What if I was....

If you were Glen Campbell, I would ask you why it was that you left your first wife to steal the wife of fellow singer Mac Davis, then broke up with her after stealing her, then took up with Tanya Tucker, and couldn't even stay together with her?? And if you called me "unforgiving," I would ask if you ever so much as made any kind of apology for your serial infidelity.



What if I were the above-mentioned Mac Davis?
 
I would go hear you sing in a concert.:p

What if I was a talking wolf that was accidentally transported to your neighborhood and needed your help to get back to Narnia?
 
I'd figure you were either wearing the Mashal Stone, the Ring or those watch-thingies from Battlestar.

what if I was maroned on an island and you were the only other person there and we had no food?
 
I'd put a gun to your head and force you around the country, making you take pictures of whatever I wanted you to.

What if I were a famous burglar (who still hadn't been captured)?
 
If you were Sherlock Holmes, I would tell you that marrying a woman would not necessarily ruin your life!--and that then you could pass your intellect on to another generation.


What if I were Allan Quatermain?
 
I would say, "Que es?" Then my roommate would tell me, "This is America. We speak English here, not Spanish or French. If you can't speak English, get out." And I would say, "What about the parts of America that were originally Spanish? Maybe I'm an original New Mexican." And she would say, "You sure don't look like one." And I would say, "So what if I've got the wrong color hair and eyes and the wrong skin shade? You shouldn't be so judgemental." And she would look at me like I'm weird, and she would be right. And I would go Google Allan Quatermain. And then I would say, "Oh! He's a literary character? My friend read that book once." The air conditioner would say, "___________." And I would ask, "What was that?" And my roommate would look at me like I'm weird and say, "I didn't tell you anything." And I would explain, "It was just the air conditioner talking--sorry." And my roommate would take my to a psychologist, and the psychologist would take me to a psychiatrist, who would cast me into a mental institution. The End.

What if I wrote a story in which I killed all the heroes and didn't post the ending?
 
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