Roleplay By Monologues

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Meanwhile, old friends from Monologues past posts were beginning to make the journey to Colorado for the wedding of Emmett and the formerly evil Queenie. These included the now famous duo and former enemies Confederate Colonel Beauregard T. Beauregard (the “T” always standing for “Beauregard”) and Federal Colonel Eugene Templeton Singleton (trailed of course by his drummer boy Pippin). These two had finally stopped being enemies when they decided to present a united front and together throw pies at the one girl role player. Also, together they had converged on Washington DC intending to stop the “Change” party candidate from taking over. They failed in this but now they are brainstorming ways of taking back the government FOR the people.

Other possible attendees included the trick-or-treaters at the beginning of the thread, Arwen, Aragon, Farimir and many others. Even the aliens were planning to attend even though some of them still had their brain fried from Emmett’s Horse With No Name tune.
 
Brenda experienced a glimmer of evil encouragement in her evil heart; her target was asking what _would_ make a relationship possible between them. Maybe she would, after all, have the chance to enjoy stringing him along and then dumping him...this, of course, _after_ he had performed some service for the evil conspiracy.

"It's the easiest thing, darling"--the first time she had called him that; "you just have to accept a few little statements as undisputed bedrock fact.

"Government always knows better than the individual citizen, about everything.

"Freedom is important only for matters of pleasure and self-indulgence; government should make all decisions about industry, education, health care and so on.

"Individual decisions must be made on the basis of emotions, never on facts--because only government has the actual facts anyway, and going by feelings _feels_ better.

"Biological entities which do not serve the interests of the collective are expendable.

"Both sides in any conflict are always equally wrong, but the United States is always _more_ equally wrong.

"The only industries which do any damage to the environment are industries in capitalistic nations.

"Women and men are exactly equal, equivalent and interchangeable, except that women are better.

"Women are omnipotent goddesses, but at the same time they are helpless victims of patriarchy.

"Marriage is old-fashioned and primitive; in fact, it should be eliminated, since it causes other living arrangements to be _judged_ as less valid.

"Every _other_ belief system in the world is _better_ than Judeo-Christian thinking.

"And anyone who disagrees with even one of these talking points is a Nazi.

"There, sweetheart, see how _easy_ it is? Just conform to this code, and our love will be off the charts!"
 
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The Grey Eagle stared in amazement at Brenda's degree of brazen partisanship, then regained control of himself. "And all these points have to be accepted as gospel, in order for love and compassion to prosper?"

"Of course, darling. All the hate in this country comes from division, so everybody needs to be united on OUR terms--because we're the loving, tolerant ones." There was not even any irony in her voice. "Only when all dissenting voices are completely silenced will the nationwide collective operate as it should. And when you and I are partners, I'm looking forward to seeing how you help to silence the right-wing crazies."

Grey Eagle sounded as innocent as he could manage: "You mean crazies like, say, the evil oil corporation that was responsible for the changes to your appearance, right?"

She nodded. "Yes, exactly, the evil oil--wait a minute!"

The superhero's voice turned hard. "Wait a minute, is right. You told me before that it was an evil _pharmaceutical_ corporation. I guess it's hard to keep the story straight when you tell so _many_ lies."

Brenda no longer bothered acting affectionate. Instead, shrieking curses, she tried to kick her target--only to have her foot caught and herself shoved off balance onto the floor. But she had another arrow in her quiver. "Harassment! Harassment! I'll bring harassment charges against you; and we _own_ the courts now!"

"But you don't own all the means of communication yet. Aryun!"

The cook emerged from his hiding place, to say to his boss, "Everything's been recorded, sight and sound. Everything she said or did is already being passed to the internet, more than enough to prove her harassment charge is a lie."

In her frustrated rage, the Shapechanger flickered through many politically-correct guises as she lurched up off the floor: from Janeane Garofalo to Natalie Portman to Angelina Jolie to Maggie Gyllenhaal to Alicia Keys to Cameron Diaz to Susan Sarandon to Ashley Judd to Madonna to a young Jane Fonda. Starting for the exit, she shouted, "You idiot! You could have had all the women in the world as your own! You could have had more love in any one night than either of your wives ever even thought of giving you!"

This was not the wisest parting remark for her to have made. She had not gotten another three paces before the super-swift Grey Eagle was _between_ her and the door, catching her in an inescapable telekinetically-enhanced grip. "Don't you _dare_ mention them with your filthy mouth! God forgive me, I let _that_ filthy mouth _kiss_ me! But you couldn't even keep up your pretense of love as long as it took to defend your agenda. So no, I wouldn't have had as much love in a _lifetime_ with you as I had on any average DAY with either of my wives; and they're waiting to meet me in a place I doubt _you'll_ ever see! Now tell me whom you're working for!"

At that moment, the door flew open by itself, and a wind even colder than the season would produce blew into The Octopus Garden. Grey Eagle was distracted, looking to see if some enemy was coming in, then to make sure Aryun was all right. In that moment, Brenda broke free and ran. When Grey Eagle would have moved to recapture her, the wind seemed to become a barrier halting his pursuit. By the time his own power overcame the resistance and he could run outside, there was no sign of the Shapechanger.
 
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The draygons hardly even had time to express shock when their attack failed, as the snowmen retalliated viciously with their snowball cannons. The flying warriors were able to melt them all before they could reach their scaly bodies... that is, until the snowmen started putting little Santa hats on each snowball as well. Their burning flames could not lick away the icyness, and they were soon pelted from nose to tail-tip in freezing snow. Pathetically flapping their wings, they all sluggishly fell from the sky and landed in even more cold snow. They were soon done for, not killed, just in cold-induced hibernation.
Meg tried her best to contain her disappointment. Her ears only drooped for a few seconds before she regained her composure and her face was as cold and hard as the snowballs that Arny's Army was flinging. This failure only made her more determined to win. He thought he could take HER muffin and then destroy her army as well? Well, this pudgy penguin would soon see that she had a few tricks in her hat as well.

Meanwhile, The Banana Nut Bread Golden Muffin of Muffiny Goodness from the Court of Santa Claus continued to stare forlornly at the crumb of streusel it could not pick up. Eventually it noticed footsteps and voices converging around its ornate plate. It wondered vaguely at this, and where it was. This place did not look like Santa's workshop, or Mrs. Claus's homy kitchen, or... well, anywhere at the North Pole for that matter. It reflected on this for a good 30 minutes, until it got distracted with trying to come up with more synonyms for ponder.
 
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Using his power of staying awake (he had the Navy to thank for this one), Grey Eagle hovered around outside Aryun's house the rest of the night, in case there might be cowardly reprisals against the man who had assisted him in exposing Brenda's treacherous masquerade.

But the reprisal--or rather, the evil which had already been in the works _before_ the superhero and the curry cook exposed Brenda--took a bigger form.

When Copperfox and Aryun approached the vegetarian restaurant the next morning, it was to find a working crew--not one of whom spoke a word of English--installing a new sign atop the roof. It said:

THE PEOPLE'S OCTOPUS COLLECTIVE
Jessica Weaselviper, Manager​

"Is this--HER work, boss?" Aryun marvelled.

"The work of her backers," replied Copperfox; "and I'll bet she IS this 'Jessica Weaselviper." He then confronted the nearest of the workers, and said, "Kelo versus The City Of New London, Supreme Court?" The man clearly understood _those_ words in English, and nodded. But Aryun didn't understand, so Copperfox told him:

"A few years ago, the Change Party majority on the Supreme Court, in the case by that name, ruled in favor of a radical expansion of the 'eminent domain' concept. Under that ruling, governments can simply _take_ private property away from a citizen and give it to someone else who may generate more tax revenue FOR the governments."

Aryun went wide-eyed. "But can't you fight it, Mr. Ravitts?"

"No, I can't," replied Copperfox matter-of-factly. "Brenda told one piece of truth last night: her gang _does_ own the courts now. Have you followed the news of the federal appeals courts in recent years? They reflexively side with whoever is in the WRONG."

"So what do I do now, Mr. Ravitts? Because in the unlikely event that they _want_ me to continue cooking under the new management, I'll refuse."

Copperfox released a sigh. "They'll have to pay me some token compensation. That, my friend, will be yours. I don't need it, since I'm out of the restaurant business."

"But won't you try starting a new restaurant?"

"No. The fix is in. Remember the stink that was made about my not being able to afford comprehensive health insurance for all of you? They'll jump on me over the same issue if I try to start again."

"So what _will_ you do?"

Suddenly, out of the empty air, dramatic music began to play: the vengeful-sounding title theme, composed by Alfred Newman, from an old Western movie titled "The Bravados," which had starred Gregory Peck. "The Grey Eagle will find some way to 'thank' them appropriately for this. But first we have to make the best arrangements possible for the needs of your family. I don't want you to suffer for having helped me."

"But won't it help your case to have exposed Brenda, or Jessica or whoever she is?"

"Only against the harassment charge," replied Copperfox. "What you're seeing here is the _system_ at work: something nastier and bigger than all the 'evil oil companies' and 'evil pharmaceutical companies' they pretend to be so afraid of. But I'll come up with _something_ to let them know they can't have it all their own way."
 
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..... or rather the above thread WOULD be 18 hours ahead of the other characters chronologically except that all of the time traveling that has been going on in this thread had actually disrupted the space-time continuum and characters involved in the RP had suddenly begun to skip backwards and forwards in time with no reason at all. Now all of the characters are randomly dispersed in time throughout the RP!
 
EXCEPT for Emmett, Queenie, and others connected with them. I know I started this thread TO be crazy and random, and it will be so again; but the plot which grew up around Emmett and Queenie is a remarkable case. It has assumed a life of its own, and both Vanessa and I want to see it reach fruition. You know, when the characters on their wedding night shake hands and go sleep in separate houses five miles apart.

After Emmett and Queenie do get married, I plan to transfer them to a story of their own; then, THIS thread can be more purely chaotic again. But even while the love story is proceeding, OTHER characters can be scattered as you said. Especially the 13-year-old runaway princesses on their horses whom they love INSTEAD OF loving people.
 
A 13-year-old girl member takes the previous post personally, and retorts:


How dare you say that I love my horse "instead of" loving people? That's not true! I don't just adore my horse all the time; I also allow my family members to adore my horse too. And if they had their own horses, I would also adore THEIR horses.
 
Message of high importance.

Bat-Bat was once more in his Batcave still undecided whether he should take that vacation to the Bahamas or not. Suddenly, alarms began to ring, only this time they were not his usual vampire sensors that were being tripped. He looked closer and realized that this was a message of high importance. He adjusted his instruments to locate the source and to decode what the messages was.

He was a little astonished, but happy to find out that the the message was a secret recording from Aryun, the cook at Octopus Garden, that rumor had it it was being taken over by some obscure governmental authority. Bat-Bat realized that the message will probably won’t help fend off this truly hostile takeover, but it will help his friend Copperfox, the owner of the establishment. This message will definitely exonerate him, and Grey Eagle of any charges of harassment or inappropriate behavior.

Bat-Bat tuned in all his communication transmitters to send the message in all known frequencies, including satellite frequencies. He also decided to transmit this in the so called Top Secret frequencies used only by the military and the highest of classified spy satellites. Bat-Bat already had them all (don’t ask how he came up with those frequencies. That is really, really, Top Secret).

The entire transmission was rerouted everywhere, especially to all the major news channels in the US and abroad, and a few friendly newspapers and magazines. He especially sent the message to the various news outlets that he knew were calling for Gray Eagle to "admit" guilt in some previous baseless harassment claims. He would love to see what they did this time that they actually had their hands on the truth.
 
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"Wonderful, men!" Arnold shouted out as he saw from atop his hill that his snowmen had won the battle. It was obvious that this first wave proved to be very victorious, and they had the upper hand for the battle. There was nothing that silly ra-... hare could do to keep them from getting the Muffin back. The one that she had stolen... stolen from the Man in Red himself. Arnold, Santa's most loyal penguin, would do anything to get that Muffin back for him.
"Sir, what's the next plan for action?" Hoop asked, proudly standing by his side.
"Get me some ice tea," Arnold replyed. "There isn't much else to do. I mean, what can she do? She's lost, and she has to know it."
"Of course, Sir. Right away," Hoop said, walking away to their food tent and letting out a mini-Teddy Bear flail. He was a troubled plush of fluff right now, but he knew which side he was on and would not stray.
 
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Quernie finally felt a bit relieved. She felt like all her past life was finally disappearing. " Emmett darling, I think I'm ready to go on with my life. This means my life next to you. As your wife. I feel ready for marriage".

Emmett looked a bit concerned. Queenie kissed his face and asked what was going on. Emmett smiled. " You do have true feelings for me darling. You know something is bothering me. It's my good friend Joe. I hope he will be here in time for our wedding. I haven't heard anything from him lately and he is nothing like that. He will be my best man and if anything is wrong I need to know".

Queenie shook her head. " You are right Emmett, this is not like him at all. But if something is wrong, how do we find out?"

Emmett went to see his brother Jake. Maybe Jake heard something from Joe.


In a meanwhile all the guests invited for the wedding arrived. The white Rabbit appeared and brought with him the Hatter and the White Knight. The hockey couple arrived as well. There hadn't been any activity at the Wonderland rpg for a while and everybody felt a bit bored.
 
Yes, she had a plan. She hadn't lost. Her grin grew wider every second that the second fleet of draygons gained altitude. As soon as that penguin's army was defeated, she would have the muffin for herself! That sweet, golden muffin...
The draygons soared in colorful formation to where the snowman army waited, flapping their wings majestically. They kept flapping, each beat adding to the powerful air current they were creating. They circled slowly, getting faster with every rotation, beating their wings with perfect symmetry. Soon a sort of cyclone had formed and was veering towards the snowman army with the skilled direction of the draygons. Spinning faster and faster, it roared over the ranks, snatching the little red hats from their bald heads. As soon as the snowmen were unprotected, more draygons flew over and with their huge lungs they melted -all- the men with their fiery breath, also thawing their comrades. The look of horror on that penguin's face... she almost felt sorry for the little guy. No matter, she would have the muffin back shortly, and then he would be free to do what he wished.
She climbed on the back of her favorite riding draygon and prepared to fly over and discuss the matter with Arnold. He was standing on a small island in the middle of the lake of melted snowmen next to a... a small plush bear, clutching an ice tea with great admiration in his little button eyes. The knowing smirk on Arnold's beak would have been worrying, if there was anything he could possibly do now. She chuckled to herself. "He's lost, and he has to know it."
 
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Lonny carried Alyosha for a little while, and then he began begging to be alowed to walk around for a little while.
"Okay, Alyosha," Lonny said, putting her purple duckling down, "just don't get to far ahead."
"Quack." Alyosha walked on ahead, quacking to himself. Suddenly, he saw a bunny. "Quack," he said.
The bunny twitched its ears and looked at him.
"Quack."
The bunny sniffed him over.
"Quack."
Again, the bunny twitched its ears.
Alyosha waddled back over to Lonny. "Quack."
"Loysha, that's impossible."
"Quack."
"Loysha, parakeets don't live here."
"Quack!"
"If they don't live here, than how come the bunny said there was a whole tree of them??"
"Quack!!"
"Okay, okay, I'll follow you."
Lonny followed Alyosha over to a big tree.
"Alyosha, there are no parakeets in that tree!"
"Quack!"
Lonny gasped. She looked again and rubbed her eyes. There, in the big tree were hundreds of parakeets!
"Quack!"
All of the parakeets looked down at Alyosha.
"Quack, quack, quack!"
Then, the parakeets began chirping "Carol of the Bells"
Loony almost fell over in surprise. "Alyosha, you are amazing!!"
 
"Ha! I knew you all could not be any more cheesier! If I had known any better, I'd say that Artemis had a better idea than that. After all, she IS the creative one of the two of us." Jasper Hale said as he smirked.

"Oh lord, here we go again. Jasper is such an annoyance sometimes." I said as I looked toward Jasper, being his evil self as usual.
 
TAKING VANESSA'S LAST POST AS MEANING THAT EMMETT AND QUEENIE NOW _ARE_ CAUGHT UP CHRONOLOGICALLY WITH MY OWN-SELF CHARACTER....

Jake--who had been willing to step down as his brother's best man in the effort to cheer up Copperfox after all the hard times the old sailor had endured--met Emmett at the steakhouse entrance, with a look on his face which suggested he had serious news. Alongside Jake was a young Hispanic woman whom Emmett recognized as one of the waitresses from The Octopus Garden. When Jake saw that Emmett recognized her, he turned toward her himself as if to yield the floor to her for the giving of news.

"What's going on, Rosita?" Emmett asked. "Has something happened to Mr. Ravitts?" Now he could see that the full-figured waitress had been weeping.

Rosita's sadness for Copperfox turned into anger at those responsible. "The dirty banditos have _stolen_ his restaurant! They rigged an eminent domain case, along with nonsense about 'unfair labor practices' because he had no money to buy health insurance for us all. Senor Emmett, none of us were _forced_ to work for Senor Jose el Zorro de Cupro; we went to work _knowing_ he could not buy the insurance, because it was better than NO employment, and he was a good boss."

Emmett was beginning to catch her indignation; his hand unconsciously strayed near where his lost revolver used to hang at his hip. "Were all of you fired in the takeover besides?"

Rosita's eyes and voice fell. "No, none of us were fired--not even Aryun, who helped Senor Jose to defeat the false harassment charge--"

Emmett's eyebrows shot up. "HARASSMENT charge?" He glanced at the Mod-Cam. "You mean, like you-know-what kind of harassment?"

"Si. The witch Brenda, she if anything was harassing HIM that way, but she lied that it was the opposite. Anyway, the Change Party members who took over the restaurant offered to keep everyone on; and Aryun and I were the only ones who _didn't_ accept the offer. The others, cobardes, didn't even care that our jefe had just been robbed. Aryun is taking his family and leaving town. As for me: read this, por favor; " and Rosita handed Emmett a note written in the clear, legible handwriting of Copperfox.

Unsure whether Jake might have seen this already, Emmett read aloud: "Emmett, this is to ask you to give Rosita a job at your place. I give her my highest recommendation. She will tell you what happened to my restaurant. The way most of my own regular customers actually _cheered_ for the takeover has almost shaken my belief in the existence of loyal people; but Rosita has been a true friend, as have you and Jake. Please give the best man position back to Jake, and he has my thanks for being so generous about stepping down a rung. I do not want you trying to intervene for me in any way; that goes for Trinity and Ghost as well. You and Queenie are entitled to enjoy the wedding you planned, a gift of love given to each other. I was never the kind of man to want other people to starve just because I missed lunch and supper. I'll get to the ceremony if I can....but The Grey Eagle has a job to do. Hopefully not so silly as all those 13-year-old girls on horses. Expect me when you see me; and keep your eyes open for trouble, though they don't seem to be after you. SQUID-BOY."
 
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Harold Shillslick, the local newspaper reporter who had been taken prisoner after discovering the tunnel under Caricature Baptist Church, awoke in a place like a stone-walled prison cell. It had the minimum necessary accommodations for hygiene; and there was food on a small table. He realized he was hungry.

As if knowing the exact moment when the reporter finished eating, the sorcerous-looking man who had captured him now appeared before him.

"If I've blundered into some plan of yours," Harold asked, "Why didn't you just kill me?"

The wizard smiled, a smile empty of life or humor. "Because you were only doing your job; and journalists are useful to us. We will be wanting you to write a hatchet piece on Parson Finney..."
 
"What is it you want me to say about him?" asked the reporter, who considered slandering a clergyman a small price to pay for his own safety.

"Make up something to the effect that he is a racist and a fascist who hates everyone different from himself; and say that Caricature Baptist Church is the same way."

The reporter looked up at the stone ceiling. "But we're AT Caricature Baptist Church, aren't we, sort of?"

The wizard smiled. "Yes; but the building through which you came to this tunnel network does not belong to any of the Baptist denominations. WE set it up as a front. I myself am not even able to enter the Solid Rock Church of Hope, because a power always present there keeps me out. So my, shall we say, association established this mockup church in order to influence the spiritual attitudes of the local community."

"Influence them how?--that is, if you don't mind my asking, sir."

"I don't mind at all. The goal is exactly the same as the goal of many of your own counterparts in the major news outlets: to discredit Christianity. There are actual Baptist churches which have the obnoxious qualitities that we play-act here; but not nearly so many as we want the gullible public to believe. So we help the perception along; anything to estrange more people from the only power against which my magic is itself powerless."

The reporter was less afraid now; he felt less like a captive and more like a recruit. The wizard seemed to sense his change of mood; and with a wave of his hand, he caused the cell door to open. "You are no longer a prisoner; and you are much too intelligent a man for me to need to make dramatic threats of harm to you if you were to expose the truth about us. Come on, I'll show you around. As you have already guessed, these tunnels connect to the First Church of Acquiescence; that is where we want people to be driven TO, if they won't become atheists altogether...."
 
Lonny sat and watched Alyosha conduct his orchistra of parakeets for a while, before she decided that it was time to move on. Alyosha would get himself into trouble if they stayed to long in one place.
 
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