bound for Vodranor, Ilya Trostel's native land, which would be new to Lagmarosk Mezdatch and Frethric Belgus. Sir Wyatt Hickok, his three apprentices, and their Heskadugger friend Burzu Yunsh, were glad that the people who had cheated Jizbrol Tazaff out of his success were now at the losing end.

Given that a long-inhabited Earth-sized planet _will_ have plenty of nations, I'm allowed to invent another one. So there's an island chain south of Punksteema's equator, with its western extremity near the same longitude as the landlocked northern country of Valtork (home to the wagonmaster Skagruth Johnston, who has no part in the current plot action). In the tongue used by the inhabitants, these islands bear the name of "The Fishing Line Islands."

Perdida had never chosen to mount cannon on her ship, since these would subtract from the weight allowance for cargo. The merchant vessel usually could outrun threats with ease. The "Fishing Line" islanders, however, not only were experts at using natural conditions to their own advantage, but possessed stolen telescopes, and thus could spot circumstances which rendered a target more vulnerable. Just after crossing the horizon from the islanders' viewpoint, Leaping Swordfish suffered canvas-and-rigging damage from a particularly disruptive overflight by the moon, requiring the attention of all deck hands.

A large squadron of sailing catamarans, each mounting two swivel- fitted projectile weapons similar to really-heavy gastrophracts, attacked in a wide line, so all of them could shoot at once, with some of the shafts being wide-headed sail-rippers. Even the smokestack received some damage. Frethric and Lagmarosk, who had no ship-handling duties, and whose rifles enjoyed good range, were the first men aboard Perdida's ship to begin shooting once the oncoming boats were proven to be hostile. Between them, the fledgling Towermen slew or wounded nine pirates before the range closed enough that more defenders could join in shooting. The pirates, however, knew that Leaping Swordfish often carried high-value cargo, and were willing to pay a price for the loot. They continued closing, and their missile weapons also caused casualties, although the merchant sailors did have objects to duck behind.

In full protect-the-innocent mode, Wyatt used the last of his .40 caliber ammo as pirates were making to board, killing sixteen pirates and injuring another five. A rascally grin lit up his face as he finally drew his claw-sword for its first life-or- death use. Ilya Trostel still had bullets for the .44 magnum revolver which Ronald had given him, but switched to his axe after some boarders made it over the rail. Frethric and Lagmarosk, with bayonet-equipped rifles, could instantly switch combat modes when it became necessary. Burzu had been loaned a short double-barreled shotgun by a crewman; he emptied this into the guts of the biggest of the attacking pirates, then took to his magic spear. (The northman stayed as close to the rail as he could, facing outboard, in order not to skewer any friendlies by mistake.)

Lagmarosk had used a spade as a weapon in the past, and some of his moves with a spade had proven applicable to bayonet melee. The highway inspector's son took down three pirates with his bayonet, cracked one pirate skull with the stock, and fended off blows aimed by other boarders. Not so lucky was Frethric: he wounded one enemy, but then got his right arm badly slashed by the next pirate. A Leaping Swordfish crewman saved Frethric, while Ilya advanced to fill the gap with his axe.

Only two of the defending sailors died in the close-up melee, though many were injured. One hand in the rigging had already perished by a boat-launched arrow. As the reader may justifiably infer, the low good-guy casualty count was largely due to Burzu and Wyatt.

Sir Wyatt handled his claw-sword like a long-missed friend, mostly with his right hand but switching twice to his left. The pirates, to their misfortune, had never even heard of this sword-variant. Having seen plenty of conventional curved swords, their brains reflexively assumed the outer edge of the curve to be the cutting edge. Instead, the concave sickle-type edge took four pirate heads clean off, along with the right hand of one pirate who carried a pistol. The claw-sword's point twice descended just inside collarbones, to sever arteries; and one upward stroke pierced an adversary's armpit with equally lethal effect. Wyatt might have slain still more pirates, but part of his rapid swordplay was devoted to knocking down pirate-held weapons which would have killed merchant sailors.

In the end, the still- ambulatory raiders-- less than one-third of all who had assailed Leaping Swordfish-- fled in dismay. The victors justifiably rendered aid to wounded men on their own side first (obviously including Frethric Belgus), as a result of which half of the wounded pirates lying on the deck soon went to The Bad Place. But those captives who lasted long enough were also treated. The spared pirates could look forward to a life of hard labor with very few amenities.

Two abandoned catamarans in usable condition were taken in tow. These boats would eventually be sold; the proceeds would be contributed to Captain Fortescue's regular fund for the support of sailors' families.

Only Perdida Fortescue's long-built reputation for doing right by her employees, along with the recognition that circumstances had helped the maritime barbarians, prevented the sailors from quitting altogether. And she humbly heeded the demands of surviving crewmen that Leaping Swordfish be provided with at least two swivel-guns per side, while installing captured arrow-catapults fore and aft.

When reports of the sea battle reached Tablanor, George Rothermill and some of his affluent friends would fit out a proper warship for a punitive expedition against the Fishing Line Islands. The Loi-Bavrid people would lend an airship to reconnoiter ahead for this counterstrike. As for Wyatt's party including Burzu Yunsh, they would tarry in Vodranor while Frethric was convalescing. The young woodsman took a renewed interest in mastering the claw-sword.

 

[Copperfox]

Rejoining Field-Master Nefekor: he and his platoon of Samplibami soldiers had spent a continuity- suitable space of time hanging out with friendly Tagdossans and Flodmarthers. During this interval, a werewolf wandered into the region. Werewolves very seldom ventured into this part of Arcondoyla, precisely because powerful heroes were often in the vicinity. Knowing that werebeasts could be harmed by flame, the locals had prevented human fatalities (or beast-changes) by prudent use of bonfires, torches and burning arrows; but livestock had been wantonly destroyed, fuel supplies had been reduced, and travel between the two city-states had been disrupted. So Nefekor had put his Towerman anointing to its first test. Borrowing the best rifle among his men (what mattered was not the weapon, but who was wielding it), and with the assistance of trackers who had torches for their own protection, he eventually got the monster in his sights.

It proved to be an upright- walking werewolf. Nefekor thought: Self-confident, aren't you? If you assumed complete wolf-shape, and took a pack of normal wolves under your command, you wouldn't be such an obvious target. Pride comes before a fall. Putting multiple rounds into each of the biped creature's legs, he advanced upon it, never failing to look for any additional threats.

The disabled super-predator glowered up at his vanquisher with powerless hate-- and proved his human intelligence by barking out some very naughty words in one of the commerce languages. But when the Field-Master's rifle came into line with the werewolf's forehead, the last of his defiance vanished. Reverting to human shape-- looking maybe like someone from the coastal regions-- he began begging for mercy, insisting that he had been monster-ized by a bite, rather than having sought monster-power by his own desire.

"This may be true," Nefekor conceded. "And my friends are decent folk. If you are kept harmless enough, and since you have not murdered any human beings that we know of, we can afford to keep you alive in hope of a cure."

The cure soon came, in the form of a flock of tengu. Plotline-convenient magical divination had given them an idea of Nefekor's situation, so they came prepared to cast anti- lycanthropy spells. The man was made fully human again; it was confirmed that he had been werewolf-ized against his will; and, since he was unmarried and didn't feel able to return home, he would find employment in Samplibam.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Nefekor's platoon was in Tagdoss when Mistress Zutozar the lady tengu came back that way, still towing Jonawiku through the air on a kite.

"Hail and well met, ronin!" exclaimed Nefekor. "What news of the Silnarpians?"

"It looks as if most of them are minding their own business," replied the great bowman who looked like a dark-skinned Keanu Reeves.

Copperfox left everybody there for a while, since he needed to review just what HAD lately been going on with Jonawiku and Zutozar.

 

[Copperfox]

The tengu carried the sometime werewolf to Samplibam to begin his new life. Two of the tengu, Zutozar's nephews Widagro and Butabik, remained with their aunt, and listened attentively to the ronin-archer's account of sighting the Silnarpian commercial airship Ruby Sunset.

Hadmeller Brosto, now chief helmsman on the Ruby Sunset, had been present, but not culpable, on the day when other Silnarpians had senselessly murdered Jonawiku's wife Shuhiro (and paid the price for this). The same account was shared with a mixed volunteer troop of mounted riflemen and archers from the two city-states, who rode on saddle-bucks. When the reinforced contingent of good guys resumed the trek, Jonawiku reminded them all: "Whatever is going on to the west, remember that NOT ALL Silnarpians are evil."

Butabik, looking to see which human in the enlarged party was nearest to himself in maturity, walked alongside the mount of a sixteen-year-old Flodmarther boy named Kambijud. Tengu being pretty good at crossing language barriers, they conversed as casually as they could about their young lives. Eventually, Butabik paused.

"Kambijud, are you bursting to say something which has gone unsaid? Are you hesitating because everyone else on this march is older than you, or has magic powers? Haruyaso the All-Maker values the young as surely as He values the old. Please allow yourself to speak what is inside you."

The teenage boy looked at Field-Master Nefekor, then back at his new friend. "You lost an uncle who fought bravely against evil. I may also have lost an uncle, who trekked far to secure a long-time food supply for his extended family."

The young bird-goblin cocked his head like a parrot. "Are you afraid that your kinsman might have been slain by whatever elder werewolf turned that coastal dweller into another werewolf?"

"It could be that, or any of several more ordinary misfortunes."

Butabik looked at his own relatives. "Since you are blood-kin to a missing man, Aunt Zutozar may be able to weave a seeking spell, to reveal a path from yourself to where your uncle is."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Copperfox reminds the readers that veteran seafarer Yarbeck Trask, an executive of the Two Rivers Evil Business Corporation and second husband of the widow of that company's late founder, is personally guilty of trying out a secret naval weapon in a murderous covert attack on the Wellvernian country of Tidumo. Yarbeck's current roles include being an important silent partner in Silnarpian air commerce.

Yarbeck definitely knew more than the readers know at present about what passed for a government in Silnarp. As we look in on the supplier of cannonpowder, he was dining on mutton and some stuff resembling mashed turnips on Original Earth. His dinner companions held titles which could reasonably translate into English as "count" and "countess." The names I give them reflect intentionally, again, the way so many real-world people, if presuming to write fantasy, are absurdly sloppy about inventing names. Count Omar MacFrancis and Countess Cleopatra MacFrancis represented one of four noble houses which more or less rotated in rulership, like the Reslagorian Oligarchy. The MacFrancisses currently held supreme executive power in Silnarp; would remain in power for at least another year and a half; and knew by now who had placed Yarbeck at the head of Two Rivers Corporation in Reslagor.

So they did not faint from terror when Jaheg-Jorod appeared in the room with them.

"Be at ease, Count and Countess. No short-term action is required from you, or from Yarbeck. But I need to advise Yarbeck of something.

"Yarbeck, I have been compelled to change your acquaintance Odilladet Gohuhal into a zombie. She was bragging too much with her tavern friends about gunning down those bison hunters from the east. The information of just how those Flodmarthers perished is too likely now to reach Flodmarth-- and thereby, to reach the Towermen."

"My lord, will the victims' remains need to be cremated?"

"Good thinking, Captain, but unnecessary. I also re-animated the corpses of the slain hunters, and they marched away to where I directed them. Their spirits have already ascended to the One Whom I hate and fear, so no magic-user on Punksteema can order the cadavers to reveal how they died. But you must command that all future training with rattle-guns must proceed with non-living targets only."

 

[Copperfox]

Our scene is transported to the star system containing the former capital world of House Snarkonnen. Andy Blender and Quarkie Blender, a formerly-evil couple who go back to the earliest chapters of my story, were on an industrial orbital platform-- which was where the planet-SAVING mega-dreadnought (advocated by the lady Mentalcat Tutti Howizzit) was under gradual construction. They were approached by Rajah Ramrocket, a Spacebullion engineer who had formerly served the formerly-evil Dark Headgear alongside then-Admiral Blender.

"Andrew, Quarkie, I'd like you to show some visitors around. One comes from the same star system as Princess Vixen and Duke Diskoduck; the other two come from considerably farther away. A Chimpanzian female named Likkoreesha is married to an Anoxian orangutanoid named Yubadosh, who took part in defending Chimpanzia against an evil invasion led by the super-villain Duke Terror and the Fuss down-sider Trillyun Subaru. The third visitor is a hairless demi-human business woman from Planet Goldarnit, named B'Taolo. Note that Goldarns are close enough to us in science and industry to understand anything technical that we tell them. Giles Magg will join you at some stage to assist with briefings.

"These three have been touring environment-cleansing facilities on Greedy Crime. They have also conferred, remotely or in person, with such dignitaries as Groan Starr, Princess Vixen, Trala-Lalia Ashtrayides, Bunkem Isotope, Diskoduck of Directvideo and his wife Wilma Dearthing, Alec Hurdygurdy, Princess Eerilake Calamari, Count Havabeer. and Penny Jezebel Sister Fluralida."

Once B'Taolo, Yubadosh and Likkoreesha were introduced to the Blenders, the Goldarnit woman asked a question she had been bursting to ask: "What is the 'Ludicrous Velocity' that I've heard people talk about?"

For an instant, Andy Blender imagined he was back on board the world-killing mega-mothership. Recovering, he answered;

"Your people's own starships, the starships of all member worlds in your Bubblewrap Coalition, ships of the Republic of Lots of Worlds, ships of the Human Federation, and practically all starships for that matter, depend on being able to enter hyperspace. Vessels of the Spaced-Out Guild are a special case, as they don't exactly MOVE at all to cross galactic distances. But Spacebullion technology enables flying faster than light WHILE REMAINING in normal space. The old mothership had this capability; she would go out of phase just enough not to collide with material objects, but we could still observe things around us by standard normal-space tracking technology.

"If the new dreadnought has to sortie out and engage hostiles from outside the system she guards, her crew can keep the enemy under observation in real time, calculating target solutions all the way up to weapons-free."

Yubadosh now spoke up: "I come from a planet where magic works, but where we are almost entirely lacking in spaceflight technology. All we have is busted specimens of what Emperor Crowdhack used to possess. The only indigenous Anoxian being who's able to travel efficiently in vacuum by magical means-- unless you count Green Flashlight Bowsaw as magical-- is Equivvalentor, the Dragon of Reasonableness. Inter-GALACTIC visitors have come to Anoxia from Planetoid Jumpstard; but Queen She-Wow has no convenient means to reciprocate such visits by scientific methods."

Quarkie shrugged. "Even experienced Naughtygators like Tupragon have never tried going to a separate galaxy."

"Well, fortunately," said Likkoreesha, "Anoxia lies within the SAME galaxy as Greedy Crime."

Andy Blender led the visitors to an external-observation station. One piece of equipment here was completely unrecognizable to the visitors. "This," the former admiral told them, "is a retroactive time-scanner. It does just what the name suggests. The device only reveals past events if it's being used by someone who has some sort of connection or vested interest in the events."

B'Taolo interjected: "I expect that if the dreadnought is bound for a potential combat scene, the very fact of the ship's mission would qualify anyone on board to perform time-scanning which was relevant."

"It should work that way: let our side see what was going on immediately before their arrival. A past-oscope like the one here was successfully used a couple of years ago, to reveal pertinent information for heroes who were out to bring down the tyrant Vernacula Scurvylaff."

+ + + + + + + + + + +

The ship's dining deck was open for business; and Goldarns, Chimpanzians and Orangutanoids could all digest the same foods as humans ate. Accordingly, the three visitors who had just met with the Blenders were treated to lunch without complications. Meanwhile, Andy and Quarkie found they had new visitors, two Penny Jezebels from the outlying world called Gumwad. Rajah Ramrocket escorted them in. The elder Gumwaddian made introductions, with her eyes on Quarkie.

"I am Sister Yolesha, formerly among the leaders on Gumwad: this, before the Hotblood Matrons invaded us. With me is Sister Soopnoomry. We speak for our colony, including those Hotblood Matrons who repented of their evil ways."

The junior space-witch interjected: "We, and even the Hotbloods, received a corrective education on Gumwad, being shown by off-world males like Spiderweb-Man that NOT ALL women are better at everything than all men. I wish Spiderweb-Man had not returned to Seedubb Earth."

Yolesha smiled indulgently at her protegee, then turned toward Quarkie again.

"There still are Hotblood Matrons unaccounted for; the same goes for the ancient evil robots. The superheroes who have won victories over those menaces are not with us permanently. House Ashtrayides never assumed permanent sovereignty over our planet, and we know that most Imperial worlds have been emancipated with only loose ties remaining. But our position is untenable. We've come with a request for Duke Stillneater to assume despotic rule over us."

Rajah corrected her: "My master, Stillneater the Incorruptible, successfully rejected the unnatural influences which would have MADE HIM despotic. He will, however, meet with you on Waterpark, to discuss how you and he can agree upon his assuming CONSTITUTIONAL authority over Gumwad, with civil liberties guaranteed for your people."

When Rajah withdrew, Andy and Quarkie spoke at length with the Gumwaddian women, recounting how the Spacebullion people (partly thanks to Professor Jean Yuss) and the Greedy Crimer people (partly thanks to General Alec Hurdygurdy) had been eased into authentic representative government. Although Quarkie had no cause to doubt her husband's faithfulness to her, she couldn't help feeling jealous of the inhuman beauty of the two Penny Jezebels.

 

[Copperfox]

Ulysses Bardette, a pilot who had played an important role in establishing non-Jalapeno-dependent spacecraft for the Galactic Empire, had been tagged to be Chief Navigator of the not-yet-christened mega-dreadnought. Around the time when Mr. and Mrs. Blender finished going over preliminaries of annexation with Yolesha and Soopnoomry, Ulysses was joined in the Secondary Ship-Control compartment by the Goulash clone Bunkem Isotope. My readers may recall that, unlike Giles Magg the Goulash of Neato Ashtrayides, the cloned Bunkem ACTUALLY WAS the same person he had been. >>>>>> ,

------- A BROWSER PROBLEM, NOT OF MY MAKING, IS PREVENTING ME FROM POSTING MORE -------

 

[Copperfox]

ALL RIGHT, POSTING BUT NO MENU!!

Trying to restore font availability.

The same work-around I formerly tried without success, APPEARS to work now.


>>> Note-to-self for another post----- must see if I can work in the character of Luchador Hidalgo.

 

[Copperfox]

"Ulysses," Bunkem began, "since non-Guild interstellar transport is the wave of our future, what's your opinion: will interstellar politics improve or worsen?"

The navigator-designate leaned back and raised his eyebrows. "But you're the Mentalcat! You must already have a hypothesis."

"I have one, all right. I believe that the success of this dreadnought will be crucial for the stability of our civilization. The Naughtygators, even those who have sincerely accepted Ashtrayides leadership, resent losing their importance in our sub-universe. They SHOULD realize that they won't become useless at all, They can look into the future MORE accurately than Penny Jezebels can; and your past-event scanner can ONLY see the past. Assigning one or more Naughtygators-- trustworthy men like Haxxadoff-- to this ship's command staff, will greatly facilitate the captain's decision- making. And recently-emancipated planets, seeing the Spaced-Out Guild submitting to the new constitutional regime, should be reassured that, with their autonomy respected, they can prosper by still having some Imperial ties."

"Well, yes, what you said. How can utilizing the talents of loyal Naughtygators FAIL to produce the desired result? Especially since Duke Stillneater has conclusively demonstrated his commitment to protecting individual rights?"

Bunkem looked thoughtful; he wouldn't have qualified as a Mentalcat if he hadn't been good at looking thoughtful. "Under the Calamari Dynasty, there was at least a certain predictability, AND a certain openness, in galactic life. Our sub-universe was big enough that, even without any non-human sapient races being part of our civilization, nobody felt as if our galactic region was cramped or monotonous. Now, however, all former Calamari subjects know that other galactic societies have their own interstellar shipping. Of course, much of this transformation is due to the people from Seedubb Earth who have interacted with our people; but it's conceivable that Naughtygator incursions into other sub- universes would produce unintended consequences."

Ulysses looked puzzled. "But as you say, we have Naughtygators reformed and enlightened."

"Enlightened..... until, perhaps, they face temptation. Seedubb Earth proved to have enough super-powered inhabitants-- you know some of them, Ulysses-- who could make things very difficult for would-be conquerors. But other worlds in the vaster universe might have much less defense against new interstellar despots. Just think if all of the not-yet-reformed Hotblood Matrons got together with resentful Guild members, jumped far beyond any place known to people in our Frank Herbert-derived reality-zone, and subjugated less-advanced worlds."

"Do Mentalcats ever worry about themselves over-thinking a subject?" asked the veteran spacer.

"It's better than under-thinking." Bunkem paused. "Do you remember that metahuman called Block Atom who meddled in our sector? He was easily as powerful as any of the superheroes on Seedubb, and could simply walk over any warriors we had. But the Seedubb native called Batfellow outsmarted him. I believe Batfellow is an anomaly: a NATURAL Mentalcat. My mother-in-law, Lady Jazzica, has ascertained psychically that Batfellow RETIRED from fighting crime in Urbanopolis. Maybe we could persuade him and his reformed- criminal wife to relocate here for a time. Lend us their insights on anticipating the actions of evildoers."

+ + + + + + + + + +

In a wild meadow on a Dune-based-reality world called Stamnorgo, there stood a massive biped sapient whose long arms possessed an extra joint. Major Jedfarzor son of Jedjax was an infantry officer of the Ziblamot race. Native to the presumably-Andromeda galaxy, Ziblamots had been among the earliest intelligent beings in that galaxy to achieve lightspeed flight. They had made peaceful contact with true-humans of that galaxy; with two human-like races called Dahudorans and Arpkevorkians, with the amoeba-like Shmeehobbers, and with the vaguely crab-shaped Poobeedoorans. Sharing some of their science with these other species, the Ziblamots had played a Vulcan-type role in creating The Cosmic Federation.

Only the Dahudorans had declined to assume full membership in this new community, because they already had ties with Planet New Laziness. But they did interact regularly with the Ziblamots-- and much more with Humans, these two races being attractive to each other and able to produce viable offspring together without complications. Multiplying faster than Ziblamots, humanoids had grown in political strength within the Cosmic Federation; eventually, the worst of them had become politically dominant, aided by the worst elements of Arpkevork.

The Human-and-Arpkevorkian tyranny had been challenged by Lodge Flake, a man of mixed Human-Dahudoran blood, who eventually was transformed into the superhero Captain Rightawrong; but plenty of help for the side of good had come from the First Galaxy, particularly in the form of good wizard Hector von Bootblack and multiple Green Flashlights. Honest people of the Federation would always be grateful for the aid they received........

And this was why Jedfarzor now stood among many prominent Stamnorgar humans, conferring about planetary defense. Copperfox reminds the readers that, based on the Dune prequels written by the son of Frank Herbert, bunches of Terminator-type evil robots want to eliminate all sentient organic life.

This planet not being a desert, a local fisherman walked up to the base camp which the Ziblamots had established where it wouldn't interfere with anyone. "Major Jedfarzor? My name is Wilhelm Divaldi. The headman of our town received a call through our land-line telephone system from a Hoofmarkian who has been teaching people about nearby star systems. You know about Hoofmarkians, do you not?"

The huge alien visitor nodded. "Yes, I do. Is this particular centauroid a Green Flashlight?"

"No sir, she is not, but I believe it was a Flashlight Corps member who brought her to Stamnorgo. This Hoofmarkian's name is Varvorbif; and she is bringing with her a Penny Jezebel who drifted away from the downfallen Emperor-Emeritus Candham."

A Ziblamot's face was just human-like enough that a human might succeed in reading their moods. Jedfarzor looked puzzled, but immediately spoke in his own tongue to an aide. Facing Wilhelm again: "All right, I knew that this fractured empire had women with quasi-magical powers, but I wasn't clear that 'Penny Jezebel' was what they were called. The sergeant here filled me in. Does this sorceress have a name?"

"Twitfloozie is her name. She had some part with Lazytaxies in creating a Goulash clone who was supposed to influence Lady Jazzica. That didn't work out, so Twitfloozie grabbed her first opportunity to distance herself from the old Emperor's foundering ship."

 

[Copperfox]

Trala-Lalia of the Spoon, the sister of Groan Starr and aunt of Duke Stillneater Ashtrayides, had finished up whatever else she had lately been doing. She had always preferred her kung-fu-type disciplines over hard science. Consequently, she had told her husband Bunkem to have fun working with Ulysses and that crowd on the dreadnought project. With tame Naughtygators to give her a ride, she visited several planets where Penny Jezebels might be found. Where she found some, her ability to levitate a big long spoon around served as a conversation starter. Conversations thus initiated were usually about reasons why all Penny Jezebels should support the new constitution.

Not long before the above-described meeting between Wilhelm Divaldi and Major Jedfarzor of Planet Blamtet, Trala-Lalia met with local Stamnorgar authorities: again, advocating constitutional monarchy with representative lawmaking. After this, she caught an aircraft ride to where she could speak with Jedfarzor, Twitfloozie and Varvorbif. These three consented to appear in a planetary media broadcast with her, to endorse a proposal for the Stamnorgar humans. What follows is a condensed version of Trala's presentation, which was not directly related to the subject of constitutional government:

"Penny Jezebel skills are something I would be sorry to have missed learning; but marriage to Bunkem has shown me a wider view. Our future-seeing talent is valuable-- but only so many people, mostly women, can ever have it. Of course, there are other paths by which males can enjoy precognition, but we know how it is in our own sub-universe. Under the plotline-defining setup in the Galactic Empire, Mentalcat training is far more accessible than Penny Jezebel mysteries, while the Green Flashlight and Heart Sapphire gifts are highly exclusive. By contrast, the Mentalcat way can potentially be assimilated by outsiders, non-humans included; AND every race-- the centauroids not least of these-- can profit by having more geniuses among them."

"You can rely on me to advocate this educational plan to my people and the Jinobridons," Varvorbif assured Trala-Lalia. Twitfloozie remarked, "Perhaps if some Penny Jezebels volunteer to help find Mentalcat candidates, our own reputation in the galaxy will become nicer than 'insufferable narcissistic male-bashers'."

Trala-Lalia did eventually converse privately with Jedfarzor. His most pertinent words about Mentalcat training were: "As you may have heard, a few years ago many humans in my civilization were struck by a psionic attack, which temporarily changed them into idiots. If your intellectual training can impart resistance to such a threat, I will urge our interstellar legislative assembly to implement it federation-wide."

+ + + + + + + + + + + +

Captain Pro Dashalong flew his compact warship from the Directvidean star system to Planet Greedy Crime. With him was Hadrianus Tolpin, a representative of Chimpanzia's Department of Transportation. The ape-world already possessed all the designs and plans for aircraft it could possibly use anytime in the next decade; but Hadrianus planned to collect specifications on atmospheric transportation in the Frank Herbert--based story-reality, so that the NEXT generation of Chimpanzians could advance onward smoothly in that sphere of activity. No Chimpanzian resented being visited by friendly starship-using off-worlders; but they all desired to progress as naturally as possible toward their own eventual independent starflight.

And whether it be with Dune-series-type supernormal talents or Star-Wars-type supernormal talents, the Chimpanzians would collectively feel better about themselves if they could nurture meta-simian individuals for the betterment of their homeworld.

Knowing about the Chimpanzians and their wholesome ambitions, Rajah Ramrocket promised to involve himself in giving them a boost. He and the Goldarnit woman B'Taolo put their heads together to discuss how this could best be done. And their two races were JUST similar enough biologically that, in the course of this business, Rajah and B'Taolo found that (despite his having hair, and despite her not having hair) they liked each other A LOT.

So much so, that at their earliest opportunity, they contacted the Keeper of the Great Artifact on Planet Upsydaisylon, in the Babylon Five-based sub-reality. They discussed with him the case of Yessa the Braykpedduli woman marrying human astronaut Woodrow Ackerman after he saved her life. As the woman native to that sub-reality, B'Taolo asked the Keeper, "Since the Ackermans have already produced viable offspring, do you think Rajah and I could do the same?"

"You're in luck," replied the Mintcandybarri-born seer. "The actual 'Babylon Five' TV series on Original Earth strongly suggested that Humans and Narns could interbreed successfully, though they didn't dwell on it. So you shouldn't have any insurmountable difficulties. AFTER the two of you have decided whether you really do feel up to a marriage commitment, I'll talk with you further."

+ + + + + + + + +

 

[Copperfox]

On Planet Waterpark, three of the off-worlders who had previously helped House Ashtrayides to thwart an amphibious invasion by evil forces, were still on-planet. Each of these was able to breathe both water and air. The most powerful of these was Chubkripdak, the lobster-shaped Green Flashlight, who had lately returned from giving Giles Magg a ride to a distant frontier world. The others were a pair of mer-people from Planet Anoxia: Tunakassrol and his converted-from-evil wife Tunafishla. As we pick up this event-sequence, Duke Stillneater and his fiancee Nimdaret Fabialta were chilling out on a broad beach with their off-world friends. As the three superheroes had learned, Nimdaret's father Spencer Fabialta had been an Ashtrayides soldier who died gallantly fighting the Snarkonnens. Nimdaret was eight years older than Stillneater; but the increased life expectancy bestowed on her by The Jalapeno --plus the precocious young Duke being mentally superior to most sapient beings anywhere-- made her age irrelevant to her betrothed.

"Your Highness," Tunafishla addressed Stillneater, "you have heard my man and me describing how Queen She-Wow's regime is so respectful to individual rights, that nobody feels any need to institutionalize any restraints on her authority."

"To be accurate," interjected Tunakassrol, "that's no HUMAN-enforced restraints. Ever since the practically-invincible Dragon Equivvalentor discarded neutrality in favor of total goodness, She-Wow knows that, in the extremely remote likelihood of her ever turning bad, the Dragon of Reasonableness would put a stop to any abuses she began to commit. If she became really REALLY naughty, Equivvalentor might go so far as inflicting a non-life-threatening flesh wound on her left shoulder. At this moment, he is inspecting the environment- cleansing operations on Greedy Crime, and will probably pass along suggestions to She-Wow's officials."

"That's well and good," sighed the young sovereign, "while Advila She-Wow lives. But a benevolent ruler might be succeeded by a predatory one. I like to believe that I'm a good ruler; but even with storyline reboots, I can't live forever. When She-Wow and I both depart this life to enter The Good Place, our subjects will need some protection against the NEXT rulers oppressing them, assuming that such despots aren't scared of Equivvalentor."

The discussion moved on to a little-understood evil mentioned in the Bill of Rights in Original Earth's United States: "unreasonable searches and seizures." Tunakassrol, accustomed to serving a monarch who was genuinely good-aligned, innocently remarked, "Honest people wouldn't have anything to hide." Stillneater instantly retorted to this:

"That is only true IF THE LEADERSHIP IS HONEST. Unrighteous rulers will want to know every detail of your lives, SO THAT they can control every move you make. They might prohibit some harmless private hobby of yours, merely because they ENJOY prohibiting things."

Being a good man, Tunakassrol needed only a moment to see the Duke's point. The discussion went on-- until a white-haired but not at all old woman materialized in front of them. From head to toes, she was so impossibly gorgeous that her beauty struck a beholder's eyes like a fist. Sitting at her feet, half-conscious and leaning on each other, were two young women almost as lovely as she. One of these had fair hair and striking blue eyes; the other was notable for hair colored an uncommonly deep scarlet. "I am Sorcery Lass of Planet Alwaysurnia," she announced. Indicating the drowsy pair by her feet: "These women are from the associated world of Anoxia. This is Winkyblue, a close friend of She-Wow, and the redhead is Interrupta, formerly a servant of The Mob, now on the side of good. I brought them here so that they can learn what you, Stillneater, can teach them. They, in turn, can spread knowledge to other Anoxians.

"Nimdaret Fabialta of the Ashtrayides, I sense your instinctive jealousy, but you need not concern yourself about Winkyblue and Interrupta-- although, BEFORE her conversion to decency, Interrupta might have indeed wanted to steal your man. They are here purely to learn wisdom."

Winkyblue was a sort of clairvoyant, long associated with Advila a.k.a. She-Wow; she could even see around corners. Her companion had been a technician employed at an evil research facility. Working for Crowdhack's Mob, Interrupta used to produce intentionally shoddy consumer goods and appliances which never worked right. Interrupta had gotten won over to goodness after a feeble pretense of a physical fight with Winkyblue. Neither woman had punched, kicked, slapped, elbowed, choked, bitten, clawed, head-butted, body-slammed, or even hair-pulled the other; they had merely done a token bit of scuffling, before both started sobbing in their dislike of any violence. Now also a vassal to Queen Advila, Interrupta was usually in Winkyblue's company, and they shared frequent weeping spells.

Sorcery Lass now materialized a towel on the right shoulder of each of her passengers. When Winkyblue and Interrupta realized that Nimdaret thought ill of them, they both began crying on each other's right shoulder. Stillneater soon used The Chatter, commanding the pair: "You will accept my word that my fiancee only felt a fleeting instinctive impulse of resentment. Nimdaret, YOU will understand fully that these newcomers are no threat to our betrothal. It is you whom I desire and cherish. Newcomers, you will also accept my word that this non-human creature, Chubkripdak, would never harm you. He too is on the side of good, and he can teach you the same truths I could teach. So don't worry 'bout a thing, 'cause every little thing gonna be all right."

 

[Copperfox]

+ + + + + + + + +

Giles Magg was currently on a slightly-settled inhabitable planet called Bakwudza, which currently boasted only one permanent fortified village, whimsically dubbed Toehold by its 8,000- odd inhabitants. Tame Naughtygators had dropped Giles off here, with an escort of fifteen Srirachian desert warriors. The leader of this escort was named Punchout, and was distantly related to Regent Sleevecard.

Notified in advance of the Goulash clone's coming, the elderly headwoman of Toehold, Sally Porter by name, welcomed the visitors. Her first words were to Giles: "Creator save us, you REALLY DO look just like Neato the Pure-Hearted and Generally Likeable!"

"Thank you for saying so. The Duke certainly left me a virtuous role model to emulate."

"But is it true that you can run far faster than any Jalapeno- powered person ever managed, even the Hotblood Matrons?"

"Well....." Between this word and the next word he spoke, Giles ran half a kilometer away, returned with a fistful of native wildflowers, sheltered them in his cloak against the wind of his racing, returned to his party, and handed the flowers to Sally.

"It would appear to be true."

+ + + + + + + + + +

Very far away, the she-demon Heckla had finally regained most of her strength, after Inexorable Trash and Hopecrusher personnel had retconned her back to life. She had attempted a repeat attack on Jumpstard in the Third Galaxy, only to get her-- um, shins-- kicked by King Woollywoofin and his son Bakerstray Bill. Still trying to deny her defeat, she had found a sympathetic hearer in Trash.

"Let's warm up with slightly easier prey," the still-uglier monster told the ugly she-fiend. "The Dune-based sub-reality does need some renewal of pessimism, but our efforts there will be facilitated by the fact that FRANK HERBERT ON ORIGINAL EARTH PERSONALLY WANTED everything to be miserable and gloomy. If he hadn't been fixated on that, he never would have expected his readers to swallow the absurdity that a horrible monster oppressing humanity for MANY CENTURIES could ever be the BEST way to make people appreciate freedom and justice."

"Okay, Inexorable, I'm up for that. Let's go where we'll be genuinely FOLLOWING a source author's own desires. It may still be possible after all to persuade Stillneater Ashtrayides to forget love and happiness, in favor of being a murderous immortal dictator."

"There's my girl! But I don't recommend going after Stillneater first. The forces of good would expect that from us. Instead, let's tamper with a side character, but a side character who could BECOME a major obstacle to our campaign of ruining everything if we don't corrupt him. I refer to Giles Magg."

 

[Copperfox]

\\\\\\\\\ WE HAVEN'T BEEN ON JERSEY EARTH FOR QUITE A WHILE. IT IS THE EARTH-VARIANT WHERE THE HEART SAPPHIRES (WHO SERVE KING HIGHFYVER OF NEW LAZINESS) TRIED TO MAKE EVERYONE DEPENDENT ON THEM. IT'S ALSO THE EARTH-VARIANT WHERE A TAKEOFF ON THE OLD COMIC-STRIP HERO DICK TRACY ACQUIRED JEDI-TYPE ABILITIES.

Since I last portrayed action on Jersey Earth, two teenage siblings from Trace Dickey's old hometown of Magnet City had (with their parents lodging nearby and seeing them daily) been enrolled in a sort of technical boarding school in the state capital of New Jersey-- where Trace was now situated as Commandant of the New Jersey State Police. Supported by all newly- enlightened Heart Sapphires who had come to regret their clumsy interference on this Earth-variant, the rapidly-growing school was called The Atlantic Seaboard Academy of Things Which Actually Matter. Some students were already calling it "TASA-TWAM." Heart Sapphires, including Trace Dickey's wife Bess, had pooled their powers to construct all the campus buildings at no cost to anyone (though plumbing, wiring and window-fitting were done by regular people).

Hamid Peterson, whom Trace Dickey had once rescued from being devoured by feral dogs (they only _became_ feral because of the chaos unwittingly created by the Sapphire Sisterhood), was now training to become an animal-control specialist. His younger sister Watusi Peterson was studying architecture (having watched her old neighborhood being rebuilt). Like other TASA-TWAM students, the Peterson kids were allowed to pursue liberal arts as a side interest, but occupational subjects were the whole prerequisite for their graduation.

On a Saturday morning, while jogging around the academy's campus, Hamid and Watusi crossed paths with one of the state troopers under their family friend's command: Corporal Serena Billings. Falling into step with them, the tall woman asked them, "Have you guys decided on your sub-specialties?"

"Dogs for me, of course," Hamid replied. "Got to face my fears."

Watusi said, "My choice has a reason, too. I'll specialize in restoring partially destroyed buildings." }}}}}}

 

[Copperfox]

Manually setting up menu-code for scenes on Jersey Earth. Note that Jorge Feliciano, a police commander from Wisconsin, has the specialized Fuss power to slow down physical movement, even of a free-falling object. We will find him in Sudan with Kahilu Baloval, the Angolan technopath.

On this Earth as on most of them, the 19th century had seen early industrialization using the current of rivers to turn wheels which would then power simple stationary machines. (This activity has been depicted on Planet Jinobrid.) Jorge, on a short leave from his police duties, had accompanied Kahilu to Sudan's Atbarah River. Kahilu had created a modular installation which would use water power to run gravel-crushing machinery for road-paving purposes. With a strenuous exertion of The Fuss, Jorge held back the river long enough that Jorge and several assistants could carry components onto the riverbed and assemble them in place.

The successful creation of a low-tech industrial site was celebrated that night with a barbecue party. Fatima Kutuzova, the young Heart Sapphire from Uzbekistan, dropped in after midnight. Not that she was any sort of night owl; it just happened that this hour was morning in her home timezone. She scarcely had time to utter a word before Kahilu told her, "Yes, all meat being eaten here was harvested painlessly-- NOT by the Halal procedure." Fatima nodded, and even allowed herself to accept a small quantity of slow-cooked beef.

Before the working party turned in around one a.m. Sudanese time, just as Fatima was about to fly home, Kahilu asked her if there were any pressing needs for a technopath over in her part of the former Soviet Union.

"I confess that I don't know. I mostly do nature-conservation projects."

"Fair enough. See you around, Miss Kutuzova." And away she flew. Not every place on every story-world was required to have life-or-death emergencies arising every day.

But another Jersey Earthling, the Algonquin Indian wizard Roger Tree Root, would soon see some real action.