If there had been any doubt about the cultural corrupters being tightly networked, it was dispelled for Emmett while Queenie was out with her bridesmaids. Bat-Bat had confirmed delivering Emmett's letter, then headed off to program the search for the cursed mirror--also to prevent rumors of a new Indiana Jones movie about it. Then, scarcely four minutes after Bat-Bat's departure, ten or more protestors, not one of them a local resident, were in front of the Gunslinger Steakhouse, waving signs that all read either "Meat Is Murder" or "Carnivores Are Criminals." What they were shouting was far less printable than the content of the signs; and for emphasis, one of them threw a rock through a window.
Emmett stepped out the door to meet them, with Jake hurrying to join his brother. Jake had Inkling's shotgun, loaded with rock salt; but Emmett gestured for him to be patient.
One protester made a snowball and hurled it at Emmett's face; but Emmett caught it on the fly, his hand yielding some so the snowball wouldn't be utterly squashed--and flung it right back in the protester's face. The others were startled enough to stop cursing for a moment. Using this moment, Emmett boomed out, "Am I to understand that y'all are concerned for the rights of animals? What about sperm whales, killer whales, dolphins, seals, walruses, bears, lions, tigers, jaguars, leopards, cheetahs, cougars, ocelots, lynxes, bobcats, wolverines, wolves, hyenas, foxes, otters, weasels, ferrets, shrews, eagles, hawks, owls, chaparalls, herons, cormorants, penguins, kingfishers, crocodiles, alligators, gavials, snappin' turtles, monitor lizards, and every species of snake there is? All of _them_ critters eats other critters; I don't see y'all protestin' an' cussin' at them!"
As he said this, he had brought a lariat into view and started it twirling, almost with a hypnotic effect on the small crowd. "Now, folks, I happen to know somethin' that maybe you yourselves don't know. More'n likely, some of your protestin' gets done against rich folks....but you yourselves _got_ some rich folks really callin' the shots for _your_ activities! They don't care that much about who eats what; they care about bein' able to boss folks around. That includes bossin' _y'all_ around. They talk slick, but in the end they want to do the same to _you_ as they wanna do to the rest of us. That, metaphorically talkin', would be THIS--!" And he flung his lasso's wide loop around three of the protestors, tightening it and yanking hard in one motion. The three astonished vegan fanatics had scarcely hit the snow before Emmett had a _second_ lariat in hand, with which he snared and felled two more.
For a split second, those who were still mobile appeared bent on assaulting Emmett and Jake--until Jake stepped forward, letting the shotgun in his hands be clearly seen. So the protesters turned tail and fled, with cries of "Sexists! Racists! Neo-Nazis!" Not one of them found the courage to stay long enough to help their lasso-trapped friends; so Emmett and Jake stooped to untie these.
"Any of y'all play chess?" Emmett asked, getting no answer from the sullen, resentful, but intimidated protesters. "I say that, 'cause all of you are pawns. You think it's okay to try to force us to be vegetarians, because you think no one's going to restrict _your_ tastes and likings. But they _will;_ sooner or later, the same politicians you think are so compassionate, will get around to prohibitin' somethin' YOU like to do. And by then, you'll find that the 'hate speech' laws will have widened their loop, to take _your_ speech in as 'hate speech' if'n you dare to complain. Y'all wanted 'change;' but you ain't even started to see how _much_ change you're gonna get."
As the freed protesters rose to their feet, Emmett suddenly realized that, inside the no-animal-products winter coat, one of them was a woman. In fact, she was the same woman who had kicked him in the shins in New York, that day he had held a door open for her. His recognition came just barely in time--for him to dodge her attempt to kick him again. Enough being enough, he seized her in a stony grip (while her friends left her to her fate like the cowards they were). Then he sat on one of the customer benches outside the steakhouse entrance, and took the unruly woman over his knee, her struggles availing her nothing.
"Stay right here, Jake," said Emmett. "I need you as my witness, for the law, that she tried to kick me first; and for Queenie, that this here's nothin' personal--or, nothin' personal in any way my sweetheart needs to be jealous about." Yanking the heavy coat up out of the way, the gunslinger proceeded to administer a grand spanking to the woman, who spewed out the foulest obscenities either man had ever heard in his life.
Gladys, the bed-and-breakfast owner, came by just then. She did not need to be told that Emmett would never do such a thing as he was doing without great provocation. So she joked, "Does this mean you're marrying this gal instead?"--also knowing that Emmett would never touch Queenie in a rough way.
