APRIL FOOLS! Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black are Digory Kirke and Polly Plummer???

April 1, 2011 Daniel James April Fool's Day, Narnia Film News, NarniaFans.com, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader Movie News 126

In an unfortu-, I mean unforseen series of events, it has been reported to NarniaFans that two of today’s most popular teenage singers/actors have been signed on as actors in The Magician’s Nephew! Justin Bieber, possibly the greatest teenage heartthrob of all time, has been cast as Digory Kirke. As his loyal fans (loyal is an understatement) say: “Beiber is amazing, he is this generations Batch, Bathoven and Moesart!” Justin is reported to be extremely excited about this role; he is already practicing his lines by putting them to music. He will also be recording a single to be played in the credits of the movie; rumors are that the single is titled “Never Eat Apples.” (UPDATE-lyrics can be found at the bottom of this post!)

 

Joining Bieber is Rebecca Black, a young lady who has recently risen to instant fame with her hit single, “Friday.” Miss Black is signed on to play Polly Plummer. She is ecstatic that this announcement has been announced on a Friday, because Friday is her favorite day of the week. Her agent would not respond to our question asking why she is so fond of this particular day of the week. On a related topic: Rebecca is reported to have just become a teacher! She is teaching kindergarteners the months of the year.

 

 

This is possibly the greatest (albeit unforseen) decision ever made in the history of movie planning, at least in terms of publicity. And publicity is exactly what the Narnia franchise needs right now.  We of NarniaFans request that all Narnia fans around the world join hands together in public support of this decision; never say never to the planners at Walden Media and 20th Century Fox. We we we so excited! It’s going to be fun fun fun. We hope that U Smile about it just as much as we do!

Click on the picture below for more details. …Really, click on the picture. It just might radically alter the current state of life you are experiencing. 😉

 

UPDATE: We just just received part of the lyrics to Justin Bieber’s single for The Magician’s Nephew, “Never Eat Apples.”

 

You see I never thought that I would go to Narnia
I never thought that I would be the first
I never thought that I could talk to Aslan
Until he told me to go on a quest
–
And there’s just no turning back
When Jadis is on attack
Gonna go find that apple
It’s my destiny
–
I will never eat apples
I will only drink Snapples
Whenever apples fall down
I’ll let them lie on the ground
Leave ’em them, leave ’em there
leave ’em there, leave ’em there there there there
Never eat apples

UPDATED UPDATE: Alright folks, now that it’s April 2, it’s safe to officially say that this post was an April Fools joke. To the best of my knowledge, none of this is actually happening. No, y’all fans across don’t need to join hands in support of it (although it’d be great if you could do so in support of anything the Narnia franchise actually decides on any day besides April 1!). I hope y’all had as much fun reading it as I had writing it! And for those of you who commented that it was a mean joke: If it came across as mean, I apologize; I had no intentions of harming anyone when I wrote it. If you read it again, you’ll see that I don’t criticize anyone (to the best of my knowledge). While the two singers mentioned are not my favorite people, it doesn’t warrant calling them names or anything. I was simply having fun, and I’m really thankful to all of you out there who appreciated it (and I know that at least the bigger half of y’all did)! By the way, I will give y’all exclusive permission to use/reproduce my amazing, beautiful, autotuned, Narnia-nized version of Justin’s song: “Never Eat Apples.” =)

 

P.S. Did you guys hear that the U.N. has officially declared that April Fools’ Day is now banned? They’re worried that if some bad event (whether a natural disaster or a man-made event) happens on April 1, nobody believes it (there is historical precedent for this). So they’re abolishing April Fools’ Day!! Click HERE for more details and to see where you can petition against this unnecessary action.

 

 

Okay, if you can handle it, UPDATED UPDATE OF AN UPDATE: By popular demand, I’ve Narnia-nized Jaden Smith’s rap from Justin Bieber’s song “Never Say Never.”

 

Here we go
Guess who
D Kirke and W squared
uh huh
I got your ear, boy
I can handle her
Hold up, I, I can handle her
Now she’s bigger than me, taller than me,
and she’s older than me, and stronger than me,
And she’s a witch, so she has more power than me,
But she ain’t on Aslan’s side like me
I be tryna chill
She be tryna side with evil
No pun intended was defeated by the power of Will
Like Luke with the force if push comes to shove
Like Kobe in the fourth, ice water and blood
I gotta get that apple
and yes, I’ll be flying
Like Lewis and Clark
I’ll discover that garden
So now I got an apple in my hand
I was brought here by Aslan
By his side is where I’ll land
About Daniel James 31 Articles
First of all, I'm a Christian. Second, I love Narnia! I've been reading the books ever since I was little, and I've been following the Narnia fansites ever since the LWW movie came out. You might know me as The Bulgy Bear. I'm homeschooled, and I'm the oldest of five children.
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76 Comments

  2. oh wow!! April Fool’s everyone. I’m not going to lie but I got scared…

  3. SQUEEEEEE! Bieber is amaaaazing! He WAS SO AWESOME in CSI, waaaay better then that boring old dude from the Matrix movies ( like, ugh,seriously those films are from like a millions years ago. )

  4. Whaaaaaaat!!!!!!….noooooooooo……i really hope they don’t make it a musical…i am still getting this info in……..is this fully confirmed or is there still other actors in the line?????

    • Oh wait a second…Oh my God! I am such a fool.LOL it is a joke! BAHAHHAHAHA thats soooo funnnny! You sounded so sure that I believed you LOL! WOW I am sooo glad its not true! Narnia franchise would be ruin with some bieber singer! Besides he is totally out of my imagination of Digory(I’m sure with others too)..Now lets wait and see the real announcement of the characters!

  5. BLOODY HELL!!! I HATE JUSTIN BIEBER (well sorry for fans of bieber) please anyone can play Digory Kirke but Justine Bieber! Someine else is far better to Digory Kirke. Hope this statement isn’t finalized!

      • Justin bieber is a great performer but he is not good to play as Digory Kirke for he is can only play musical.

  7. Fully confirmed 😉 With these excellent picks, who cares if there were ever anyone else in the line? 😀 “Never eat Apples”… I just can’t wait for it!! 😀

  8. If it isn’t..heaven save us.. 🙁
    Ya’ll have really brilliant ideas on this particular day 😉 but I was fooled last year and I’m not gonna fall into the trap again 🙂

  9. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Dios nos libre de tener a este (seudo)actor en el reparto, si lo ponen a el o a miley cyrus juro que no vere esta pelicula ni pirateada, por mas que me guste narnia.

    lo que hacen por $$$.

  12. HAHAHA, guys.. April’s Fool? If this was true no one would go and see the movie. Good try guys!

  15. Funny!!! I laughed at this one.
    And the single “Never Eat Apples” was genius…:) Thanks for the laugh

  16. Ha, ha! I saw this link on FB and KNEW it was April fools! I didn’t have to click! 😀 LOLOLOL! NOT that I did click. I’m not gonna be accused of being THAT stupid… though I can be… ‘my name’s Hiccup’…

    LOL! That’d be awful! Besides, they haven’t even CONFIRMED officially MN 😀 But that’s funny! 😀

  17. No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!That movie is doomed. My life is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!Good one Narnia fans!

  20. ohhh no…
    I really dont like justin biber
    hope the some one be a digory but is not justin bieber

    Narnia is a movie for children

  22. Jajajaj…. uufff!!! que alivio que solo era una broma..!!! porque si era verdad quer el justin actuaba en la siguiente pelicula no la veia por nada del mundo….!!! y eso que aaaamo Narnia..!!! 🙂

  24. I am sorry to say but even being an April Fool’s joke done at the expense of two other people that is extremely low, no matter who they are. Please reconsider doing this type of joking… you can be far more creative. Even though it is April Fool’s day I am serious about this.

    • No where in the article is there criticism of either Justin Beiber or Rebecca Black. It was a play on emotions: as most of the fans are pensive about who will be chosen for leads, they would be extremely disappointed, no doubt a little angry as well, if these two were actually chosen for Digory and Polly respectively. Not as a dis towards them personally, but you must agree that neither of them fit the profile. Lighten up and enjoy the day =D

  25. Okay, i hope this is just a joke!! It isn’t funny. I can see them in a narnia film , but it is just wrong. I don’t think this is there thing at all. Sorry. On offense to the fans. Jsut plain crazy, i laughed when i saw this title.I would want to see this, it better be a joke and i am serious.

  27. Well, guys, you’ve really outdone yourselves this year. =)

    Just be careful, though…wasn’t it just a few years ago on this day that we were laughing about a Caspian/Susan romance (I think that was the same year as the Mr. T/Reepicheep rumor)? Don’t give the Narnia movie crews any more bright ideas. =)

    • I forgot about that until my sister reminded me this morning…then I Was Like “Baby, baby, baby, oh!” …just kidding, I was like, “Oh snap! I should have thought about that before posting this!”

      TO WALDEN MEDIA AND 20th CENTURY FOX: Please don’t actually do this…like, don’t even consider it. haha

    • oh man, now THAT’S a nasty thought…
      The worst part is, justin HAS acted before, so if he actually wanted the part, he COULD get it, even if it meant buying his way into it…..
      NOPE! That’s DEFINITELY not happening, he has bigger things to do and worry about, like whether or not his new haircut will help his image or something st- i mean, SUPER important like that. 😉

  28. lol This is truly hilarious!! 😀 Great one!
    Narnia Web has one about Rebecca Black playing Jadis and bullying Digory and Polly.

  30. Indeed?! Justin Bieber as Digory? 🙂
    Luckily it’s April 1st today. otherwise I would have been worried! 😉

      • Me, too! Justin Bieber? Seriously? No Way Hosea! I am looking forward to seeing who will really play Digory and Polly. This Book/Movie is important because it sets so much up for the following books. I hope they do a good job with this one! 🙂

  31. Oh YEAH! I can just see the box office ratings now!
    Can’t you just picture the credits now? silence, dark screen, then “Never eat apples, apples, apples… See I never thought that I could end up stranded, in another world where horses fly, I never that I could fly so high-igh, untill I reached that gate of no return… But there’s just no turning back when those tempting apples of wrath…”
    common guys, help me out here!

    • Haha I was trying to make lyrics about Narnia fit to the tune of Never Say Never yesterday while I was planning this post! I think yours are much better than what I came up with.

      But I did come up with some new lyrics today, and I added them to the post. Read it again and look for the part that says UPDATED at the bottom. =)

      • Yes, i love these, Daniel! I was having a TON of trouble makin up mine. The last time i read MN was, like FOREVER, but your lyrics are E-P-I-C! “I will only drink Snapples”?! HALARIOUS! Never Say Never is an awesome song to goof around with, especially with Narnia lyrics. The whole “destiny” and “being under attack” and “follow your heart and your dreams” is just perfect for Narnia 🙂
        Now to ruin “Friday”, which i have yet, and am afraid, to listen to. 😉

    • You have some talent there! 🙂 Keep it up.

      And it would surely boost box office results.
      As for artistic results, well who knows, the boy might be good. 😉 Perferably as Polly.

      • Oh man, I haven’t even STARTED working on Narniafying Jaden Smith’s rap yet! But thank you, you should hear my narnia verson of Fireflies by Owl City! “You would not belive your eyes/ if you stepped in a wardrobe and find/ another world where it’s never spring…”
        Seriously, though, i can sense a YouTube page dedicated to Narnia fans ruining pop songs!!! oh YEAH!
        But in all honesty, i’m a little scared. I keep hearing about how NarniaFans was joking about a Susan/Caspian romance and, well, we all know how THAT turned out. 😛 Talk about a “Bad Romance”….
        Haha, now i know which song i can Narniafy AFTER Never Say Never!

        • Alright, here’s Jaden’s rap part of “Never Say Never” Narnia-nized: (note, the first part is Digory talking about the WW)

          Here we go
          Guess who
          D Kirke and W squared
          uh huh
          I got your ear, boy
          I can handle her
          Hold up, I, I can handle her
          Now she’s bigger than me, taller than me,
          and she’s older than me, and stronger than me,
          And she’s a witch, so she has more power than me,
          But she ain’t on Aslan’s side like me
          I be tryna chill
          She be tryna side with evil
          No pun intended was defeated by the power of Will
          Like Luke with the force if push comes to shove
          Like Kobe in the fourth, ice water and blood
          I gotta get that apple
          and yes, I’ll be flying
          Like Lewis and Clark
          I’ll discover that garden
          So now I got an apple in my hand
          I was brought here by Aslan
          By his side is where I’ll land

          • AMAAAAAAAAAZING RAP!!!! I TOTALLY LOVE IT!!!!!! when i read it i was rapping, and i LOVE IT!!!! How bout u do the rap and i work on the song? We can be a BAND!!! lol, just kidding! but really, this is amazing! i LOVE THE END PART!!!! I NEVER would’ve thought of the White Witch!!!! If you don’t mind, I’m gonna save these lyrics and I’ll maybe “adapt” them and maybe even try to sing it on video in the end. just an idea 🙂 i love ruining good songs 😀

  32. Wow ! To say the truth, I got the fear of my life : Justin Bieber as Digory ! BEUHHH ! I would never see the movie. It would be a catastrophy for the Narnia films. Past and Future !

  33. I read the email, and was worried for a sec, but I’d just left the Lion’s… EEK forgive me the Duck’s Call, and so connected the dots… That would be such a downer, a definite must miss.

  34. TAKE OFF THIS POST FAAAAAAST, I know its just a joke but you know many people read this, we cant give bad ideas arround, even being a joke. In fact, if this guy would play it, franchise would be dead!

  35. ARE YOU KIDDING, REBECCA BLACK IS TERRIBLE! this will kill the movie completly omgsh D: i hope this is fake

  38. We have NEVER laughed so hard! Thanks for the new laugh lines! Awesome April fools joke! Just awesome!

  39. LOL I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS WOULD BE THE BEST CAST EVER HOW DO Y’ALL NOT GET IT

  42. I actually fell for that. I screamed, and thought Narni was well and truly ruined! Happy April Fools everybody!

  43. Guys didn’t we learn anything from the last several April Fool’s jokes. Do we really want walden thinking that this is a good idea?

    • Why? Don’t u want to see Justin in cute little wool sweaters and knee socks with a British accent? 😉

  46. i love how many people get scared 😀 !!!! thank goodness for april fools 😉

  47. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! PLEASE DON”T!!!! I HATE JUSTIN BIEBER!!! THEN THE WHOLE SERIE IS DESTROYED!!!!! DON’T LET IT BE SO!!!

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