Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Russell graciously agreed to give them their autographs, but unfortunately his hand writing was very sloppy to do a sore hand from excessive archery that day, which he wasn't used to in real life.
Meanwhile, the younger "Prince" Arthur from the "Merlin" series was busy collecting signatures for a petition to get the laid-off renaissance fair actors their jobs back. Unfortunately, he had no idea how the process worked, nor who to mail the petition to once he'd collected enough signatures!
 
Meanwhile, some actual medieval people had the inspiration to start a "Twenty-First Century Festival," featuring such exotic (to them) items as telephones and microwave ovens.
 
A good long time before this role play began, Aragorn was a ranger living in the wild and hunting evil wherever it was. This is his story...

Aragorn had been following the set of foot prints for about an hour, when suddenly he found himself face to face with Angelina Jolie! The creepy actress started walking towards Aragorn with intent to seduce him, but she forgot he was carrying a sword, so he cut her head off. Then Brad Pitt who had finished his metamorphosis into an uruk-hai came running towards Aragorn with a machete in his hand, but Aragorn swiftly cut him in two. So Aragorn killed both vile monsters.
 
Jennifer Aniston showed up and kissed Prince Arthur passionately.

Meanwhile, a gunslinger hero came riding out of a Louis L'Amour Western novel. The hero's name was Lance Kilkenny; but the author's choice of his last name had NOTHING to do with the repeated deaths and regenerations of the character Kenny in "South Park." Accordingly, when Lance Kilkenny rode into the actual town of South Park, Colorado, he shot and killed all of the obnoxious cartoon characters EXCEPT Kenny.
 
Merlin's jaw dropped, he then started looking for clues to prove Jennifer Aniston was evil like most of the other girls who behaved romantically towards Arthur.

Unfortunately, Cartman was still alive, so he started shouting, "You can't kill me! I'm the main character! RESPECT MY AUTHORI-!" An arrow from Robin Hood's bow silenced the obnoxious cartoon character.
And there was much rejoicing.
 
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Prince Arthur, being the somewhat degraded character that he is in the Merlin television series, was enjoying the attention from Miss Aniston despite the fact he had absolutely no idea who she was. Unfortunately, he'd forgot all about the episode where he was put under the spell of an evil fae girl, so he didn't suspect a thing when Jennifer began speaking French-like magic words to him which sounded something like, "Toodge-mon Flixure." Thus young Arthur was now under a hypnotic trance as Jennifer Aniston led him deep into the forest.

MEANWHILE...
 
Merlin is doing something stupid. Lady obvioiuslymagical has come to visit and has some kind of plot related thing that causes Merlin to do something stupid that could reveal he has magic....
 
Whoopi Goldberg began one of her supposedly clever standup-comedy routines. Its language was so foul that only this much of it can be printed on a family-friendly forum:

"The _______ ______ ________ ________ ________ _________ on my ________ _______ _________ ________ _________ _________ because _________ _________ _________ _________ in the _______ ________ ________ _______ ______________ ______ ______ ______ _________ to his _______ ________ _______ _________ ________ _________ _________ ________ with a _______ ________ _______ ________ ______ ________ you!"

Fortunately, some Star Trek Borg found her, mistook her for her character of Guinan, and assimilated her.
 
As the Borg ship flew over, Whoopi Goldberg fell out of it and landed on Jennifer Aniston, the impact causing Arthur to awaken from his stupor. He took one look at Whoopi and ran for his life, screaming that he'd just seen a troll in the woods.
 
Then, Whoopi turned into Lady Obviously Magical, who was whoopi the whole time, and she found Arthur and he falls for her for no other reason, but the fact he always does.
 
Bill Clinton was lost in the woods, when he stumbled upon a band of brigands sitting around a campfire. He heard one of them say something about "large women," so he rushed into the campsite and excitedly said, "Did someone say large women?!"
No one ever saw Bill Clinton again.
 
The historian who got killed in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" was not quite dead after all. He now appeared and said: "Recent writers adapting the Arthurian legend always think they have to adjust female names. The famous witch character was named simply M-O-R-G-A-N, with no A at the end. 'Morgan' WAS a female name in olden times. But as for that, even having her be evil is itself a revision. In the EARLIEST forms of the Arthurian epic, Morgan was actually ON ARTHUR'S SIDE."
 
Tom, the teenage boy who has been typing much of the Arthurian related comedy here, was listening to the historian, and was quite surprised! He said, "I had no idea! Are you sure this is accurate? In every book I'd read, Morgan(a?) was always evil, and ironically the newest books I have omit the "A" from the name, whereas my old victorian era book keeps the extra A at the end of 'Morgana.'"
 
Dorothy Gale slips by the Professor, and slips him Aragon's sword in the gut, before humming something about gummi bears and lolly pops.
Disney lawyers comes and drag him away.
 
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