(Note: Please do not be alarmed by the formality of this speech. It has nothing to do with Shakespeare. He was a genius, but not a duffer.)
Most worthy duffers,
It is, once again, time to unite. Even though our favourite pastime is fighting each other, I suggest we unite to save Dufferland from its downfall. Its downfall, you ask? (Yes, you asked. You may not recall it, but you did.) Oh, but by speaking about a downfall I do not mean cliffs, or the Everest, or the Caradhras, or the universe, or the black hole, and not even the fact that I am using capitals to make this look more official. I mean the niting truth that Dufferland is slowly, but inevitably (hang on, I’m going to beat this word up in a moment) dying.
But since nothing is impossible if you just believe (cf. Disney movie of your choice) and nothing is impossible for duffers (cf. Dernhelm 2007: “I’m just being a duffer”), we can prevent that dreadful thing called death from happening. Please do not be alarmed, if I say that Dufferland must come alive once again. The resemblance to the mysterious and somewhat frightening word “life” is completely coincidental.
Let us cast a look back into the past of Dufferland to illustrate the meaning of a live duffering culture. You find duffering in its purest form if you search in threads with “duffer” in their title and go to page 17-81. In this context I found the following, which almost moved me to tears (but I was too confused for my eyes to be moved from staring at the screen in wonder).
lieke said:
Oh great, i go away for two weeks, the smiley armies are back out, the only thing still missing are the people who eat them *Olorin walks by eating both smiley armies* never mind that, and we´re back at the old level, which is basically the complete nothingness of our brains (which brains? the one we had when we had a life? What´s life? no, you mean ´What´s life, preciousss´ ah, ´What´s life, precioussss´ Dunno, why are you talking about? Dunno, Smiley? Oh, yes please! Which one -_- Cool, no.)
Did i make myself clear? (i really hope i did so you could explain it to me now)
Great, i´m lost. (SMILEEYYY)
It will come to your attention that, although she is talking complete and utter nonsense, she is referring to a statement someone else made, and she is not jumping to conclusions, but is explaining her point in a sort of logic (in this case, “logic” is not used to insult anyone).
I would never have thought I would be one to beg the inhabitants of Dufferland to be sanely insane (but I couldn't think of a way to cover up that this is what I am doing...). Monologues that no one can make sense of serve the one purpose of killing threads, because everyone is too confused to reply.
I am not telling you all this because I’m hoping that the Golden Age will return (because it won’t. It’s with Morgoth, the yellow mods and the clone machine.). Rather, I’m hoping to introduce to all of you the Diamond Age… no wait, this doesn’t sound as grand as I would like it to. Maybe an alliteration would help? I’m introducing to you the Astounding Age of Amazing Alliterations… this doesn’t make any sense. I should try a rhyme. I’m introducing to you the Age of Rage… no, too aggressive… oh, whatever… yes! I’m introducing to you the Age of Whatever! Sounds mysterious at least.
Sincerely,
Miss Freckles (or whatever you’re calling me nowadays)
(I wasn't quite sure whether it was or wasn't arrogant of me to tell people how to post in a forum, but I hope you get my point. Forums are for communication, and most of you will know that this works best when you're being cooperative. I've talked about this with some old duffers, and the above is our common perception of things.)
