Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

Here it was pointed out that only Barney was actually responsible for any damage, as Godzilla has never been shown to be anything but an animal, whereas Barney seems to be able to think semi-rationally.

The Prince instantly began saying that Godzilla had the right to destroy /as much/ of the city as it /wanted/, because people had destroyed its natural habitat by building the city anyway.
 
Several Japanese scholars (this is for real!) sided with the politically-correct Prince, pointing to articles and at least one book which had been published in Japan over the years, arguing that Gojira (=Godzilla) was an environmental activist.
 
But, a rift in the fiction universes opened up and allowed some of Crichton's "Jurassic Park" along with Doyle's "Lost World" material to absorb itself into this chaotic universe. This allowed a real tyrannosaurus to appear on the scene and slay Barney and Godzilla. The dinosaur then dove into the sea and swam back toward South America in hopes of reaching his home in the Amazon. Excited Japanese children waved and cheered as they watched the dinosaur who had saved what was left of their city swim away.

Meanwhile, Arroman and Lois were watching the dinosaurs of Isla Sorna while riding a griffin over the island.
 
Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) said, "Calm down, Alan! Just call it a mammal, like they did with the platypus. Or if you like the feathered parts better, you can call it a bird too. I for one choose to call it a 'mammabird'."
 
A retro band performing surfer music from the early Sixties caught on to this, and recorded a song parody called "The Surfin' Mammabird."
 
Meanwhile the newly reformed teenyboppers had completed their discussion on Plato and Orestes, and moved on to comparingaand contrasting the depiction of late 18th early 19th century France in Victor Hugo's Les Miserlables with that of Charles Dickens a Tale of Two Cities and Baroness Orczy's The Scarlett Pimpernell. In French.

Upon seeing the sucess with the teenyboppers, Green Arrow and Hawkeye decided to try the non-lethal antistupidity arrows on the education beuarcrats that came up with the Common Core Curriculum.
 
The character of Elwin Ransom from Lewis' Space Trilogy turned up and told the archers: "Here's an idea that worked for me on the alternate-reality version of the planet Mars. Get the bad guys to say in _their_ preferred wording what it is that they want to do, then _translate_ what they say into the _reality_ of what it means, thus _discrediting_ them in the sight of others."

Professor Ransom went and persuaded one of the education-destroyers to come back with him and meet the archers. "Now," said Ransom to the scoundrel, "please tell my friends here something about the purpose of Common Core curriculum."

"Very well," replied the dubious academician. "Maybe this will get me some air time on public television." He faced the archers....

"In view of the bigotry of primitives who hate everyone who's different from them, we intend to use education to create human unity."

Ransom nodded, then said to the archers: "Now, what he _meant_ by those words is that he and his comrades _consider_ it "hate" if anyone questions their agenda in the slightest, and that they intend to teach all subjects in such a selective way that children won't realize that there even _could_ be any interpretation of reality which _isn't_ the same as the interpretation desired by these, um, experts."
 
A group who had first joined the profession, hoping to make a difference and educate children, only to end up frazzeled, jaded, and cynical about their very profession due to the Common Core Curriculm, Standarized tests, and having their hands tied when it came to calss room disipline, raised a question,

"But the entire curriculum doesn't make any sense! We spend more time teaching to tests not to students!"
 
Sven-El said:
A group who had first joined the profession, hoping to make a difference and educate children, only to end up frazzeled, jaded, and cynical about their very profession due to the Common Core Curriculm, Standarized tests, and having their hands tied when it came to calss room disipline, raised a question,

"But the entire curriculum doesn't make any sense! We spend more time teaching to tests not to students!"
Click to expand...


"A far more legitimate 'core' concept," observed Elwin Ransom, "would be to make sure of core SKILLS, notably grammar and arithmetic, followed by core FACTS, like the basic divisions of biology."

"What?" squawked the pseudo-educator. "You sound as if you want the children to be able to THINK AND REASON!"
 
To which Ransom translated to the teachers, "The kids are stupid and need to be spoonfeed every bit of information they come across. Although if you can't understand the curriculum, perhaps you yourselves are stupid. For my brain is very big, but yours is small."
 
Grey Eagle suddenly recognized one of the bystanders as a vampire version of academic radical John Dewey, who had written (and Grey Eagle had read this) that he DIDN'T WANT children to have knowledge and skills, he wanted them above all to be obedient to the government.

The superhero ordered the vampire to surrender himself and accept correction, but Dewey refused. So Grey Eagle used his firestarting power to burn the Vampire John Dewey to ashes.
 
Meanwhile in Russia... Legolas was attempting to enter the Winter Olympics on short notice for every competition this year. He was turned down for two big reasons: You can't enter on such short notice, and the athletic skills he'd been given in the films would make him ridiculously unfair to compete against. And on top of those two, he didn't even have a registered country to compete for!
 
Captain Obvious was in a good mood today having just hired two of the most awesome (in his eyes) and fearless pair of characters to serve as pilot and navigator of the Derelict: Lone Star and Barf the Mog. It seemed that Obvious' crew was already taking shape and he needed only a few more members, especially a first mate. Some poor demented soul cared to mentioned Captain Sparrow as his first mate but even Obvious detested his fumbling idiotic and alcoholic personality. The poor soul who gave the suggestion was made to walk the plank even before he had finished talking.
 
Sir Tom the Dragon Knight said:
Meanwhile in Russia... Legolas was attempting to enter the Winter Olympics on short notice for every competition this year. He was turned down for two big reasons: You can't enter on such short notice, and the athletic skills he'd been given in the films would make him ridiculously unfair to compete against. And on top of those two, he didn't even have a registered country to compete for!
Click to expand...

Legolas pulled out a Map of Middle-Earth. Since it was supposed to be a prehistory of our Earth he layde it side by side with a current map.

'See, if we look at this, Mirkwood should be somewhere near the Black Forest which places me in modern day Germany. So, ergo, I can compete. I would like to snowboard."
 
Then someone pointed out how Gimli, in the Two Towers movie, had started out flat on his back, yet had lifted off of himself a dead Warg heavier than he was. Gimli soon was recruited for the next SUMMER Olympics, as a weightlifter in the Dwarvish weight class.

As part of his training, Gimli hauled out of the sea the fool who had suggested Captain Sparrow for the crew of the Derelict.
 
Based on their dialect, taste in food, language, and the possible location of The Lonely Mountain, the dwarves decided they were going to represent Ukraine and laid claims to being from the Carpathian Mountains. The Elves of Lothorien decided to represent Switzerland, with the men of Rohan representing Norway, and the Men of Gondor representing Italy. The Hobbits however chose to represent the UK.

At the mention of Eastern Europe, the reformed tends soon began having a lively discussion on the works of Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky and invited Grey Eagle to take part in a discussion on the complexities and intricacies of the Cyrillic alphabet.
 
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