The Order of the Can III

"Terminal degree." That's my favorite kind. It either kills you or sends you to an airport...any airport....
 
Who fly planes but can't see over the steering equipment.... Actually, the pink bunnies are the reason that researchers are experimenting with computer-controlled planes. The number of people killed by pink bunny-piloted planes is higher than the death toll for the War of Jenkins' Ear, the Pig War, the Football War, and the Great Emu War combined. (Yes, all of those were real wars...of a sort.)
 
That statistic may or may not have been skewed by the habits of pink marshmallow peeps in impersonating pink bunnies. The real pink bunny population's spokesbunny insists that their reputation is unearned.
 
Yes, but the Energizer Bunny, a noted psychopath, is one of the genuine pink bunnies. The pink bunny population still has not formally ejected him from their number, despite the fact that he covertly spreads battery acid everywhere he goes.
 
Armed robbery and money laundering, actually. He's a slippery character, and the police haven't been able to charge him with causing the massive battery explosion that recently killed the vice chancellor of Antarctica.
 
That got the even the peaceable purple penguins riled up. I hear talk of reviving ancient practices of ear-hunting... Beware, bunnies! And marshmallow impersonations of bunnies!
 
Ear-hunting...it suggests that the War of Jenkins' Ear might have had another cause than the one usually suggested. It could even revolutionize psychology. The Oedipus complex isn't really about what Freud suggested. It's really about children who are powerless to join in adult ear-hunting practices.
 
Well no one really thinks anything is about what Freud suggests anyway. Everyone who has followed Freud's analyses has come to a gruesome end (most notably Dr. Grumbles, his greatest devoted follower...but we had best not talk about his demise).
 
But gruesome ends interest high schoolers and make the teachers who talk about them extremely popular. Therefore, Freud has some uses.

Which makes me wonder, then, about undergraduates, and whether any of them have ended up with complexes from reading Freud. Probably.

Which brings me to another subject. Meatballs. They apparently can get depressed at times...something about being ground up and smashed into a ball.....
 
Only because they don't understand the true glory of their fate. What could be better than becoming a meatball? "Meatball" wasn't my first word for nothing...
 
The only thing better than becoming a meatball is becoming a Dark Lord. Some people (i.e. Morgoth and Sauron) have taken the job too seriously. As a result, nasty things happened to them, like being imprisoned in the Void. But Dark Lords with a healthy sense of irony enjoy the finer points of Dark life, like confusing hobbits.
 
Glenburne said:
The only thing better than becoming a meatball is becoming a Dark Lord. Some people (i.e. Morgoth and Sauron) have taken the job too seriously. As a result, nasty things happened to them, like being imprisoned in the Void. But Dark Lords with a healthy sense of irony enjoy the finer points of Dark life, like confusing hobbits.
Click to expand...

Woah! I am a little concerned about what may or may not be implied by "confusing hobbits". I really can't support that...
 
That was the original title of the information section at the beginning of The Lord of the Rings--"Confusing Hobbits." Some people think this was because the later hobbits who wrote LotR found their own history confusing, but the truth is that a later Dark Lord, much wiser than Sauron, wrote a complicated history in order to confuse them. This, because it is amusing, and because hobbits actually enjoy being confused. It gives them an excuse to go for more pipe-weed.
 
Exactly how did your parents manage this relationship? And did the one ever smoke pipe-weed when he was angry at the other?

Dryad: No, you make me a sandwich.
Hobbit: *slowly pantomines lighting pipe*
Dryad: *collapses in horror*
 
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