How To Kill Fred the Box 2,892 times

[Lady of Lorien]

609. Refuse to rescue him when LoL catches him near her CW (OR WC for that matter...and that doesn't stand for water closet...)

 

[Lossëndil]

610. plant him under a cactus, then drop a whale.

 

[Lady of Lorien]

611...on the edge of a cliff...

 

[Glenburne]

612. Tell WS that he's a whale and needs hugging.

 

[WarriorSatyr]

*Hugs Fred the Box*

613. Tell the DLR that he is helping to imprison the DLF.

 

[Glenburne]

614. Cut Fred up into small pieces and turn them into magnets to put on the Asylum fridge.

 

[Miss Freckles]

615. Make him wear a red shirt and send him on a mission with the rest of the crew of the Enterprise.

 

[Glenburne]

616. Tell Harry Potter that Fred is Voldemort's final Horcrux. Or tell Ron that Fred is really a spider. Either way....

 

[Sopespian]

617: Serve him on a plate to Glozelle. That guy'll eat anything.

 

[Glenburne]

618. Tell Sopespian that he is a football.

 

[Lossëndil]

619. tell the geese it's a duck trying to take their food. (typed as I watched geese outside the apartment chase a duck off the lawn. MY FOOD!! NO TOUCHIE!!)

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

620. Tear him into little pieces and throw them down the stairs for my kitten Padfoot to fetch.

 

[Glenburne]

621. Make him become a full-time protester in random countries with autocratic governments. Some police officer will kill him eventually.

 

[Lossëndil]

622. Bake him into a brownie!

 

[Glenburne]

623. Send him to a ComicCon dressed as Dolores Umbridge.

 

[Mozart the Meerkitten]

624. Serve him as pizza to high school and college students.
Half the time the food tastes like cardboard anyway, so no one would notice.

 

[Glenburne]

625. Force him to become a houseboat during the winter. He'll catch cold and end up with pneumonia.

 

[Miss Freckles]

626. Dress him up as an Irish fairy.

627. Impale him.

 

[Glenburne]

628. Give him to Freckles, who will presently impale nearly everything without a reason. Except vampires, of course, because she would actually have a good reason to impale those.

 

[WarriorSatyr]

629) Dress him as a sexy Vampire and give him to Bat-Bat.