Duffer Boot Camp!

WarriorSatyr said:
Oh, my Can! GG is working with the DLR! It's exactly as I predicted. Now that she has swallowed the Faction Paradox, she will travel back in time and sign up for TDL as MorgothLuver. From there, her rapacious hunger will evolve into a horrific thing. She will slowly lose the ability to speak and take up residence behind the refrigerator, thus becoming the DLF. QED.
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*eats* Why does that sound weirdly likely?

Miss Freckles said:
Are you suggesting time travel? Because the DLF has existed for several years now...
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*Eats MF* Yeah I do time travel all the time actually.

WarriorSatyr said:
I did indeed suggest time travel.

I also quoted myself. Quoteception...
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*Eats quoteception*
 
It just occurred to me...that if the DLF is really a corrupted GG, sent back in time...then GG should not be an enemy of the DLR, because it exists mainly to support her. In that case--

sf;lkajdkl;fjkl;asdjgl;khafdguiop haoieropajkl;jdkl;jfdslajfslkd;jl;adsjhfgiuopehriuohrejknv

Glen has been removed. She called the DLF "corrupted," and such blasphemy will not be tolerated. Ever.
 
I should have thought it would be rather a compliment to you... So if you're averse to being called corrupt, you're not beyond saving. We will simply point out where you went wrong and wait for you to repent and go back to worshipping the Can, not some stupid knife.

Where you went wrong: You kidnapped Glenboat. That's a bad thing to do. Bring her back.
 
Glenburne said:
It just occurred to me...that if the DLF is really a corrupted GG, sent back in time...then GG should not be an enemy of the DLR, because it exists mainly to support her. In that case--

sf;lkajdkl;fjkl;asdjgl;khafdguiop haoieropajkl;jdkl;jfdslajfslkd;jl;adsjhfgiuopehriuohrejknv

Glen has been removed. She called the DLF "corrupted," and such blasphemy will not be tolerated. Ever.
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*Eats Glen and DLF* But I wouldn't be aware of that because apparently I haven't gone back in time yet, it's a future version of me.

Miss Freckles said:
I should have thought it would be rather a compliment to you... So if you're averse to being called corrupt, you're not beyond saving. We will simply point out where you went wrong and wait for you to repent and go back to worshipping the Can, not some stupid knife.

Where you went wrong: You kidnapped Glenboat. That's a bad thing to do. Bring her back.
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*Eats the Can*
 
The DLF has been stuffed into the Can before, and the Can permitted the bullying. The Butter Knife does not tolerate bullies, however, and it has always been misunderstood.

Being corrupt would make being radical very difficult. And we are radical.

The fridge in the mod lounge will be the first thing to blow.






GG, you can stop eating now.
 
Glenburne said:
Being corrupt would make being radical very difficult. And we are radical.
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Couldn't you be radically corrupt?

Despicable Lunatic Fool said:
The fridge in the mod lounge will be the first thing to blow.
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YES!! I'm totally on your side on that one! :D

WarriorSatyr said:
Being a member of the Can Clan, I believe that I should take offense to this.
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I'm a Knight of the Order of the Can, I'm fuming!! We need a new, a better plan. I believe that Glenbunny might be sending us secret messages hidden in the DLF's insane boasting. Does anyone know how to build an Enigma machine?
 
Radical groups who are radically consumed with money do not act in ways that would endanger their money supply.

We do not care about a money supply. If the DLF lacks food, we will rip open the lid of the Can and remove his food by force. The Can has always skimped on the food he was supposed to give the DLF, anyway. The DLF deserves justice.

And he will cut his food with the Butter Knife.
 
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Hehe. Sounds like a miserable life. Getting food out of a trash can and then trying to cut it up with a knife that can't even cut through Kleenex. Poor DLF *pets DLF*

By the way, I think I deciphered the hidden message Glenbutterscotch sent us. See, the last words of each sentence in the DLF's last post make "Supply, supply force anyway. Justice Knife." This is clearly a poetic call to arms. Everyone stand in line, justice knives at the ready, and "Scotland the Brave" on your lips.

Or was Justice Knife Glen's pen name? :confused:
 
The Justice Knife is our new name for the Butter Knife, just as the Shiny Can is now the Can of Corruption.

Your hidden message is "Hehe, life, Kleenex DLF! DLF us anyway, knife. Arms, lips, name!"

Exactly what this means is difficult to decipher, except that you think that "DLF" is a verb and evidently a synonym for "stab." We resent your suggestion that the DLF is violent. The DLF is never violent, and when he is violent, it is YOUR FAULT.
 
Why would I use the same code as you? I may be 79% daft but that kind of daftness is decidedly in the remaining 12%.

But I'm all in favor of using DLF as a verb. Sounds cool.

Your violence is never my fault, D-Elf (wow using DLF as a gangster name is EVEN COOLER!). The Insane Aylum was granted full custody of me in 2008; they will assume full responsibility for my actions. So there.
 
In regards to you being 79% daft: aside from the fact that you cannot add, 76.5% of statistics are made up on the spot.

How dare you suggest that the DLF might be an Elf! Yet another attempt to treat him as a less-than-human being. He is fully human, and he might be GG. In any case, no one had a right to force him to live in squalor behind the refrigerator. The dust bunnies left him with a serious lung condition, and he wasn't allowed to get a job, so he doesn't have the insurance to cover treatment.

Fortunately, we briefly kidnapped the Asylum's doctor. The DLF is feeling better, but he is hungry. Very hungry.
 
If the DLF be indeed such an unfortunate, misunderstood individual, he should apply to the proper authorities, i.e. the Queen, and not kidnap our innocent Glenborough. Or even the ostensibly innocent Glenbinder. Or even the as-little-innocent-as-anyone-else-let's-not-point-fingers-here Glenbear. She's a human being, after all. Or a bear.

Also, dust bunnies. I've never heard someone with dust issues in their apartment blame the neighbors. Seriously. If there are dust bunnies where you live, get to work!

Sincerely,
the voice of reason
 
Dear Voice of Reason (hereafter known as Vor),

The DLF is actually not responsible for the DLR. Believe it or not. It's rather difficult to start a radical guerrilla movement when you are nonverbal. Actually, it's no wonder he can't talk, when he has relatives who are like--

aksj;ipoupqm vlhauifjkn984qr0eywauisljkn720qrewaofusdihlkdszhviuadshlkjabfiulgdsuihj

Dear Voice of Reason (can we call you "Vorrie"?),

Glen has been struggling emotionally because she cannot decide to crack eggs from the big end or the little end. Please show patience with her as we revolutionize the universe.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
The DLR
 
Dear Voice of Reason (hereafter known as Vor),

The DLF is actually not responsible for the DLR. Believe it or not. It's rather difficult to start a radical guerrilla movement when you are nonverbal. Actually, it's no wonder he can't talk, when he has relatives who are like--

aksj;ipoupqm vlhauifjkn984qr0eywauisljkn720qrewaofusdihlkdszhviuadshlkjabfiulgdsuihj

Dear Voice of Reason (can we call you "Vorrie"? "Verizon" also works),

Glen has been struggling emotionally because she cannot decide whether to crack eggs from the big end or the little end. Please show patience with her as we continue to revolutionize the universe.

Thank you.

Sincerely,
The DLR
 
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It appears from the sequence of "iu23z5ß3978üu0w48iohq394897" appeaaring in the post whenever the DLR takes over the post from Glenbetsy that a struggle takes place until she surrenders the keyboard to the DLR. That's good news! Keep fighting, Glenbuckaroo!

So, DLR, how exactly are you planning to "revolutionize" the universe? By finally taking care of your own house chores while Glenbaby makes pancakes? I'm all in favor.
 
We do not have a house; we have multiple secret fortresses hidden across the globe. We keep specially-trained goats inside, which eat all our messes and also move things back to their proper places. The goats are all named Machiavelli, because sometimes they eat important documents by accident.

We will revolutionize the universe by freeing the DLF and all others who cannot speak for themselves. Revenge may also be in order, and renewed honor for the Justice [Butter] Knife.
 
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