Affectionate Fighting

I am NOT a bunny rabbit! See these endearingly short ears? See these marvelously modest short legs? See these elegant black and white stripes down my nose? Can anyone imagine me leaning against a tree trunk with one arm, chomping on a carrot and saying, "What's up, Doc??" I think not!

You're nothing but a ruthless altruist whose largesse is scattered all over town like so much litter! You have no alterior motives to speak of, and what nice things your friends ever say about you are nothing but self-effacing acts of utter agape, thrown in our face with many a snickering benediction.
 
Magister Badger, the indefatigable veracity of your innocuous testimonials for the metaphysically pulchritudinous Amanda proves your worthiness to be present on this auspicious occasion:


DING-DING-DING-DING!!!! We have a winner! You, Miss Amanda Bruiser, have posted the ONE -HUNDREDTH post on the Affectionate Fighting thread! Your prize will now be presented by your tireless opponent, your faithful and affectionate spiritual grandfather, Joseph "Copperfox" Ravitts!

(Copperfox steps forward with the air of one accustomed to public speaking, winks at his treasured spiritual granddaughter, and speaks.)

My astronomically-Gloved Amanda: in honor of this momentous occasion in the history of mushy flattery, but more in honor of you yourself, I now present you with.....CLEAN LIMERICKS!!!!

I'm proud to have battled Amanda,
Who is ten times as cute as a panda.
As a champion of Glove,
She should stand high above,
To be cheered at upon a veranda!

--ALSO:

There's a wonderful girl nicknamed Bruiser,
Who in Glove-battles can't be a loser.
If you need a true friend
You can fight to the end,
You could never do better than choose her!

 
There once was a Narnian Badger
So modest on being a badger
That his badgerly pride
Was retained deep inside
So he never brings up he's a badger

Well, do I get a cookie??
 
Badger - Now I can see that you are indeed the wise Badger that many look up to, instead of a mere bunny. Are you trying to confuse me with all of your million dollar words, hopeing that I trip and fall into your traps? Well I will walk with sure feet my dear Badger. Your elegent and expensive words will not trip me. Although, I will be putting a dictionary near the computer from now on. :p
One can see, dear Badger just from what you posted that you have a extensive vocabulary making you all the more wise. Makeing you a Mod was a smart choice for who ever did so. I know that the work of being a Mod is strenuous, alas you are able to conquer it none-the-less. Your incrediable patience is to blame for your wonderful works here. Weeding out those who destory your flower garden, the patience shows. You make all the other Badgers out there proud to call themselves Badgers.


Copperfox -
[Upon hearing the forever-special limericks that Copperfox had produced on my behalf of posting the one-hunderedth post Amanda blushes.]
You know that you didn't have to do anything uber-special like that for me. :D Though I am tickled-pink that you did.
Manda-panda. <3 I am called that only by a handful of people. It means more to me to be called that than Bruiser. Because Bruiser is a little harse-ish and I like to make a good first impression. lol.
[Amanda tenderly gugs her favorite Papa Joe. Thanks for everything.]
 
EveningStar said:
There once was a Narnian Badger
So modest on being a badger
That his badgerly pride
Was retained deep inside
So he never brings up he's a badger

Well, do I get a cookie??
Click to expand...

Of course you get a cookie. :] [Runs off to fetch homemade cookies for everyone. What's your favorite kind?]

Excuse my double posting. :eek:
 


(As soon as Amanda returns with the treat for the Badger, Papa Joe speaks again.)

So, Amanda, you've already been called Panda? I might have guessed, since you're so adorable. Actually, it's _pandas_ who should be flattered at being compared with _you!_

By the way, the _very_ first time you ever came to my attention (through your desire to be able to discuss the things of God without being scorned for it), I confess I thought that your nickname was intended to project a swaggering toughness. But soon I found out otherwise--not only by means of your siggy-quote, but by your touching way of making yourself open and vulnerable in personal discussions. I thus began Gloving you long before I even thought of the term "Glove" as a way of keeping our mutual affection distinct from anything inappropriate.

EveningStar, even though I don't think much of merely repeating the _same_ word as a rhyme, you nonetheless are about to get _more_ than a cookie. In the same spirit of helping the love between Amanda and me to remain in the G-rated realm of good fun where it belongs, I have a surprise for you AND her. Vortex, are you ready?

The helpful Gryphon from Joseph's tiger story swoops in, laden with a cargo of...chocolate and banana and strawberry cream pies! The Gryphon himself gently hurls two pies into the faces of Bruiser and EveningStar, then offloads the rest onto a table which somehow came to be there, grabs and eats two of Manda-Panda's cookies in return, and flies away with a shout of: "Help yourselves, and fling away!" Joseph then shows he's a good sport by _handing_ a pie to each of the other two, inviting them to hit him with them. (He does, however, cunningly make sure that the pies meant to hit him are two of the chocolate ones, his favorite flavor.)
 
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I wasn't called Manda-panda until the 8th grade, it was then that my favorite teacher started calling me that. He would also hit me upside the head everytime that he walked past me. :p He retired before the year was out though. :/

My other nickname, Bruiser, was given to me my second season of playing softball because during that season I got hit right above my left eye causeing it to swell shut and stay bruised for nine months. [Seriously.] After that [my dad thought that I would quit, haha, Not.] I started playing rougher, stopping anything that came my way. I wasn't scared at the least. Many times I would come off of the field supporting bruises on my shins. Thus adding to my nickname. It was said that if I didn't come off of the field with a bruise then I had caused someone off of the opposing team to have a bruise. I told you, it was brutal. lol. My name did help project toughness, yet, even the tough have weanesses.

[Here's you guys cookies. I made sugar, chocolate chip, and Snickerdoodle {my favorite} and they are all hot out of the oven. ^^]

o.0 Chocolate cream pies are my favorite too. :D
[After being so kindly covered in the pie that Vortex threw upon me, I scraped some of ot off of my face and tasted it. Of course it tasted wonderful, the best pie that I have ever had.]

Happily taking the chocolate cream pie that I was offered I tossed it back a Papa Joe, meaning no harm, only joy. Soon the whole area was covered with the various cream pie flavors.
 
Not one cookie gets wasted, either; when eaten virtually online, they can't put any lard on my belly (nor can the pies)! Between happy volleys of pastry, I also serve a beverage to the Panda and the Badger: one of my own homemade fruit-and-yogurt shakes from my kitchen blender.

As the caloric battle subsides with most of the ammunition consumed, the verbal combat resumes unabated.

Sweetest, gentlest, most excellent Manda-Panda, brightener of so many dull hours, maintainer of my good cheer, I hope you have seen by now, or will soon look at, what I posted in perfect seriousness for your benefit on the "Addictive Behaviors" thread. Setting aside the fact that I myself happened to be God's agent in helping you (a privilege and a satisfaction for me in itself, then rewarded besides by the precious gift of your pure-hearted Glove), your testimony there is valuable for its very confirmation that there CAN BE help for teenagers who have let themselves fall into that horrible trap. How glad I am that your life is better now! And May our Savior grant you the satisfaction of helping others out of spiritual traps.
 
Yum. Fruit-and-Yogurt shakes. This is the first time that I have ever had one. :]

Kindhearted, charitable, and benevolent Copperfox. I did see your latest post on the Addictive Thread. Thank you. My sister [by heart] and I both have overcomed the 'addictive behavior' mentioned now. She says that if it weren't for me then she would have been able to, but I, being modest, disagree. She was strong enough to do it herself, she just needed a little push. I helped her overcome her sadness, way before I even tried helping myself.

I try to help others also, just by listening if that is all that I can do. However I know that sometimes all one needs is someone who listens and understands.
 
AAAARRRRGGHH, it is _infuriating_ to see you being so compassionate and service-oriented! It makes me want to challenge you to a WAR OF (G)LOVE!!!!! Wait, that's right, we're _already_ waging that against each other. Well, pretend we weren't! Pretend that I only just now lost my temper over the provocation of your sweeter-than-honey spirit of kindness and generosity and courtesy. I challenge you to a still _more_ furious and merciless crossfire of raging mutual approval!!!
 
:p Yes dear we are already in a rageing battle of Glove. Alas, I will slip-up this time and pretend that this is the first time we have battled.


You Copperfox, yes I am talk to you. You are the most hospitable, benevolent, genial, amiable, cordial, companionate, neighborly, person that I am so fortunate to know and befriend. I am honored to call myself your Granddaughter.
 
Are you sure you realize what you're in for, kid? I warn you, this time it will be still more non-vicious and non-angry and non-spiteful! I intend to praise and applaud you and build you up in EVERY way I can think of that is proper and wholesome and civilized (maybe even UN-civilized ways, if they can still be wholesome)! And remember:

THE OUTCOME OF THIS BATTLE WILL DETERMINE THE OUTCOME OF THIS BATTLE!!!!!
 
:p:D I was going to say that in my next post.
THE OUTCOME OF THIS BATTLE WILL DETERMINE THE OUTCOME OF THIS BATTLE!!
Great minds think alike.


Yes I know what I am getting myself in, but do you know what you are getting _yourself_ in? You are willfully throwing yourself into a fierce, up-building of self-contentment and Glove towards others. Do you think that you are ready for that? I suggest that you prepare yourself, friend, for this go-round is going to be just as intense as the last.

Always remember: THE OUTCOME OF THIS BATTLE WILL DETERMINE THE OUTCOME OF THIS BATTLE!! ;]
 
Then once more into the breach, dear friend! I shoot at you cannonballs which turn into bouquets of tulips and carnations and peonies and lilacs, specially processed at Shortangel's secret greenhouse. Which reminds me: Shortangel asked me to pray for unspecified "struggles" she was undergoing. I then asked her if it would be okay to submit her prayer need here; I will take her silence as consent. Therefore, O favorite adversary and antagonist, please agree with me in prayer, even WHILE we fling explosive endearments at each other--prayer that God will deliver Shortangel from ALL trouble and harm, in Jesus' name, Amen! And of course our being prayer partners will only commit you and me still MORE to our opposite-of-bitter contest against each other!
 
During this lull in the action, if I were an Oprah Winfrey fan, I would write four or five posts about how much I admire, adore, adulate, applaud, cherish, esteem, exalt, favor, glorify, idolize, love, praise, revere and worship MYSELF....but somehow, after experiencing what it is to love someone OTHER THAN myself, self-deification just doesn't cut it.
 
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[Prays for out dear friend Shortangel with Copperfox. Then turns back to him and upon the rageing Battles. But first:]

How'd you know that I was a fan of tulips? They're up on the top of my list with lillys and roses. :D Plus I am glad that you are not apart of the 'Opera Revolution' or what ever it is that they are calling it. Because if you were then we would _both_ be missing out.

On to the War!

Dearest, fantasticly astounding, wonderfully magnanimous, incrediblely enchanting, marvelously altruistic, and fabulously benign Copperfox, my largehearted friend [cough. I mean nemesis.]. I ask you to follow me, for I have something to show you. [Copperfox willingly follows Amanda pondering on what it is that is so special that Amanda has paused the Battle to show him. If only he knew what was to come. The two _archenemies_ trudge through the enchanted forest that was created by Shortangel's plants. Around ten minutes later the _foes_ arrive in a clearing, in which Shortangel's secret greenhouse resides. The greenhouse was not like the usual greenhouses as we know them now. Instead of holding the plants and flowers in a glass building they are out in the opening. {The battles must be affecting them for them to be able to grow at a rate like they would in a greenhouse.} Amanda watched as amazement and admiration filled Copperfox's eyes. The 'greenhouse' was filled with countless butterflys rangeing of many different sizes, shapes, and colors. 'I thought that you would like it,' Amanda whispered, as she took his hand and lead him to the enchanting wonder of the greenhouse.]

It was this greenhouse that I visited last night in my dreams.
 
Copperfox had thought for a little while that Bruiser was chickening out of the war--or perhaps, gasp, had some actual responsibilities in the real world calling her away! But this renewed assault, with its paralyzingly pancreas-warming (that's our private joke) bombardment of butterflies, has him almost speechless as he remembers the countless times God has indeed used butterflies as tokens of solace. At last he remembers himself, and in an initial act of revengeful retaliation gently strokes the dear child's very pleasing brown hair before saying:

You intimidatingly magnanimous girl! This is fighting extra-dirty, being so kind and uplifting to me! Let me make sure you understand WHAT an act of war you've committed here, by telling you one example of "butterfly-signals" which I don't think I've related before on this forum. Some TDL people do know that, when I had lost Mary, God allowed her spirit to come to me one time in a dream, like the hero's dead wife coming to him in the movie "Braveheart." Well, the next day, when I told a Christian neighbor lady about this visitation, a deep blue butterfly--just like that one perching there to your right, Amanda--came flying straight toward me from the direction of one of Mary's garden plots, circled closely around me, and then flew back the way it came.

And there's more that connects with this! Long before Mary's cancer had even been diagnosed, she and I had bought a beautiful matted photo at an art show, meaning it as a gift for someone, then had misplaced it and NEVER thought of it again. I stress that this picture was NEVER on my mind all through Mary's cancer ordeal and her departure to Heaven. Only a couple of months after the visit from her spirit and the butterfly-flyby that punctuated it, did I find the forgotten photo again. It was a photo of BLUE BUTTERFLIES, just like the one I have described! God had had that picture waiting for about two years, for me to see it again at THAT time, for a sign that He had been planning all along how He would comfort me in my bereavement! And YOU, my priceless, treasured antagonist, have blessed me with a reminder of His mercies. What can I do that will constitute a sufficiently grateful punishment to you....?

At this point, Copperfox demonstrates again his skill at not letting the emotions get unsuitably intense. Unknown to all, he had kept one pie in reserve after the pie-fight, the most delicious pie of all. Suddenly revealing it now, he startles Amanda by faking a throw at her face, then laughs and says, "Let's just eat this!"
 
[Amanda flinches when Copperfox was fakeing the throw of pie at her. Laughing when she discovers that it was only a trick, her and Copperfox sit down next to the greenhouse garden and have their fill on the most delicious pie they have ever had. After they had had their fill, they both say marveling at the beauty of God's creation.]

:eek: I knew how much you loved butterflys, so I thought that this would be really special to you in many ways. Not only is the sight eye-pleasing to Copperfox, but also a blessing of comfort and reassurance to him, I knew this. I wouldn't say that I was fighting 'dirty' though. :p lol.

You have never revealed your story about the blue butterfly before, at least not to me. I do remember you telling somewhere about the painting that was lost then rediscovered, but you didn't go into as much detail. I think that it is amazing and out-of-this-world how God can bless someone and bring comfort to them just through a little butterfly.
 
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Okay, sweetest Amanda, just so no one forgets that we're supposed to be implacable and irreconcilable arch-enemies here, I'm going to fight still dirtier now: by comparing you to a Biblical heroine!

Are you familiar with the story from Genesis of how Rebekah came to marry Isaac? Although they were actually distant cousins, they had never met, owing to Isaac's father Abraham having migrated west before Rebekah was even born. But God had a plan to bring these two together, and it involved a man to whom I will presume to compare myself: Abraham's top-ranking servant, Eliezer.

Sent to his master's ancestral country with authorization to act independently in seeking a bride for Isaac, Eliezer prayed for God's guidance in finding just the right young woman. He met Rebekah at a well, and she behaved toward him with _exactly_ the best sort of friendliness: not saying or doing anything improper, but practicing kindness in giving water not only to him but also to his animals. In this way, _before_ finding out that Rebekah was a distant relative (which by the standards of the ancient world made her _more_ suitable as a bride), Eliezer knew that she was the one he was looking for. Her physical appearance was not the issue; her character was.

My highly Gloved Amanda, I don't really know what you look like, but our online interactions (combative and otherwise) have enabled me, like Eliezer, to see what an exquisitely magnificent _spirit_ you have. Thus I know that any young man God chooses for you to marry will be gaining a treasure that he'd BETTER have the sense to be humbly grateful for every day of his life! And I hope that I have done something to equip you to hold out for a real Isaac of your own. Low in self-respect as you say you have been in the past, it _might_ once have been possible for you to be tricked into an unhealthy relationship by some selfish boy who pretended to care but only wanted to use you. Now, however, I can dare to hope that MY enormous affection and appreciation for you have helped you to develop a proper understanding of your own value--not like Oprah Winfrey's pantheistic self-worship nonsense, but the kind of self-esteem God wants us to have, a self-esteem which does not make us arrogant. Now I can hope that you have an idea of what it's like to be treated like someone worthy and good--so that in your time you will know you have a right to demand that boys treat you that way.
 
While I've got my sweet enemy Amanda off-balance with spiritual seriousness, let me also riddle her with bullets of lighter-hearted, good-natured affirmation:

If Count Dracula met you, he would remember your comments on the Vampire thread, and he would immediately ask you to pray that Jesus would save him.

If the monster from "Cloverfield" met you, it would be instantly be tamed, and would ask to be allowed to make amends for its actions by helping to rebuild everything it wrecked.

If Star Trek's Klingons met you, they would all drop their weapons and ask you to recommend a church for them to start attending.

If Jadis the White Witch met you before Aslan was forced to kill her, she would voluntarily withdraw her curse from Narnia and surrender herself to Aslan.
 
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