war of the dwarves and elves!

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Pressing special control switches on the hafts of their double-edged battleaxes, a platoon of Dwarves cause their ax-blades to whirl like fans, driving any dirty-diaper stench back toward the Elves.
 
One of the Dwarves has a solid-state alpha-wave emitter built into his beard, which stabilizes the Elf-baby's brain and puts it harmlessly to sleep. Two Dwarf-women change the baby, saving the dirty diaper for laboratory experiments, and hand the baby back over to the Elves.
 
Baby Elf: *wakes up* *crawls toward Dwarves' camp* *cries* *spits up* *eats lemon cookie*
 
This time the Dwarves take a sample of the spit, to be combined in the laboratory with the dirty diaper, soon creating a biochemical weapon of ultimate yuckiness which, if they ever have to unleash it, will not stick to any Dwarf, but will coat all Elves near it with yuckiness. So beware, sissy Elves!
 
Baby Elf: *crawls to lab* *finds biochemical weapon* *eats* *sucks thumb* *takes nap*
 
Sopespian said:
*throws a football at the elves, while kicking a football at the Dwarves*
Click to expand...


A Dwarvish technician inconspicuously takes measurements of the football sent his way, with a view to possibly using footballs as secret delivery devices for the yuckiness-weapon if that weapon should have to be deployed.
 
Dorthy: *watches* I like how the dwarves are being foiled by a baby.:p
Caspian: I have one question,
Dorthy: *groans*
Caspian: :rolleyes: How did the sides get so smart? This is supposed to be a medieval world and yet we have space-ships and sience labs, whats up with that?
Dorthy: Technically, that's two questions.
Caspian: Who cares?
Dorthy: Me, 'cause I'm you're annoying sister and its my job to point out your mistakes and file them for further notice. *writes down Caspian's question mistake for further reference*
Caspian: That's it, I'm joining the dwarves so I can kill you with stink-bombs.
Dorthy: Yeah, you do that, 'cause remember- they lied about the cookies. Only we ELVES have cookies. You're going to the dark side. They fale.
Caspian: They have cake. Mewsie told me they have cake, see, *points to a giant cake in the middle of the dwarf camp*
Dorthy: :eek: What the heck?!?! How, when, that get there?
Caspian: I dunno, maybe it came with the pizza delivery. *points to pizza truck driving out of dwarf camp*
Dorthy: Well we have..... *thinks* *face slowly forms an evil grin* We have the Galactica. We have all the food from the last million foodfights on this forum. You. Fale.
Caspian: *sticks out tongue and walks over to the dwarf camp* Hey guys, I'm joining you so I can beat my sister up legally in this game. xD *evil laugh*
Dorthy: oh frack. I just gave the dwarves access to the most leathal weapon known to dwarf, elf, hobbit, cat and human..... THE TOMATO CANNON!:eek:
Theme music: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUN!
 
However, the adult sissy Elves only THINK that the Elf-baby is foiling anyone. The yuckiness weapon, being derived FROM that baby, never was intended to affect the baby, but rather to affect adult sissy Elves. And, since the Elf side has before now claimed the right to say in its posts that such-and-such action does affect the Dwarves, now fair play requires that it works the other way too.

Unleashed, the biochemical weapon sweeps over the sissy-Elf ranks, grossing them all out so badly, that they are almost as nauseated as a human being with any taste is nauseated by one of Rosie O'Donnell's so-called comedy routines!
 
Dorthy:....... I'M A CAT! I'M ONLY HERE BECAUSE MEWSIE WANTED ME TO BE! I'M NO ELF! I AM MIRACULOUSLY UNAFFECTED BY YOUR ELABORATELY STATED STINK-BOMB!
Caspian: Yeah, but it still smells bad.:p
Dorthy: *peeks out from under facemask* You fale bro, fale. And you know why you went to the dwarf side? 'cause you're short and you smell bad. Yep.
Caspian: :mad: *stomps off* Where is that science lab?!? You are all about to get an ed-e-cation on Caspian's fullproof weapons inventions.
Dorthy: Fullproof? HA! The only inventions of yours that haven't self-destructed the first time they were tested are the tomato cannon and the Secret Weapon.
Caspian: What about the Toaster?
Dorthy: Doesn't count 'cause you made it with Frodo.
Caspian: You are gonna pay sis. *goes into the dwarves lab to construct a new, evil weapon* *hangs sing on the door that says: "Explosions are normal, sorry if I collapse your tunnels."*
 
The baby only ate a sample.

Caspian, do you think we Dwarves don't keep track of what goes on in our tunnels? The laboratory you entered is only a dummy, a decoy. Once you are in it, a heavy-duty elevator lifts it to the surface, to dump you out into a big patch of poison ivy.

Meanwhile, as for the tomato cannon--bring it on! We need tomatoes for our new Dwarven salad bar.
 
Baby Elf: *eats entire biochemical weapon* *eats tomato cannon* *eats Dwarves' beards* *hugs GG*
 
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