Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

WarriorSatyr said:
A number of fictional characters including, but not limited to Arwen Undomiel, Mina Harker, Clara Oswald, Eowyn, Annabeth Chase, Lucy Pevensie, Leia Organa Solo, Romanadvoratrelundar, and Sarah Jane Smith (all I could think of) also wished to hear more about this.
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"Well, I stick my tongue out farther than any of you do!" Miley Cyrus exclaimed triumphantly, and demonstrated.
 
Then Scutt Farkus from A Christmas Story, Biff from Back to the Future, and Johnny Lawrence from the Original Karate Kid quadruple dog-dared Miley to lick a frozen poll in the middle of winter.

Miley accepted their challenge.
 
She quickly found this to be incorrect. The Harlequin took pity on her and poured warm water on the pole to unstick her. Then he covered her in his cloak, which she nearly rejected because it was motley, and sent her home with the promise to pray for her.

...

Sorry to spoil the fun, but Miley Cyrus does need prayers. She was raised terribly and I feel sorry for her.
 
No need to apologize; I have prayed for Miley many times. I have also prayed for the people who make the "SHIELD" series, even as I poke deserved fun at their show.
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Meanwhile, Abraham Lincoln in his Vampire Hunter identity began hunting for less well-known monsters, like the Louisiana swamp-boogeyman called Par-Mal-Fait ("Fait" pronounced like English "Fay").
 
Marvel's Blade character began following him, hoping that he might be led to Dracula. 'Why did he wish to be led to Dracula?' you may ask. It was because, rather than try to destroy him, as usual, he was going to try and enlist the Count's help in destroying all the glittering, so-called 'sexy' vampires that were destroying the Nightstalkers' good names.
 
When approached by Blade, Dracula suddenly remembered some trace of his own forgotten humanity. Once, as Prince Vlad Drakul, he HAD cared for something besides himself; he had been a patriot, fighting to protect his country from invaders.
 
In a rage he joined the Vampire hunters in hunting down the sexy brooding teen angst vampires. They chased them down and the vampires ran right in the cross fire of an archery contest being held by Green Arrow, Hawkeye of the Avengers, Russell Crow, Robin Hood, Kevin Costner Robin Hood, Errol Flynn Robin Hood, Disney animated Robin Hood ( The Fox), Legolas, Tauriel, Lucy Pevensie ( who according to HHB as we all know was one of the best archers), and Katniss Everdeen.
 
Meanwhile, Captain Obvious decided to pay a visit to Fox McCloud in Corneria, although there was no obvious way to make it to a different galaxy by ship. And Captan Obvious ship, the SS Derelict had no crew, and he needed to get one first. He already had enlisted two crew members, Super Duper Man and Footylumpkins the Weasel, but unfortunately their competence to man a space ship and ability to withstand space travel was questionable at best.
 
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Seventy-four barely-teenage girls riding on horses, every one of them having a lonely secret quest which was FAR more important than the quests of the other girls (or so each of them said), rode up to the spaceport, and each one claimed that SHE was the perfect pilot for Captain Obvious' starship.
 
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Captain Obvious was about to chose the one girl who claimed to have an invincible plasma sword when the others complained and said in unison "What about us? We each have TWO invincible plasma swords!"
 
Several of these would-be princesses even had _three_ plasma swords apiece, but they _said_ two because they didn't know how to count as high as three.
 
Footylumpkins proposed that they choose the girl with five invincible plasma swords and held up his paw with his four claws extended so that the girls could try to count and see that he meant five. All the girls said they each had five swords and held up their hands with four fingers extended to show that they understood it was five.
 
The heavy concentration of invincible plasma swords formed a nuclear critical mass, causing the entire universe to explode until it came back in the next post.
 
All the girls glared at Harlequin and said that they each were on a secret quest and and that somewhere, somehow, their secret quest involved a spaceship, even one called Derelict.

While this was going on, in a secret hideout somewhere in the Caribbean, Smerdyakov the evil purple duck heard that Captain Obvious was looking for crewmen for his spaceship. Since Captain Obvious once had confused him with his good twin Dimitry, Smerdyakov figured that the Captain owed him big and he decided that he was going to collect now. He gathered a few of his best Mafiya goons and told themof his plan to ask Obvious for the security team position, of which he would be the boss... er... chief. All the goons agreed that this was a good idea as long as they were not issued red shirts.
 
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Smerdyakov quietly re-sold a batch of red shirts he had bought.

Meanwhile, Grey Eagle answered Harlequin's question:

"Several years ago, this roleplay-zone was swarming with teen-to-college-age females who felt that, if they were NOT allowed to be more omnipotent than God, this meant they were being chained in the kitchen barefoot. Plasma swords, in the nuclear-particle sense of the word 'plasma,' being a counterpart of light sabers, became an emblem of the invincible super-duper-ness which these girls insisted was their guaranteed MINIMUM entitlement. One such girl was famed for insisting that LUCY Pevensie should be capable of beating up on PETER Pevensie in a fight."
 
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