Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

The Harlequin scratched his head again. "That doesn't make much sense," he said. "So, that's the sort of thing we're trying to fight? Or rather- make fun of?"
 
"Well, make fun of, anyway," said Grey Eagle. "But not too cruelly. We shouldn't be quick to _fight_ it, because more than one _motive_ exists for this over-the-top girl-power fixation. Some girls just like the idea of being tough, so let them be tough, no harm done. Other girls feel a need to _seem_ tough, because things in life have hurt them, and they don't want to show their grief or fear; to these, we must practice patience and compassion. And then there are girls who _haven't_ been abused at all; they want to bully others because they're _selfish;_ for these, it's a pie in the face."
 
Copperfox said:
One such girl was famed for insisting that LUCY Pevensie should be capable of beating up on PETER Pevensie in a fight."
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The same such girl, in a different roleplay, declared that her character did not actually need a plasma sword since she was able to control ALL PLASMA with her mind (and with a wave of her hands, just to be sure), even the plasma in the human blood. When told that the two were completely different things that only happened to share the same name and therefore it made no sense for her character to be able to do this, it only caused her character to suddenly discover she had powers to control the blood of any being, human or otherwise, and this took care of that minor inconvenience.

Meanwhile, Captain Obvious was still looking for suitable crew members for his crazy quest.
 
When the boastful girl's hand gestures drained all the purple pigment out of Smerdyakov's feathers, Smerdyakov threw a lemon cream pie in her face.

Meanwhile, an obscure space pilot named Quark, from a very short-lived TV series of the same name, offered to sign on with Captain Obvious.
 
Quark from Star Trek Deep Space Nine also signed on to serve as the ships financier. In classic grade school fashion, he and the other Quark became best friends because they had the same name.

Meanwhile, Green Arrow took it upon himself to call Grey Eagle and see if he wished to judge or even take part in the archery contest. The sparkly vampires were all standing in the right spot to serve as targets having been told that if they stand perfectly still an army of idiotic teen girls who are in serious need of better role models will come to them.
 
Grey Eagle whispered to Green Arrow: "What I want to do is not exactly judge the archers, but CAUSE ALL OF THEM TO MAKE PERFECT HITS, by telekinetically locking the sexy vampires in place, not letting them dodge."
 
"Sounds good to me," said Green Arrow. " Me and Hawkeye's high-tech trick arrows can only do so much. But Legolas wants to know if Gimli can nudge him a little so he can shoot one vampire in the eye."
 
Gimli even had an axe forged of silver and mithril just for the occasion.

And so the contest was on....each archer notched up an arrow in their bow and pulled back on the string.
 
Then with a sharp twang the arrows flew and hit their intended targets. It was on the second volley that Gimli got to give Legolas a nudge and shot an arrow into a vampire's eye. At least two of Hawkeye's arrows were the explosive tipped ones he used on Loki, which had their intended results. Much to say the exploding vampires sparkly looked kind of like snow.
 
The onlooking Jacob Black was joined by Sam Uley. The two of them assumed wolf-shape, and quickly devoured enough pieces of the shattered vampires, brains included, that the vampires would not be able to reconstitute themselves.

Just a few sparkly vampires, like Alice and Carlisle, had been exempted from this whole operation, since they conscientiously did not prey upon people.
 
Copperfox said:
The onlooking Jacob Black was joined by Sam Uley. The two of them assumed wolf-shape, and quickly devoured enough pieces of the shattered vampires, brains included, that the vampires would not be able to reconstitute themselves.
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Or at least until the RPGers in this thread think up some other fun ways to kill the off.

Meanwhile, Bella's dad had gone in search of her. he had heard she came back to life and was still awaiting...whatever monster she was in love with. However she had now set her eyes on Darth Maul. Maul was annoyed by her presence and begged Darth Sideous to get rid of her.

"Please master, get rid of her!"

Sideous just said, "Sorry, bro. You're on your own."

"Obi-Wan!" said Darth Maul. "Qui-Gon! I'll become a good guy if you get rid of Bella for me!"
 
So Qui-Gon came back to life and used Jedi mind-power to send Bella off after Kanye West instead. At the same time, he and Obi-Wan conferred enough Jedi power upon Kim Kardashian that she would be able to defend herself if Bella turned violent in the attempt to claim Kanye.
 
This left Kim Kardashian still having major Jedi powers. So she used them to force Kanye West to do all the cooking and cleaning.
 
And changing his own babies diaper instead of having a nanny do it. She also used her powers to cancel her mother's lame talk show.

Meanwhile Kahn told Bella, " You think you can throw yourself at any dangerous villain and some how by the feeble power of your love, transform him? This is a comforting lie, one you told yourself in your lonely delusions while reading insipid romance novels. In truth you have been seeking the approval of any man who would come your way, do to your father's inability to do so. My love is only for my crew, for they are my family. However, I shall leave you with a parting gift. "

With that he put one of those mind control bugs in her ear and convinced her to go play in a leaky warp-core and a doomed star ship.
 
Quark from Star Trek would be a good choice as the Finance Officer on board the Derelict, as it was obvious to Captain Obvious that they would need someone with his "trading" skills to deal with other species they were bound to meet in their travels and procure the necessary supplies at minimal cost to the Captain and the crew. The other Quark from the TV series was not really a good choice because he wanted to bring the "Betties" complete with their.... er... incomplete wardrobe and that would probably cause a nuisance with the crew, to say the least.
 
Meanwhile, the movie version of Kili the Dwarf hired a lawyer. He wanted to sue Peter Jackson for NOT allowing any of the Elves in the second movie to notice that he, Kili, had actually contributed to defeating the Orcs in the running battle along the river.
 
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