You're Banned! II

Thou art banned, for thy statement is hideously incorrect from a spiritual standpoint, but since you're a tree, it's fine for you to have skewed understandings of life's meaning.
 
Thou hast backslidden from the Way of the Tongue! For shame! Thou leavest me no choice--I must thee ban. *bans*
 
I shall be no hypocrite--I ban thee not for friendship, but for thy denial of Treeness. For thou art our only Tree, and if thou perish, what shall the Duffers do? Yea, verily, we shall weep upon the Can, and the Can shall lose its shininess: for 'tis for thee that the Can doth shine, for it loveth thee.
 
It loseth its shininess if the Lawn loseth thee. For thy refusal to admit thy clear duty to the Can, thou art banned.
 
Thou art banned for guessing, and I do call upon GG to rid me of this octopus. Better him gone then that any should know I have one.
 
Thine octopus loveth thee, and shall not leave thee: and if the Gobbling Lady of Gondor doth make attempt to eat him, he shall drag thee with him, for he cannot bear to part with his beloved. (And thou art banned.)
 
Thou art banned, for few do. (unless they teeter on the verge of insanity) Homework consists of what you dislike, the leftovers; studies or (certain) subjects are the enjoyable part of learning.

Throws the octopus out the window.
 
How canst thou so rid thyself of the octopus that loves thee? Fie upon thee! He lieth out in the yard, his limbs splayed out, and the look of his countenance bespeaketh a broken heart. Cruel maiden, thou art banned.
 
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