Entertain you? Okay, here's a poem I once wrote about the narcissistic self-centeredness which really lies at the root of much so-called mental illness.
Tom Trendy felt a passion for himself;
The magazines all told him he was right
To live for his own happiness and health--
And he, of course, believed in Crystal Light.
"I'll be no good for others," went his line,
"If I'm not good for ME!"--but at each test,
Just serving Number One took ALL his time,
With not one minute for unselfishness.
He cheated on his income tax, then said,
"Now, why do I do such dishonest stuff?
The answer's clear if I just use my head:
I've simply never loved myself ENOUGH!"
So Tom went to a pop psychologist,
Who told him what he wanted to be told:
"All sense of guilt and sin must be dismissed,
For your self-love to take a firmer hold."
This sounded good to Tom, who promptly dumped
The five girlfriends he'd long been juggling,
Then with embezzled money, quickly jumped
On board a cruise ship, where he played the king.
Girl passengers hung on his every word
Of living only for the here and now;
He had one in his room when there occurred
Catastrophe: an iceberg struck the bow.
Now Tom could show how his enlightenment
Affected others in the human race:
He sprinted from the room, and as he went,
He left a footprint on his new girl's face.
A blind man, three grandmothers, and a child,
Got in his way, and so were trampled flat;
Propelled by purest love of self, Tom piled
Into a half-filled boat, and yelled, "Now scat!"
From safety, Tom heard every horrid sound,
And watched the ship sink in the ocean swells;
Then, for the dead, he spoke these words profound:
"I hope those poor souls died loving themselves!"
(c) 1991 Joseph R. Ravitts
Certainly was entertaining. Huzzah for you. *tosses Copper a cookie*
Here's some poetry of my own. Truly awful stuff...I am in no way a poet...
Sitting the street one day
Quite hidden in the road,
Basking in the red hot sun,
Sat a fat and ugly toad.
His name was Sir Reggie,
And in the street he sat,
But soon came up the road,
A sleek and shrewd cat.
“Reggie, Sir,” The cat meowed,
“You are in my way,”
The toad croaked in an angry voice,
“Fat cat, go away!”
The Feline purred and closed his eyes
He said, “I would not speak so,”
Reggie said impudently,
“I’m napping. Leave me alone and go,”
The cat, he pierced that toad
With a fierce and angry stare.
“I’ve warned you once,” the feline said,
The toad remarked, “I’m not leaving, so there!”
The feline had now his temper raised,
And then he said, “Strike two,”
Reggie just croaked and rolled his eyes,
He said, “Don’t tell me what to do!”
The cat, he fairly screeched at Reggie,
“Get out of my way, you snot!”
Sir Reggie giggled a little bit and said,
“I will not,”
And so the argued,
Cat and toad
Until a big truck came along
And flattened them both on the road.
