Attention-Deficit Roleplaying

"Drats! Said Frodo. "None of us decided to be Canadian!"

"Actually," said Gandalf. "Sense my race comes from the West we could be from Canada."
"Yes, indeed, eh?" asked Radagast.
 
Sven-El said:
At the mention of Eastern Europe, the reformed teens soon began having a lively discussion on the works of Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky, and invited Grey Eagle to take part in a discussion on the complexities and intricacies of the Cyrillic alphabet.
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Grey Eagle told them that he found it particularly interesting that the Cyrillic alphabet had two letters which DIDN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SOUND THEMSELVES; these two letters, known as "hard sign" and "soft sign," existed only to make subtle changes in the sounds of consonants they appeared with.
 
The Elves of Lindon showed up to play for Ireland, and the Dunedain of Arnor for Scotland. All these middle-earth races prompted Vladimir Putin to suggest a "Middle-Earth Olympics" in autumn, meant solely for the nations of Middle-Earth to participate in.
 
Mister Putin quietly instructed one of his secretaries to destroy or conceal all copies of the Russian-dubbed version of the L.O.T.R. movies, in which the good guys had been made to say that Sauron's evil was all about private enterprise.
 
SO the International Middle-earth Olympics committee ( IMEOC) instead decided to hold there games in where else....New Zealand!
 
Clovis, a dancing chihuahua quickly signed up to be a part of this entertainment. For this purpose he grew up a beard so as to pass off as a dwarf and not be treated as a dog.
 
Miley Cyrus insisted that she should be the headline act for this entertainment. But Doctor Who saved the day, by telling Miley that his TARDIS was her dressing room. Once she was on board, the Doctor transported her to the planet Skaaro to entertain the Daleks. The Daleks all died of nausea.
 
Instead they got Howard Shore to compose some original music for the festivities and Weta Digital to supply some of their technical wizardry for the opening ceremonies.

Gollum wanted to compete but wasn't sure which country to represent. His Sméagol half wanted to be The US while Gollum wanted to be Mexico. The Gollum side one out because he actually liked something for once...wearing sombreros and eating chimichangas.
 
The Cisco Kid saw the Mexicanized Gollum, and declared, "This is making Mexico look bad! Let's see, how can I counterbalance this?" Up came author O. Henry, who had originally created the character of the Cisco Kid for his short story "The Caballero's Way," and said to Cisco:

"You forgot this because you were enjoying being a hero; but when I first made you up, you were neither a good guy, nor a Mexican. You were a vicious, cruel bandit from the United States."

Cisco raised his eyebrows. "Ah, so if I revert back to a gringo villain for as long as Gollum is playing at being Mexican--?"

"Exactly; you'll prevent this Yankee-versus-Mexican thing from being too one-sided."

"All right, I'll do it. But, um, I will be able to change back to a good guy eventually, won't I?"

"Of course! Just like television wrestlers; they switch back and forth all the time between good guy and bad guy."

Cisco nodded. "And Mexicans love los luchadores."
 
Gollum/Sméagol was enjoying this new role so much, he decided to call himself...
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The temporarily-evil and temporarily-Anglo Cisco Kid staged a raid, stealing all the sombreros in town, to make it impossible for anyone to perform a proper hat dance.
 
It didn't matter to Gollum as he learned to master every other dance known to man so well that he was asked to be on Dancing with the Stars .he was overjoyed until he learned he would be partnered with the last person he thought he'd see again....

Bella Swan.
 
But the judges looked up a rule which said that no contestant was allowed to have an IQ in negative numbers. Bella had an IQ of _negative_ ten billion, so she was disqualified.
 
She would have tried to call a lawyer to file an appeal but when she tried she handed the lawyer a banana peal and an orange peal, thinking that is what it meant.

Then Gollum dropped a phonebook for Tokyo ( the most populous city in the world) on her head. She wasn't dead yet so he dropped phone books for Dehli, India and New York, NY on her too.
 
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So Gollum printed up the phone listings for every single person living in China ,bound it up, and dropped it on Bella's head. For extra measure he printed the listings on one side of the page.
 
About this time, the heroine of "Divergent" felt awfully alone, being a special person whom no one understood. After all, NO ONE ELSE EVER BEFORE had been in a story about being special and not being understood. :rolleyes:
 
Clark Kent, Steve Rogers,Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, Peter Parker, every.single.member.of.the.X-Men, Neo, Elsa from Frozen, Perseus, Hercules, Theseus, and every other hero who came before said,

"Excuse us?"

Meanwhile Joe the Orc from several posts back was growing tried of eating man flesh, elf flesh, and dwarf flesh and announced to his Orc kin,

"I want to become a vegetarian. I love the taste of salad. I also don't want to rampage, pillage, or kill anymore .I want to be a painter and dance ballet."
 
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