From: The Lord Surena, aka Parthian King
To: Her Majesty to Queen, loyal subject of Aslan and chief servant of all true Narnians.
Regards by the Lion's Mane!
Majesty, I felt it necessary at this juncture to puntuate the Prince's report with something of my own, especially given the critical nature of our present situation. I intend to inform on troop morale, supplies, and other logistical details that every good commander will desire to know before proceeding with an armed conflict such as this.
The morale among the men is high. Granted, this sleeping in castles thing is new to them, but I must say it can be gotten used to! We are used to the open steppe and the desert, amid the blowing sands, blazing sun, and frigid desert nights. Some of my men are feeling a bit "boxed in," but sleeping one and all, without worrying for attack from any point on the compass is a refreshing change. My only concern is that all this comfort may lead to the troops going a bit soft. I plan on slipping a bit of sand in the stew to make them feel more at home.
Supplies are holding for the moment, but in any pitched battle our arrows can be depleted rather quickly. Are there any loyal dwarves about that might do a bit of fletching? They are terribly handy at such things, and we cannot match them for speed. Fodder supplies are another matter. Something must be done or we cannot count on the horses for more than two more days. Fresh hay is fine, provided the quality is good, but we need plenty of it. As you can see, our steeds are a full 15 hands high--fearsome to be sure, but they sure can put a lot back. The camels are fine with lesser quality, and I do apologize for, well, you know. Perhaps the same breezes that bring our foes hither will benefit us some in that matter.
Majesty, I implore you to remember the nature of my people. What the pirates are at sea, so are we on land. Encirclement and decimation of the foe is out strength; siege and defense rather bores us, though archers are archers, if you follow my meaning. Majesty, let them come! Give me a chance to surround these scurvy dogs, and you shall see what a loyal servant can do!
I tell you, O Queen, that hair shall grow on my palm before those pirates shall enter this place!
Serving thee as long as thou servest the Lion,
The Parthian King
P.S. You may have wondered how that blasted little monkey survived such a hail of arrows. I confess, this is a bit embarassing to admit, but all lies open before you, O Queen. A few of my commanders have brought to my attention the fact that monkeys make wicked jockeys, and are beyond handy when it comes to handling arrows. (They're cute little buggers, too, but you won't find any of my hardened battle warriors admitting that above a whisper and only in the strictest confidence.) In any case, that, Majesty, is why that blasted primate never came close and never will come close to being hit by a Parthian arrow. I am ashamed to admit the sentiment, but more ashamed at the idea that you might think we couldn't hit such a small and active target. Majesty, let such a thought never enter your mind! We hit other such darting and tiny foes for mere sport, and in the early morning before the sleep is wiped from our eyes!
At any rate, is there, perchance, anway of procuring a few of these creatures? It would only help our cause...