Corrupt a Wish Game (Please Do Not Delete)

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Granted, but you die without your daily dose of Dufferland. You suddenly realize that you're a ghost. You go and try to haunt somebody, but they can't see or hear you, so it doesn't do much good. The only thing that can see and hear you is Dernhelm's Black Hole. Thankful that at last SOMETHING can communicate with you, you go and try to talk to it. But it's been feeling hungry lately...

I wish for a chunk.
 
Granted. Unfortunately for you, the cellphone has an evil mind of its own (doubtless instilled in it by the crazy guys at BestBuy), and as soon as you try to make a phone call it crawls out of your hand and eats your ear. Finding the taste to its liking, it settles down for a long feast...

I wish for a... a... ah... ah.. ACHOO!
 
granted but you "ACHOO" about a million times and die since you have no breath
i wish that i could think of a wish
 
Granted, but you wish the shiny trash can would die. You are invaded by millions of duffers who try to spear you. You manage to escape and run down the highway. It is rainy, cloudy and stormy. Suddenly the sun comes up. Everything shines in its light, even your evil, dark soul. You look up to the sky and think "Thank heavens". But as you look up, you are blinded so much that you have to close your eyes. It is not the sunshine... the sun coud never be as radiant... it is the shiny trash can itself come to kill you. You fall down on your knees and cry: "Have mercy on me, oh shiniest of trash cans!"
"I am the trashiest of shiny cans you dork" cometh the reply from above.
"Sorry, I forgot. Please, shiny trash can, I will never wish for your death again. I will wish you had cancer or the flu, but I promise..."
"YOu are forgiven. But from now on you cannot post in dufferland any longer. I can't bear your sight" says the can. NOW your wish is really corrupted. Hehe.

I wish I was the shiny trash can.
 
Granted, but all the Duffers found out you were an impostor. They attempted to kill you, in order to bring back the original can, but you managed to escape from them... until Dernhelm caught up with you. "HOW DARE YOU ATTEMPT TO TAKE THE PLACE OF THE CAN!!?" She cried, and ran you through with the sword in her Knight of the Order of the Can banner.

I wish I could think of a better corruption than that... that one's no good at all. :(
 
Granted, instead of glasses, the eye doctor gives you giant contact lenses which you can barely squeeze into your eyes. Whenever you finally DO manage to get them in, your eyes are permanently red and everybody thinks that you've been crying. You spend the rest of your life being comforted by anybody who sees you.

I wish that I had 6 legs.
 
granted, but you get bankrupt because now you permanently have to buy three pairs of shoes, three pairs of jeans, three pairs of socks etc. etc. And they tend to start kicking each other in places like church or in the library.

I wish I was back in the padded cell.
 
granted but some mean person has put bricks into the padded bits so that you hert yourself. you then end up going around and shouting about the mean padded cell. (you are mental of course which is hwy you were in a padded cell). so the men in white coats take you away and put you into a white padded cell which you also hate becuse the gleam of the white herts your eyes...

i wish life was simple...
 
granted, but it is so simple that it bores you to death. you ask yourself: "why don't i have problems?" a voice comes from beneath you: "eh... sorry, eh, you there, you're standing on my foot!"

i wish people would help each other out more.
 
Granted. However, most peoples' idea of helping each other out is to put each other in padded cells. They put you in a padded cell... but someone has enlarged the padding while you weren't looking, and it's soft... and deep... and you're sinking... sinking...

I wish I wasn't so tired.
 
Granted. You're hyper and run around screaming until the men in the white coats come and put you in a padded cell (they think it's empty but actually its inhabitant has only sunk very, very deep.......... and you begin sinking to...

I wish I could get out of the stupid padding.
 
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