Roleplay By Monologues

Status
Not open for further replies.
Donkey Kong climbed up in a tree. He was not used to those anymore since he lived in a 80 floors high appartment. So Donkey automatically pressed on a button to open the door of the elevator but all he felt was a branch. Donkey Kong turned around to see if there was a row behind him and all he saw were some young boys age 13 looking at him.

"Are you really Donkey? My father used to play your games when he was a kid"
" So did mine"
" And mine"
" Mine too"
" Both my dad and older brother"
" My granddad loved it"
" My dad did so too"
" Yep...you bet mine did"

Five hours later Donkey fled away. He was getting tired of those kids and he felt a bit old. Donkey rushed and hit a branch. he felt on the floor.

" OMG!!! They killed Kenny!"
" No silly...this is Donkey"

Donkey got up. " That's it! Don't you kids have other things to do? OMG they killed Kenny! We are not in South park here! Thank goodness....this show is way too rude for you young guys to watch"

The boys laughed at Donkey and walked away. They didn't seem to be interested in Donkey's words.

" When I was younger there was still some respect"
 
OOC: Hmmm, I guess it IS up to me to put more words in Queenie's mouth. By the way, I agree with Donkey Kong that "South Park" is disgusting. I've watched only enough of it to be sure I'm right in saying so. It reminds me of when I was about ten years old, and my friends and I thought it was the peak of brilliant wit to tell each other "jokes" whose ONLY point was to end up saying an impolite word.

=====================================


The horses were too skittish after the smashing of their stable doors to be ridden safely; but Jake was spending time with them, and Grey Eagle and Bat-Bat would be using their super-powers to repair the doors (after photographing the doors as evidence of Miss Piggy's guilt and liability). Emmett decided to serve two purposes at once by an alternate plan of transportation. Hand in hand, he and Queenie went to the home of Parson Finney and his wife Louise.

"Parson--Louise--y'all wanted a chance to jaw some with the young lady who's about to be joinin' the congregation. What would you say to takin' us for a drive in your off-road SUV, down to the manmade lake, where I'm gonna teach her about fishin'? I'll pay for the gas, an' later your supper will be my treat over at Copperfox's place." (The minister's SUV was not a frivolity; he used it to go on visits to parishioners in outlying locations far from paved highways.)

Soon the two couples, plus eleven-year-old Joel Finney, plus all needed fishing tackle, were in the SUV and on the way. Queenie and Emmett sat all the way in the back--er, um, shaking hands, of course.

Between times of, cough cough, shaking hands, Queenie asked Louise Finney various questions about the Bible which had come to her mind--especially about marriage. Together with direct Bible answers, the parson's wife made an extraordinary departure from the majority of female characters in online roleplaying. She not only did NOT speak of her husband as an immensely inferior being whom she had to forgive for being so stupid; she even said that she considered him wiser than herself--and that this had ATTRACTED her to him in the first place, rather than making her wish to defeat him and pull him down.

After Queenie had taken in enough to digest for awhile--and had noticed, without saying so, that Emmett did NOT seem to be egotistically waiting for her also to compliment HIM on his wisdom--she drew her fiance back into more, ahem, handshaking. ;)

The boy Joel suddenly broke in: "Hey, Queenie, did he tell you the NAME of the lake we're goin' to?"

Leaning back reluctantly from, innocent look, handshaking, Queenie said, "No; what is it called?"

The boy, though much better-mannered than most modern eleven-year-old boys, allowed himself an impish grin and a very soft whisper of "Sittin' in a tree," before he answered the question: "It's called the Born-Again Snow Queen Reservoir!"

Queenie's eyes widened roundly. "Is it REALLY?" She turned to Emmett and repeated the same amazed question.

"Sure is, no joke," Emmett assured her. "Bein' as how we're livin' in a place where the United States is affected by Monologues-dimension reality, I was able to have its name changed, just like that, for my sweetie-pie."

Queenie did not for the moment say another word; rather, she flung herself into some more, ha ha, handshaking.
 
Last edited:
Meanwhile, in a secret hideout of the same evil show-business conspiracy that Bat-Bat was com-BAT-ting, an unnatural woman, as evil as the Snow Queen formerly had been, was receiving her evil instructions from the evil studio executives.

She was to try being a Delilah to The Grey Eagle's Samson: taking advantage of his emotional vulnerability with two wives deceased and every living woman he took a strong liking to putting him off. She had the power to look like any woman of any race whose appearance Grey Eagle admired: Naomi Watts, Michelle Yeoh, Jewell Staite, Lexa Doig, Tiffany Narvaez of The Dancing Lawn, etc., etc.

She would seek to corrupt him--in Star Wars terms, to lure him to the Dark Side.
 
Queenie was looking the whole time with her mouth open. Like an innocent child instead of a reborn evil witch she once was. Queenie wrapped her arms around her lover's neck and whispered in his ears.

" Emmett darling....tell me more about those mountains. How long have they been here? Maybe you laugh about me with all these silly questions but I never learned how such things have been created".

Emmett smiles " No my young lass, I ain't laughing at ya. These are God's creation and have been here as long as I remember".

Queenie kissed her darling again. " That's why I love you so much. You are not like the guys I met when I was still in this showbusiness thing. They all thought they could easily reach my heart but I knew it was you long before this started."

The boy Joel looked at Queenie. " So how does it feel to turn into a summer queen?"

Queenie smiled. A deep smile from the bottom of her heart. The snow queen she once were had died and a new queen had been born. The queen of Emmet's heart and Queenie didn't plan to ruin it this time. She loved this new start in her life and then she started to ask more questions about the bible.
 
"Bible AND mountains, eh?" chuckled Emmett. "Well, actually, the two subjects DO cross trails many a time. First, about how old the Rockies are, it's generally supposed that they're younger than the Appalachians to the east of us, 'cause the Appalachians are less high an' show more signs of long erosion."

From the driver's seat, Parson Finney--who was seldom addressed by his first name of Titus--called back, "That gets into discussion of the true age of the Earth. I'm what's called an Old Earth Special Creationist myself, as are Emmett and Copperfox; but I think that's a subject for another time."

"Agreed, Parson," Emmett called back. "Now, sweetheart, about mountains in the Bible. Abraham climbed Mount Zion once, when God pretended He wanted Abraham to kill his own son Isaac as a sacrifice--"

Queenie was horrified. "What are you saying? How COULD the real God--the God of Whom Aslan is an aspect--call on a father to make his child a human sacrifice??"

"Easy, gal." Emmett allowed himself another kiss to her lips, forgetting to euphemize it as handshaking. "God was just puttin' Abraham to a test, to make sure he would obey God no matter what. Soon as Abraham was READY to do it, God told him he didn't really have to. There's a connection there with Jesus submittin' to the will of God the Father--which I believe the parson plans a sermon about, sometime before Christmas.

"Now, another important mountain in the Bible is right next to that one--called the Mount of Olives, 'cause of olive trees growin' round about. Jesus gave His most famous sermon there; and Scripture says that when He returns in glory, He'll make His landin' right there. A third mountain in the same vicinity, more a hill really, is what we call Mount Calvary, or Golgotha. That's where Jesus died to pay for our sins: the act of sacrifice which is echoed in His death in the form of Aslan in Narnia.

"South of them other mountains, down toward Egypt, is Mount Sinai. It sets my teeth on edge when preachers call it 'Mount Sigh-KNEEEEE-Eye," but Parson Finney knows better. That's where Moses received laws from God when the Israelites were journeyin' away from slavery into freedom."

"Laws--at the very time they were supposed to be free?" Queenie asked, not mockingly but wishing to understand.

"It's a common misconception," the parson interjected again, "to think that freedom is the complete absence of law. Francis Schaeffer had a good phrase: 'freedom within form.' That's what God gives us."

Emmett took over again. "Yeah, what he said. Look at us, darlin'. No one held a gun to your head nor mine to force us to get engaged and married; we both freely CHOSE to make this commitment to each other. Yet once made, the commitment is bindin'; it would be an offense against the Lord Himself if either of us broke it now--a minor offense if destroyin' the relationship while still only engaged, but a HUGE offense if breakin' it after takin' our vows in the church."

"Here's YOUR reservoir, Queenie!" eleven-year-old Joel now interrupted.

There it was, indeed: a larger body of inland water than Queenie had ever seen in Wonderland, though her true native country (FROM which magic had given her access into Wonderland) had lakes of comparable size. At the east end--thus, away from the mountains--was the dam which held in the water. Most other things in the area looked perfectly natural and pristine. There was just a fringe of ice around the shoreline, and some snow irregularly scattered on the ground and the few trees. Queenie planted one more heartfelt kiss on Emmett; then, once the parson had the SUV parked, everyone started climbing out.
 
They arrived at the reservoir which is a mile removed form the nearest dwelling. Queenie looked at the Pier from which one could fish directly. " Emmett!! This is sooo amazing!" Queenie looked around and enjoyed the cold wheater. She felt the cool wind on her cheeks and grabbed Emmett's hand. Emmett felt her cold cheeks and kissed her.

" This is so much easier than arranging for a boat sweetheart of mine. You are going to enjoy this".

Louise Finney whistled and was carrying packed sandwhiches and a thermos of hot apple cider with her. She winked at Queenie and grabbed her arm

" Don't worry lass, we won't disturb the two of you"

Queenie laughed and walked back to her dear Emmett.

" And now my sweetheart, I'm gonna teach you how to catch an juicy fish"
 
The first thing Emmett made sure Queenie understood was the hazards of handling hooks--both plain hooks, and the hooks built into the colored lures he planned to use today. He spoke of what to do if a hook did jab into one's finger (first of all, don't panic), and showed her the sturdy wire-clipper he always kept on him when fishing.

Next he showed her how the reel on a fishing rod works. "You use these knobs to control it: to hold the reel in place at the start of castin' the line, and to haul in a fish if you hook one." This led to a lesson in casting, which Queenie mastered in very short order. Emmett rewarded her success with more, cough cough, handshaking.

The recreational area had firepits, where fires could safely be built. Joel, a Boy Scout, made standby preparations to fire-cook any fish that might be caught by the two lovers, or by his own parents--who the boy did not yet have the sense to realize were ALSO lovers as surely as Emmett and Queenie.

 
Last edited:
OOC: Well according to the rules that there are no rules in this RP, I'm going to go to town and have fun with this! Hope this is random and goofy enough!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter set out to take his unicorn out for a leisurely Sunday ride when he noticed the gas gauge was nearly empty.

"Confound it Edmund, if your going to take the unicorn out, you could at least bother to fill it back up again!"

So he made is way to the nearest gas station where he was greeted by the friendly Calormens who owned it. He unscrewed the unicorns horn and began filling it up. While the unicorn was being filled, he walked inside and encountered a unique aroma that consisted of burnt coffee, overcooked hot dogs, and a microwave burrito. He picked up a newspaper and a cup of overpriced brown water that was supposed to be coffee and paid the clerk.

He began to flip through the paper and made his way through the ads in an effort to find some news.

"Hm... they are having a liquidation sale at Jadis'... it's certainly hard to try and run a business with such as seasonal focus"

He flipped through the paper some more to find the sports page in order to locate the score of the Giants game.

Finally he came to the classifieds "Lost... one electric torch .... last seen at made-up raid on Telmarine castle... if found please call Edmund Pevinsie at 555-1234."

"Not again Ed... muttered Peter... that's the fourth time this month you've lost that thing"

Finally he put away his newspaper and burnt brown water and mounted his unicorn. The clerk had just finished cleaning the windshield and dusting the floormats so Peter tipped the man and was on his way.
 
Meanwhile, in a small village just to the south of the Shire, but still to the north of Pride Rock, an unassuming young man was walking down the street when he noticed a movie poster on the side of the local movie theater.

"What??? Another movie about sexy vampires??? I find this offensive, not once has anyone ever made a movie about sexy green radioactive mutants! We want to know love just like everyone else! That makes me ANGRY!!!"

....and with that the young man turned into a giant green radioactive mutant and roared off down the street to go find whoever was responsible for making this movie and give them a piece of his mind. As he was running down the street, he failed to notice where he was going and ran face-first into a building. The building now had a new exterior window, which really added to the feng-shui of it, and the 8ft-tall-radioactive-green-mutant, now had a sharp pain in his mouth. He figured he must have knocked a tooth loose when he ran into the building and decided it would be for the best to find a dentist. He went and picked up a phone book and called the first number that was listed.

The phone rang twice and was picked up by the receptionist. She confirmed that they had an opening that afternoon and the he was free to come by to have his tooth looked at. When he arrived at the dentist, he noticed the sign on the door:

"Dr. James Bond D.D.S. - License to Drill"
 
Me: They are strange....... *takes notes*
Alyosha: *quack*
Me: Yes, go jump rope. Just be careful!
Alyosha: *quack*
Me: No, I'm not worried!
Alyosha: *quack*
Me: *sigh* Ducks......
 
Faramir and his men had just finished decontaminating the entire Land of Mordor. All surviving Orcs had been rounded up and sent to reform schools where the teachers and hall monitors were all huge Ents. But just when all seemed well, the Change Party demanded that Faramir submit to an environmental-impact inspection.

When Faramir pointed out that Middle-Earth was not and never had been under United States jurisdiction, the party hacks replied, "That makes no difference! All our protesting against the USA meddling in other countries was ONLY when the meddling WASN'T controlled by OUR party!"
 
Last edited:
Eventually Alice finds Alyosha in Oshkosh, wearing posh galoshes at a mosh party. "Gosh!" exclaims Alice, as a fellow named Josh offers her snacks to nosh.
 
Last edited:
Alice picks up Alyosha and walks out.
Me: We're going home, right now! Bad duck!
Alyosha: *quack*
Me: What do you mean?
Alyosha: *quack*
Me: We are still going home!
alyosha: *quack*
Me: Let's go......
Alyosha: *quack*
Me: *sigh* You are a handful.....
 
Back in his restaurant kitchen, Luigi scooped up a handful of duck and stuffed it with feta cheese for the daily special, though he'd heard there was some kind of protest going on that might make him have to serve half duck, half something else. He considered what might constitute being opposite of a duck and dialed up the local zoo to order an elephant.
 
The elephant at the zoo Luigi dialed was so distraught that he actually ASKED to be sent to Luigi to be butchered and eaten. He had decided that this would be more merciful than what numerous so-called "animal rights" activists were doing. By continuously tightening restrictions on animal ownership, animal management, access to large-animal veterinarians, etc., these Change Party stooges were only making it HARDER for anyone, even the MOST competent and conscientious, to CARE FOR exotic animals.

But Doctor Who came to the rescue. First he gave the despondent elephant a special regeneration treatment, enabling Luigi to take a considerable amount of elephant flesh to cook yet have it all grow back on the elephant himself (one time). Then the Doctor transported the elephant to The Planet of the Elephants, a never-filmed spinoff of "Planet of the Apes."
 
(Consider this to be happening BEFORE Bat-Bat and Trinity were outside examining the truck and AFTER he thought about taking a vacation to the Bahamas, and DURING his assignment trying to bust that Hollywood executive)

Bat-Bat had lunch.

 
Last edited:
While watching the line and bobber for a long leisurely time (Emmett and Queenie had just one fishing pole between them, because why put any distance between them needlessly?), Queenie asked Emmett, and the parson once when he came over, to explain more about the nature of conversion. Various perfectly appropriate examples were cited, as when King David after his worst sin prayed to have a clean heart (the parson contributed that one), and when the risen Jesus Himself "corralled Saul of Tarsus an' broke him to the saddle," as Emmett put it. More than an hour passed in this fashion, punctuated by occasional, cough cough, handshaking. The Finneys caught several trout during this time; but, as if to show God's sense of humor, Queenie didn't get a single bite until Emmett had just spoken about the Apostles being called to "fish" for human souls to "hook" them into salvation. Right then, she got the thrilling tug on her line. The gunslinger's encouraging whoop soon had the Finneys cheering Queenie on as well.

She did a superb job of reeling in her hefty trout, and Emmett secured it in the hand net. This, with the Finneys' catch, made enough for an early dinner, and all five persons (good though the sandwiches had been, less than two hours ago) felt they could eat again as soon as the fish would be ready. There were still carrot sticks to accompany the trout. Joel had shown excellent timing with the fire; it was down to perfect glowing coals now.

Emmett actually literally shook hands with Queenie, congratulating her on her first-time success; then he did some more of that other thing, after which he demonstrated cleaning the fish. He placed all the refuse in a container the Finneys had brought for this purpose, to be disposed of elsewhere. "Don't want to leave nothin' here that smells appetizin' to bears," Emmett explained to his beloved. "They sometimes venture this far from the foothills, and it wouldn't do for them to decide this was THEIR own reg'lar feedin' ground. Be different, were all the folks armed as comes here; but most ain't, an' the trend is that ever fewer will be. So we exercise prevention."
 
But then, just as the dust settled there was brilliant flash a loud "thud". Indeed it was Dr. Who's arch-nemeses: The "Evil Uses" Bill and Ted (as opposed to the "good uses" Bill and Ted).

BUT they weren't alone: They had brought with them the most notorious villains in history:

The Shouting Guy from Late-Night Informericals

The Annoying Guy Who Never Stops Talking on His Cell Phone

A Used Car Dealer

...and even .... a telemarketer.....
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top