Really Bad Jokes.

Dernhelm said:
Hmph! Anyone else know?
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Dernhelm what do you mean? know what?

Oh my friend Brandon made a really lame pun concerning chasing my friend Tim in this game we were playing at youth on Thursday. He was like, "Go get Tim, go get him, go get'im." It was too sad, lol.

Back on topic, again Dernhelm what are you talking or rather typing about?
 
About the puns......Today at youth group, we went bowling. There's a kid in our youth group whom we call by his last name. His last name is Boling. So we said, "Go bowling, Boling!"

The best part was that when the youth leader originally announced that we'd be going bowling, he said, "The special event for this month is bowling."

We capitalized on this by asking, "how much is bowling?" He said, "yeah, it's really pretty cheap. Doesn't cost much."

:D
 
DryadofLanternWaste said:
Back on topic, again Dernhelm what are you talking or rather typing about?
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Sorry, me were getting of topic; I was asking her what "dk" means.
 
Has anyone heard of Flanders and Swann? At the drop of another Hat? Very funny. They're talking about how England has no national song: "The Scotish have one; Scotland for I, (or for me as it should more properly be). And the German's! Whatever you say about the German's; (and who doesn't?), but what a marvolous song that was, marvolous: German, German Over-alls. Even the Americans have a national song; My Countery 'tis of Thee; which they sing to the tune of God Save the Queen!"

And then the song: "it starts with a very English understatment:

The English, the English, the English are best; I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest!"

I think it was the Ireshman who
"sleeps in his boots and lies in his teeth; he blows up policemen, or so I have heard; and blames it on Cromwell and William the III!"
And
"all the world over, each nation's the same; they've simply no notion of playing the game.
They argue with umpires, they cheer when they've won; and they practice beforehand, which ruins the fun!"

"The English, the English, the English are best; I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest.
The English are moral, the English are good, and clever, and modest, and misunderstood;
The English, the English, the English are best; so up with the English, and down with the rest!"

There. It's not exactly a joke; but it's funny! They have lots of other songs; I picked this one because of Rosymole. She's English, isn't she?
 
From a tape by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann. It's called "At the Drop of Another Hat". I picked out some of the best lines, but it's much better if you hear it (the music, expression, etc.)
I also forgot one of the very best lines; at the end:
"It's not that they're wicked, or natrelly bad; it's knowing their forigen that makes them so mad!"
 
I'm not going to take the time to make sure these haven't been told yet. Just so you know, I'm known for my terribly bad puns wherever I go. My jokes are okay, but don't get into a conversation with me unless you intend on looking at me stupidly. This, however, is the best joke in the world. Enjoy.

Way far off in a distant land, there was this group of people called "Trids". They are about the size of Hobbits, and they are blue, but they aren't Smurfs. They'll get really mad at you if you call them a Smurf. Anyway, the Trids lived by this river, I think it was called the Clu Colo River, which is Tridish for "River that never goes dry". There was this really bad drought at one point, so bad that there was no water. Well, of course, the Trids got pretty worried. "How are we going to get water?" They all asked. So, the best solution they came to was to journey to the Land of the Giants, which had a very bountiful season that year, and was bordered by another river, the Eas Mac River, which, translated, means "buy Nike shoes". So they got a group together to go to the Land of the Giants. Once the first giant saw them, though, he kicked every single one all the way back to their own land. One by one, you know, like a field goal kicker on steroids. The Trids tried to go back again and again, but the giants kept on kicking them back. This went on for weeks. With water still gone, and the giants still being jerks, the Trids finally thought of a Plan B. Granted, they weren't the brightest stars in the sky, but they did think of another plan. I mean, you'd think that after one week, it'd sink in that the giants were pretty stubborn. Anyway, they decided to get a negotiator to go to the Land of the Giants on behalf of the Trids. Well, they got a Rabbi, and, as we all know, Rabbis are extremely good negotiators. So the Rabbi (who is a human, not a Trid, of course) went to the Land of the Giants. The Giants saw him, and didn't kick him. As it turns out, the Giants were more than willing to let the Trids use their water supply. The Rabbi, like you I'm presuming, was really suprised by this. So, the Giants signed the papers, and that was that. After the negotiations, the Rabbi was still pretty confused, so he finally asked one of the giants why they kept kicking the little guys all the time. "I mean, what did the Trids ever do to you guys?" he asked. The giants looked at the Rabbi and began to laugh. The giants responded, "Silly rabbi, kicks are for Trids!"

Okay, I'll be kind and limit my posts on this thread to one joke per post. Kudos to anyone who sat through that whole reading. :D
 
I like the German national Anthem

"Duitlem, Duitlem, Uberlate vichnich, Iem ur-buac iantu..."

That's not the actual spelling, it's my crude atempt to use German phonetics with an English keybord.
 
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